Substitute!

The Lord does indeed work in mysterious ways. Sunday saw me pop out for a quick twenty mile blast aboard the Holdsworth before the weather had chance to turn bandit with wind and rain of biblical proportions. Everything was right with the world, riders waved cheerfully as we passed in opposite directions and I was mentally in the zone for typing some extensive copy upon my return. This was shattered suddenly by a very literal sinking feeling. The inexpensive but otherwise very cheerful Outland was creeping into the seat tube. Stopping and tightening the binder bolt made no impression. Arriving home, I reasoned the post diameter might be incorrect. Removal and closer inspection of the seat-tube confirmed these suspicions. The ten year lay-up sans post and subsequent traces of powder coat had seen it compress, explaining why it has entertained a 26.8 for so long.

Purging contaminant presented the ideal opportunity for a light reapplication of Waxoyl. As the sand coloured gloop flooded inside the tubes, a light bulb moment saw me try an old, badly scored 27.2 Kalloy; after all, there was nothing to lose and everything to gain. Cue drum roll, slither of grease around the shaft and in she goes… Admittedly it was tighter than ideal but close enough and besides, cheaper models aren’t machined to the same tolerances as their costlier counterparts. This presented a choice between the beautiful and super svelte Thompson earmarked for the Teenage Dream and an equally tasty budget Carbon Tifosi. Fate decided the latter. Having “skilfully” dropped the Thompson’s cradle bolts, the wind grew with intensity, blowing them into bedding plants and frustratingly out of reach. The carbon Tifosi complete with simple, if slightly agricultural, single bolt cradle was the obvious candidate. Two minutes in the shelter of a warm kitchen saw the Specialized Toupe’ swapped over and the Holdsworth blessed with a beautiful new post. This torrent of Euphoria prompted other changes, most notably this very fetching CNC machined Halo track sprocket and Surly Nick-Less Cage. The Halo replaces the ultra lightweight anodized aluminium model that wasn’t doing a great deal thanks to the unsurpassed refinement of an EAI superstar typically in charge.

It is in fact Cro-moly steel, boding well for longevity and is reasonably priced. The striking blue effect is achieved through a process similar to anodising known as electrophoresis deposition (oft referred to as ED coating) developed and used extensively within the automotive industry. The Surly is a sturdy stainless steel cage, claiming to be a unique design but aside from beefier rod, it mimics the dainty Nitto Continuing a theme of sitting comfortably, the Univega and I have been getting the miles in aboard the classic cutaway Dia Tech. Subjected to Liberal Nikwaxing to protect the hide and promote the breaking-in-process, fifty miles in and we seem to be forming an affectionate bond. However, the base is seven millimetres broader than my regular perches (as determined eighteen months ago in a BG fit consultation) and the initial ten miles had my Ischial Tuberosity screaming for mercy. However, this didn’t demand these buttock abrasion patches but I’ll keep them handy in the rack bag just in case…
The season of tool abductions continue... This week it’s been the turn of my trusty long 5mm Allen wrench needed to tackle the recessed bolts in these Cane Creek V brake specific road levers. These play a central part in the Univega’s reconfiguration but thankfully, this little T-handled beauty came to the rescue, giving change from £3! 8spd bar end levers and 7 speed cassette have been temperamental bed fellows of late so a quick wander around the web unearthed these NOS (New old stock) STX RC pods going for the proverbial song.

These have been mounted inboard of the ends, thus protecting them from thrills, spills and everyday knocks while falling neatly to hand for sweet, swift changes. Having experimented in this direction previously with my mtb based crosser/working bike, mounting the pods low demands some very judicious filing of the internal clamp diameter. Contrary to popular belief, there is no need to splay the clamps, even on very substantial bars as this risks bracket fatigue and/or fractures. However, the makeover cannot be completed without a new stem, one with at least twenty five degree rise. Specialized and Gusset both produce models perfect for these applications-especially riding off road where for effective control, the drops should fall roughly where a flat XC bar would. However, this will have to wait as MOT, servicing and tax were due on my car, leaving me £260 lighter.

Dear Father Christmas…..

Going Steady

No further progress on the Teenage Dream’s continued reconfiguration save for yet another about-turn that sees my preference for the Salsa drops with more subtle curves. This means a new stem and continuing the Woodman theme is this one inch threadless unit acquired very cheaply from the UK importer. Less refined than some, it enjoys a curious industrial beauty thanks largely to the pronounced TIG welding. So, the shims return to the spares drawer while the shorter 8cm extension equates to an arguably perfect fit given the top-tube length.

Rest assured, the whopping WTB are not going to waste- the Univega’s undergoing another transformation prompted by V brakes Originating from the mid to late 90s the frame was built with linear pulls in mind but my love of a well honed cantilever has made this a very slow transition. However, the late 1980s Campagnolo have poor heel clearance and can also interfere with large expedition panniers. Time was when pairing drops and V brakes meant unsightly, if efficient cable pulleys but these days a few manufacturers offer dedicated drop levers with the necessary cable pull. Nevertheless, until said headset press materialises these developments remain firmly on the drawing board… The Holdsworth has also emerged from its seasonal slumber, not on regular duties but the opportunity to test some ultra seductive fixer kit (while the weather remains autumnal rather than consistently wintry) has proven too great a temptation. Most likely to get hipster hearts racing and juices flowing are these classic cutaway leather saddles. Made by Dia Tech, featuring Cro-Moly rails and a choice of three alternative colours (black, pink and white) they look capable of giving Brooks a run for your money but the proof of the perch is in the riding so I’ll see you in a few hundred miles.

With the days increasingly short, I find myself frustrated not to be forging ahead with a book collaboration. Despite tremendous initial gusto, the co-conspirators have all but fallen silent. That said I’m quite capable of paddling my own canoe, acutely aware of the emotional and intellectual energies demanded by these endeavours through watching my father- an author of several academic tomes. So, with the brakes firmly on that project, I’ve been putting these Jagwire pads through their paces. General impressions are favourable, compatible with most brands of calliper, modulation and feel are impressive paired with mid range levers but those of us exceeding ninety kilos and/or habitually riding in the worst weathers are better served by softer compound.
Elsewhere Justin Burls’ wife, Mila is introducing these socks into the UK. Russian made from naturally occurring and chemical free flax linen/elastane, their wicking properties keep the feet hygienically fresh in all weathers. With the strength and practicality of cotton, linen is widely recognised for its healing properties, said in some countries to ward off the evil eye, neurotic disease and heart conditions. These are samples sent for illustrative purposes and too small for my size nines but we’re eagerly awaiting a shipment. Notoriously hard on socks, it will be interesting to see how these fare over the coming months and without overshoes... Mila has kindly offered to send some to these fellas… These former reprobates from the murky world of recruitment, Jamie King and Henry Brydon aka “The blazing saddles” are embarking on an eighteen month charitable wander round the globe in aid of their chosen charities (MS and Brain tumour research respectively). Regular temping counters cash-flow woes between editorial payments, explaining how Jamie became a friendly acquaintance of mine. Inspiration for their epic ride came from a healthy contempt for the nine to five and Alistair Humphreys’ engaging accounts of a four year, 46,000 mile wander around the world (Documented in “Moods of Future Joys” and “Thunder and Sunshine”). Preferring expedition/mtb based tourers they might not be making the pilgrimage on fixers but it’s in aid of some very worthy causes. Take a look at their site and pledge a little something if you can. http://www.theblazingsaddles.com/

Pressing Matters

The teenage dream’s transformation has rolled to a complete standstill thanks to some kind soul helping themselves to my Czech made headset press and the importer advises a timescale of several weeks until the next delivery. I may have to wait, unless Justin (Burls) can come to the rescue and install the mighty Woodman. A local, mobile “Mechanic” ran the proverbial mile at the offer of work and shops seem understandably, reluctant to undertake work unless components are purchased directly from themselves. Good things come to those who wait…. Timely then is the arrival of these advanced Jagwire pads that will soon replace the OEM cartridge types fitted to the budget Miche Performance callipers earmarked for the build. Holdsworth safely hibernating for the winter months, its up to the Univega to provide those much needed smiles per mile and as ever, the tubby tourer saves the day. Sporting 2.1-inch knobblies there’s not a great deal of fender clearance but enough for negotiating surprisingly gloopy trails. Admittedly the wide profile makes for a slightly ponderous passage over tarmac but often, I feel the need to escape winter asphalt in favour of green lanes, bridal path and “roads” less travelled. For all their virtues, they’re not impenetrable as my feral cat demonstrated, puncturing the front with his claws. Attempts to repair the gashed inner tube using the imaginatively named “Porno patches” has proven unsuccessful- a shame given Joshua seemed so pleased with his efforts over the weekend. I may try again saying nothing so as not to shatter his illusions or otherwise weaken confidence in his notable mechanical aptitude. The Stronglight touring triple has been replaced in favour of this keenly priced Shimano Alivio with identical rings-pretty much plug and play with some slight tweaking of the front mech’s adjustment screws. A contemporary two-piece Deore might’ve been the obvious substitution but there’s a good 6,000 miles of life left in the venerable square taper UN52 so, on balance the Alivio is the most cost effective solution.

There was nothing mechanically wrong with the Stronglight; save for the arms running hairs breadth from the frame’s pronounced chainstays- precluding fitment of neoprene chainstay protectors. Introducing winter overshoes resulted in their rubberised heels chafing the frame’s lacquer top coat. Problem solved and shifting seems, pardoning the pun, fractionally slicker to boot… On the subject of footwear, the recent drop in temperatures have seen these emerge from the wardrobe- foul weather mtb booties, I’m eager to lay my hands a road variant but while a little portly, they’re just fine for blazing a trail through the cold but enchanting forests. The other thing I love about winter, aside from riding unspoilt moonlit trails, is cross racing. Here in the UK, Genesis have released a singlespeed/ fixed crosser finished in a very fetching retro orange. Fashioned from worthy, if slightly workman like Reynolds 520, it bears striking resemblance to the Ilpompino save for nicer frame ends and a sharper looking fork blade.
Thoughtfully it has the four pint carrier and fender mounts and sufficient bottle mounts to serve as a four seasons’ sub £500 funster. Obviously, I couldn’t justify it but it’s certainly given me ideas of reconfiguring the Ilpompino with these Schwalbe 38mm studded snow tyres. I had also been looking to acquire an mtb variant (Bike Nashbar used to do a good store branded copy) for the Univega as with good preparation and the right equipment, snow opens new dimensions in riding pleasure but unlike Utah and indeed many other parts of the globe, the paltry few centimetres hardly warrants large investment. Besides which, while there’s always room for fun and being care-free, I’m in no position to squander monetary resources either so some restraint’s a good thing. Elsewhere, good fortune has presented these non-toxic, bridgeable lubes and cleansers that seem equal to, if not superior to, most of those derived from petrochemicals.

I’m particularly fond of the bike wash that leaves behind only a shiny steed. However, a little care is warranted even with these products as they’re made from oranges and the skins contain d-Limonene, which some folk are allergic too. The firm also manufactures a range of belts made from recycled tyres and if you really wanted, they could recycle your own favourite rubber when the time comes… Watch this space.

Forging Ahead With A New Front End

Since my last entry, thanks to one publisher's punctual payment and some divine influence, the forks, Woodman headset, spacers and bar wrap have finally arrived. More curious perhaps are my choice of bar and stem. Admittedly the Salsa Bell-Lap with subtly flared ends were my preferred option but an over sized Outland stem with 31.0 clamp precluded this. To my surprise, the Salsa are standard 26mm bulge diameter and in no mood to waste good parts, I opted for super-stiff WTB drops with greatly exaggerated flare. They're intended specifically as a rough stuff touring/mtb drop but phenomenal rigidity ad broader profile makes climbing easier.

On something of a roll, I finally applied myself to ordering the Nitto shim ensuring harmony between 1/18th stem and one-inch steerer. Shims can be fashioned from scrap aluminium cut with tin snips but £7.50 saves scratching nice parts and/or potentially nasty accidents. Further modernisation comes courtesy of these Cane Creek SC5 levers that will commend the fender friendly Miche Performance callipers with upgraded pads.

Elsewhere, I remain of the opinion that turn signals are silly on a bike. However, these integrated light and indicator units seem very practical for trailers. UK law dictates (with good reason) all tag-alongs have independent illumination for nocturnal use and with the nights drawing in faster than the chancellor's belt, their discovery is timely.

Here in the UK, The Cyclist's Touring Club (CTC) is spearheading a campaign against the social acceptability of casually careless driving. Stop "Smidsy" (An acronym of "Sorry mate, I didn't see you") This classic war cry beloved of inept and dangerous drivers nationally is perhaps more accurately translated as " Sorry,I wasn't looking for you!". My son and I find this depressingly familiar riding the Univega and tag-along so all the more reason to ensure the touring trailer resembles a mobile flight path through winter. A more refined swing arm and hitch ensure snappier installation/removal while smoother bushes mean it tracks better than the older yaks especially through the swooping lanes and back roads where only gentle vibration reminds of its presence. Rummaging in my Ka's boot not only produced my long-lost Sugino crank extractor but two tins of silver enamel paint, identical to the trailer's finish meaning the inevitable nicks, scrapes and blemishes can be skillfully hidden. In any case, the good folk at Maldon Shot-Blasting and Powder Coating have given a sympathetic quote for a two colour black (swing arm) and red (trailer body) respray when the time comes.

Infuriatingly, I managed to loose some vital fitting kit but was rescued by Geld Holmyard from Edinburgh Bicycle (owners of the Revolution brand) with replacements and even included a much needed mudguard bridge in the parcel! Increasingly bitter industrial action by the Royal mail is likely to cause misery to many in the short term but rich pickings for the dispatch mob as the retail industry grooms the public for Christmas-the height of the last dispute saw messengers earning £800 a week! Should this continue, Univega, trailer and I might show some uncharacteristically entrepreneurial spirit!

Continuing the theme of generosity, this delightful mug was an early birthday gift from someone knowing my innermost thoughts and intimate details. For the pragmatists, it holds nigh on a pint of tea/coffee/red bush or indeed soup without resembling the proverbial builder's bucket.

Heeding the advice of one-time wrestler BA Baracus, I've got some (track) nuts, anodized blue Halo's for the Holdsworth no less. I'm not usually keen on alloy fasteners-there's no denying their allure but even precision fit wrenches can wreak havoc on the soft metal.

Unable to to resist the lure of leafy green lanes and forest tracks, made all the more beautiful by the rich autumn colours, I've fitted these Kenda small block 8 knobblies- one in the range of mountain bike legend John Tomac's signature tyres and pretty swift too in their 700x38c form. These are 2.1 inches wide leaving very little room to spare between both frame and portly mudguards-not fag paper close but as intimate as I'd like for trail duties, they're a great excuse for my six year old to join in some muddy fun on the tag-along.

Well, that's all for now. Hopefully by Halloween the shim and headset press will have arrived, signalling an afternoon of measuring, checking, cutting and ultimately a beautiful makeover.

Deviating from the Script Once More

Michael, Michael quite contrary tell me how does your fleet grow? Why, with Miche Primato dual pivot callipers, one inch carbon forks and band on bottle bosses all in a row...
Predictably there's been an about-turn on the Teenage Dream's fork choice-the chrome plated 531 blades complete with threaded steerer were a lovely idea until the "Out of stock" reality hit home. Mercifully Acor's UK distributor, Greyville enterprises have been kind enough to oblige with a carbon unit identical to those sported by Ninja Blue. Alas, the courier, despite having clearly read my note detailing a safe place to leave said forks returned them to the depot!

Impulsively, I've upgraded the budget "performance" calliper in favour of this higher end, Primato sibling-shallower drop, stainless fittings and less generic pads has transformed stopping prowess, modulation and feel. Overkill, given the braking requirements of a minimalist fixed perhaps but far from languishing in the spares drawer, the Performance, with 57mm drop and upgraded pads have sufficient fender clearance without looking "gappy" so will serve the Teenage Dream admirably. Funding these upgrades was the sale last weekend of my unused BOB YAK.

Selling stuff can demand both stoicism and resolve. There were hoards of enquiries from people curious about the Yak-in other words, cyber chancers looking for stuff to sell on eBay. They're quite easy to spot and often seem confounded when you politely decline their offer. One such individual-smacking of a dealer posing as a private consumer; demanded to know what I'd do in the event of not finding a buyer. My response advising I "would simply keep it" clearly left him dumbfounded! My reasons for selling were two-fold, this shop branded copy had come my way and there's no sense in hoarding duplicate stuff that isn't going to be used. After this tide of time wasters, a genuine buyer drifted in, questions were asked, photos exchanged and the deal done. My healthy, robust sense of cynicism suggests the Beast of Burden has a good home and won't find itself on eBay. I'd sooner pass kit on for slightly less to someone who'll enjoy and get use from it.As these photos illustrate, the other distinct advantage of the shop branded copy is its ability to fold compactly inside the waterproof tote bag for easy storage!
Now, these funny little bits of nylon might excite those of you seeking to carry bottles on frames sans braze-ons. True, bosses are easily added to steel frames but you'll scorch the livery-not an issue timed to coincide with a re-spray but some folk like to retain a frameset's originality-especially a classic. Adding braze-ons can also weaken structural integrity-not alarmingly so but some tubesets are more sensitive than others. On the subject of frame properties and specifically issues of rigidity and strength etc, wandering around the web,I happened upon this very interesting study suggesting that good old 531 (now in it's 73rd year) holds up remarkably well against wonder materials in controlled testing.

http://materials.open.ac.uk/bikeframes/bikeframe.htm

Pop-riveting bosses to an aluminium frame can induce similar feelings of revulsion and under the saddle/seatpost mounts aren't everyone's bag. These clever and aptly named "gizmos" can be positioned on the down or seat tubes and accommodates most standard cages without difficulty-just make sure you measure the tube diameter so as to get the right size-padding them out using shims fashioned from defunct inner tube looks second rate at best. For the time being, I'll stick with the Bor Yeuh bottle caddy but these plastic ties were worth experimenting with.

Belt transmissions remained a quiet force at Eurobike and while dividing many of us into simple love/hate dichotomies, Fixie Inc seem very committed having devised the Klick-Flip-the worlds first flip/flop hub for belt drives. Using a six bolt locking system closely resembling a mountain bike disc hub ensures precise alignment-there's no discretion with a belt as anything less than perfect chain line means both uneven wear an reduced efficiency. Supporters of this system cite greatly improved acceleration and transmission braking, zero lubrication and weight savings of around 300g over a comparable chain drive. keeping an open mind, there's still a sense of de-ja vu sweeping over me . Belt drives have been tried before and while undeniably quiet and mess free, debate rages over efficiency, durability and cost of replacement.

Snow drags back the foot that's slow... The dogs of doom are howling low...Well, we've not reached that season just yet. However, I'll take the opportunity to give frames and newly resurrected trailer a booster application of Waxoyling. Given last week's concerns surrounding the chemical composition of some workshop staples, it seems ironic and possibly hypercritical that I have ploughed surplus proceeds from the trailer sale into acquiring a batch of biodegradable miracle cleaners, degreasers and sufficient car wash/wax concentrate to set myself up commercially. Rest assured, corresponding quantities of Latex examination gloves were not forgotten.

Cranking it Up

Lo and behold, days after my last entry, this substantial hot forged Stronglight track crankset came under my radar. Adding 220g to the build might fill some with horror but in practice, power transfer is greatly improved thanks to the rigidity of the arms. Coupled with a deep section CNC machined chainring, this largely addresses the shortcomings of square taper designs whether climbing out of the saddle or full out on the flat-at least for riders hovering between 70 and 80 kilos.

Dual sided SPD make a great deal of sense on a road fixers but then these Look KEO copies sport magnesium bodies, sealed cartridge bearings and tip the scales at a very reasonable 220g (pair) while giving an aesthetically sharper feel. Magnesium has been criticised for being whippy but charging along the climbs, out of the saddle with my full weight atop them, I haven't noticed any of the dreaded flex and engagement's only fractionally slower when snatching away from the lights.

With the nights drawing in, the murkier and dare I say, grimier season looms large on the horizon. Less daylight demands better time management and my attention turns to convenience cleaning products-bike wash, hand cleansers etc. Being honest, save for working bikes serving in crime ridden, inner city districts, the promise of effortlessly gleaming steeds in minutes is a real crowd pleaser but in keeping with some washing detergents, ingredients can be a real witches brew.

Anyone involved in the repair side of the auto industry should be only too aware of the dangers associated with prolonged exposure to petro-chemicals and their health effects. Probe deeper into these wonder potions and often you'll discover hormones and carcinogens closely associated with infertility/birth defects, cancers and other physiological change.It's nothing new or restricted to industrial applications-these are commonly found preserves and stabilisers in cosmetics/toiletries.

Large manufacturers promote their benefits for the lowest possible price and as consumers we passively collude without thought to the longer term consequences. Equally, those boasting super invasive, filth busting formulas must also have some degenerative effect upon welcome lubrication. I for one am careful to avoid spraying such formulas-even citrus based, directly at headsets, hubs, bottom brackets. Fussy? maybe but there's insufficient evidence to suggest these chemicals, ingested through the skin don't mutate or contribute to disease or illness. I'm not trying to cultivate paranoia but it's food for thought and gloves, Latex or otherwise are wise precautions when working with them.

Nothing gladdens the callous hearts of bike-thieves more than a nice, shiny anonymous looking bike they can flog quickly without trace. Therefore, I've opted to treat Ninja Blue and the Teenage Dream to Alpha dot. It's been on the market for a good decade or so and feedback suggests it's like kryptonite to the professionally light fingered and insurers lower their premiums accordingly. Like any other tagging system, there's no substitute for solid, properly used locks and secure storage but they mean bike and rightful owner stand a hope of being reunited. It's a lacquer containing a unique code linking bike and owner courtesy of a central database. Unlike transponder systems which are easier to dispose of, a thief can never be sure they're removed all trace and can be applied to most surfaces without affecting paint, lacquer, plating or anodizing.Last but not least, the Univega finds itself sporting this nifty T section alloy cage designed to haul 1.5 litre PET bottles without flinching, making those impulsive roadside purchases easier to cart about. Measuring 33cm long, fitting's tricky on compact framesets, demanding I forgo one mounted on the seattube but the benefits outweigh the shortcomings. That said, I've a feeling my dentist doesn't share my enthusiasm!

Pedalling Contradictions

Some rides flow seamlessly while others have very clearly defined beginnings, middles and ends-Sunday's mid morning meander being a case in point. With the strong autumn sun calling it was time for Ninja Blue and I to take advantage of the temperate conditions before weather more characteristic of the season took hold. Ninja Blue is my pet name for the Holdsworth-there's a long sentimental story underlying this curious moniker and maybe someday I'll share it.

Gliding through the village, attune to traffic conditions, yet equally consumed by my thoughts, we turned right into the tight and winding back roads to a warm "Alright mate!". Caught by surprise, I must've seemed unnecessarily aloof bordering on discourteous realising the second of two road riders was in fact addressing me. Tongue and manners rediscovered I managed a polite "Yourself?" before his "Yeah, not bad" concluded our dialogue.

My disconnected response left a twinge of guilt but then: I was in one of those very quiet modes that typify me-times calling for steady cadence, reflection and inner peace. Bowling along the lanes saw periodic encounter with kindred spirits before confronting Little Mountains Road. My ego whispered of how I flew up here in my teens-fixed or freewheel and mercifully powering a 79 inch gear, my legs met the challenge without hesitation despite road surfaces resembling treacle toward the summit. Unusually, body and soul felt no inclination to cruise beyond 20mph throughout our journey.

In retrospect this was just as well, entering another twisting turn and chasing onward I was greeted by a group of children playing in the lane. Given these paranoid times, I was reassured to see them so carefree. This was diluted by their desire to dart back and forth across the narrow stretch of road. Mercifully, a cautiously driven Renault MPV had tempered their passion for this curious game of dare, though my right hand hovered over the brake nonetheless. A quick kick of the transmission saw us steal a march on potential chaos. Clocking up the miles, I'm starting to notice small flaws in the build. Nothing monumental but the budget Stronglight crank shows discernible flex under load. Credit where it's due, everything turns smoothly and reliably enough and given the Holdsworth will be hibernating through the winter months upgrades are unnecessarily indulgent... Unless something irresistible presents itself at the right price.
Elsewhere the Teenage Dream is entering the second phase of its makeover but this has introduced a wealth of complications. It was an oh-so-simple recipe, purchase carbon fork, Woodman sealed bearing Aheadset and suitably refined bar and stem. Teenage Dram brought well and truly into the 21st Century...Then along comes chrome. Not just any old chrome mind, oh no. 531 race blades and a threaded steerer. This saves a good wedge of cash and worthy components from languishing in the spares drawer.
It's been seventeen years since I bought anything sporting chrome-the Teenage Dream's winter sibling had a fully chromed uni-crown cro-moly fork. Objectively, chrome plating is an awful process to subject delicate,precision components and thin walled frame tubing. I'll concede half-chrome chainstays are very alluring but this exterior beauty comes at a high price....Involving acid baths and other brutality, it's a process Dr Crippin would approve of and not the sort for a beautiful bicycle frame. Before any plating is added, substantial amounts of metal are stripped from the tubes ready for polishing. Later stages involve plenty of dunking in acid and other toxic brews before passing through a neutralising bath in the hope of purging any remnants. Any traces left here will result in internal corrosion and ultimately frame/fork fatigue.

Decorative chroming by nature is notoriously thin, made worse by modern platers forgoing the protective copper layer. This leaves a porous surface and the steel beneath vulnerable to rust-especially in coastal regions. Because paint doesn't magically stop where the chrome starts, finishers employ acid etch primers to cajole it to the slippery surface but longevity is poor and the paint ultimately recedes. Columbus strongly advise against it- ironic given most Italian marques sport acres of it!

Knowing this, why then am I still lusting after a pair? Well, £55 for 531 with a sloping crown is too tempting while allowing the channelling of precious resources into other projects. That said, the merest hint of a price hike will see me running to contemporary carbon faster than a tot with grazed knees to their mother.