This is one of those urban myth
turns disturbingly real moments on a par with the infamous worn shoe cleat
incident back in 2008. Having reverted to some 25mm thick slicks and given the
Ilpompino a quick blow over with this here Purple Harry bike wash, I was
cleansing the transmission with a cloth dipped in Shell’s finest when a
moment’s distraction saw my index fingers sandwiched between revolving 1/8th
half-link track chain and razor sharp EAI sprocket.
Those initial seconds of panic
suggested partially severed digit but ten hours in accident and emergency
revealed “severe crush injuries”-fractured fingertip, badly damaged nail bed
and related complications. To their credit, the empathy and professionalism
shown by surgical and nursing staff was truly phenomenal and serves to
illustrate how fortunate we in the UK are to have a national health service of
this calibre. However, successive administrations have been eroding this
precious resource, or undermining its credibility with frightening stealth.
Subsequent visit meant seven
hours wait, thirty-five minutes under local anaesthetic as the surgeon
skilfully flush the wounded area with saline and disinfectant before removing
the nail bed, suturing damaged tissues. Since then I’ve partaken in a cathartic
“hair of the dog” ritual, drizzling fresh lube into each and every link in much
he same fashion as we might hop back on following a spill to prevent
aversion/irrational fear taking hold. Having repatriated bike, workstand and assorted
potions to their rightful place in the garage, it occurs to me that for the
most part magic bike wash formulas are variations upon a relatively similar
theme.
More aggressive types contain
greater intensities of ionic surfactants, commonly found in domestic
detergents, which while effective, can ultimately lead to streaking and in some
cases corrosion around eyelets, sometimes plated/polished sections too. That
said, this is easily countered with periodic furniture polish/polymer wax
treatments. Gentler formulas are kinder, albeit higher maintenance-especially
when witches’ brews of road specific grime’s involved.
So, what have we learned
from this particular tale of woe? Always use a long handled brush and turn the
wheel, as apposed to cranks cautiously when fettling chains-that goes for
single-speeds too- you have been warned. Hope this episode hasn’t spooked
Joshua since he’s been revelling in two-wheeled freedom these past few weeks.
Incident aside, the majority of
that week was spent aboard the Teenage Dream, which is as rewarding as ever to
ride once I’d cured the Regina screw on block’s protesting pawl springs with a
few drops of winter weight Weldtite wet lube and substituted the Prolite Cles
for this droop snoot Selle SMP strike plus cutaway. The otherwise technically
superlative grey polymer bar wrap has started looking decidedly jaded-hence
will be superseded by these rather ravishing Ritchey reels but that’s about the
extent of modification. Oldie but goodie, we dropped two macho boys who drew
alongside with a competitive stance while said twenty something and I whizzed
serenely through the twisties. Regular Thursday nighter’s who’ve shown laden
Univega and I a clean set of hoops on several occasions, they seemed more than
a little surprised when I cruised past, giving considerably greater clearance
than they typically afford me.
One clung to my rear wheel in a desperate attempt to save face
(overtaken by a fella riding a friction shift-oh the shame!) but rapidly
relented as tempo and gradients increased. I’m all for a bit of friendly
competition but don’t take kindly to etiquette that belongs in bunch sprints,
not sleepy backwaters.
Overtake so as
not to almost nudge bars, or causing the “slower” rider to brake sharply to
avoid collision. Shame I wasn’t wearing the wingman that evening- would’ve made good
footage. Speak of the devil, slightly wibble prone handlebar bracket and
irksome micro (as opposed to fully fledged) SD card aside, I’m really chuffed
by the little camera, which delivers audio/visual feedback on par with Go Pro’s
hero and has as many mounts as one could possibly crave.
Will try and upload some
evidence in the coming weeks once a 32gb card arrives and my braking hand has
healed satisfactorily. Continuing this disciplined theme comes the book’s
resurrection with a provisional Christmas completion date. Approaches to
established publishers have reaped relatively little reward, historically and
currently so I may succumb to the lure of Amazon’s e-book platform, if only to
ensure its tangible existence.
