Huzzah!

In swept the heat wave, so Holdsworth emerged from prolonged hibernation for some midsummer fun. Fresh gripper paste on its Tifosi carbon post, Specialized perch further forward, 125psi into the tyres and a quick beeswax furniture polish blow-over later, we hammering along the sweeping back doubles at 25mph plus.

Carbon fork, post, large flange hubs, CNC machined drive sprockets and stout KMC Onyx chain certainly help but despite being 60 years old, those plain gauge 531 tubes still deliver a responsive, rewarding ride.

This intoxicating serenity was rudely interrupted by the sudden and unexpected and almost comedic jettisoning of its newly fitted Altura wedge pack-straight into deep, roadside undergrowth. Closer inspection revealed the sprung Klick fix mechanism had gone the way of elderly underwear elastic and wouldn’t engage convincingly with the resin post mount.

This isn’t a reflection on the otherwise superb bag and said failure would be covered under warrantee. However, in my experience, sprung mechanisms per se (most notably smart heads on pumps and standalone pressure gauges) prove phenomenally reliable, serving us faithfully until they suffer sudden cataclysmic implosion.

Momentary, slightly indigent frustration was swept aside by risky pragmatism.

Resting my beloved fixer against a five bar gate, I slipped mini pump, 15mm wrench, tyre levers and glue-less patches into jersey pockets, hid the stricken tool caddy deeper within the undergrowth and thundered on.

Thankfully the puncture fairy smiled down upon me for the remaining twelve mile loop, though having re-entered the zone where physical exertion unleashes enhanced mental processing, the most convenient method of carrying it home still eluded me.

The light bulb moment struck while descending at 46mph. I decided simply to shove the stricken bag beneath my jersey for the remaining three miles. Admittedly, some folks (including a group of reservist fire fighters) stared in wide wonder at my newly acquired pectoral mass that could almost pass for backstreet breast implants.

Thankfully the shame was only fleeting given I was travelling at 18mph and quickly substituted with my own subversive sniggering...

Back in the bat cave, the most obvious solution appeared in the guise of this B’Twin 700 bottle caddy. Ride essentials ported across and mini pump riding shotgun on the bottle cage, it’s an unobtrusive, cheap as chips solution.    

Obviously, this means I either opt for another SKS cage mount adaptor, which might look a little Lego-like but seem superbly engineered, a hydration pack, or a less convenient Tri type-know there’s one in my bodge box doing nowt.

Talking of frames, the world of traditional frame building continues to contract. Yes, there will always be a market for bespoke steel framesets but small scale craftspeople are either working for specialist brands, designing and building higher end production bikes, or adopting a much broader retail model.

That’s not to say its romantic allure is waning the cycling publics’ consciousness-forums are wilting under the heat of people waxing lyrically about intricate lug work and impeccable brazing (although the former is also a clever way of hiding a multitude of flaws).

Shrewd builders with sufficient space (not to mention; patience) have tapped into this phenomenon, offering week long courses whereby keen enthusiasts can build their own frameset from one of the more user friendly Cro-molys-Reynolds 525 being a deservedly popular choice given the bewildering array of sizes and wall thicknesses.

Presented with such an opportunity, I would be delighted to enrol and hopefully come away, pleased as punch with the fruits of my labour but with no commercial pretensions whatsoever.

Then of course, interest in older frames has also mushroomed with a more generic retro revival encompassing “classic” cars, motorcycles, scooters, not forgetting clothing. During my teens, a classmate and self-appointed fashion guru made an unusually insightful remark. Chinos had just swept back in along with Flat tops and other styles with a 1950s flavour and he commented that fashion had reached the point where it couldn’t progress any further, so was and would continue borrowing from the past.

Frame fit pumps are also starting to gain a niche following too. Ultra efficient models capable of delivering 120psi are still very relevant. I still mourn a ¾ length resin Specialized model that was so cruelly nudged from its bracket and crushed beneath the wheels of an approaching double decker bus although I’ve gotta admit, Co2 cartridges are worth their weight in gold by the roadside.

Right, well you’ll excuse me while I do some forward planning for Seven Day Cyclist (www.sevendaycyclist.co.uk) and continue building my photographic website. Continuous development is crucial in a perpetually changing world, one that seemingly never sleeps.

Frisky, Flickable Fun & Formidable Futures?

This month I seem fixated by the letter F….

With the odd tweak or two from ones’ trusty T25 Torx driver the Ilpompino’s transformation is complete, pretty much as I’d envisaged.  Near as damn-it straight blades, those Kinesis forks and 28 spoke Shimano wheel have brought a much livelier, yet still predictable feel up front, while the Avid and Jagwire combination scrubs off the speed handsomely.

In retrospect I pruned the Jagwire’s housing on the shorter side of exacting but without impairing function There’s no binding while performing figure of eights, or similarly exaggerated turns and even with the relatively modest Campagnolo homage Tektro lever doing the pulling, modulation and feel are delightful. 

Some superficial grime on the rotors usually assists stopping prowess hence I’ll be cultivating a few weeks’ worth before any cleaner’s introduced. Another surprise has been how well 160mm rotors dissipate heat-even when they’ve been partially engaged for a mile or so at 25mph.

 Not that I’d be tempted (or frankly, stupid enough) to touch a hot rotor…

Talking of trimming, another foraging spree unearthed some, new and uncut mudguard stays. Stainless quality is yet unknown but they seem reasonably malleable and hopefully won’t breakout in a blizzard of corrosion several months’ down the line.

However, since summer is threatening to break through, the new front end has brought out a gravel bike persona, so I’m seriously tempted to remove the rear, pop on that 35mm Vittoria Randonneur hyper tyre and enjoy this aesthetic purity until September’s swansong.  

Previously I have explored the notion of obsolescence in relation to human capital and technological change. While there is a wealth of evidence suggesting that people with (desirable) transferable skillsets can leap frog into new industries and even experience upward social mobility; we are also facing a stark reality that many will literally become economic landfill as increasingly sophisticated robotic and cyborg technologies make the transition from military/defence to civilian/industrial contexts.

To that end and as an abstract, I have often pondered life with an android housekeeper/companion in preference to a dysfunctional marriage/relationship. Ah but what if said hybrid was able to override their programming; developed a more sinister consciousness and systematically launch a campaign of physical/emotional terror upon me…    

“Humans”; a drama presently being screened on channel4 explores this particular moral maze with remarkable depth and insight. Set in the present, large corporations are marketing “synths” (Synthetics) which are essentially complex androids as alternative nannies, housekeepers/personal assistants or semi-skilled labour to well- heeled domestic and commercial consumers.

There are some definite nods in the direction of Ridley Scott’s “Blade Runner” replicant narrative. Parallels are also apparent between “Black Mirror” (a series of chilling shorts); though this is to be expected given both are produced by the same company.  

Not all synths are created equal-a particularly high functioning group are on the run and trying to liberate their kin from this sort of servitude. Enter “Anita” a stunning mixed race Humanoid woman acquired by the husband of a loving, though clearly troubled professional family.

As time progresses she begins tapping into the lawyer mother’s deep, psychological anxieties, while systematically wooing their youngest daughter and slowly seducing her husband and teenage son. Thus far it’s highly compelling viewing, although I’m unable to watch the original showings, so am extremely grateful for the ability to watch it on demand.

Continuing with the letter H, I’ve finally found some time to focus on the Holdsworth, swapping its magnesium BBB Keo patterns for those recessed SPDR Wellgo R717 and installing the Altura Explore seat pack. With temperatures creeping towards the high 20s, it’s time to clip in and get some serious playtime in.   

Right now a different sort of scheduling demands I photograph some chains for a group test…