Lubes, Lotions & Love Potions

Steady (as distinct from miraculous) recovery from sabre-tooth man-flu coincided with the arrival of these three lubes from White Lightning best described as diet, regular and over proof! The clean ride goes on wet before turning to a milky white paste, shedding accumulated dirt, grunge and grime and can be reapplied with the minimum of fuss without recourse to solvents and chain baths. An obvious favourite for those lazy, hazy days of summer, it's just the ticket for derailluer driven cross and winter workhorses with top-ups around the eighty mile mark.

Their Epic ride formula is something of a curiosity trying to marry the best of both wet and dry worlds in a semi synthetic blend that doesn't attract dirt and reapplied without recourse to extensive wiping and/or solvent baths. Great for mile munching Audax riders, the four ounce sample slips effortlessly inside jersey pockets, wedge/saddle bags/ panniers. Early indicators suggest these non-toxic base oils and petroleum distillates meet their objectives but require copious rag and a steady hand to prevent considerable wastage.

Nigh on thermonuclear protection comes courtesy of Wet-Ride extreme which, taken at face value could be the river rider's wet dream. Super economical to apply, it doubles as a nifty grease substitute for cleats, threaded components/ fasteners/locking mechanism while remaining steadfast and true over high mileages in salty, coastal climes. Control cables and pivot points call for something lighter but foul weather fixed/single-speed pilots and end-to end checkpoint charlies won't be disappointed.

Having mastered production of corrosion inhibitors, a wet, miserable Saturday afternoon prompted my first batch of citrus based, paint friendly bike wash. First impressions weren't so favourable- impotent even, but adding some freshly squeezed orange to the mixture saw it devouring acres of congealed mud. Three minutes and a warm-water rinse later, Joshua's Raleigh was literally squeaky clean!

The expression " Cheap as chips" couldn't be more apt when describing the tumbling prices of electronic technology. Only a few years back, twelve function wireless computers would've commanded the lion's share of £35. In 2011, this pair of Veloset units give change from £25! Chinese made to a pleasing and extremely user-friendly standard, the cheaper 212 seen on Joshua's bike incorporates a really useful back light and large easy-to-read display. Adequate weather seals are readily improved with a customary lick of petroleum jelly on the electrical/battery contacts and a placing a thin freezer bag atop the head unit should be sufficient to counteract all but the most torrential downpours. Common to the sharper styled and better sealed 213 adorning the Univega's cockpit, it boasts a thermometer, although the jury's out as to whether this is genuinely useful-aside from the obvious group-ride bragging rights.

By contrast, these Altura kids gloves weren't so inexpensive. Weatherproof, three layer construction, rubberised non-slip palms and fingers, thunsulate linings make for the perfect technical glove whether cruising through the lanes together on the tag-along or indulging in those rites of passage snowball fights... Alas they've been mislain- more accurately one is thought to be lonesome in his school drawer. Oh the folly of youth and the joys of parenthood!