Another Fait Accompli

Well frankly it was, credit card materializing within my fevered fingers as if driven by occult forces. £29.99 lighter and several minutes later, said square taper LX crankset was winging its way here. 

Presently cocooned within bubble wrap, I’m denying child like urges to undertake transplant surgery since the Alivio remains in extremely rude health. Once the existing chain, cassette and late middle-aged LX mech sing their swansongs, I’ll give said tubby workhorse’s Microshift brifters responsibility for an extra sprocket and take advantage of readily available mid range consumables. Besides, time management will be a familiar concept to most freelancers. The ability to escape for a ride, introduce new equipment etc on my own terms is deeply liberating but with such reward comes great responsibility/discipline.

Submitting successive, decent features/book proposals is exhausting, it can take several weeks for their recipients’ response, especially during what’s dubbed “The silly season”. In press parlance this has traditionally referred to freelancers stepping in to fill the boots of more established anchor folk while the world and their offspring are reading trashy airport novels on a beautiful beach somewhere or just mingling at late summer barbecues. For some it’s an ideal opportunity to demonstrate their true potential, though easily leads some people punching above their weight.

I regularly listen to Women’s Hour while slaving over a hoit keyboard, primarily because I find the differing perspectives on a wealth of subjects are delivered with considerable insight and ownership by Jenni Murray/Jan Garvey.Alas, I found myself increasingly irritated by Kirstie Allsopp’s feature exploring women's childbirth choices. Clearly very passionate  she couldn't execute with sufficient authority and the piece felt closer to the standards I'd expect from an A level media studies student than seasoned broadcast journalist. 

More convincing than the recent litigation brought forward by supposedly disillusioned readers of Lance Armstrong’s inspirational works though. I read the first while holidaying in Rome but never really bought into the franchise or fairytale. Suing Armstrong on the grounds of fraudulent misrepresentation strikes me as little more than a deeply cynical means of financial gain and marginally less irksome than a decidedly aggressive young man who ploughed into my  Endura engined Ford Ka back in 2006.

He (successfully I might add) sued me for “hurt feelings”. Against this and a backdrop of increasingly fractious road encounters, I lost no time in renewing my third party cycling cover. Pragmatically, I have little qualm about this since it reinforces the message that bicycles/tandems/recumbents are vehicles with equal rights/responsibilities when navigating the public highway.

Parallels with Armstrong’s case might be somewhat tentative, though illustrate how eager people are, especially in less favourable fiscal circumstance to seek easy financial remuneration.  Negotiating some deeply deprived neighbourhoods on a daily basis for many years left little doubt that people would wantonly stray into my path, seeking damages, spurred on by the relentless barrage of television advertisements.

Collision with a car could also result in the owner/driver seeking financial redress for repairs. Simple and relatively inexpensive cover is often available through clubs/organisations, typically with some sort of legal support. Obviously, this wouldn’t stem the claims culture outlined above but it might go someway to muting disturbingly mainstream assertions that people choosing to use human powered vehicles are reckless reprobates needing institutional help. Sadly, we have it seems, also reverted to an insidious “Asking for it” misogynist mindset-even amongst young women, some of whom would readily identify themselves as feminist. ...

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Sharper Focus

Resisting a New Old Stock square taper Shimano LX crank spotted for the paltry sum of £29 required phenomenal resolve but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the Univega’s existing Alivio unit. Steel rings might well be regarded as low rent  though have some considerable advantages on a bike turning big mileages in all weathers-longevity being the most obvious. Lowlier groupsets aren’t nearly so seductive to light fingered types either, especially those with shopping lists who might pop back with reinforcements/appropriate tooling another time. Monies are better deployed on new/upgraded photographic equipment-reflectors, ring flashes, backdrops and contemporary editions of Photoshop right now.   

Progression continues on the book front too, with contact from a well-known US publisher showing promise but this is no time for self-congratulatory back slapping, or complacency for that matter. Have also been reaching out further into the US market features wise with mixed results-some only to keen to explore possibilities, others a pronounced indifference and in some cases downright hostility.

This latter emotion is something all too prevalent within twitter land, where distinct, troll-esque cyclist hatred has developed. Most of the commentary is vile, inarticulate stuff from those bright young things who, despite supposedly unprecedented academic results fail to recognise that bragging about assault and driving while under the influence of alcohol/ other, prohibited substances on social media has severe consequences. I have also noticed an insidious and equally disturbing misogynistic undercurrent flowing with phenomenal force. Once considered the preserve of bitter middle aged men, young women seem to have bought into this wholesale, sickening nastiness making its progression all the more clandestine. 

Steering back from the brink, there’s been some lovely kit arriving on my test bench these past few weeks.Recent “heatwaves” have underlined the importance of hydration.  Axiom’s ripple cages come in both stainless and titanium forms and show some obvious nods in the direction of Nitto’s phenomenally delicate-looking R series shown here adorning the Teenage Dream’s seat tube. However, 4.2 and 4mm diameter tubing respectively make better hosts to full 750ml bidons. Oh and while I’m on the subject, look elsewhere and to something carbon/composite if you’ve leanings toward aluminium SIGG or thermos types such as Elite’s Deboyo. The latter not only keeps tipples, soups etc at their desired temperature but is designed for cage and er, civilian duties -perfect for crisp December cyclo cross meets and long hauls in the car too. 

Sometimes I’m passed things with considerably more to them than meets the eye. Take this Strider. Cursory inspection suggests there’s a fag paper separating it from a host of similar hobby horses. However, Ryan McFarland (founder and current CEO) hails from a highly competitive, not to mention mechanically minded family.

Once a moto crosser, McFarland came over to mountain biking and gave us the mighty “thud buster” suspension seatpost before developing the Strider with help from his two young protégé’s. The Mk4 seen here now features powder coated livery, sealed cartridge bearings and improved EVA tyre tread for reduced rolling resistance. An undeniably brilliant teaching aid capable of spurring the quickest learners to bicycles proper in a matter of days, the inability to retrofit transmission is something of a missed opportunity. Depending on individual children, this may mean something like Frog’s aluminium framed 43 or Isla bikes CNOC represent better investments, especially for those nearing school age. 

Now to the issue of friction-we all know to drizzle magic potions on our chains but the numbers of folk who needlessly succumb to blistering/saddle sores never ceases to amaze me. Ok, so we’ve come a long way since the like of Coppi, Anquitel and Simson shoved raw steaks between their more intimate regions and not so supple genuine chamois. Most of us use synthetic pads with Coolmax wicking fibres and silver that not only keep us cool and relatively odour free but can be tossed in the machine wash at forty degrees without further ado. However, long hauls, especially breaking in traditional leather saddles can introduce a fair bit of discomfort. I’m not alone in thinking that natural ingredients are the way forward, especially on products applied next or directly to my skin, let alone genitalia. Home Scents, a small company based in the North East of England thought I might fancy putting their sensitive skin formula through its paces.  

Credit where due, they don’t fudge matters when it comes to full and frank disclosure of ingredients and some fairly long outings atop a virgin Brooks B17 suggest it’s a pretty good bet, on par with some household names I’ve done some serious time with.  Aside from the wedge pack friendly 100g tube, ours also came in thimble pots for quick top-ups-perfect for those weekenders. That said, post ride scrub offs in the shower are imperative to prevent blocked pores leading to potential infection. Right then, time to diiiismount and arrange another helmet for Joshua since he's just advised me his beloved Giro lid is about to collect its pension!    

Life & Lightweight Bicycles

I’m going to begin on a philosophical note germinated while bombing through deserted lanes on the Univega the other morning. Battling a curious and slightly unforgiving headwind while rejoicing in the whispering of the trees, thoughts sped through my consciousness at an equally fluid rate. The most profound of which were less concerned with the chapters of my book than metaphors for life. Sometimes situations mirror the experience of piloting 350lb middleweight motorcycles. Unlike a sub 20lb pared to the essentials bicycle, course cannot be altered by deft flick of the handlebars and you simply have to follow the line you’ve set. None is more appropriate when describing the process of writing. A certain element of blind “This must and will happen” faith provides the underpinnings while words are lain sequentially and as a process-rather akin to watching a skilled coach builder/panel beater construct, form and shape car bodywork.

Recent months have seen a sense of gradual and positive progression as the sections evolve and form a tangible entity. Yes, they remain in a raw, untreated state (rather akin to my derriere’ bedding in a traditional leather saddle) but nonetheless the structure continues to evolve into a readily refineable state. My late father used to remark that being too critical was the enemy of first drafts. Editing could come later and while the chapter or broader manuscript had been standing a while-afterall, these projects are century rides, not ten-mile sprint ‘till you’re lungs burst and legs scream with lactic acid” affairs.  Against this backdrop, it will come as little surprise that I have only caught the highlights of Britain’s commendable and heartening Olympic cycling successes.

This has also seen a (possibly temporary) resumption that fame/recognition lies with talent, ability and moreover considerable effort rather than simple celebrity or my old nemesis, nepotism. Sure, personality plays as part, as does luck but observation suggests that wider, global influences aside; the UK has been sunk by decades of competitive individualism presiding so disproportionately over co-operative communities. Arguments rage as to whether we have become de-skilled or if broadly similar skills are being cultivated within new industries. A coachbuilder once said to me that computer programming was relatively straightforward for someone coming from that, apprentice trained background. Intelligent children are being consigned to failure simply because they do not fit an extremely narrow academic artery. “University” has in many respects become the new national service, something that is a rite of passage. Indeed, I have heard many fathers refer to their children as being “On leave from Uni”.

Education and intelligence are often two very different things. A degree, or indeed postgraduate qualification is of little consequence if it has been learned by rote and the underpinnings of such theories lost upon the recipients.  I long ago left behind the notion of idolising people, simply because it becomes a recipe for disappointment. However, I would like to spend some time with David Bailey. Not because of his successes and influence as a photographer/image maker/artist but his embodiment of the meritocratic philosophy and intolerance for fools. Olympic security staff appears to fall into the latter category, prohibiting any camera with a detachable lens, supposedly to prevent unofficial press photographers sneaking in. My subversive streak chuckles at he thought of arriving with a cold war beauty.

This leads me nicely to WD40’s new specialist range. These shouldn’t be misconstrued as cycling specific but a fast acting de-greaser; penetrative spray and two weights of PTFE lube lend themselves handsomely to cycling duties. A clever articulated smart straw collar replaces that iconic red applicator that invariably made a bid for freedom beneath refrigerators, dog kennels and other inaccessible regions, allowing very precise, localised treatments whether you’re stripping drivetrain gunge or trying to persuade that lovely fluted seatpost free.

The banshee howl seemingly purged from the Univega’s 986 cantilevers had returned and try, as I might wouldn’t subside, forcing their substitution in favour of these Raleigh branded Alhonga. Uncannily similar to Tektro Onyx using an M system pattern straddle wire, set up proved a little tricky to start with but with a quick jot of PTFE spray on the balance screws and minute tweaks of the cable tension everything aligned nicely.

Modulation and feel are a little softer than the previous configuration but still reassuringly prompt and moreover, squeak free, although I might see what impact upgrading the pads has on proceedings. These BBB Dual ride combi have replaced the otherwise charming ATAC derived Time and are another impressive pattern design.

Comparison with Shimano’s venerable AP530 is inevitable, while the build quality is top notch, bolstered by ready spares availability from cartridge bearings and Cro-moly axles through to the stainless steel plate means they present a viable long-term investment. My one minor gripe concerns the tension adjuster isn’t the most conveniently tweaked with those 3mm hex keys common to most multi tools. Support to the feet is equally impressive, whether clipping along in cleats or scooting past lines of stationary/slow-moving traffic, where a quick dab-down can avert disaster. 

Returning to a lightweight theme, a cautionary tale concerning thin walled tubing and electroplating. This 70’s Carlton came through Maldon Shot blasting & Powder Coating’s doors for a blast and chrome effect powder transformation. Closer inspection and a quick tickling from the aqua blast revealed it had been previously re-plated and the residual acids had nibbled through the steel in key, structural areas.

Then came two Dawes. A 70’s bottle green, Birmingham built 531 Galaxy and this curiously fetching 500 Cro-moly training frame, somewhat reminiscent of my own winter build from the same period, save for mine ironically sported chrome uni-crown fork blades. Noteworthy on several grounds, the galaxy was something of an institution along with Claud Butler (Holdsworthy) Dalesman amongst the club/ touring fraternities. This particular model was being refinished in a “Brentwood” orange powder finish significant in so much as the livery in question had to be imported directly from the US…Right, back to the book.