Planet Bong

Arguably the place where our political elite inhabit much of their waking hours while the greater majority of us employ a pragmatic make do n’ mend philosophy, it’s also a fascinating shop in Leamington Spa. The “usual projects” now includes redrafting of short fiction since I can’t stand essentially robust copy languishing in the hard drive. In this instance the resurrection of “Belgian Mix” http://www.63xc.com/michaels/belgianmix.htm, ring fencing a couple of hours daily with a view to satisfactory completion come September’s swansong. Mastering time management- working efficiently by another name is one of the most rewarding and essential freelancer skills. Close of last week, words and paragraphs had begun merging into a homogeneous, almost unintelligible mass, so I left a few, otherwise decent drafts marinating and headed up country to spend some time behind the lens.

Returning recharged, these and other pieces were drummed into shape and despatched to their intended recipients. Crafting pitches can prove similarly exhausting and responses, affirmative or otherwise can be several weeks hence. Glancing over at my test bench, there’s been a tsunami of enticing goodies including this beautifully crafted titanium from Torus Cycles (Justin Burls & Andy Jones).

Ours was the 27.2, 400m version, though its inline version caters for time trialists and others preferring to be poised directly over the bottom bracket shell. 264g is perhaps heavy by carbon standards but machining is exquisite and the wonder material oozes an unmistakable zing across inclement surfaces without feeling remotely whippy. Similarly £125 is hardly small change but there’s no call for planned retirement since 3AL 2.5v is particularly immune to fatigue (excluding incidence of phenomenal abuse).

Do remember those cursory licks of ti prep where it enters the seat tube, not forgetting cradle hardware. Thundering along the lanes under its spell, my serenity was rudely interrupted by a phantom squeak-something I wrongly attributed to the aluminium bolts until discovering my fixer’s crank bolt had mysteriously worked loose. Snugged tight using a leggy T handled 8mm Allen key, said fiend piped up again five miles hence. Introducing the torque wrench and a few extra nm resolved the issue.

Our climate has turned disarmingly autumnal these past few days, coinciding with the receipt of these similarly space age corrosion- inhibiting Protecht brews. The ultimate formula is an extremely powerful one that cures to a dry, clear and seemingly dirt phobic state. Supposedly acid and salt resistant, said qualities are ideally suited for mothballing decorative electroplate, anodised and polished surfaces either in storage or pretty ferrous winter bikes dripping in the stuff. BG innovations (the marque’s UK importer) are suitably tight lipped when broached about composition but suggest its ultra invasive and withstands operating temperatures of +50 degrees. Logical then that I’ve deployed ours within thin walled steel framesets, trailers, tagalongs and of course, the Ka’s notoriously grot prone regions. Initial impressions are extremely favourable, surprisingly economical too but a harsh winter will be more revealing.

Far from a watered down version, the advanced sibling is slightly waxy and arguably more versatile preserve that remains functional at 650 degrees-unsurprising perhaps given both were initially conceived for automotive audiences. Another excellent internal rust inhibitor, commendable on external plated surfaces so long as you weren’t mortified by the steady cultivation of a thin, grimy layer. Unlike Vaseline, electrical connectivity is accentuated without risking subsequent galvanic corrosion, thus ideal for dynamo connectors, computer/blinky battery terminals and similar gizmos directly in scuzzy water’s firing line. Suffice to say that VDO X1DW cadence sensor hasn’t missed a beat even fully submerged for three consecutive miles.

Maldon Shot blasting and powder coating were keen to show me their new range of powder finishes freshly imported from the states-beautiful but with some bizarre, almost mirth inducing monikers. This SE jump frame being a case in point. I’d call it lime green but Trevor tells me its actually “Shocking Yellow” applied atop a chrome effect base coat. Cost implications are around the £110 mark depending on host material and what nasties’ blasting uncovers. Remember those sound but slightly scabby “school chair” forks I’d earmarked for the Univega’s front end? Well, Trevor generously refinished them in a rich gloss black free of charge-a lovely gesture and very welcome just now.

Another Fait Accompli

Well frankly it was, credit card materializing within my fevered fingers as if driven by occult forces. £29.99 lighter and several minutes later, said square taper LX crankset was winging its way here. 

Presently cocooned within bubble wrap, I’m denying child like urges to undertake transplant surgery since the Alivio remains in extremely rude health. Once the existing chain, cassette and late middle-aged LX mech sing their swansongs, I’ll give said tubby workhorse’s Microshift brifters responsibility for an extra sprocket and take advantage of readily available mid range consumables. Besides, time management will be a familiar concept to most freelancers. The ability to escape for a ride, introduce new equipment etc on my own terms is deeply liberating but with such reward comes great responsibility/discipline.

Submitting successive, decent features/book proposals is exhausting, it can take several weeks for their recipients’ response, especially during what’s dubbed “The silly season”. In press parlance this has traditionally referred to freelancers stepping in to fill the boots of more established anchor folk while the world and their offspring are reading trashy airport novels on a beautiful beach somewhere or just mingling at late summer barbecues. For some it’s an ideal opportunity to demonstrate their true potential, though easily leads some people punching above their weight.

I regularly listen to Women’s Hour while slaving over a hoit keyboard, primarily because I find the differing perspectives on a wealth of subjects are delivered with considerable insight and ownership by Jenni Murray/Jan Garvey.Alas, I found myself increasingly irritated by Kirstie Allsopp’s feature exploring women's childbirth choices. Clearly very passionate  she couldn't execute with sufficient authority and the piece felt closer to the standards I'd expect from an A level media studies student than seasoned broadcast journalist. 

More convincing than the recent litigation brought forward by supposedly disillusioned readers of Lance Armstrong’s inspirational works though. I read the first while holidaying in Rome but never really bought into the franchise or fairytale. Suing Armstrong on the grounds of fraudulent misrepresentation strikes me as little more than a deeply cynical means of financial gain and marginally less irksome than a decidedly aggressive young man who ploughed into my  Endura engined Ford Ka back in 2006.

He (successfully I might add) sued me for “hurt feelings”. Against this and a backdrop of increasingly fractious road encounters, I lost no time in renewing my third party cycling cover. Pragmatically, I have little qualm about this since it reinforces the message that bicycles/tandems/recumbents are vehicles with equal rights/responsibilities when navigating the public highway.

Parallels with Armstrong’s case might be somewhat tentative, though illustrate how eager people are, especially in less favourable fiscal circumstance to seek easy financial remuneration.  Negotiating some deeply deprived neighbourhoods on a daily basis for many years left little doubt that people would wantonly stray into my path, seeking damages, spurred on by the relentless barrage of television advertisements.

Collision with a car could also result in the owner/driver seeking financial redress for repairs. Simple and relatively inexpensive cover is often available through clubs/organisations, typically with some sort of legal support. Obviously, this wouldn’t stem the claims culture outlined above but it might go someway to muting disturbingly mainstream assertions that people choosing to use human powered vehicles are reckless reprobates needing institutional help. Sadly, we have it seems, also reverted to an insidious “Asking for it” misogynist mindset-even amongst young women, some of whom would readily identify themselves as feminist. ...

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