In The Buff (Beware The Ides of March)

I am of course referring to the Uber versatile microfibre Coolmax polyester multifunctional headwear, not some subversive form of racing or lewd, “hacked” images supposedly compromising some Z list zombie.

This clever little do-rag has been with us in ever evolving guises since 1992 and can be worn in a variety of fashions-from the classic Marco Pantani "pirate" or Robert Shaw “bind your skull together” bandanas to flowing Lawrence of Arabia/ French foreign legion fashion to hide helmet hair or indeed protect against sun/heatstroke. This season’s fibres have been tweaked to block 95% of UV rays, while providing even greater odour control, courtesy of a silver yarn (if it works well in short inserts then it’ll do its thing pretty much anywhere!).

They’ve also added a nifty neoprene visor to proceedings, which doesn’t detract from the garments classic ‘stuff in a jersey simplicity and works rather well beneath classic road shaped helmets, sheltering eyes from the sun’s glare and winter’s wrath. Talk of the devil. He’s been making a swift; callus return following a few days’ bright spring-like conditions and local authority/highways agencies have been gritting fervently too, so I expect to see well dressed winter dobbins plodding on obediently for several weeks yet. 

Chrome is a slippery customer, quite popular on older steel trainers but contrary to popular opinion, extremely vulnerable to winter’s worst. Assuming you didn’t want the stained, distressed look or the hassle of regular waxing, a decent finisher could preserve forks under a durable powder coat lacquer (two-pac would be a good choice if you weren’t assured of the electroplates’ pedigree).

£10 upwards is a guide price, assuming no other prep’s required. DIY acrylic stuff works well enough on small areas such as carrier stays but simple economics says outsourcing is the best option- it’ll be applied in a sterile environment and won’t wrinkle, peel or yellow over time. I was recently writing a magazine feature about winter riding in its most holistic sense and had cause to query Justin (Burls) re Old faithfuls’ present spec, since it’s in many respects the archetypal winter trainer. Aside from this and friendly, generic catch ups, he happened to mention some very exciting titanium stuff on the brew, including forks- more about this when I’ve seen them in the flesh. 

Spring remains a busy time for builds n’ makeovers. However, there’s no shortage of Stetson wearing lassoers jumping on the specialist finisher/ powder coating bandwagon. Take this 6061 Cross-country MTB frameset with fresh polar white livery- cursory inspection suggests bubbles have formed during liquefaction in the curing oven-a particularly common but easily corrected fault that occurs among non ferrous metals. However, in this instance, overly aggressive application of/blast media has blown holes through the thin walled tubing. Prep elsewhere is equally slapdash-choked bottom bracket threads and head tube over spray is inexcusable, even by job lot standards.

Maybe its coincidence but there seems more riders than usual on the roads this past week or so, which is always heartening and raises issues of greeting etiquette. Notions of us all being “one big club” are perhaps, somewhat naïve-why should we wave inanely at perfect strangers. However, a reciprocal nod or similar acknowledgement is nice. 

Spain was passionately pro cyclist at one point but a new set of draconian legislation has been rolled out in their parliament. This might sound of little consequence to the UK were it not for the sudden emergence of fringe, single issue groups capitalising on voter indifference, or resentment towards mainstream, established parties. Little is known about their underlying agendas/ beliefs and what this means for a nation and its people…I for one am very perturbed. Cycling could then be banned from public roads, passed through on inaccurate road tax rhetoric; the national minimum wage could be circumnavigated or indeed abolished by use of unpaid internships to name but a few sinister scenarios. 

Ending on a more cheerful note, I’ve been recycling an old set of well travelled Schwalbe; most notably turning them into these voluptuous mud flaps. Cutting through the casings and to size was a doddle once I’d sawn through the folding Kevlar beads-sturdy kitchen scissors did the trimming. Mudguard mounting proved strangely convoluted though. I’d hoped to drill through the chrome plastic before pop riveting the flap in situ but those tough carcasses proved too thick. Eventually I bolted them aboard with stainless steel hardware and 10mm nut, trimming the former with croppers and filing flat. Being brutally honest, shop bought would’ve been more cost effective but there’s something deeply satisfying about making bespoke stuff from reclaimed scrap.