Ben Hur

 Life is continuously changing, evolving and thus we must adapt, accordingly. Bike Journalism/Kit testing aside, I am a fettler. My two-wheeled fleet is, to some extent always evolving. Not for change’s sake, or to fill a void in my life, rather ‘cos stuff wears out, or in some instances, breaks.

On other occasions, I ruminate on something, explore a few options, THEN decide on the solution(s). This avoids consumption of resources. Money, time, energy/labour and of course, storage.

To some extent, bikes are like relationships, as we mature and (hopefully) gain greater self-awareness, we understand what works for us. I am deeply attached to the Holdsworth and Teenage Dream. However, for general, everyday riding, something with ‘cross type geometry, clearances and indeed, big tyres, is my preference.

Life and people are here to teach us lessons, it is up to us, whether we heed, and learn from them. There are a wealth of people/personalities I navigate on a professional and personal basis. I am pleasantly indifferent to most, deeply attached to a few. There are people with enormous amounts to offer, but nothing good/right for me.

Another narrative, which has endured from my teens, is user-serviceability. Anything I own must be relatively straightforward to maintain properly, and to the highest standards. This also goes for cars, and motorcycles. Back then, the ability to braze/frame build was high on the list.

However, opportunity/finances never presented, and I’ve long recognised it’s a skill best outsourced to those with years of experience. I like welding. A semi-commercial MIG welder capable of taking commercial Argon/CO2 cylinders would be a sensible investment for light fabrication, repair etc.

Fully equipped workshops with TIG welders. Oxyacetylene, Jigs etc are not. A week’s frame building course, does not a master craftsperson, make “Building by numbers” is one thing, being able to problem solve and deliver impeccable results is something entirely different.

To paraphrase my late Grandfather (40 years welding experience, 6year apprentice trained) “Any fool can blast metal together. Making something stick, and moreover behave according to draft, is something entirely different.”  

I do share his somewhat surly and difficult charm, although would like to think I’m more moderate, dare I say agreeable, overall. Contexts established, I leave frame building/modification/repair to the likes of Lee Cooper, and Maldon Shot Blasting & Powder Coating. https://www.sevendaycyclist.com/gravel-bike-on-a-budget 

So, with all this in mind. I was overtaken by one of THOSE urges. Pandora’s box sprung open and with it, the yearning for Titanium…Forks. Yes, for Ursula…Not that there’s anything particularly wrong with the existing “school chair” setup, with its beefy legs.

That said; they were aimed at the “Jump” market, so there’s a weight penalty, relative to the original triple butted uncrown, or something like Kona’s iconic Project II. A Chinese manufacturer got in touch, offering me a set with disc, cantilever and mudguard eyelets. £450 was an absolute deal-breaker. If something comes along, at the right price and specification, I’ll take a closer look.  

Elsewhere, I’ve resurrected my Revolution Cargo Trailer (Bob Yak homage) from hibernation. Its primarily been used, not for shopping/utilitarian purposes, but rather assessing the laden handling prowess of test bikes. It needed a good polish, which proved the perfect opportunity to test this Muc-Off Cherry Pop Silicone shine (I also took this opportunity to treat the Univega).

Silicones certainly add shine-especially to plastics. They also add lubricant to polymers/rubberised components, which is good for suspension components. However, unless used sparingly, silicones can also prove dirt traps. To assess this, I delivered ours directly to the trailer chassis, tourer via micro-fibre cloth.

For the time being, said trailer can follow behind my beloved tubby tourer, hauling various weights, to scrutinise gearing more critically-now the honeymoon period’s done. I have a few minor niggles with the Yak homage.

Firstly, the finish isn’t particularly good. Its not poor, rather softer than I’d expect. Once it gets tatty, I’ll get it blasted and powder coated. Similarly, though the wheel is identified as being 16x1.75, offer a branded slick/road version against it, and, nope.

Since its functional enough, I’ve decided to whip out the valve core and introduce some latex type, puncture sealing splooge. Aside from the obvious, I needed to use it up, and this seemed the obvious candidate.

Letting the bike do the lugging, is a golden rule of touring and longer commutes. https://www.sevendaycyclist.com/tug-jobs However, depending on your payload, for shorter hauls, rider mounted luggage can be a boon, especially filtering through tighter gaps in traffic. Well-made messenger bags are old boots tough, (usually) weatherproof and ooze cool. Little surprise they’re so popular.

Statistically, many car journeys are less than 2.5 miles. Between this and 5 miles or so, messenger bags have a ln their favour. My Chrome Industries (model) is still serving me well, and Steve’s been putting this Chrome Modal Vale Sling Bag through its paces  https://www.sevendaycyclist.com/chrome  .

He’s been similarly impressed with this Carradice Kelbrook Satchel, which is made here, in the UK  https://www.sevendaycyclist.com/carradice-kelbrook-satchel

The Sludge That Would Not Budge!

Several weeks’ almost daily service in suspiciously wintry conditions saw the Univega’s usually hygienic drivetrain assume that thick, sludgy ruinous paste. Pressure of deadlines has meant post ride wash and rises to prevent the salt monster moving in on the tubby tourer’s livery and brightwork but leaving an extremely tenacious synthetic wet chain prep  unsupervised had invited the wrong crowd.

Green oil’s range is amongst the best lubes and cleaning potions I’ve come across-easily on par with petrochemicals but without toxins or noxious synthetic odours. Budgeting for an intensive twenty-minute race around, I’d hoisted my beloved workhorse aloft the workstand and nipped to the garage for degreaser concentrate, bike wash, long handled wooden bicycle brush and bucket of nigh on boiling water. Emerging triumphant, things were progressing nicely as I dunked bristles in bucket, introduced some concentrate and breezed round the crankset akin to a blue bottle on speed, bringing the potent citrus potion to a very satisfying barbers’ lather.

Left to fizz, I drizzled some further concentrate from a smaller, pocket friendly container into the chain links and outer plates, contaminating the cassette by shifting in both directions along the block. Confident of good progress, I immersed said brush and tickled the chain rings. Arguably cleaner (and doubtless acceptable under normal, everyday circumstances) things still looked a little feted, so I repeated the initial treatment but with little improvement.  

Time management dictated recourse to petrochemicals, in this instance unleaded petrol applied using a T shirt from he clean rag pile (never leave those contaminated with solvents bunched together, or you’ll run the risk of them spontaneously combusting-especially during summer). Something of a mechanic’s standby and more aggressive than leaded stuff, so reluctantly eradicated on these shores (because lacing with the heavy, poisonous metal meant additional lubricant, thus car manufacturers could use cheaper materials for valve seats/related engine components) the presence of benzene and xylene still presents some very real health implications. 

To my dismay, Tosco’s finest 95octane proved impotent against this vile residue, calling for removal and intensive parts washer marinate. Having located 8mm Allen key and wound the crank bolt free, it was time to introduce my faithful Sugino extractor tool, only it had inexplicably seized solid (!) Firing some penetrative spray at point blank range, wrestling them apart using two 17mm ring spanners solved this and with it, expedient removal of cranks from tapers. 

   

In full evangelist mode, I decanted the now tepid water from the bucket and added fresh concentrate, mixed with white vinegar for additional bite.

Some five minutes later sleet began descending from the skies so I relocated to the kitchen. Flicking on the radio brought chancellor George Osborne’s  carefully crafted, rousing budget speech peppered with expertly delivered empty  clichéd rhetoric, designed to whip Essex man and Worcester woman into an orgasmic frenzy. “Aspiration nation” and “hard working families” being this year’s slogans; although there seems little coherent strategy save for remaining in power and hoping a boom in new build housing with state underwritten mortgages will bolster morale’ and prove the antidote to a seemingly flat-lining “zombie” economy.

Nonetheless, well channelled anger can be power and five minutes frenetic scrubbing later, my cranks emerged suitably pristine. I took the opportunity of removing some congealed gunge from the bottom bracket’s splined interface, wiped the taper and sped the arms home again… Lessons have been learned.