Navigating The Maddening Crowd

With lockdown long since imploding and societal angst seemingly accelerating several notches, I’ve resumed a state of hyper-vigilance on the roads-on two wheels and four. No sooner had the old Scott shoes imploded and I switched to the legendary Quoc Pham Tourer, my kettle followed suit.

  

Thankfully, I found a passable spare, while waiting for this red replacement to materialise.. Bob Elliot & Co graciously sent me some of their own brand tooling and these FLR Rexston Active Touring Trail shoes.  

The latter are a wallet-friendly design with a seemingly rugged synthetic upper with lace and a Velcro closure to keep the former neatly tamed and out of the transmission. Glossy synthetic uppers should prove easier to clean and are a much better bet than Cordura Nylon types traditionally used on street-styled trainer types.  

Mesh vents will hopefully permit a cooling free flow of air. The sole is reinforced nylon- what 

I’d expect from a trail/tour type model and moreover, this price point. Formative impressions suggest they’ve less rigidity than the Quoc Pham, but it will be interesting to see how they’ll compare with these Triban, in terms of power transfer.  

They’ll be my default, riding the Univega, the Quoc Pham, on the fixed. I’ve added a fresh set of cleats too since the only free set were Wellgo, which now seem incompatible with contemporary Shimano (although Shimano work just fine with Wellgo).  Here’s an overview, if you’re new to riding and considering going clipless https://www.sevendaycyclist.com/stepping-in-a-guide-to-going-cliple    

Was rather surprised to discover the Univega’s rear Continental Contact Reflex Tyre pancake flat. Whipping the tune out revealed a very tiny puncture wound. Nowhere near the valve, or seam, so easily patched and back in the wedge pack.  

I took this opportunity to clean the bikes’ rear triangle, using the Tru Tension Cycle Snow Foam, nip the mudguard’s chainstay bridge bolt tight and feed some Muc Off tyre sealant inside the tube. This also served to cement just how clean the Tru Tension Banana slip Tungsten All Weather Lube is to touch.  

Yes, its tacky but there’s been no annoying transfer to hands and consequently everything they encounter.   Its wet counterpart also continues to impress me on the friction and cleanliness fronts Now, long term life with the Acros Silicone Bar Wrap is also very favourable and the wrap seems very durable.  

However, the matt, embossed texture means that grimy patina, say following some fettling and indeed a roadside mechanical. It responds very well to machine washing but that’s not always convenient, let alone desirable. Sudsy bucket solutions and medium-stiff brushes will dismiss the worst of oily petrochemical spatter but still looks jaded. Enter the Tru Tension Monkey Juice Gel Bike Cleaner.  

Aside from the slightly synthetic banana odour and colour, the gel is designed to cling to the surface, thus giving the chemicals longer to break the grime down, on a molecular level. 3minute recommended standing times are also longer than the blow n’ go blends, although not unheard of. Thus far, given a medium-stiff bristle tickling, two minutes in, dirt and grime fell away, come the first warm water rinse.          

Elsewhere I’ve had to employ some lateral thought and these Topeak gizmos to attach this rather fetching Apidura Racing Bolt-On Top Tube Pack. One of my minor bugbears with traditional top tube/frame bags, is their tendency to rotate and leave “tan lines” in the lacquer/paintwork. Bolting to the frame is the obvious means of swerving this issue. However, my fixed gear winter/trainer (nor any of my fleet, for that matter) isn’t blessed with this feature...

  

Therefore, after a few minutes lateral thought I decided a modern composite band on interface would subvert this issue. Hence, I opted for another set of the Topeak Versa mount, which will comfortably handle the payloads involved.   

Baring All aka “The Baboon”

Here now comes the cautionary tale of becoming overly attached to aging Lycra- you know, those old faithfuls plucked from a shop’s sales bin for £10 or less that have soldiered on stoically for a decade or so. Slowly but surely the buttock region has become progressively thinner, there’s some obvious tell-tale fraying around the insert but otherwise, they’re socially acceptable...

Crashes aside, the humble polyester/elastane mix has few natural enemies and literally recedes by stealth. Thundering along the lanes late one night, headful of ideas turning me every which way but loose, I was suddenly conscious of an unusually ambient air coursing around the buttock region. Far from uncomfortable, this agreeable cooling sensation coincided with traffic gliding past serenely at a greater distance than usual for this locale.

Catching sight of one’s derriere’, the reason for this newfound curiosity became brutally apparent- those fibres had worn perilously thin, leaving little to the imagination. Mercifully, bricklaying gangs had left their lintels earlier; otherwise the procession of hoots, jeers and Dagenham smiles would’ve made matters all the more difficult to ignore. Conversely, I was disappointed not to encounter “Colnago man”; a relatively local rider who refuses to acknowledge others, even by way of a discrete nod. 

While relatively courteous, I’m not the most welcoming of figures and don’t generally appreciate folk cruising alongside uninvited for a chat but wilfully ignoring someone who has bid you good morning/afternoon/evening is pretty ignorant. 

The politics of pleasantries have become increasingly complex too if forums are any barometer. Some folks taking great offence (an affront to their masculinity perhaps) at being overtaken by a faster rider unleashing a cheery “Hello”; Personally, I’m only mildly irked if someone has cut me up, or done so to make a point/for effect. Often I’ll whizz past on the following climbs, or laugh hard as a tandem blows them into those proverbial weeds, showing clean heels n’ chrome plastics. 

More changeable conditions i.e. pelted with hail stones the size of sugar cubes ricocheting from my Ilpompino’s top tube certainly brings waterproof jackets to the fore. However, until recently and with the exception of some eVent models, choice was between three seasons’ training models or the classic “Condom” cape synonymous with late 80’s massed start road racing. Admittedly these offered some protection from biblical stuff but left one feeling decidedly boiled-in the-bag after twenty minutes or so.

Micro types which fold much smaller and whose technical fibres facilitate a reasonably comfortable, hygienic inner climate have become increasingly affordable. Dhb Cosmo is a case in point. Subtle (rather than dull or wall-flowerish) colour schemes, gender specific cuts and rugged, “racing snakes” polyamide fabric has come to my rescue on several recent outings. These have been spent evaluating the durability and cleanliness of several different 

chain preps, not to mention some very fancy material specific cleaners and polishes.

The latter supposedly locks in a blemish-free lustre for several weeks following a single application. So far, so good on titanium/carbon composites, though I’m very curious to discover more of their precise chemical makeup. Better quality polymer based, composite friendly waxes promise similar performance and thus, the coming weeks could present some unexpected findings.     

Now…Can anyone guess the identity of this frameset that’s just arrived at the doors of Maldon Shot Blasting & Powder Coating?