Showing posts with label riding etiquette. Show all posts
Showing posts with label riding etiquette. Show all posts

Thursday 29 May 2014

Baring All aka “The Baboon”








Here now comes the cautionary tale of becoming overly attached to aging Lycra- you know, those old faithfuls plucked from a shop’s sales bin for £10 or less that have soldiered on stoically for a decade or so. Slowly but surely the buttock region has become progressively thinner, there’s some obvious tell-tale fraying around the insert but otherwise, they’re socially acceptable...

Crashes aside, the humble polyester/elastane mix has few natural enemies and literally recedes by stealth. Thundering along the lanes late one night, headful of ideas turning me every which way but loose, I was suddenly conscious of an unusually ambient air coursing around the buttock region. Far from uncomfortable, this agreeable cooling sensation coincided with traffic gliding past serenely at a greater distance than usual for this locale.

Catching sight of one’s derriere’, the reason for this newfound curiosity became brutally apparent- those fibres had worn perilously thin, leaving little to the imagination. Mercifully, bricklaying gangs had left their lintels earlier; otherwise the procession of hoots, jeers and Dagenham smiles would’ve made matters all the more difficult to ignore. Conversely, I was disappointed not to encounter “Colnago man”; a relatively local rider who refuses to acknowledge others, even by way of a discrete nod. 

While relatively courteous, I’m not the most welcoming of figures and don’t generally appreciate folk cruising alongside uninvited for a chat but wilfully ignoring someone who has bid you good morning/afternoon/evening is pretty ignorant. 

The politics of pleasantries have become increasingly complex too if forums are any barometer. Some folks taking great offence (an affront to their masculinity perhaps) at being overtaken by a faster rider unleashing a cheery “Hello”; Personally, I’m only mildly irked if someone has cut me up, or done so to make a point/for effect. Often I’ll whizz past on the following climbs, or laugh hard as a tandem blows them into those proverbial weeds, showing clean heels n’ chrome plastics. 

More changeable conditions i.e. pelted with hail stones the size of sugar cubes ricocheting from my Ilpompino’s top tube certainly brings waterproof jackets to the fore. However, until recently and with the exception of some eVent models, choice was between three seasons’ training models or the classic “Condom” cape synonymous with late 80’s massed start road racing. Admittedly these offered some protection from biblical stuff but left one feeling decidedly boiled-in the-bag after twenty minutes or so.

Micro types which fold much smaller and whose technical fibres facilitate a reasonably comfortable, hygienic inner climate have become increasingly affordable. Dhb Cosmo is a case in point. Subtle (rather than dull or wall-flowerish) colour schemes, gender specific cuts and rugged, “racing snakes” polyamide fabric has come to my rescue on several recent outings. These have been spent evaluating the durability and cleanliness of several different 
chain preps, not to mention some very fancy material specific cleaners and polishes.

The latter supposedly locks in a blemish-free lustre for several weeks following a single application. So far, so good on titanium/carbon composites, though I’m very curious to discover more of their precise chemical makeup. Better quality polymer based, composite friendly waxes promise similar performance and thus, the coming weeks could present some unexpected findings.     


Now…Can anyone guess the identity of this frameset that’s just arrived at the doors of Maldon Shot Blasting & Powder Coating?