Cabinet re-shuffle

Coinciding with the arrival of some seasonal snow and freezing temperatures came this little brass bell. Mandatory on all new bikes sold on these shores, I’ve always been of the opinion that a well-timed greeting is more effective and OEM equipment on most human beings. However, this one is extremely discrete and the genuine brass (as distinct from lacquered/anodised aluminium) delivers a more convincing sound. A simple adjustable strap secured by a cross head screw embraces most handlebar diameters very nicely so I opted to mount ours just inboard of the Univega’s Ultegra bar cons.

A deft, split-second flick of one’s thumb rewards with a surprisingly audible ping-great for quiet back lanes and mingling in close proximity with pedestrians but not a lot of use against a symphony of pneumatic drills, motorised traffic and similar noise pollution endemic to busy town centres.

Will Meister has gently asked for the return of his Kontact saddle so we've reverted to the similarly high tech carbon railed Selle Italia Turbomatic. I generally revel in the comfort of cutaways but several wet weather outings aboard Izzie reminded me that full-length mudguards (Fenders) are mandatory if a cold, soggy crotch/posterior is to be avoided.

Who loves ya baby? Sorry, couldn’t resist… After several weeks’ deliberation, I’ve bitten the bullet and breezed these Schwalbe Kojak aboard the Ilpompino’s hoops.

Filling those cross-inspired clearances gives a tidier effect, while ensuring smoother passage over erratically maintained roads. In my experience, the Kojak casings are more vulnerable to thorns and similar sharps compared with some so I’ve gone all belt and braces, fitting super dependable Kenda thorn-resistant tubes.

On a roll, I tidied the cockpit, removing the long redundant nylon handlebar bag mount, freeing up sufficient room for this cutesy baby blue Knog Nerd 5. Bringing the brands 50 lumen blinkey against the stem clamp for sharper aesthetics.

Sudden onset of sabre-tooth man-flu aside, serious outings haven’t been realistic due to icy roads and the fact those otherwise superb Continental studded tyres with 42mm casings are a non starter on the Ilpompino. On-One reckon 38mm is as big as the frame will accommodate and judging by the Schwalbe, I’m inclined to agree. That said; I’d be interested to hear from anyone with an IRO Rob Roy who’s managed this particular feat.

However, the Continentals work just dandy on ultra modern disc only cross and expedition tourers so long as you had super wide section fenders, or were prepared to forgo them altogether. Seeing as snow and Ice appears to be a seasonal regularity, I might add a set of 1.9s to the Univega’s wardrobe.

Snow-specific tyres are very much a niche product and priced accordingly but those I’ve used both on bicycles an motorcycles seem to work very well indeed. True, their additional weight means they’re a little more ponderous (like you’re going to mind, negotiating road/trails resembling skating rinks!) and pride can still come before a fall-turning a wheel in anger when entering snow covered roundabouts and junctions can result in slippage, or indeed a most undignified face-plant. However, employing a smooth, steady cadence, you’ll stand a sporting chance of remaining upright and smiling.


Received several requests for “Port-folio” work of late- businesses looking to exploit the poor economic conditions to their advantage. Every so often, I might slip something to a charitable organisation so long as I am credited accordingly but unless there’s some tangible economic reward, such requests are scooped into the spam. Old school barter is something entirely different and increasingly prevalent in situations where accepting cash doesn’t solve the problem at hand. A friend recently sorted my temperamental central heating in exchange for some family portrait photography. He wielded the spanners, I got behind the lens. My house is warm, his has some new photos-simple.

Last Tuesday was another case in point. Having finished work at a neighbours’ house, our cleaner knocked at the door needing help-she’d succumbed to a rear wheel flat and didn’t know where to begin. Bottom line, a new tyre and thorn resistant tube saw her bimbling home. Sure, I actively discourage people turning up and looking for a freebie but we pay her fairly and she reciprocates so declining to help would’ve been extremely churlish. Then there are others who just help themselves...

My sister often pops in to pass out after a hard night on the giggle juice. Most mark an end to a night's excess by savouring a Kebab or similar delicacy while stood in the taxi queue but I found her trying to toast bodyform towels in the comfort of my kitchen (!)

On that note, I’m off to test this not so little box of Muc -Off goodies.

Snow Joke!

Snow is big news here in the UK, although to be fair, the last few winters have been quite dramatic as a result. The much promised white-out finally hit this corner of the South East on Monday night/ early hours of Tuesday morning. Frustrated by a lack of creativity and working on the basis conditions would be fine so long I took it gently; Univega and I popped out to test some kit and chase the blues away. Once we'd negotiated the lanes, main roads seemed relatively clear so I increased the tempo to 14mph monitoring every tyre rotation for sheet ice and anything else that might result in an intimate encounter with Terra firma. Deserted backwaters are always a bad bet and quickly present a false sense of security. Two and a quarter miles into our twelve mile saunter, Mother Nature reminded me of her unyielding superiority. Negotiating a slippery section, I un-clipped my left foot and was paddling through when the otherwise exemplary Schwalbe lost traction- attempts to counteract the inevitable proved futile. Miraculously, I caught the bike's fall so, completely unscathed, we continued and ultimately finished the excursion as planned. Ironic then that these Continental Nordic Spike 120 should arrive the next day. As the name suggests, these are an extreme conditions tyre designed to cope with ice, snow, sleet and slush. Available in 700c, their 42mm profiles can present compatibility hassles with more traditional 'cross, touring and hybrids while 900g a piece might seem unpalatable to some but with notable exception, they're the safest tyres for treacherous roads and indeed trails. Bearing striking resemblance to the archetypal cross country mountain bike tyre, the open tread ploughs through the snow while 120 steel studs provide the traction, biting deep into the ice beneath. Phenomenal braking and cornering prowess along with ultra dependable three-ply casings inspire confidence and speeds of around fifteen mph, although sharp acceleration-say entering a roundabout can induce momentary losses of grip. Given the level of performance, £80 for a pair is money well spent-especially those of us employed on a "Don't work, don't eat" contract basis who can ill afford time off and a crash damaged steed into the bargain. Being critical, reflective sidewalls would've been a nice touch and I'd love a 26 inch (MTB) version!
Markedly cheaper performance upgrades are these pro series cantilever pads from Jagwire that offer plenty of smiles per mile at £10 for a complete set. To my surprise, they're compatible with all rim types from polished alloy to ceramic and carbon exotica, toeing-In's a cinch and (decent cables allowing) will transform the modulation and feel of older designs (e.g. mid nineties Shimano M system) employing 7mm threaded stubs. Better still, the secret formula all-conditions compounds are cartridges so simply slip out of their shoes with the help of a two millimetre Allen key should you fancy something less generic. Whether a Christmas treat for the working bike or a stocking filler "thank you" to someone special, it's hard to see where you'd go wrong.

Reasoning a top mounted axillary lever might facilitate greater control, enhancing our centre of gravity when scrubbing off the speed in inclement conditions, I offered this rather befitting Specialized model to the bars. Ball burnished satin, black, 31.8 diameter complete with hinged clamp it was the perfect, unobtrusive cockpit compliment... However, said lever scampered back to the spares drawer once it became apparent the WTB are only over size at the bulge diameter.Inviting the tubby tourer into the kitchen for a well-earned polish presented the obvious opportunity to fit this very fetching pink wrap. (Being a test sample, you takes pot luck) but the macho boys will be relieved to hear there's a choice of several primary colours too. Teasing aside, it's remarkably generous and very compliant, winding elegantly around the most extreme drops- perfect for those Midge/ Major Taylor's. Often, less expensive wraps are let down by poor adhesives but these sit just where they're put yet remain tolerant of surreptitious unravelling. First impressions seem favourable but long, steady winter miles are key-especially when it comes to such a pale hue. Now, I'm looking for a nail varnish to match the frame's metallic red... there's this small but infuriating nick along the top tube......