Rise of the Machines

For some years, I have felt like a humanoid. I can be relied upon to perform very complicated tasks and processes with the ability to adapt to fast-changing situations, environments. Different to the “Robot Welders” anonymous, hydraulic arms work tirelessly spot-welding car bodies on assembly lines (while their human counterparts become robots for 9hrs 37minutes of ten-hour shifts).  

I read people very well and possess sufficient social skills to avert unwelcome introspection but often, I’m going through the motions and feel distinctly alienated. I’m probably my most open during photoshoots and some years back, motor/cycle touring.  

Weaving through the lanes, I often wonder if we are going to reach a stage where that cyborgs will become a prominent group-an organic/mechanical hybrid.  

The technology has existed for some time and it’s not unreasonable to think, given the increasing uses of prosthetic technology, that people could be “rebuilt” following accidents.  

I can also envisage a time where we have fully synthetic humanoids employed to undertake dangerous, labour intensive or potentially monotonous jobs-rather akin to the replicants in Ridley Scott’s original (1982) Blade Runner https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_9rhPDLHWk . A film that explores these issues and other constructs, including the narrative of intimate relationships forming between the replicant and human. 

Since we’re on this winding road, I was clearing out the loft and found some genuinely useful stuff, hidden treasures you might say and others that transported me back to childhood and a path towards a very technical, well-paid but dangerous career. At various points in my life, although most notably that crossroads between A level and higher education. Diver. As a child, what might be termed “The romance of the sea” applied There were various routes in. 

 

Commercial was the most exciting but arguably the most dangerous and requiring other sources of income, since there can be several months without commercial work. The Bends (decompression sickness) getting trapped within wreckage and explosions being three very real threats. Joining the police and taking that route was another, less glamorous and arguably more secure, though less exciting route. However, becoming a Police officer held little, save for instrumental, appeal.  

Hence, I took the academic route and pursued other interests/qualifications in parallel. So, the purpose of this indulgent meander? There is often much more to people than meets the eye. Cycling and other things are major passions of mine, ones which shape my perspectives and relationship with the wider world. However, they do not define me. So, these treasures... 

I was delighted to unearth this Cro-moly Soma Crane Stem. It's designed to offer a sympathetically classic look to steel framesets using Aheadsets. The length is closer to that of the quill stem and negates the need for piles of spacers. I’ve always been indifferent to spacers per se and regard them as “coming with the territory” but the ability to forgo most of them certainly appeals.   

I was contemplating retiring the Univega’s KMC chain this week, when it made the decision for me. While I was accelerating along the high street a sudden snap and tinkling followed by a pronounced lack of drive. Having coated to a safe spot, I inspected the damage and coasted home.  

Upon returning, I discovered the chain’s implosion had taken a chunk from the Microshift Centos rear mech. Into the drivetrain box we go, new chain and this Sun Race NRX 10speed rear mech from 2009. The joys of New Old Stock. This is also a notch or so higher than the Microshift Centos, featuring sealed jockey wheels.  

I’ve begun finding some minor limitations with the Continental Contact Speed Reflex. 2000 miles in, the supple, grippy and ultimately fast compound seem more susceptible to sharps. These seem to be striking around the shoulder, rather than centre strip and I’m slowly coming to the idea of running tubes with sealant-I.e. filling standard butyl with aftermarket sealant kit. 

 

The Muc-Off Puncture sealant seems to work very well but I also have some SKS sealant doing something close to nothing. Some consensus suggests the Continental are good for 3500 (rear) and 5,000 up front so we’ll see. Be interesting to see how a similar model, such as Schwalbe’s long-running Kojak fares in comparison. In the meantime, here’s an overview of tyres for commuting and everyday riding  https://www.sevendaycyclist.com/rubber-fetish-talking-tyres  While not as “invulnerable” on paper, as Schwalbe Marathon GT https://www.sevendaycyclist.com/schwalbe-marathon-gt-tyres  and Marathon Plus https://www.sevendaycyclist.com/schwalbe-marathon-plus-tyres 

The Kenda Kwick Journey KS Plus tyres continue to bowl along without missing a beat and roll much faster than their specification would suggest, so shaping up as an excellent everyday tyre, for general riding.  

The darker months call for durability but without sacrificing to much zing-the sort that makes bikes and riders feel alive.  I’ve switched to Muc-Off E-Bike Wet Weather Ceramic Lube on the fixed, so I can see how that really holds up, long term, now autumn and cooler, damper conditions are creeping ever closer. Here’s my interim review of the Muc-Off –50 degree chain lube https://www.sevendaycyclist.com/muc-off-50   

 

Dropping down to Dovercourt

Easter was once a time when folk would heed the call to Church, feasting and prayer. Now, the masses descend upon DIY stores in their millions, partaking in an orgy of frenzied bodging-whether painting the spare room, erecting pagodas, paths and patios or attempting full-on domestic re-wires. Accident/Emergency receptions brim with hapless heroes, who’ve discovered the human body is a mightily efficient conductor of electricity, dropped paving slabs on their sneakered feet or nailed themselves to the flat pack furniture they were trying so desperately to erect. Joshua and I took the opportunity to drop by on Justin Burls and take a sneak peak at those lovely fillet brazed prototype framesets I mentioned a while back. Both are fashioned from a lovely Columbus tubeset topped off in either electric blue or rich, ruby red. Construction is, as might be expected, flawless-evidenced by this road fixer chassis finished in a clear lacquer topcoat, that will no doubt catch on amongst the fixer fashionista. Timing (Justin had just returned from the Bespoke Bristol show) and the weather conspired against a preliminary spin but for now I’ll tease you with a few photos….
My own fleet continues to evolve, courtesy the Ilpompino's new S-Link chain and a very swish locking seatpost collar for the Univega. Now, the latter are built to order from aerospace grade titanium by Atomic 22- a small-scale manufacturer based in Horsham, West Sussex. This kit is unique, not only in terms of materials but in that they can produce locking fasteners for pretty much every component on your bike, whether road, fixed or mountain bike, brifters, brake mounts, pedals, derailleurs, crank bolts, you name it, they can protect it. Fitting is best performed using a good quality torque wrench and 8mm socket but a ring spanner will also do the trick, since most of us don’t pop torque wrenches in with the patch kit when heading out for a quick twenty-mile blast.
Early impressions are good, although I’ve had an attack of the vapours on several occasions, trying desperately to reclaim the tiny unique key from beneath the fridge/freezer. Obviously replacements are available (£30 each) and much easier to obtain since keys are automatically registered to the rightful owner at the time of order. Presently, they’re looking to employ alternative metals without compromising strength, thus lowering the cost and broadening appeal. However, it’s no substitute for a decent lock, insurance and similarly sensible precautions since a truly frustrated Neanderthal could wrap your pride and joy around some street furniture…

Theft, particularly of metals and central heating fuels is becoming endemic and almost normalised by the present economic climate but I find these rationale's a very convenient justification for wantonly criminal behaviour. A friend’s storage barn was recently ransacked of copper piping and similar raw materials associated with his plumbing and heating business. Subsequently, he spent a day making effective repair and relocating a project car and essential tooling for fear of subsequent visitation. A happier re-homing came for my faithful Specialized Air Tool track pump; this now resides with my mother and her partner’s bikes. I had a choice of two replacements, including this super sturdy twin barrel Zefal, albeit with defunct pressure gauge.
Back in the saddle and there’s been lots to play with. That BBB chain and cassette seem to be wonderful bedfellows with the Univega’s a’la Carte drivetrain, not so much as missing a shift in four hundred miles. Quality of electroplating appears equally impressive and the factory marinade tenacious for the first two hundred but I’ve since reverted to a wax based dressing. Then came these aptly named Knog Blinder, which belt out a whopping eighty and forty-four lumens respectively. Gone is the iconic medical silicone in favour of anodised aluminium faces and a choice of five funky lighting patterns.
We’ve got the standard “dice” but noughts; crosses, stripes and arrows are the alternatives. Tipping the scales at thirty-five grams a piece, they’re hardly going to cramp the style of even the sleekest of road/fixers either. Performance seems generally impressive, visible in the "bobby-dodger" see-by sense to around 750 metres and rechargeable run times between two hours fifty three and 78.47 hours in top and eco-flash settings respectively. Overall, aside from the slightly swanky price tag, I’m genuinely very impressed and the quality has been tweaked a notch or so higher than the otherwise loveable silicone types too…Back to the book…




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Snap, Crackle and Things Kept Going Pop

There’s certainly some truth in the old adage of things coming in multiples, good and bad in my experience. Bustling along the back roads late last Wednesday night, aboard the Univega and looking forward to watching Channel 4’s “ The family” (a weekly fly-on the wall docu-soap); things were looking good, fifteen minutes clear- I’d be home in eight. Turning a cadence of around 95rpm, there was a sudden snap, followed by a feeling of disconnection as my mind worked furiously trying to comprehend the severed chain and locked transmission, man and machine hurtling towards Terra firma.

Mercifully, the universe was feeling relatively charitable; presenting a well-padded ditch that cushioned both collarbone and beloved machine from harm. Clear skies saw the temperature plummet and with a severed chain beyond repair, I ran the remaining five miles leading the beefy tourer by its stem. Light bruising-mainly to my ego and a fresh chain later the world was indeed round and true once more but it could’ve been so different.

Further fun and games were presented courtesy of the Ka. 120 miles from home and a sensation suggesting a faulty alternator demanded concentration, steady revs and will power complete the circular journey. A final mile from my home, I slid the stricken beast into the yard of a friendly local garage, leaving a note and keys through their office door. Walking the last leg through quiet, deserted streets was blessed relief after 87 miles of being shaken like a Mcflurry. Despite abandoning the Ka without prior appointment, the garage took the time to diagnose and moreover, rectify the problem by 8.40 the next morning. The culprit is this little fella known as the ISCV (Idle speed control valve). I’ve cleaned him quite regularly and I know when he’s feeling mischievous, stalling at junctions, refusing to idle properly etc but I’ve never had him mimic a faulty alternator before. A big Thank you to John and everyone at Palmer’s for keeping me and the little beast on the road.

As a child I was mesmerised by the graveyard of scrap cars and in the still, night air Palmer's yard retains a curious, inviting magic but these days serves only to remind of the little Ford’s mortality. Well, after much muted debate, the slumbering phase one nuclear reactor dominating our coastal landscape for miles around has ignited further controversy. Not only were the owners prosecuted for allowing nuclear waste to seep into the surrounding residential areas but plans have been announced to build a new generation of reactor there. Naturally, this has been played down as a consultative exercise but since the existing Magnox unit has been dormant, fishermen report the return of oyster beds and other marine life. Most of us will acknowledge the need for alternatives to fossil fuels but the consequences of corporate interest over public safety doesn’t bear thinking about.
Back to bikes and the Holdsworth’s new carbon Tifosi has been nothing short of a delight, providing some additional comfort and shaving a few grams into the bargain while the 15-tooth Halo sprocket seems a surprisingly good choice for general riding, albeit lacking the outright refinement of the hand polished EAI. Having now clocked up 265 miles aboard the Dia Tech Gran Compe leather saddle, I’m pleased to report it has largely moulded to my shape, discomfort a distant memory-although liberal applications of Nikwax continue so as to encourage this process and keep the elements firmly at bay.
Ison distribution, the UK importer for all things Salsa have once again come to my rescue with this here twenty-five degree oversized stem, raising the Univega’s bar height without giving it the aerodynamics of a Dutch Grandmother gracefully clattering across the cobblestones aboard her 40lb Gazelle. This will see the WTB fall neatly to hand for trail taming, yet just low enough to shelter from a headwind and 200g is reassuringly svelte…For all this, I can’t quite bring myself to complete the metamorphosis thanks to these very nice, old school Tektro cross cantilevers that stop the beast (complete with laden trailer) on the proverbial sixpence, with a gentle, yet definite caress of the lever. Another gizmo sure to capture the imagination of those seeking seductive stocking fillers is this nifty Surly stainless steel cable hanger. Designed to replace the old chrome types typically found adorning cross and touring on bikes, it slots between the seat collar/binder bolt for a really smooth cable run and is ideal for using cantilevers on frames built for Vs. Basically a paper clip on steroids, the mechanically minded could fashion one in a matter of minutes using scraps from the spares bin but it’s nice to see these products readily available. On the subject of fabrication, when Justin (Burls) isn’t tempting me with thoughts of fillet brazed drop bar specific off-roaders, he’s flaunting more titanium including a sub 15lb (geared) road bike and another road/track fixer…Just look at the sculpted beauty of those wishbone stays… Smiten? Then have a chat with Justin (email:Justin@burls.co.uk or www.burls.co.uk).