Dropping down to Dovercourt

Easter was once a time when folk would heed the call to Church, feasting and prayer. Now, the masses descend upon DIY stores in their millions, partaking in an orgy of frenzied bodging-whether painting the spare room, erecting pagodas, paths and patios or attempting full-on domestic re-wires. Accident/Emergency receptions brim with hapless heroes, who’ve discovered the human body is a mightily efficient conductor of electricity, dropped paving slabs on their sneakered feet or nailed themselves to the flat pack furniture they were trying so desperately to erect. Joshua and I took the opportunity to drop by on Justin Burls and take a sneak peak at those lovely fillet brazed prototype framesets I mentioned a while back. Both are fashioned from a lovely Columbus tubeset topped off in either electric blue or rich, ruby red. Construction is, as might be expected, flawless-evidenced by this road fixer chassis finished in a clear lacquer topcoat, that will no doubt catch on amongst the fixer fashionista. Timing (Justin had just returned from the Bespoke Bristol show) and the weather conspired against a preliminary spin but for now I’ll tease you with a few photos….
My own fleet continues to evolve, courtesy the Ilpompino's new S-Link chain and a very swish locking seatpost collar for the Univega. Now, the latter are built to order from aerospace grade titanium by Atomic 22- a small-scale manufacturer based in Horsham, West Sussex. This kit is unique, not only in terms of materials but in that they can produce locking fasteners for pretty much every component on your bike, whether road, fixed or mountain bike, brifters, brake mounts, pedals, derailleurs, crank bolts, you name it, they can protect it. Fitting is best performed using a good quality torque wrench and 8mm socket but a ring spanner will also do the trick, since most of us don’t pop torque wrenches in with the patch kit when heading out for a quick twenty-mile blast.
Early impressions are good, although I’ve had an attack of the vapours on several occasions, trying desperately to reclaim the tiny unique key from beneath the fridge/freezer. Obviously replacements are available (£30 each) and much easier to obtain since keys are automatically registered to the rightful owner at the time of order. Presently, they’re looking to employ alternative metals without compromising strength, thus lowering the cost and broadening appeal. However, it’s no substitute for a decent lock, insurance and similarly sensible precautions since a truly frustrated Neanderthal could wrap your pride and joy around some street furniture…

Theft, particularly of metals and central heating fuels is becoming endemic and almost normalised by the present economic climate but I find these rationale's a very convenient justification for wantonly criminal behaviour. A friend’s storage barn was recently ransacked of copper piping and similar raw materials associated with his plumbing and heating business. Subsequently, he spent a day making effective repair and relocating a project car and essential tooling for fear of subsequent visitation. A happier re-homing came for my faithful Specialized Air Tool track pump; this now resides with my mother and her partner’s bikes. I had a choice of two replacements, including this super sturdy twin barrel Zefal, albeit with defunct pressure gauge.
Back in the saddle and there’s been lots to play with. That BBB chain and cassette seem to be wonderful bedfellows with the Univega’s a’la Carte drivetrain, not so much as missing a shift in four hundred miles. Quality of electroplating appears equally impressive and the factory marinade tenacious for the first two hundred but I’ve since reverted to a wax based dressing. Then came these aptly named Knog Blinder, which belt out a whopping eighty and forty-four lumens respectively. Gone is the iconic medical silicone in favour of anodised aluminium faces and a choice of five funky lighting patterns.
We’ve got the standard “dice” but noughts; crosses, stripes and arrows are the alternatives. Tipping the scales at thirty-five grams a piece, they’re hardly going to cramp the style of even the sleekest of road/fixers either. Performance seems generally impressive, visible in the "bobby-dodger" see-by sense to around 750 metres and rechargeable run times between two hours fifty three and 78.47 hours in top and eco-flash settings respectively. Overall, aside from the slightly swanky price tag, I’m genuinely very impressed and the quality has been tweaked a notch or so higher than the otherwise loveable silicone types too…Back to the book…




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Fifteen Days Later...

The past ten days could've been plucked straight from a George A Romero zombie flick as endless precession of automatic SUVs converged on out of town supermarkets, stocking up for the seasonal famine. Reasoning retail giants were closing indefinitely, armies of the undead lined the aisles, oft sporting iPods and shunting wire baskets along the floor with the Instep of their UGG boots. Flailing arms scattered goods from the shelves to monotonous, piped seasonal in-store music as generations of these poor creatures converged upon the checkouts . Undeterred, I nimbly dodged the malaise, snatching vital supplies of instant coffee to stimulate body and soul. Three precious jars scanned at the automatic teller, I shovelled coins into the slot before fleeing through the automatic doors.

Having made good my escape in the little Ka, this Alpinestars Cro-Mega complete with elevated chainstays and curved seat-tube awaited me at Maldon Shotblasting & Powder Coating. An interesting concept now consigned to the archives, it was thought to overcome the ruinous spectres of chain-slap/suck while a curved seat-tube shortened the wheelbase for gazelle-like climbing prowess.

Underneath its weary lick-and-a-promise grey enamel, the Tange tubeset was remarkably well preserved. A small dent in the top-tube was filled using a combination of weld and Thermabond3 to ensure a really flattering effect but obviously demanded a second trip through the blast cabinet to remove any subsequent imperrfections capable of tainting the fetching orange top coat. Its straight blade Cro-Moly forks were finished in satin black for a classy, timeless contrast. I recall lusting after these and similar concepts of this era while a callow A-level student but as with the Kirk magnesium framesets, wouldn’t pay anything approaching classic or collector prices now. The song remains the same when it comes to several other marques. I’d like a Barry Hoban road frameset from the mid to late 1980s. For the uninitiated Hoban was a Welsh star from the 1960s who later married Tom Simpson’s widow and launched a series of frames bearing his name. To my knowledge these were built from 531Cs tubing at the Falcon factory, who by then had assimilated many top brands including Coventry Eagle, Holdsworth and Claud Butler. British Eagle’s Touristique-a rival to Dawes’ seminal mile munching Galaxy from the same era would be another welcome addition to my fleet. Sadly, the brand is now little more than a decal on sub £100 gas-pipe rubbish.

I managed a decent twenty-five mile daily circuit up until December 25th when contamination struck…Not the retail plague but a severe case of sabre tooth man-flu while tweaking the Univega’s cockpit! The eagle-eyed amongst you will notice the rather striking (and frankly fantastic) two-tone Lizard Skins DSP wrap has been replaced in favour of this Arundel Gecko grip.With a super sticky polymer base and EVA foam backing, this works to the same principle but lacked the DSP's outright refinement, making achieving those graceful, flowing overlaps that little bit more time consuming (forty-five minutes) but the final effect was worth the wait… Time will tell as to their performance, not least since I’ve been refraining from further outings until this particularly serious lurgi has been banished with a regime of red bush tea. The gecko is also available in blue, red, white and yellow if black offends your sensibilities. Knog is something of a not-so guilty secret of mine. From a personal and design perspective, I really love the brand and am sufficiently assured of my own masculinity to parade my fuchsia test samples pride of place on those WTB drops! However, objectively and as a journalist, I accept said charm sometimes exceeds their technical merit and function. This, fine coffee and steadily alternating between test/copy deadlines has thus far fended off the seasonal slump. Those other projects touched upon in my earlier entry have also shown some early signs of fruition so while the somewhat raucous, rowdy interlopers to this here domicile recount strange (albeit highly amusing) drunken tales from the lounge, I’ve been making pressure-free progress from the study, nipping out for periodic socialising, soaps, coffee, mince pies, trifle and more nutritious fuel for body n’ soul to suit. Such is my love of coffee and decay that I’ve even been gifted some of this body wash as part of my Christmas bundle!

Water Sports.....

No, look elsewhere if you're after the sort involving bodily fluids. We've been hit by a band of low pressure, bestowing monsoon rainfall of the type more commonly associated with epic melodramas. Harbingers of doom proclaim the end of summer but these are perfect conditions for real-world conditions for product tests.

The good folk at Moore Large (http://www.todayscyclist.co.uk/) have left me Knog's Dry Dog to play with. Our seventeen inch version is big enough to hop inside and on the strength of recent long, steady rides-completely waterproof (even submerged during river crossings) thanks to the sonically welded 1200 denier PU fabric. Acres of bold, reflective detailing ensures 180 degree visibility, which is an absolute godsend whether chasing along country lanes in the dead of night or tackling the usual town centre malaise. Similarly, Rixen Kaul click-fix systems inspire confidence over the roughest roads and trails, accommodating most gauges of rack with a deft flick of the Phillips screws. Asymmetrical design allows it to ride either side and this extends to the webbed shoulder strap which shares a similar profile to the pig-dog. A splash of cartoon nudity is the only thing likely to divide opinion and for my part, I'm indifferent but some office/environments might not be so liberal.

Having discovered the Univega's Kenda Ultralite tube mysteriously perished at the valve stem, it now lives on as a top-tube protector, which ironically coincided with the purchase of another patch kit. Mean and rueful of the glue-less breed, finding they either don't adhere at all, or slowly peel away, I'll stick with that little tube of vulcanising solution. Leaning bikes by their top-tubes is something I avoid wherever possible but on those occasions calling for intimate relations with street furniture, the old inner tube trick protects paintwork and thin-walled tubing from unnecessary nicks, scrapes and dings.

Freedom to choose (or at least make genuine choices) should never be undervalued. I've been exercising my right to ride sans lid these past few weeks and it has raised a number of interesting points. Firstly, other riders seem more inclined to acknowledge me-regardless of genre or tribe while drivers pass with greater caution and distance. Having worn helmets for the best part of twenty-three years, going totally bareheaded doesn't come naturally-hence the traditional clubman's cap, providing protection from the sun's glare and wind-chill. However, the lid has been resurrected to coincide with these rather tasty new lights from Moon. The creatively monikered X500 is a five hundred lumen, five mode, high power commuting lamp designed for either handlebar of helmet fitting.

Early impressions suggest commendable build quality and output relative to competitor brands, although I have some reservations concerning the lack of peripheral illumination-a moot point perhaps when used as a secondary system but otherwise a consideration when emerging from unlit side-roads, junctions etc . This aside, a choice of wall or USB charging is particularly welcome, although run times in the upper modes don't favour extended nocturnal playtime. Several weeks' thorough testing will reveal all. Elsewhere we've the five LED Mask with detachable covers for perfect colour contrast/coordination and its sixty lumen Shield sibling. Perfect on paper for desk-bound commuters I'm looking forward to putting these through their paces. Our samples were supplied by Raleigh UK (http://www.raleigh.co.uk/) should you fancy a more detailed run down before I return with a more detailed evaluation complete with "Beam" shots.

"I reject your reality and substitute it for my own" is an undeniably witty retort and I am fully aware that stupidity cannot be legislated against. However, there are people who cannot see the correlation between Russian roulette and overtaking on a blind bend. The photograph here depicts the aftermath of a head-on collision between an MG sports car and Ford Mondeo, resulting in critical injuries, necessitating three hour road closure. I realised the gravity of the situation upon spotting a lone stretcher and two police officers gesticulating in between periods of protracted discussion. Nineteen years previously, a cyclist in his early twenties was killed having struck a postal van. Talk focused upon the rider's helmet omission and according to eye-witness reports, the stationary vehicle wasn't badly parked-a genuinely tragic accident resultant from a momentary lapse in concentration.

There prevails a curious myth that simply passing the car test (along with examinations per se) qualifies individuals as competent drivers when in fact it merely proves they were assessed as being suitably safe to be allowed to operate a vehicle on public roads without supervision. There are no shortcuts to road craft as the proliferation of fatalities amongst thirty-somethings who acquire motorcycle licences via intensive course and on large capacity (typically 750cc) machines. By contrast cyclists and motorcyclists who adopt cars as another mode of transport generally "read" the road to a better standard, showing greater empathy for others.

Sermon over and since it's pouring with rain, I'll go testing.

F is for frustration...Oh and fetish!

The onset of warmer weather rekindles my desire to press onward with the Holdsworth's rebirth. Repair to the shell, bottle mounts and of course, new finish. I'm leaning toward a chrome effect powder base-coat with a two pac 5012 top coat to give the impression of a plated triangle but without the harmful processes. However, while I'm renown for creative solutions and lateral thought, some things require capital investment and the behaviours of one small-scale publisher is testing my patience to the absolute limit. This came to a head last week when a second copy of the current issue dropped through my letterbox sans cheque! In stark contrast, Moore Large have sent these butyl tubes gratis since they couldn't supply me with the thorn resistant Kenda on time. Being Knog's UK distributor, they've also left me this veritable hum vee of a bag to play with...

Knog never cease to amuse with their bizarre but oh so clever marketing and that promoting their Pig Dog 15.5 messenger bag is no exception. The blurb suggests the PR boys and girls have been enjoying too many rides on the magic roundabout but if you can wear the hefty £96 price tag, it could prove the perfect urbane companion for riders seeking a stylish, waterproof town satchel on and sans bike but without messenger pretensions. Made from hand stitched, hard wearing 1200 denier cotton duck, full to bursting capacity is an eye-popping twenty-four litres. Being a social chameleon, it can be taken anywhere, especially through airport security with the minimum of fuss which is more than can be said of an otherwise fine example made from hemp with that oh so distinctive aroma....

Polar opposite in their marketing strategy, BBB Ultra tech bib shorts are the embodiment of professional with twelve panel construction, flat seams, silicone grippers gracing every contour perfectly for maximum comfort and unrestricted movement. Inserts can make or break a short. Common to similarly priced designs, it's gender specific, mapped out with the full compliment of supportive/pressure relieving grooves. two layer construction consists of a moisture wicking top-sheet that retains a cool, dry inner climate while the " Silver protection" combats bacterial build up, maintaining good hygiene and odour control. Music to my derriere these past few weeks and six hundred miles, the two tone livery might not be every one's cuppa and some reinforcement would be welcomed around the seat but they're a shrewd option for long days in the saddle without the boutique pricing. Beset by occasional but unnerving bouts of writer's block, I've been seeking inspiration from all manner of places and with Joshua at a loose end, we headed to Maldon Shotblasting & powder coating too see what was on offer. Nestling amongst the rows of freshly TIG welded go-cart chassis awaiting blasting and painting was this Trek. Determining the year of build was tricky since it's made from Cro-moly, the rear stays have an early 90's heritage and curiously the well finished vertical ends sported a disc mount....

Further intrigue came courtesy of Justin Burls and this frameset made for two...I'll arrange to come and visit him at his new premises and if I ask nicely perhaps he'll fill me in. In the meantime should you fancy something bespoke from the finest grade Russian titanium then have a look at his site: http://www.burls.co.uk/

Ending on a surreal note, SKS airchamp pro is a very fine way of raising a flaccid road tyre to 110psi in eight seconds. A clever thumb switch enables controlled release, as opposed to jettisoning an entire cylinder which might not seem ideal when trying to rejoin the peleton but comes into it's own, out with the chain gang. With hydraulic arms you've cajoled eighty-five psi from the hand-pump but it's locked out and that race rubber's begging for 125. Plug on the airchamp and top-up (checking periodically with your tyre gauge to avoid blowing it from the rim!) There's even a safety catch to prevent unintentional discharge...So, there was I bowling along the lanes when whooooooooooooooooosh- the cartridge engaged in my messenger knickers, refreshing the parts Co2 inflators weren't intended for and at £2.50 a hit, this won't develop into a fetish!