Bottom Brackets Are Like Busses...

The Easter bunny bounded into Stenningrad with some deliciously tempting (read rapidly devoured) chocolate eggs, self-extracting crank bolts and a squidgy carton of Muc-off concentrate. For some time, I’ve been reflecting that standard bike wash formulas are a touch insipid, though there’s a fine line between gobbling grime and damaging delicate lacquered, painted/plated surfaces.

250ml diluted with tap/rainwater translates as 1 litre of stock iconic pink cleanser, adding a further 50ml packs a mightier punch, leaving plenty for subsequent refills plus neat gel for tackling congealed gunk typically harboured by rings and cassettes.

The ability to brew bespoke certainly wins brownie points from me but whether Nano tech actually leaves surfaces with a protective, invisible shield remains to be seen. Either way, I’ve reduced marinating times by thirty per cent and rinse thoroughly to avoid any risk of streaking, dulling or indeed, tarnish. Having tamed some pressing deadlines, I turned my attentions to a morning’s reflection, which culminated in a burning desire to upgrade the Ilpompino’s OEM Truvativ GXP external cup bottom bracket system.

Much to my surprise, both have soldiered stoically, not to mention smoothly through sunshine and slush for many thousand miles but my inner fettler told me I had a couple of high end units with super durable ceramic bearings, holidaying somewhere within my low-rise arrangement of Perspex storage boxes…

Nimble focused fingers found two- a superlight composite and an infinitely more enticing titanium model. Now, I’ve never had cause to touch a GXP unit bar occasional tightening of the left 8mm securing bolt, though received wisdom suggests these require some form of conversion kit to play nicely with anyone else’s assembly…

Could be incredibly straightforward or hassle laden, so I may investigate other, uber stiff external cup alternatives, or even the humble sealed square taper…Whatever route I assume, rest assured, it’ll involve lashings of high quality synthetic grease during installation. Interestingly enough, the latest generation of On-One’s Ilpompino is now a frameset only package, offered in a rather fetching grey… 

Another whoop coincided with the resurrection of these second skin close, Specialized BG pro mitts ready for those long spring evening saunters. Joshua insisted he must have my lowlier BG sport for his own use-well, refusal would've been churlish!

While extremely positive, my present collaboration is requiring considerable focus, an intensity mirroring that of my penultimate months as an A level student and undergraduate. Thankfully this time round, breaking tasks down to their component parts and tackling accordingly ensures pressure remains a positive, driving rather than destructive, angst laden force.

Talking of which, Zyro www.zyro.co.uk sent me the aluminium alloy version of their Tortec Epic carrier saving a few quid and 200g on its inox stable mate, while still enjoying a five year warrantee (against defects/workmanship, not abuse!) and thirty kilo maximum payload.

This by the way, is pretty close to that of low-slung mono-wheel touring trailers while retaining manoeuvrability in tight spaces/congested traffic. Urban myth suggests that steels can be “blasted together with heat by roadside Yodas. Such sweeping statements are usually touted by those with little; or no comprehension of metallurgy.

Experience suggests that fatigue induced failures are very infrequent but refraining from leaning one’s steed down on its luggage is one simple practice that will give aluminium alloy models the best possible chance of retiring at a good age. Effective repairs of any carrier is highly dependent upon the metals alloyed, thus “stainless” is a much trickier customer than mild steel.

To date, I’ve only ever had one rack “pop” and while welding of heat treated non-ferrous stuff is a non-starter, often broken joints can be pinned back together with an assortment of nuts n’ bolts until such time you can reach civilisation and acquire  suitable replacement.                  

Tarnished Repute

Yes, the inclement weather has made a return but with plenty of advanced warning and roads drenched in salt. Mercifully I’d spent the previous weeks putting kit through its paces with a view to working a balance between copy, books and the ceaseless struggle to find sensibly satisfying temp gigs in parallel…

I love blinkies, particularly those offering something different, whether it’s retina-tickling prowess, cell sipping economy or indeed both. One23’s half- watt high power unit is a very good example.

Watts are very misleading since this is a measure of power consumed rather than deliverable output but pedantry aside; we’ve been visible from around 750 metres-maybe more on a clear night. This coupled with decent weather seals (passed my saltwater submersion test with flying colours) is all the more impressive from a model giving change from £12.

On many levels, lights and similar gizmos that guzzle from portable devices are absolutely fabulous but lets’ not loose sight of the horses for courses mantra. Those fuelled by two little AA cells and returning 60-80hrs in flashing mode can be superior choices for tourists, Audax aficionados, not to mention commuters who don’t clock on at a PC.

So then, the past two hundred and fifty miles or so leads me to conclude that the Ilpompino’s front-end conversion was by far the best upgrade, bringing a supple yet more vivacious persona to what is essentially a cyclo cross frameset with track ends and 120mm track spacing.

I’ve also decided to revisit  fendersville, retaining a dry derriere’ while keeping salt, slush and other corrosive brews from making inroads into paint, anodising and bearing surfaces. These 37mm section Tortec seem an obvious choice with their heavy-duty chrome plastics, reflective sidewalls and stainless steel components. Their epic rack; also fashioned from the tarnish resistant metal and reckoned to have a mammoth 40-kilo payload will be put through its paces aboard the Univega.

Tarnish resistant…you mean to say stainless can succumb to the dreaded fur too?  In the sense that watches are water resistant (as distinct from proof) to 30, 100, 300metres etc, Inox as its sometimes known is in fact an alloy, typically containing12% chromium, nickel, molybdenum and sometimes titanium oxides, ergo it stains-less than cruder steels. Welding will prove trickier for roadside garages compared with plain gauge mild or Cro-moly should disaster strike in the wide blue yonder too, although this is considerably easier than aluminium.

I have a well-honed hatred of corrosion stemming from watching my childhood clunkers turning furry in the salt coastal air and of course my grandfathers’ almost pathological ability to find traces of this welder’s foe literally everywhere-especially from beneath parental vehicles.

Such neurosis was not welcomed, not least by my father who appeared close to boiling point on many occasions during these puritanical outbursts reminiscent of a bad horror flick where the demented priest is commanding iron oxide from spot welded sections, er sorry, I mean malevolent spirit from an innocent child/hapless housewife/tearaway teens.

Monsters, demons and folklore are all embodiments of fears- conscious latent or otherwise and Joshua’s been developing that pre pubescent fascination for sci-fi/ horror-genres that I still have a fondness for, so can converse widely with him about while maintaining effective censorship.

Cycling’s own particular boogie man of the moment is Lance Armstrong, who having groomed the world and fallen from grace is looking to reinvent his empire with some shrewdly executed bargaining and carefully choreographed remorse.

While never buying into the fairytale, professionally I’ve found his hegemonic grip upon the cycling imagination fascinating and privately believe his competitive success was motivated by  a longer term desire for political prowess. Aside from the obvious sporting scandal, these particular exposes' have the potential to oust cycling from the Olympics.

Some are citing Paul Kimmage’s notorious participant observations/revelations that doping is virtually institutionalised and rather than racing becoming cleaner, performance enhancers have simply become more sophisticated and for a time therefore, undetectable.

Life experience, coupled with that as a columnist/writer leads me to suggest this is quite likely on the one hand but it does leave the door open for those exposed in such a public way to project themselves as victims to be pitied. Are they sorry for being cheats, or ashamed at their exposure?

The notion of a single universal truth has been somewhat eclipsed by truths, which have varying degrees of accuracy-accounts will differ depending on the narrator. An institutionalised culture of doping may well play a lead role. However, to suggest everyone is actively (or passively) engaged in such behaviours is somewhat simplistic and therefore inaccurate.

Public perception of professional cycling is undeniably tainted, which is not the case for other sports such as boxing or soccer. In a wider context, pro-military propaganda paints all service people as heroes/ victims, whereas in reality some will also indulge in rape, torture, extortion and similar gross inhumanities because they can. Others who have served in Bosnia/similar conflicts remark how the army taught them how to kill but not to deal with the emotional consequences. By the same token, many, many leave the services perfectly well adjusted with nothing more sinister than tall-tales and fond memories.

My point being, whatever the setting, conformity is expected within certain parameters but simplistic knee jerk reductionism neither explains, nor addresses extremely complex matters. Perhaps these revelations are so emotive because they challenge our own framework of absolutes….