Tarnished Repute

Yes, the inclement weather has made a return but with plenty of advanced warning and roads drenched in salt. Mercifully I’d spent the previous weeks putting kit through its paces with a view to working a balance between copy, books and the ceaseless struggle to find sensibly satisfying temp gigs in parallel…

I love blinkies, particularly those offering something different, whether it’s retina-tickling prowess, cell sipping economy or indeed both. One23’s half- watt high power unit is a very good example.

Watts are very misleading since this is a measure of power consumed rather than deliverable output but pedantry aside; we’ve been visible from around 750 metres-maybe more on a clear night. This coupled with decent weather seals (passed my saltwater submersion test with flying colours) is all the more impressive from a model giving change from £12.

On many levels, lights and similar gizmos that guzzle from portable devices are absolutely fabulous but lets’ not loose sight of the horses for courses mantra. Those fuelled by two little AA cells and returning 60-80hrs in flashing mode can be superior choices for tourists, Audax aficionados, not to mention commuters who don’t clock on at a PC.

So then, the past two hundred and fifty miles or so leads me to conclude that the Ilpompino’s front-end conversion was by far the best upgrade, bringing a supple yet more vivacious persona to what is essentially a cyclo cross frameset with track ends and 120mm track spacing.

I’ve also decided to revisit  fendersville, retaining a dry derriere’ while keeping salt, slush and other corrosive brews from making inroads into paint, anodising and bearing surfaces. These 37mm section Tortec seem an obvious choice with their heavy-duty chrome plastics, reflective sidewalls and stainless steel components. Their epic rack; also fashioned from the tarnish resistant metal and reckoned to have a mammoth 40-kilo payload will be put through its paces aboard the Univega.

Tarnish resistant…you mean to say stainless can succumb to the dreaded fur too?  In the sense that watches are water resistant (as distinct from proof) to 30, 100, 300metres etc, Inox as its sometimes known is in fact an alloy, typically containing12% chromium, nickel, molybdenum and sometimes titanium oxides, ergo it stains-less than cruder steels. Welding will prove trickier for roadside garages compared with plain gauge mild or Cro-moly should disaster strike in the wide blue yonder too, although this is considerably easier than aluminium.

I have a well-honed hatred of corrosion stemming from watching my childhood clunkers turning furry in the salt coastal air and of course my grandfathers’ almost pathological ability to find traces of this welder’s foe literally everywhere-especially from beneath parental vehicles.

Such neurosis was not welcomed, not least by my father who appeared close to boiling point on many occasions during these puritanical outbursts reminiscent of a bad horror flick where the demented priest is commanding iron oxide from spot welded sections, er sorry, I mean malevolent spirit from an innocent child/hapless housewife/tearaway teens.

Monsters, demons and folklore are all embodiments of fears- conscious latent or otherwise and Joshua’s been developing that pre pubescent fascination for sci-fi/ horror-genres that I still have a fondness for, so can converse widely with him about while maintaining effective censorship.

Cycling’s own particular boogie man of the moment is Lance Armstrong, who having groomed the world and fallen from grace is looking to reinvent his empire with some shrewdly executed bargaining and carefully choreographed remorse.

While never buying into the fairytale, professionally I’ve found his hegemonic grip upon the cycling imagination fascinating and privately believe his competitive success was motivated by  a longer term desire for political prowess. Aside from the obvious sporting scandal, these particular exposes' have the potential to oust cycling from the Olympics.

Some are citing Paul Kimmage’s notorious participant observations/revelations that doping is virtually institutionalised and rather than racing becoming cleaner, performance enhancers have simply become more sophisticated and for a time therefore, undetectable.

Life experience, coupled with that as a columnist/writer leads me to suggest this is quite likely on the one hand but it does leave the door open for those exposed in such a public way to project themselves as victims to be pitied. Are they sorry for being cheats, or ashamed at their exposure?

The notion of a single universal truth has been somewhat eclipsed by truths, which have varying degrees of accuracy-accounts will differ depending on the narrator. An institutionalised culture of doping may well play a lead role. However, to suggest everyone is actively (or passively) engaged in such behaviours is somewhat simplistic and therefore inaccurate.

Public perception of professional cycling is undeniably tainted, which is not the case for other sports such as boxing or soccer. In a wider context, pro-military propaganda paints all service people as heroes/ victims, whereas in reality some will also indulge in rape, torture, extortion and similar gross inhumanities because they can. Others who have served in Bosnia/similar conflicts remark how the army taught them how to kill but not to deal with the emotional consequences. By the same token, many, many leave the services perfectly well adjusted with nothing more sinister than tall-tales and fond memories.

My point being, whatever the setting, conformity is expected within certain parameters but simplistic knee jerk reductionism neither explains, nor addresses extremely complex matters. Perhaps these revelations are so emotive because they challenge our own framework of absolutes….

Torque Talk

The puncture season has resumed with vengeful blisters thanks to some otherwise superlative Specialized training rubber that goes like the clappers and feels notably narrower than their 23mm profiles suggest but proved the proverbial pig to persuade aboard common or garden Mavic MA2s without exploding thumbs and snapped tyre levers. Further upgrades include the much-revered Thomson post.
A Saturday afternoon characterised by deeply debilitating heavy showers in dispersed with high winds led me to contemplate my powers of persuasion, removing the necessary point two of a millimetre. Thirty minutes concentrated sanding and periodic checking and a lick of this Juice Lubes Bearing grease saw it slide perfectly inside the seat-tube with no evidence of stomach sinking slippage over the past thirty miles. My only regret is not seizing the opportunity before. The product in question is formulated specifically for bearings, subjected to a completely different set of stresses compared with their automotive counterparts-hence why in many contexts, automotive greases are unsuitable for hubs, bottom bracket and headsets. The ingredients are something of a mystery, giving little indication of its compatibility with carbon/composite components but experience suggests a polymer base, equally suited to preventing galvanic and other corrosion between non/ferrous interfaces.

Quietly smug, the Altura rack bag and resurrected Pro-Lite saddle assumed their rightful places The Thomson’s forward facing curvature is perfect for smaller/riders seeking to place themselves over the bottom bracket shell for increased power and in this context it has also corrected the handlebar reach, greatly improving comfort over prolonged periods-particularly when hunkering low on the drops.
Juice ceramic lube seems a good bet for smooth transmissions too. It’s made from a blend of high quality base oils with baron nitride-a synthetic compound similar in properties to graphite. Marketed as a summer-lube it doesn’t overly attract dirt and resists seasonal showers without demanding reapplication but be sure to wipe the outer link plates on a weekly basis. Unlike traditional wet lubes, it doesn’t overly attract grime and means that pretty blue/pink/tricolour track chain will retain its looks-so long as the “Little and often” principle is maintained. Performance seems better than expected off-road- just so long as conditions fall between Death Valley arid and Mumbai monsoon.

Not so many moons ago, torque wrenches were very much the preserve of the professional workshop but as carbon and other composites have become commonplace, the notion of setting components by feel is rapidly becoming as archaic as simple rope tests to ascertain frame alignment. Unlike space-age materials, the trickle down factor hasn’t reached tooling but this little CNC machined beauty from Effetto may well be the alchemist in this sea change. It measures a mere 16.5cm long and costs a whopping £ but this pales into insignificance when dealing with top-flight components-wrecking a full carbon frameset for the sake of a couple of hundred quid is false economy an good tools always repay their investment… So long as you don’t lend them out (!)

Most manufacturers, especially the major players have carbon sussed and modern manufacturing techniques mean its unlikely to break but nipping an alloy cradle too tight could well result in a nasty fracture- is it really worth the risk, much less the expense on a saddle consuming the lion’s share of £120? So, back to this elegant piece of Italian engineering…Accurate to 0.5nm the price includes a wealth of attachments fit for tackling most components aside from more traditional 8mm crank bolts-we’ve got 2,2.5,3,4,5 and 6mm Allen keys, T20, T25 Torx and an assortment of flat and Philips head screwdrivers). These simply plug into the magnetised head. Turn the knurled sphere anti/clockwise to adjust torque-cross reference with the laser etched settings integral to the handle and happy fettling!

Now to some software. Remember those Altura Summit I introduced in my last entry, well turns out they’re really very, very proficient for general riding thinks to superlative ventilation, low weight and hardy materials. Taking the scenic route, involving deserted houses and bridle path long since reclaimed by nature, they’ve laughed at ferocious foliage, wash and dry beautifully. Being primarily an MTB garment they’re nice for touring and general riding but offerings from the like of Endura translate better to urban fixer applications thanks to closer cut, better insert and pocket configuration. Their relatively thin insert feels very comfortable-at least in terms of padding but the silicone leg-grippers could be more tenacious, allowing the garment to bunch up painfully around the crotch. Mercifully, other brands fit perfectly, thus resolving the problem. Despite globalisation and the fluidity of cultural exchange facilitated through the Internet, it is interesting to note alley cat events haven’t caught on to the same degree here in the UK. There’s been frisson of activity time and again and Bob Jackson offers a 631 Fixer frameset with this moniker.Retro has been debated many, many times both here and other column inches. Personally, I like the opportunities it presents to obtain products-or should we say reproductions long since banished to obscurity but it has to be said there’s an underlying sense that we, as a nation-possibly as a global village are being consumed by the desire to hark back to a mythical, romanticised construct of the past or bygone era. I recently happened upon this road path bike while walking through a seaside town. The owner advises it’s a 50’s Ephgrave that was bought during his national service and later re-sprayed a pink by himself courtesy of a homemade compressor. Look closely and there’s some obvious distortion (crash damage?) of the head tube, chrome has long since left the GB stem while teeth are notable by their absence on the chain-ring but that aside, it remains an interesting machine and one the owner had an extremely fond bond with. Tales of track racing, long training runs from London to Norfolk, home-made stainless steel toe-clips and other fascinating details-he’d even used the final drive chain from a Honda 90 motorcycle in place of an inch pitch or 1/8th track offering!
The omnipresent spectre of scandal surrounding European racing from the Giros to the Tour De France have petty much eroded any interest beyond vocational in the professional scene. Without being overly simplistic, the hug amounts of money involved is conducive to institutionalised doping but the authorities appear to have made it their life’s work to conclusively prove Armstrong and more recently Floyd Landis as persona non-grata. Armstrong is understandably distancing himself from Landis who is widely regarded as a bitter, disgraced drugs cheat but some are saying (with some conviction) should the allegations have any foundation, Armstrong’s achievements are then tantamount not to the greatest show on earth but arguably the greatest fraud in sporting history. Armstrong is a very shrewd, self-aware businessman first and foremost-he just happens to ride a bike and will protect his interests at all costs. Similarly, I’ve no idea whether the bike-doping revelations with motors in the bottom bracket shells (supposedly) providing additional assistance on the climbs are little more than a rumour or elaborate hoax but it wouldn’t overly surprise me. Jacques Anquetil once laughed at the suggestion the tour was won on Evian. Equally, cycling is giving other sports from cricket through to athletics a convenient smokescreen to hide behind.