Tarnished Repute

Yes, the inclement weather has made a return but with plenty of advanced warning and roads drenched in salt. Mercifully I’d spent the previous weeks putting kit through its paces with a view to working a balance between copy, books and the ceaseless struggle to find sensibly satisfying temp gigs in parallel…

I love blinkies, particularly those offering something different, whether it’s retina-tickling prowess, cell sipping economy or indeed both. One23’s half- watt high power unit is a very good example.

Watts are very misleading since this is a measure of power consumed rather than deliverable output but pedantry aside; we’ve been visible from around 750 metres-maybe more on a clear night. This coupled with decent weather seals (passed my saltwater submersion test with flying colours) is all the more impressive from a model giving change from £12.

On many levels, lights and similar gizmos that guzzle from portable devices are absolutely fabulous but lets’ not loose sight of the horses for courses mantra. Those fuelled by two little AA cells and returning 60-80hrs in flashing mode can be superior choices for tourists, Audax aficionados, not to mention commuters who don’t clock on at a PC.

So then, the past two hundred and fifty miles or so leads me to conclude that the Ilpompino’s front-end conversion was by far the best upgrade, bringing a supple yet more vivacious persona to what is essentially a cyclo cross frameset with track ends and 120mm track spacing.

I’ve also decided to revisit  fendersville, retaining a dry derriere’ while keeping salt, slush and other corrosive brews from making inroads into paint, anodising and bearing surfaces. These 37mm section Tortec seem an obvious choice with their heavy-duty chrome plastics, reflective sidewalls and stainless steel components. Their epic rack; also fashioned from the tarnish resistant metal and reckoned to have a mammoth 40-kilo payload will be put through its paces aboard the Univega.

Tarnish resistant…you mean to say stainless can succumb to the dreaded fur too?  In the sense that watches are water resistant (as distinct from proof) to 30, 100, 300metres etc, Inox as its sometimes known is in fact an alloy, typically containing12% chromium, nickel, molybdenum and sometimes titanium oxides, ergo it stains-less than cruder steels. Welding will prove trickier for roadside garages compared with plain gauge mild or Cro-moly should disaster strike in the wide blue yonder too, although this is considerably easier than aluminium.

I have a well-honed hatred of corrosion stemming from watching my childhood clunkers turning furry in the salt coastal air and of course my grandfathers’ almost pathological ability to find traces of this welder’s foe literally everywhere-especially from beneath parental vehicles.

Such neurosis was not welcomed, not least by my father who appeared close to boiling point on many occasions during these puritanical outbursts reminiscent of a bad horror flick where the demented priest is commanding iron oxide from spot welded sections, er sorry, I mean malevolent spirit from an innocent child/hapless housewife/tearaway teens.

Monsters, demons and folklore are all embodiments of fears- conscious latent or otherwise and Joshua’s been developing that pre pubescent fascination for sci-fi/ horror-genres that I still have a fondness for, so can converse widely with him about while maintaining effective censorship.

Cycling’s own particular boogie man of the moment is Lance Armstrong, who having groomed the world and fallen from grace is looking to reinvent his empire with some shrewdly executed bargaining and carefully choreographed remorse.

While never buying into the fairytale, professionally I’ve found his hegemonic grip upon the cycling imagination fascinating and privately believe his competitive success was motivated by  a longer term desire for political prowess. Aside from the obvious sporting scandal, these particular exposes' have the potential to oust cycling from the Olympics.

Some are citing Paul Kimmage’s notorious participant observations/revelations that doping is virtually institutionalised and rather than racing becoming cleaner, performance enhancers have simply become more sophisticated and for a time therefore, undetectable.

Life experience, coupled with that as a columnist/writer leads me to suggest this is quite likely on the one hand but it does leave the door open for those exposed in such a public way to project themselves as victims to be pitied. Are they sorry for being cheats, or ashamed at their exposure?

The notion of a single universal truth has been somewhat eclipsed by truths, which have varying degrees of accuracy-accounts will differ depending on the narrator. An institutionalised culture of doping may well play a lead role. However, to suggest everyone is actively (or passively) engaged in such behaviours is somewhat simplistic and therefore inaccurate.

Public perception of professional cycling is undeniably tainted, which is not the case for other sports such as boxing or soccer. In a wider context, pro-military propaganda paints all service people as heroes/ victims, whereas in reality some will also indulge in rape, torture, extortion and similar gross inhumanities because they can. Others who have served in Bosnia/similar conflicts remark how the army taught them how to kill but not to deal with the emotional consequences. By the same token, many, many leave the services perfectly well adjusted with nothing more sinister than tall-tales and fond memories.

My point being, whatever the setting, conformity is expected within certain parameters but simplistic knee jerk reductionism neither explains, nor addresses extremely complex matters. Perhaps these revelations are so emotive because they challenge our own framework of absolutes….

Carbon, D cups & Similar Fetishes

A wonderful Christmas spent with friends and family was rudely interrupted by Beelzebub; a particularly spiteful cold virus that killed my appetite, induced fever, headache and the sort of hacking cough/mucus production that would impress chain smoking shipyard weldors.  

Stoicism is one of the few stereotypically British traits in my possession, hence I ploughed ahead with January’s workload while finding time to strip and re-grease the Ilpompino’s FSA Orbit Aheadset. These are nice examples of the cheap but cheerful breed boasting simple, yet effective O ring seal and caged ball bearings, explaining their popularity as OEM equipe’ on mid range mountain bikes of similar vintage.

Quiet contemplation often invites wholesale upgrades between holiday season and January’s pedestrian unveiling, so chances are, it comes as little surprise to learn that I've been obsessively measuring steerer tubes and cutting these ITM Visa down to size. Well and truly gripped by cold and carbon demons, I wanted to avoid headset replacement having established said components were in remarkably rude health.

Generous bastings of this lithium derived Motorex grease greatly improved souplesse so we needed a compatible crown race and bearings, allowing effortless swaps between composite and Cro-moly should need arise. White brews have received very bad press in recent years resultant from their links with galvanic corrosion (chemical reaction leading metals of different parentage to seize solid.

Fluted alloy posts and steel framesets being notorious examples of this process). However, these are static, bearings are perpetually turning. Surfing unearthed Dia Compe’s suggestively monikered D cup. Essentially it’s a CNC machined lower ensemble with simple caged ball bearings, supposedly interchangeable with a wealth of other marques…

Vital statistics were dead ringers for the elderly FSA’s so I wasted no time in ordering one. Next day delivery saw a friendly local mechanic install crown race and star fangled nut, although an interference free, buttery smooth fairytale ending necessitated pruning the Visa’s alloy steerer by eight millimetres. Non-existent weather seals are easily overcome with some decent marine grease and scrap inner tube engineering.

Cut a two-inch strip of redundant butyl and draw this past the bottom cup. Lubricate bearing/surfaces generously before re-coupling the front end and adjusting textbook stylee. Ensure makeshift seal is carefully positioned so as to prevent road/trail spray being funnelled inside and so long as jet washing is avoided things should remain happy for considerably longer. 

Next in line were Joshua’s slightly arthritic steerer bearings, which hadn’t seen a mechanic since Noah was hastily constructing his ark. An hour, lashings of lube, some agricultural utterances and a brand spanking new Jagwire cableset later, everything looks and behaves in great proportion.

New Year stocktaking saw patch kits and CO2 cartridges replenished, crammed inside a 750ml tool tub along with pocket workshop and resin tyre levers. Essentially trade bottles with broader mouths and screw top lids, these also make superb battery caddies for home brewed high power lighting systems but I’d recommend lining with thin pile foam in both contexts to prevent irksome jingling over inclement surfaces.

Right then, another batch of lovely blinkies has arrived on my doorstep, so I’m off to put them through their paces and some serious miles on the newly reconfigured fixer. Here’s to a productive and puncture free 2013.   

The Blow Out Before Christmas

Having replenished my supply of spare tubes and indulging the Ilpompino in a fresh set of Freedom ryder tyres, it was highly ironic that my little ford KA should succumb to the pothole boom, blowing the tyre and leaving its steel rim with a gruesome flat spot. Mercifully, Uncle Benny sent the cavalry and a local garage resurrected both in exchange for £20, which came as something of a relief.

Just the previous night, I’d narrowly averted disaster aboard said fixer while haring through those unlit lanes and debating the importance of rim brakes. Someone pumping floodwater from their land left a corpulent, inflexible blue pipe straddling the highway-suffice to say I’m eternally grateful to my 600 lumen lighting ensemble and those re-badged, wide arm Tektro cantilevers, stopping us literally eight inches from disaster!

Right, well having met my targets deadlines-wise I’ll head to the midlands and wish you all a happy Christmas.

Snow White, the Salt Monster & Sexy Bottle Cages

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the one’s we used to know-ah yes, those halcyon days where jealous siblings unburdened themselves into their rival’s new “Action Man” tank sometime between the first guests arriving and the queen’s speech…Mercifully I appear to be avoiding my  seasonal slump little by little...

Rory Hitchens at Upgrade was kind enough to let me play with his stunning Kinesis Pro 6 build. Race whippet first and foremost, well conceived civilising features (fenders, four point carrier fixings, two bottle bosses and chain pip) coupled with tyre swap makes effortless transformation to frisky sportive demon, winter plaything or indeed weekend tourer.

£2400 buys some beautiful kit and I’ve been particularly smitten with TRP’s Paradox  brakeset, which is essentially a hybrid design incorporating a unique stem mounted junction box (aka the parabox) that translates standard cable pull into hydraulic force. In common with Shimano and Magura, the hydraulic components run on mineral, not DOT fluids. Using the latter will cannibalise hoses and olives irreparably fast but in any case leakages/damage should be firmly in blue moon territory.

Being an open design means pads automatically adjust closer to the rotors as they wear, which can be the difference between Santa safely stopping his Bob Yak and the lever bottoming uselessly against his handlebars.  Despite being completely under its spell, I was somewhat relieved when the courier came to collect, since having a machine that valuable residing in my garage this time of year (let alone one that didn't belong to me) meant my inane grin was increasingly giving way to creeping paranoia.

This repatriation prompted a fleet rotation, Izzie Ilpompino being the obvious choice since fixed gives much better feedback and control, as the roads turn increasingly wintry. Cyclo cross geometry inspires a suitably engaging, yet stable passage over slimy asphalt, although the sudden plunge in temperatures induced a gritting frenzy of the sort requiring fastidious applications of bike wash, rinsed off in cold water so as to avoid hastening the corrosive, chemical reaction.

An evenings' saunter through minus five left me dangerously cold, despite winter weight gloves, bib tights, base layers, long sleeved jersey, training jacket, thermal hat and water proof socks-hence my faithful companion was popped away in the garage still wearing covering of said caustic brew...Within twenty four hours, it had already sunk its teeth into the paint, a chip or two incurred during earlier rides already succumbing to the dreaded brown taint. 

Easily cured with a rub back and retouch perhaps but illustrates the horrifying haste at which the salt monster attacks anything remotely exposed. Really, really cold conditions can also do interesting things to synthetic lubes and accidental over application of this otherwise superb Fenwick’s' stealth (easily the cleanest, yet most tenacious road prep gracing my chains to date) saw it become a sludgy mess within sixty miles. Unleaded petrol proved the best stripping medicine and I allowed the Stealth to thin in a bowl of very warm water for twenty minutes before delicately applying a trace amount deep into every link via its pipette style dropper.

On a happier note, another temp role presented itself and there's been no shortage of Gizmos such as this literally all singing and dancing USB charging Mio computer/GPS/HRM system. Ultra comprehensive, set up and calibration are surprising straightforward, although calls for a methodical approach- its the sort you set up on a wet Saturday afternoon, not twenty minutes before a group ride.

Aside from some initial communication problems between sensor and magnet (solved by replacing the latter with one hibernating in the spares drawer) we’ve been bonding surprising well given it does pretty much everything bar make the tea, although there’s probably a downloadable app for that too!  

Speaking of tipples, Lezyne flow SL might be just the ticket if you've bought a small semi/compact geometry frameset and are finding the main triangle a wee bit on the bijous side for two trade bottles. Made from a composite matrix (blend of sophisticated plastics to you n’ me) and 48g, it can't quite muster the same bragging rights as carbon but I'm really endeared to the left/right handed options that arguably add that final personalised touch-especially to a bespoke build.  

Right then, back to those pre Christmas deadlines…

Stay Away From The Fog...

With deeply unrewarding temp role coming to an expedient end, relief was quickly superseded by a sense of economic alarm. Still, I’m retaining a sense of stoical pragmatism and enjoying the steady precession of test goodies coupled with the odd 150 saunter up country to the marvellous midlands, widely recognised as Britain’s industrial heartland. Twenty odd miles south of Birmingham sits Coventry’s transport museum. Entry is free but donations keep those rooms brimming with old scooters, motorcycles, and cars and not forgetting examples of fine cycle manufacture in fine fettle.

Damp and perpetually gloomy November weather seems ideal testing ground for the unsung heroes-lubes, greases, polishes for our bikes, waterproof socks, gloves and of course beanies to keep us churning away in relative comfort. However, my tempo along the lanes is dictated by an advancing black dog called D. Depression is an overused term but in its real forms, a genuinely horrible, debilitating condition that I am determined to avoid. Right now I am very low and see this as the body’s way of communicating a need to confront some fairly fundamental stuff festering unchecked for some time.

A major component of this is professional frustration. My journalism/photography brings immense satisfaction and defines me on so many levels. Contrast this with an incessant tide of nondescript temporary roles in unrelated fields with people whom I share little, or no common ground. Therefore, strident efforts are being made to secure a relevant vocational opportunity that would have deeply empowering effect upon my outlook right now…Hmm, I’ve got a great face for radio…Anyone need a slot filling?  

Meanwhile, back at the test bench... Motorex bike shine is a spray formula designed to keep winter’s silt, slurry and spatter from clinging to polished, painted, plated and even plastic surfaces. However, steer clear of contact points and braking surfaces, for reasons, which should be obvious… I was surprised to learn it’s actually silicone based since while these usually deliver a protective showroom shine fine for bikes in seasonal hibernation, they generally attract, rather than repel dirt.

Talk of the devil; its solvent carrier gobbles dilute spatter and similarly light road grime on contact but salt encrusted winter hacks and muddy crossers will need a good old fashioned bucket wash n’ dry first (cold in the first context since hot only serves to accelerate the chemically corrosive reaction). From here, it’s simply a question of spraying short bursts into a clean lint-free cloth and buffing to a jewelled effect. Previous blends have been really handy for my cyclo crosser, although several tins of beeswax furniture polish can e had for the same money and do broadly the same thing, although admittedly require more frequent application. 

    

Their dry lube is another curiosity, not least since it’s actually a hybrid, supposedly offering the cleanliness of dry and wets tenacity. Since the brand specialises in petrochemical products, I expected it to perform well but hadn’t bargained for the speed at which the chain and to a lesser extent, cassette looked grubby. 

Having cleaned the chain thoroughly to rule out cross contamination, simply twist the spout and apply, holding some more clean rag or kitchen towel beneath since it literally races into every link. Initial impressions are favourable- slick, silent and very tenacious but side plates are demanding weekly wiping. This sounds ideal for Joshua, since he’s suddenly spread wings and begun riding to school, although I’ve discovered he’s be sneaking out sans lights-hence these Torch/One23 have found themselves tethered to handlebars and helmet.

Soggy feet are another unwelcome winter experience. Overshoes are the obvious solution since they also protect expensive race slippers from the salt monster. However, I find them cumbersome at the best of times so was suitably cheered by the arrival of these thin, calf length Seal Skinz Socks. Fully waterproof when immersed to the elasticated cuff, they’re incredibly comfortable worn with all genres of riding footwear and an obvious choice for mountain biking and cross antics. Odour control seems generally good but washing’s no more complicated than popping them on a cool, machine cycle.

Tempered Frustrations

With the arrival of my thirty-ninth year swept some serious introspection and longing for greater professional achievement, while still grounded in the reality that temping remains a necessary, albeit sometimes deeply dissatisfying part of my economic diet. Petty frustrations have been eroding my resolve and self-indulgent as this sounds, the prospect of having to attend an organisation awash with consultants and managerial competence broadly on terms with the long defunct British Leyland certainly isn’t helping.

This is tempered by economic pragmatism and softened with the steady stream of very fetching kit gracing my doorstep in recent weeks. Leather saddles and accessories such as this Derwent from Harrogate based SPA cycles; commuter plus lighting from Blackburn, Cat-Eye, Electron, Knog and Lezyne have all been keeping the Univega and I churning through the lonesome lanes. Some divine force must’ve been looking upon me favourably the other evening since I’d left said tubby tourer outside all night (!) but thankfully found it still resting by the garage door come the morning…Things could’ve been so different and I can’t think how I’d forgotten to tuck my two wheeled friend safely away. 

Commuter plus rechargeable lighting designed for suburban saunters by day and faster paced road outings come the evening have been a notable growth market in recent years, with ever more lumens and sleeker styling to boot. Tipping the scales at 183g (including li-on battery) this Swedish Silva Pave’ lamp belts out 550 lumens in top for back road scratching, yet has a standard and flashing settings ideally suited to sub/urban contexts. Intelligent light is another term that’s been banded about for a few seasons too.

We’ve commonly understood this to mean a system that automatically kicks down to conserve power, thus greatly reducing incidents of unexpected failure. However, in this context, it refers to the deployment of both flood and spot beams simultaneously. Despite some initial scepticism, it’s pretty close to being best of both worlds and works particularly well atop a lid. Slightly underpowered as a main lamp for singletrack duties, it’s bang on for the sticks and offers decent economy between five-hour mains charging.  Continued, positive feedback in relation to my interviews and similar magazine development is another positive facet that bolsters my mood.

Joshua is presently contributing to this earlier sense of anxiety, having disengaged from the school curriculum and seemingly entering a parallel, Lego derived universe (similar in nature to my legendary teenage two wheeled classroom escapes). Prolonged but generally constructive discourse with his class and head teachers confirms they too are acutely aware of his academic potential but cannot fathom this particular set of behaviours either.

   

Mathematics seems to be a major mental block and in my view, the catalyst but I’m at a loss how to help him overcome his sense of panic aside from encouraging him to talk to me on the one hand, while incorporating very small components of applied numerecy in everyday and sometimes cycling contexts. Having indulged in some new camera equipment, I’ve passed an old Fuji to him-there’s plenty of creative scope and he’s certainly engaging with it for sustained periods-mostly in semi automatic P setting.

This leads me nicely to these Mac Wet sports gloves, not cycling specific but highly suited to the great outdoors, they’re increasingly developing a strong following amongst the photographic community thanks to their wind and water repellent fabrics. The latter, known as Aquatec also ensures leach like grip when conditions turn distinctly soggy but mercifully also breathes; thus avoiding clammy digits. Padding is virtually non-existent so not ideal for long outings over inclement road surfaces, although double as neat liners for breathable winter gloves. Right I’m off to chase the blues away, put some more miles on the Nidd and lights through their paces.

Wagons Roll!

Life's as much about working smart as it is hard and old adages in reference to busy folk getting things done seem very colloquial at present. Falling leaves of radiant colours signal the end of trade shows and the steady procession of fresh samples wind their way to my door.

Had a wonderful email from Gary Rothera advising his order book has gone into orbit and thanking me for interviewing him for a UK title. Consequently, he’s sending me some fresh lines to play with and should temping maintain consistent cadence, I’ll pop along to Lee Cooper with the Holdsworth and have him perform replacement bottom bracket shell surgery as a Christmas pressie to myself. Obviously, “Ninja Blue” will need new livery but I’ll leave that in the capable hands of Maldon Shot blasting & powder coating. 

Every so often, I get fanciful ideas about upgrading the Univega’s front end in favour of a carbon fork, disc braked configuration but monies are better invested elsewhere-last year it was replenishing tiring camera bodies/lenses and this season a laptop’s looking likely.

On the consumerables front, a sudden spike in tube munching amongst the fleet (Valve stem failure, rather than belted tyre casings not doing their stuff) has necessitated buying in of fresh stock and I might go the bulk purchase bargain route should opportunity present itself. Afterall, is there such a thing as too many when it comes to the humble butyl inner tube?

Speaking of which, replacing its ailing UN52 signalled time for a good wash and hard paste car waxing to purge grime and spray that, despite full length, portly mudguards never fails to accumulate around the fork blades, seat and chainstays. Cursory inspection also revealed a dragging cantilever arm and fraying cable. But both demons were swiftly defeated with a quick squirt of water displacer, tweaking of cable tension and of course, some superglue.     

Dwindling daylight has revealed the limitations of the more powerful commuter plus 200lumen lamps with integral rechargeable li-on cells. Sure, they’ll keep pace with the suburbs and are perfectly adequate in the “being seen” sense but don’t cajole oncoming drivers into dipping their main beams.  Ergo the Magicshine and its previous, quirkier incarnation will become regular features, even if they sit on the lower 450 lumen setting, delivering Audax friendly six hour run times from a single charge.

Hold the front page! I've just landed this Exposure Revo dynamo headlamp. Designed as an integrated system with the UK marque's range of hubs and rear plug in lamps, it belts out a phenomenal eight hundred lumens with nominal effort.

Ours has behaved impeccably with an Ultegra dynohub, delivering the sort of crisp, flicker free illumination perfect for navigating unlit rural backwaters at thirty and less challenging singletrack to around twenty. Oncoming SUVs dip their headlamps at around three hundred and fifty metres and some drivers even stop!

Stand light technology means the lamp remains lit for up to ten minutes when stationary coming back on stream with a quick nudge of the front wheel. Suffice to say I'm completely smitten! 

Coupling this with my previous commentary on the importance of effective rider-specific illumination has me researching suitable options for the trailer.

Just when I was about to launch into rocking horse/hens’ teeth analogies, along comes Fibre Flare with their range, which looks to offer the perfect blend of surface area, output and rubberised mounting hardware.

They’re offering two mini front models designed to bolster peripheral prowess and I’m visualising three originals lain horizontally at the rear and shotgun on the side rails with two miniature white models positioned vertically at the front, thus completing the flight path runway/grotto effect handsomely.

UK law only prescribes a single, rear light but in my view, it’s insufficient and inviting a SMIDSY moment when leaving junctions. Most drivers will not be factoring in a coupling, especially those piloting lowered Saxo with thumping base and big can announcing their distinct lack of virility …

  

Nothing came of approaching that local publisher with my series of short children’s fiction but undeterred, preliminary discussions with another small scale company looks a little more promising, albeit tempered with a level spoonful of realism. Afterall, feedback of all kinds, not just the pretty stuff is how we progress, develop and improve-if we really want to.