Fatigue & Thrift

Fatigue hit me like the proverbial express train. I’d been working relentlessly testing kit and composing copy until 2am pretty much every morning for three successive weeks and the creative process had ground to a halt. Deadlines met and others under strict control, I headed 150 miles north to the Midlands for a photographic assignment. En route I couldn’t resist exploring some long derelict hotels- evidently raped by the metal locusts.

Meanwhile back in the south…Coinciding with another financial year’s swan song was the rush to collate and submit fiscal evidence forming the basis of this year’s tax return to HRMC (Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs). Fiscal administration doesn’t come naturally to me, yet completion is strangely satisfying tackled with a focused, proactive mindset.

On the subject of money, there’s a prevailing romanticism of thrift within television scheduling which focuses on cooking, dressmaking and related domesticity. On many levels I’ve nothing against this, assuming it reconnects people with traditional skills and creativity but there’s a more sinister use of nostalgia, drawing parallels with a rose tinted post war make do n’ mend era while the very frameworks established to promote equality, raise living standards and socio-economic mobility are steadily eroded under the guise of austerity.

Begrudgingly infectious, I rustled up this simple little handlebar camera mount for the princely sum of 80p. Hardly a novel concept but a constructive use of three minutes, an old reflector mount, tap washers, rubber shims, ¼ inch threaded bolt and two nuts it entertains most standard compact cameras and captures reasonable ride footage. Further refinements (rubber shims and wing nuts) will hopefully counteract irksome blurring vibration when hosting super zoom travel models. I’m undecided whether this is a consequence of a long lens and slightly whippy Nylon bracket, or indeed combination of both so comparison with Minoura’s beautifully machined aluminium version would be very interesting. Watch this space…

Spares bin scavenging also resurrected a beautiful stainless steel EAI superstar sprocket devoid of the bevelling designed to compensate for poor chainline on fixed gear conversions. Despite introducing its Halo predecessor with a healthy slathering of grease, removal demanded generous applications of penetrant and judicious persuasion from Pedro’s Vise whip.

While performing said surgery, I also happened upon some potentially nasty looking lesions in the Kojak’ casings, although these proved superficial, easily repaired using some premium grade super glue. Speaking of which, spring has finally sprung, snow tyres have been substituted for slicks and those Revolution trail Baggies are rapidly becoming the default option. Interesting framesets such as this mid to late 90’s 653 Ribble complete with internal cable guides, two tone livery and some curious superficial corrosion around the seat collar are awaiting makeover with Maldon Shot blasting & powder coating. Classic is one of those words, including Artisan (or indeed “Flavoursome”) banded around without discretion, although this particular offering is an excellent example of mid to late 90’s volume produced steel road frames.

Every now and then, I’m tempted to dress the Teenage Dream in a contemporary upper mid range groupset-Microshift Centos being an obvious choice but this would detract from its character and more importantly result in existing components needlessly languishing within the spares bin. Maybe when six-speed screw on freewheels finally go do-do a’la Maillard’s Helicomatic tool-free cassette system.

With a sporty touring shoes feature presently mid draft, its interesting that pedal choices for those wanting to retain the character of an eighties road bike are somewhat confined to clips n’ straps or Look/Keo patterns. However, Shimano’s single sided PDA520 have recently graced my doorstep. Marketed as touring pedal, they tip the scales at 278g and boast high lustre anodised aluminium bodies designed to age gracefully and moreover, distribute loads evenly.

Minimising fatigue/hotspots without blunting cornering prowess, racing horizons seem limited only by footwear choice and recessed cleats are infinitely more practical on an everyday basis. Some have called for electroplated axles, suggesting their existing finish is susceptible to the salt monster-I’ll reserve judgement for now, other than to suggest a quick preventative drop of winter weight, wet lube usually renders this problem academic.

Right, time I resumed my touring shoes group test and pitching book projects to potential publishers.

Meandering through the monsoon: Helmet cams, Secret compounds & portable detonators…

Rain has remained a consistent metaphor for my somewhat downbeat mood these past few weeks but maybe it’s just a question of skies being darkest before dawn. A publisher popped up from behind the proverbial parapet keen for the book project to take off, subject to contact. Heartening though this is, congratulatory backslapping does not a book write. Sat under the shade of Uncle Benny’s Veranda, guzzling diesel strength coffee, we happened upon a light bulb cash-flow solving moment. I have a long held fascination for pattern parts, specifically electronics and am seriously looking into importing some for commercial purposes…speaking of electricals, I’ve been mightily impressed by the original Go-Pro Hero HD helmet cam.

Arguably superseded by its MKII sibling, build and image quality remain top notch, especially in 1280x960 mode thanks to a wide-angle f2.8 lens. Documentary filmmaking prowess aside, its had a very positive effect upon driver etiquette. All but the most ignorant/unlicensed/uninsured (and therefore untouchable) overtook and approached with greater courtesy. That said, it’s widely acknowledged that in tense inner city neighbourhoods, violent conflict can be sparked simply by a motor/cyclist making greater progress through stationary traffic, let alone potentially criminal driver behaviours being recorded. Generally user-friendly, it requires several trial runs for intuitive function and consequently, I lost some potentially hilarious footage on those initial outings. Similarly, it’s a little hefty worn atop a lightweight road lid longer than ninety minutes, so I’m eager to get hold of the recently launched handlebar mount.

Our celebrity culture isn’t a new phenomenon, people see a camera and either call the authorities, or loose all inhibitions. Two teenagers approaching me couldn’t have drawn more attention to themselves if they’d sported colossal white beards and red tunics. Even those who wouldn’t so much as manage a grunt couldn’t resist a breezy holler and one chap even indulged in a bit of ad-hoc business promotion (didn’t have the heart to tell him I’d got the weather and therefore, soundproof backing in situ!).

Extensive praying to the god of blowouts brought some lovely goodies. These Panaracer Ribmo arrived for the Univega courtesy of their UK importer (www.zyro.co.uk). Three hundred miles or so through flooded roads has left a very positive impression, although their profiles are closer to 1.6 rather than 1.75 inches as denoted on their sidewalls. This hasn’t negatively affected performance, especially cantering across metalled road but called for tyre levers when persuading their folding versions aboard common or garden cross country mtb rims. In the wake of this latest wave of terrorist paranoia, perhaps this beautifully executed Lezyne micro floor drive pump could be mistaken for a plastics explosives detonator when cadging a lift on the bottle bosses and perhaps best stowed away in the panniers. Subversive humour aside, its mightily efficient to a genuine 120psi, which is sufficient for all bar top-flight tubulars. However, care must be taken to avoid accidentally triggering the bleed valve when disconnecting the hose.

A fresh set of fetching Fibrax gear cables have brought renewed vigour to the tubby tourer’s shifting and I’ve resuscitated its cheap but oh so cheerful blinky whose switch had succumbed to the recent Bollywood monsoon conditions. Dismantled and left to dry at room temperature, I administered a slathering of Vaseline to the internals and repaired a hairline crack where seal and lens meet using Effetto Mariposa Carbo Grip. Essentially, it’s a sophisticated silicone resin assembly spray, designed for the modern, composite age but works a treat on a wealth of other materials/contexts including tri-bars, handlebar grips, bottle/carrier and fender mounts 

Elsewhere, The Teenage Dream was roused from hibernation with a set of these Fibrax Xtreme weather pads and I took this opportunity for a quick tyre swap in favour of those 25mm Freedom thick slicks-pretty much filling clearances to capacity while the pads stopping prowess saw me sit up and take notice. Perfect for winter trainers, I’d like to put their cantilever versions to the test on a laden tourer-just by way of comparison and mountain bikers will be interested to hear they’re also available in a V brake compatible format. Clever self-cleansing channelling uses rainfall to prevent muck/grit accumulating and scouring sidewalls-great news for less vigilant riders but those with swanky composite hoops will need to look elsewhere. Loquacious probing couldn’t reveal anything of their exact composition-apparently it’s a trade secret and native to Wales….