Kitchen Sink Drama

Kitchens double as fantastic workshops-fresh running water, kettle food, TV/radio and similar creature comforts. Returning from the midlands with new laptop, I decided there was no better way to start the week than reassembling my beloved Mk2 Ilpompino.

Having carefully reintroduced headset cups, seat collar and bottom bracket shell, everything came together pretty effortlessly, although by midday focus was waning on account of telephone calls and encroaching hunger. By this point, only the front brake needed dialling in but I’d earmarked other, pressing deadlines for the afternoon. 

Tuesday was deeply frustrating, spent awaiting a courier and responses to urgent emails-neither of which arrived until late that afternoon, though thankfully I managed to keep a 4.45 appointment. By 1800 the disc was sorted and home brewed frame preserve sloshing inside the Ilpompino’s inner sanctum.

New seasons’ clothing and lighting needed putting through its paces and I don’t require enticing where kit testing’s concerned. I was also pleased to discover decathlon had sent me a G-Eye2 escape under warrantee. This seems a marked improvement over its likeable predecessor. Fittings/accessories are GO-PRO pattern, so thus far, everything, including the weatherproof casing plugs straight on.

A quick, cursory play later, I mounted it on the Ilpompino’s handlebar extension bracket, engaged lights and headed out. Just as Tuesday was concluding on fairly positive notes, while grinding along a greasy, dung strewn gradient, we sliced through a cowpat heavily impregnated with hedge clippings…

The Vittoria voyager hyper unleashed a loud petulant hiss, blowing raspberries with every revolution. Despite being narrow, large trucks often take this route to small industrial units, so a suitable clearing was imperative if I wasn’t to become another piece of roadkill.  

Finding a safe, sheltered spot, I rummaged through the wedge pack. No CO2 inflator!!!!...A wave of panic subsided upon finding the Specialized midi pump, spare tubes and my favourite BTwin tyre levers.

The eerie silence was broken by a woman’s voice. “Excuse me, have you got a puncture?” Despite the Sigma Evo Pro lamp’s considerable power, I couldn’t pinpoint her location but presumed it must’ve come from the cottage opposite.

“Yes, but its fine-thank you” I replied, an early 80’s Godley and Cream track “Under your thumb” suddenly filled the backdrop as my imagination went into overdrive. I wouldn't mind but there's still a few weeks until Halloween.

Even in standard mode, the Sigma Evo Pro’s has sufficient bite for spirited backroad scratching and I was particularly grateful for its prowess as I removed the front

wheel, extracted the wounded butyl and began scrutinising the Vittoria’s casing for embedded sharps.

Ten minutes later, wheel reinstated with a useable 60psi, I resumed my twenty mile loop. Petitioning the god of punctures with prayer seemed to help. Kenda thorn-resistant tubes are my first line of defence, rolling resistance is more apparent given their relative heft.

However, their valve stems are too short for deep section rims, so I may opt for something impregnated with green goo if this scenario becomes more prevalent into winter.  Time to replenish the otherwise superb faux leather Mpart bar wrap. Hmm, what will it be?...

 

Spring Has Sprung-Seize It!!

Issue 6 of Seven Day Cyclist (www.sevendaycyclist.co.uk http://www.pocketmags.com/searchresults.aspx?search=Seven+Day+Cyclist) has just hit the digital newsstands. We’ve a thorough test of the Genesis Croix de fer 2.0, a Hope hydraulic brake service, an interview with Martyn Brunt Sustrans’ NCN manager, tours, products and lots more besides.

Chill Easter weekends are something of an institution on these shores but a blaze of spring-like conditions have swept in behind, prompting resurrection of my Geonaute G-Eye action camera. Image quality and ease of use are definite plus points given the modest outlay but let down by a protective polycarbonate housing, incompatible with Go-Pro patterns, which has made handlebar mounting trickier than necessary.

A threaded base would’ve enabled direct fitment to this Minoura (easily the best mount I’ve come across); or surprisingly effective bodge bin specials made for pennies from old blinky brackets, assorted screws, nuts and washers.  Maybe, I’ll find another casing on ebay; or the patience to file the existing unit’s lug so it will mate nicely with Go-pro pattern brackets. Reportage will be fair weather for the time being.

The National Society for The Protection of Cruelty to Cleats (NSPCC) would’ve been pressing charges if they’d caught sight of these dog earned patterns. 

Months of neglect, salty coastal roads and constant di/engagement, it was small wonder they’d lasted this long.Suspiciously easy exit suggested I was pushing my luck-especially on the fixers and the arrival of these Stiletto white XLC proved the decider. 

Murphy’s Law dictated that every last trace of grease had been whittled from the screws, locking them in a passionate tryst with their hosts (the universe’s way of telling me not to be so self-righteous!) Mercifully a blast of penetrant spray and Torx driver secured their release without resort to drilling.

Packet fresh WP98A spun home (fasteners fed a generous dollop of ceramic grease!) and feet engaged with that familiar “Clack” we were off on these “Stiletto” white XLC pedals.

Closer inspection suggests they’re rebadged and painted Wellgo WP801; albeit without the magnesium options. No bad thing since these Ritchey Logic homages were delightfully faithful-I ran a red pair for several years on “The bird shit special”- my much loved 1X8spd cross inspired MTB workhorse.

They even became my go-to set when testing bikes-until someone pilfered them. Over the years, I’ve run worthy patterns giving change from £17 but the XLC’s casting and bearing quality seems decidedly superior. Cro-moly axles feel a wee bit stiffer under explosive acceleration and sustained honking too.

Powder coating is an obvious choice for pedals when properly applied-it’s cheap, rugged and generally very attractive. White can be a very tricky customer since there’s so little pigment. 

Inexperienced sprayer will apply too much powder in an attempt to counteract this, resulting in an orange-peel effect. No trace of that here. Obviously, the cleats are digging in at localised points but there’s no suggestion it might flake or peel further along the line.

Muc-Off have also sent me their latest “Hydrodynamic” lube, which is reckoned to be the ultimate all conditions lube particularly to suited to cross and road duties. Theoretically, it has the stamina of a wet lube but with superior cleanliness and friction.

Exact composition is Coca Cola secret but apparently petrochemical free, so won’t hurt aquatic life or otherwise pollute the environment. In keeping with others of this new breed of super lube, recipient chains need to be surgically clean before a drop is spilt.

From the spout it emerges with a blue taint and has a four hour curing period (I find overnight is ideal) whereupon it assumes a clean but glossy state-similar to those fortified with PTFE but much cleaner. 

Hydrodynamic has clung to my Ilpompino’s stainless steel chain very convincingly-often lubes can migrate to the slippery metal’s outer plates. Eighty miles in and I’m certainly warming to its potential but at this end of the market, I’ll be disappointed if it doesn’t return at least 500 variable weather miles per re/application.

With the longer evenings, it’s easy to overlook lights and then get caught out by a deviation/puncture or good company. I’ve noted several riders- experienced enough to know better, succumb to dusk’s unexpected curtain recently. 

Always pack a set of blinkies just in case-they’re potent, dirt cheap and could save your life. Right, there ends my public service announcement-I’m off to put an assortment of bike washes through their paces-see how the cope with various genres of gunk.

  

Toil n’ Trouble: Eight Inches from Disaster

Having reached the stage in our collaboration, where progress now remains in the hands of a third party, I’ve been immersing myself in testing new, seasonal kit and other distractions. 

Some folks consider full length mudguards (fenders) an affront to their street cred but aside from serving ‘cross or mountain bikes, there’s nothing cool about that filthy racoon stripe along your back (or the bike’s most intricate regions saturated with corrosive silt).

Axiom Road Runner LX reflex enjoy some genuinely innovative features that make installation to less conventional configurations refreshingly easy. Designed with ample coverage for 35-38mm tyres; these will suit the latest generation of civilian cross builds doubling as weekend tourers, trainers/club bikes during the off-season.

Assuming you didn’t want to take the zip-tie route, fitting to framesets with mtb inspired wishbone rear triangles, such as On-One’s earlier Ilpompino and Planet X's Kaffenback series demands drilling the chrome plastics, negating time-saving convenience of pre-fitted stays.

Doing so also voids the lifetime warrantee, although a moot point given their quality and since I also like mounting dynamo/battery lamps here too.   

Other modifications will include 3M reflective stickers given the lack of pin-striping that makes a surprising difference to nocturnal safety-especially combined with reflective tyre walls. However, this is all minor stuff-the guards themselves have lovely profiles and should retain their looks several years’ down the line.

Stainless steel hardware might be expected these days, though quality still varies. These seem similarly top-notch, responding positively to gentle manipulation and shouldn’t succumb to the salt monster’s first lick.   

Autumn and winter calls for different lubes and I’ve been sent plenty of lovely chain lotions in the past few weeks. All seem pretty impressive in terms of economy, drivetrain efficiency, cleanliness and longevity.

However, I’ve found myself particularly endeared to Carbon Pro’s composite friendly, biodegradable range based on highly sophisticated vegetable fats. Admittedly, there’s a price tag differential that some riders may find difficult to swallow, given the astounding value that some mineral oil/ PTFE blends offer.

Less of an issue for tarmac warriors perhaps but the latter aren’t particularly kind to waterways and aquatic life, which is a consideration sans asphalt. “Environmentally friendly” is no longer synonymous with below par performance and thus far, I’m gobsmacked by their cleanliness and staying power compared with petrochemical competition. 

Sustainable sources are an obvious choice for the eco-system but alternatives to fossil based fuels has the potential to diffuse (though not eliminate) the perpetual clamouring and conflicts arising from control/ownership of crude oil reserves.   

After some deliberation, I plumped for mounting the Geonaute atop, rather than to the side, which would leave it more vulnerable to crash damage, especially along slippery carpets of mulched leaves.

This delivers decent, shake-free footage when angled correctly, although makes selecting  functions on the fly a little tricky and explains why Go-Pro have taken the touch screen route on their Hero4 .

Ironically, the Geonaute’s li-on cell depleted just as an elderly woman cut the corner of a junction, on my side of the carriageway…

Everything unfolded in slow motion, I felt a powerless bystander as the silver “A” class Mercedes seemed unable to stop, or change course. Tyres rasped against the wet tarmac and collision averted by a matter of eight inches. Cocooned within shock, I allowed her to pass and was subjected to her indignant rant about “looking where I was going!!!”

Staying with cameras, I took the opportunity to acquire some more equipment during another visit to Britain’s former industrial heartlands. I’d been resisting temptation on the “want, not need” basis despite temping very close to several camera dealerships.

I’d been hunting a Sony Alpha (Minolta) mount wildlife lens for some time, though couldn’t justify the lion’s share of £1,000 for a showroom fresh example. In swept serendipity and this 400mm Tokina.

Contrary to popular misconception, lenses are generally very durable, lasting many years with basic care/sensible storage. Bodies manage eighteen months before collecting their pensions in commercial contexts.

Telephotos of this focal length aren’t an everyday item either, thus buying used makes better business sense. Fancy a favourably priced 55-200mm example for my NEX5 too, expanding its street and sports potential in situations where SLRs are just too intrusive/unwieldy. Then again, this very much hinges on other developments…   

Reportage!

The 32gb Micro SD card’s arrival coincided with my own, somewhat reluctant return from the marvellous midlands…

K-Edge and modified Delkin Brackets seem to be doing their thing handsomely, although given the levels of distortion, I’m now convinced resin handlebar tidies/extension beams aren’t ideal platforms. Thankfully the padded leather bar wrap proves a better host. In any case, I picked up a model specific helmet kit while mooching around Decathlon on Friday evening.

This present spec would bring the total cost to around £150, though includes the biggest card possible, some lateral thought and experimentation. Like the idea of a plug in LCD screen but this is a luxury for another time-if at all.

I

mage and build quality continue to impress and functions are intuitive, allowing easy operation, even when hurtling into hairpin descents. However, I need to resolve low-level vibration before its true potential is realised, or anything serious committed to you tube.

Talking of tubes, the resin end of my uber long workshop tyre fitting wand mysteriously fractured, so I contacted Cyclo’s distributors, seeking to purchase a replacement directly.

Despite being a couple of months outside of warrantee, Weldtite kindly sent me another free of charge along with some other “taster” products. A lovely gesture and means I can resume effortless tyre (or indeed, tire) swapping.  www.weldtite.co.uk

Elsewhere, we’re reaching the penultimate stages in our collaboration, so hopefully herculean effort will translate into tangible reward very, very shortly.   

       

Candid Camera

Helmet cams have always stirred mixed emotions in me. For the most part positive-the quest to document rides in their full 1080HD glory. GO PRO’s various generations have become pretty much the standard by which all are judged and I was really impressed by the Hero2 a couple of years back. 

However, choppy financial waters precluded purchase and last year’s end of line Delkin Wingman indulgence proved false economy.

Thirteen months hence and I’m eager to avoid throwing good money after bad, yet enticed by a sub £100 Geonaute boasting 1080HD, 5mpxl stills and user-friendly design... 

Now, direct comparisons with GO-Pro’s Hero series are perhaps inevitable, although misleading-rather akin to comparing entry level and enthusiast CSC cameras. Image quality is very good, though not in giant killing territory, colours aren’t quite so accurate and vignetting’s apparent in certain lights. Build seems reassuringly sturdy- I’d rather pay extra for a bolt-on LCD playback screen and protective casing than see corners cut structurally.  

Minoura Le Korde proved a delightful handlebar host for dry weather reportage but the G-Eye escape’s centre mounted lens is incompatible with Hero and Wingman polycarbonate shells alike, so you’ll need to invest in a model specific unit.

Supposedly water resistant to 60metres, it seals completely tight, precluding attachment to mini bar pods…Experimenting with some redundant (though complete) blinky brackets came close, yet ultimately unsatisfactory thus I resigned myself to shelling out a further (and final!) £20 on this nicely machined K-edge “Go big” aluminium unit.

Much better than watching my new companion expire in a series of R2D2 esque bleeps come the first hint of drizzle or exploding on contact with terra firma. Alas, I must confess these optical investments were borne from a series of near misses and “Punishment Passes” yet I’m hopeful engaging reportage stuff will prove its staple diet. Knog are due to launch an LED lighting companion for nocturnal filmmaking this autumn-something I was quick to register interest in-hopefully I’ll get chance to put one through its paces very soon.  

To the uninitiated, “punishment passing” is an act of intimidation used by some drivers to communicate their contempt for cyclists. This takes several forms, though usually involves overtaking with, or swinging back prematurely, leaving inches, sometimes less to spare.

The latest encounter involved a long wheelbase Mercedes Sprinter van emblazoned with tarmac supplier’s livery passing a hairs’ breadth from my handlebars (along a series of tight bends no less). Happy to give them and others some free publicity here; or via you-tube.  

Staying with commercial vehicles a moment, I found myself equally confounded by a communication informing me that a “global logistics company” who regularly drive by and occasionally deliver to my house, cannot find me and need directions! Hmm, no-one else, let alone the larger, established firms have any trouble whatsoever. While generally a constructive, pragmatic soul, I won’t entertain incompetence-especially on a professional level. 

Summer doesn’t officially end until October 31^st, yet it’s beginning to feel peri autumnal here; temperatures and daylight dip quite suddenly past 20.00, turning one’s mind to lighting. I recently completed a long term test of this One23 Extreme bright 1000 for a new publication and it’s yet another illustration of how competent, yet affordable contemporary high power systems are.

Once burdened with hefty, temperature sensitive lead acid cells that returned 2, maybe 3hrs from a full eight hour mains charge. These days £80 buys bijous li-ons capable of fuelling 1000 lumen lamps for nigh on four hours and 15 in the lower, which is capable enough for speedy semi-rural navigation, let alone cross town commuting.

Cheaper lens and reflector components mean some compromises where beam purity’s concerned and a few £150 plus 650 lumen models produce higher quality light, thus it wouldn’t be my first choice off-road. However, there’s ample clout for spooky unlit lanes to around 28mph.

Some will argue this is relatively expensive in the global age. Yes, you can get lucky, acquiring outwardly identical designs for considerably less. However, quality of output varies and electricals/charging equipment won’t necessarily meet domestic standards either. Official imports are easily replaced or repaired under warrantee and provided you’ve proof of purchase, competent local bike shops/distributors will handle any warrantee woes.

Attending the capital to watch one of Kate Bush’s live theatrical masterpieces persuaded me to bring my less desirable travel compact along. This was remarkably liberating since it still takes decent images yet is old and (relatively) inexpensive not to instil the same theft anxiety associated with CSCs. 

Alas, the enigmatic performer stipulated no unofficial image-taking (stills or otherwise) I was still able to sneak eighty odd photographs of well and poorly laden/ secured machines within an hour to illustrate further, forthcoming features. 

Muzzies, Mods & Movies...

I was meandering through Flickr the other evening when I happened upon a very fetching blue steel Marin Pine Mountain complete with moustache bars. Voluptuous; though not to extremes, its On-One Mungo stirred a yearning to revise the Univega’s cockpit. Generally endeared to the existing WTB/Salsa configuration that offers commendable rigidity and control in most contexts, said swooping revision might reduce fatigue on longer runs.

Cursory inspection suggests they may also demand a loftier, stubbier stem (35 or 40mm) and longer cables, since controls sit further forward. Hence, contact point popped in one’s virtual basket, I went foraging for a 35 degree 60cm version of their 3D stem but to no avail. Still, something’s bound to materialise when I’m least expecting it-watched inboxes and all that…    

While working on a winter-prep piece for a new, soon to launch publication, the Teenage 

Dream’s rear Miche dual pivot calliper developed an unexplained, intermittent binding habit. Short, liberal blasts of maintenance spray to the springs and inner housings failed to exorcise this demon, hence cable replacement and Sugru detailing, which has silenced irksome bottle chatter/tenure, especially across inclement surfaces. Incompetent, negligent people are one of my greatest bugbears, not least when they’re operating one ton plus of steel.

At approximately 11am on Tuesday (15^th July), I was negotiating a series of tight bends on the return leg of an hours’ blast when a cobalt blue Audi (BF12 XCV) swept past with inches to spare before wantonly swerving into our path. Water off the proverbial duck’s back in many respects but still decidedly unsettling. I am also fairly certain he was trying to provoke a response and that there was “just cause” for this behaviour- been laid off/ passed over for promotion/lost a bet/partner said “no”.

Two riders travelling in the opposite direction confirmed he appeared to point the vehicle squarely at them. Being wary of falling into the pop psychology trap, anecdotally it appears an increasing minority of drivers just seem to have psychotic tendencies and can largely behave as they please since road traffic legislation is extremely lenient and the authorities reticent to act. (“He was asking for it your honour, dressed in those tricolour (blue/white/black) bib shorts”)

Studies undertaken by the motor/cycling press some twenty odd years previously suggest there is something in the psyche of some drivers that regards “enthusiast” riders a challenge to be duelled with- put in their place perhaps?

You Tube hosts countless encounters and I can fully appreciate why. Well timed-explosive yells are an excellent release of tension, though red rag and bull spring to mind when some wronged riders advise said behaviour is being filmed and shortly uploaded to said medium. I miss not having a decent helmet camera-not for policing others behaviours but capturing rides in their full glory.

My last purchase was decidedly disappointing, not in terms of image but rather, build quality and manufacturer indifference. Essentially, I should’ve spent more, rather than invest in a discontinued line. Go Pro’s Hero is very much a benchmark and with good reason, though Garmin Virb Elite looks capable of delivering comparable performance for a few dollars less. Impulse buying is something I strive to avoid, although am apparently unable to resist silicone blinkies.

Bought these three from a Chinese supplier for £1.25 each, only to discover faulty switches-powering down necessitates battery removal. Thankfully, this new range of commuter lights from a well-known distributor based in derby has just arrived. Now to find an illustrator for my children’s stories and some models for another project…  

    

Meandering through the monsoon: Helmet cams, Secret compounds & portable detonators…

Rain has remained a consistent metaphor for my somewhat downbeat mood these past few weeks but maybe it’s just a question of skies being darkest before dawn. A publisher popped up from behind the proverbial parapet keen for the book project to take off, subject to contact. Heartening though this is, congratulatory backslapping does not a book write. Sat under the shade of Uncle Benny’s Veranda, guzzling diesel strength coffee, we happened upon a light bulb cash-flow solving moment. I have a long held fascination for pattern parts, specifically electronics and am seriously looking into importing some for commercial purposes…speaking of electricals, I’ve been mightily impressed by the original Go-Pro Hero HD helmet cam.

Arguably superseded by its MKII sibling, build and image quality remain top notch, especially in 1280x960 mode thanks to a wide-angle f2.8 lens. Documentary filmmaking prowess aside, its had a very positive effect upon driver etiquette. All but the most ignorant/unlicensed/uninsured (and therefore untouchable) overtook and approached with greater courtesy. That said, it’s widely acknowledged that in tense inner city neighbourhoods, violent conflict can be sparked simply by a motor/cyclist making greater progress through stationary traffic, let alone potentially criminal driver behaviours being recorded. Generally user-friendly, it requires several trial runs for intuitive function and consequently, I lost some potentially hilarious footage on those initial outings. Similarly, it’s a little hefty worn atop a lightweight road lid longer than ninety minutes, so I’m eager to get hold of the recently launched handlebar mount.

Our celebrity culture isn’t a new phenomenon, people see a camera and either call the authorities, or loose all inhibitions. Two teenagers approaching me couldn’t have drawn more attention to themselves if they’d sported colossal white beards and red tunics. Even those who wouldn’t so much as manage a grunt couldn’t resist a breezy holler and one chap even indulged in a bit of ad-hoc business promotion (didn’t have the heart to tell him I’d got the weather and therefore, soundproof backing in situ!).

Extensive praying to the god of blowouts brought some lovely goodies. These Panaracer Ribmo arrived for the Univega courtesy of their UK importer (www.zyro.co.uk). Three hundred miles or so through flooded roads has left a very positive impression, although their profiles are closer to 1.6 rather than 1.75 inches as denoted on their sidewalls. This hasn’t negatively affected performance, especially cantering across metalled road but called for tyre levers when persuading their folding versions aboard common or garden cross country mtb rims. In the wake of this latest wave of terrorist paranoia, perhaps this beautifully executed Lezyne micro floor drive pump could be mistaken for a plastics explosives detonator when cadging a lift on the bottle bosses and perhaps best stowed away in the panniers. Subversive humour aside, its mightily efficient to a genuine 120psi, which is sufficient for all bar top-flight tubulars. However, care must be taken to avoid accidentally triggering the bleed valve when disconnecting the hose.

A fresh set of fetching Fibrax gear cables have brought renewed vigour to the tubby tourer’s shifting and I’ve resuscitated its cheap but oh so cheerful blinky whose switch had succumbed to the recent Bollywood monsoon conditions. Dismantled and left to dry at room temperature, I administered a slathering of Vaseline to the internals and repaired a hairline crack where seal and lens meet using Effetto Mariposa Carbo Grip. Essentially, it’s a sophisticated silicone resin assembly spray, designed for the modern, composite age but works a treat on a wealth of other materials/contexts including tri-bars, handlebar grips, bottle/carrier and fender mounts 

Elsewhere, The Teenage Dream was roused from hibernation with a set of these Fibrax Xtreme weather pads and I took this opportunity for a quick tyre swap in favour of those 25mm Freedom thick slicks-pretty much filling clearances to capacity while the pads stopping prowess saw me sit up and take notice. Perfect for winter trainers, I’d like to put their cantilever versions to the test on a laden tourer-just by way of comparison and mountain bikers will be interested to hear they’re also available in a V brake compatible format. Clever self-cleansing channelling uses rainfall to prevent muck/grit accumulating and scouring sidewalls-great news for less vigilant riders but those with swanky composite hoops will need to look elsewhere. Loquacious probing couldn’t reveal anything of their exact composition-apparently it’s a trade secret and native to Wales….