Condor Man

No, not the 1981 Disney flop, starring Michael Crawford, although  we do live in very strange times... After a morning's admin and housework, I was suddenly gripped by a flash of inspiration. The sort so bright, it risks a nasty case of arc eye.  

I decided to ditch the Univega's long serving moustache bars in favour of the Soma Condor. https://www.sevendaycyclist.com/soma According to my thought processes (I hadn't reached calculations, or anything so rational), the riser sections would provide sufficient height for me to spend the majority of my time on the drops... 

With this in mind, the Soma Condor 2  https://www.sevendaycyclist.com/soma-condor-2-shallow-drop-bars  might've seemed a more obvious choice. However, though I'd run both, briefly on my tubby tourer, to assess Soma's claims (which were realised in the real world) the moustache bars had become something of an institution...I'd also convinced myself they had an edge, when on trailer tugging duties.  

I'd also earmarked the MK1 for a gravel-specific project and the MK2 for my fixed gear winter trainer. Then came the Genetic D-Riser 16   https://www.sevendaycyclist.com/genetic-d-riser-bars  and another round of musical handlebars. Besides, the Univega has a predominantly black/dun colour scheme. Contrary chap that I am, I may switch to the Condor 2, later on, should the urge strike. For now, the Condor's black finish clinched it. 

Spare inner and outer cables-check, spare bar tape-check, electrical tape-check. This was also an ideal opportunity to give this Soma Woodie 20 Multi-tool a formative test. Strictly speaking, multi-tools are designed for road/trailside teaks/tuning and repair, not workshop use. However, they are super-convenient, so good ones tend to become go-tos. 

Within half an hour, I'd everything rounded up, bike in the stand and components stripped. I'd removed a shim or two, when switching back to the Univega's OEM triple butted fork, but close scrutiny suggested height and drop depth were textbook. 

I pruned some outer cable housing, fed a new inner wire to the front Genetic CX cantilever  https://www.sevendaycyclist.com/genetic-cx-cantilever-brakes and dialled it in a bit. Ample bite to raise the rear wheel, lever grabbed in anger-perfect.  

I was able to recycle this Lizard Skins DSP 2.5mm https://www.sevendaycyclist.com/lizard-skins-dsp which was of sufficient length to provide ample, cushioned coverage. The adhesive backing was conspicuous by its absence, although adhered well, to the bars' shot peened finish. 

Decent quality electrical tape anchored it to the tops.  Having dialled in the rear mech again and pruned its cable, it was time for one last once-over and a 20mile fault finding blast. 

No faults to find-positioning absolutely bang on and as I'd always envisaged back in 1987, when I first clapped eves on a Muddy Fox trailblazer. The Trail Blazer was essentially a drop bar mountain bike with  bar end shifters and 1.75 section tyres.  

Specialized followed suit two years later, with the Rock Combo. These were similarly niche, and had a very short production run.  Feel free to get in touch, if you still own and ride one. I'm not looking to purchase, nor am I someone bitten by "classic" prices and groupsets have come a long way since. However, I loved the concept then, and still do.    

Anyhow, the Univega's positioning now means I default to the drops, affords better protection from the wind (Compared with the otherwise likeable moustache pattern) while retaining good control off road. Tops also provide superior parking space for lights, cameras and similar creature comforts.   

Talking of which, I've also switched saddles, this time to BBB Echelon, which is reputedly a road and trail friendly design, thus meets the criteria handsomely. Also proved the ideal opportunity to remove the seatpost, and treat it to some Park Tool Polylube 1000 Grease, before the darker months set in. 

A home-brewed butyl collar and full length chrome plastic guards/fenders (depending on where you're reading this) certainly help, but its one of those little, preventative measures that saves a lot of time and hassle, later on.     

Good Vibrations

Two weeks’ continuous service cemented my suspicions, namely that adopting a shorter stem and moustache bars would transform comfort and handling in most contexts. Sharper steering keeps things the right sort of interesting, without becoming a handful when haring along hairpin descents with beloved Revolution Cargo full to its thirty five kilo brim.

Spotted another one tethered to an equally hard working GT (note Magura HS33 raceline brakeset) while on a quick supermarket mission this week. Thought the shot would come in handy for book and related projects that are on the cusp of fruition.

Back to those Mungo then…Loftier backswept contours improve one’s view of conditions ahead, yet still affording commendable relief from headwinds and other biblical stuff.

Conversely, they do place more weight on the ulnar region, low-level vibration becoming intrusive after two hours or so, provoking me to explore some additional insulation. 

I’ve reviewed countless commercial “underlays” in recent years and in fairness, most seem to work, though some are definitely better than others.Binding redundant butyl inner tube around the bars before dressing them is another useful (not to mention, thrifty) homely remedy. Ah, but disturbing the several times repatriated Cinelli and asking it’s weathered adhesive to bond convincingly with butyl was pushing our luck somewhat. 

Hence I’ve adopted a popular Audax trick, leaving it in situ and weaving that crisp, white Lizard Skins DSP strategically atop. Thrice mummified around the curves, it appears to optimise protection with a slightly funky, as distinct from frumpy aesthetic.

Contact points are by definition exceedingly personal and something I’m predisposed to tinkering with. Superficially I wasn’t remotely “taken” by this SR Becoz moderate men’s saddle-183mm at its widest point-forty millimetres wider than “ideal” for my sit bones. However, such dogma breeds its own kinds of myopia. Less aggressive configurations influence rider spine angle, in turn placing proportionately greater weight upon the saddle.

This would explain why Spa cycle’s buxom (168mm) B17 homage proved so compatible.  The Becoz is literally bursting with cutting edge, recycled/organic technologies. Steep, relatively tall steel rails won’t set anyone’s Lycra ablaze but are extremely well finished and those additional millimetres seem to have corrected a minor imperfection height-wise.

These are coupled to a clever set of supple, yet progressive elastomers absorbing minor road/trail buzz while the internal blend of polyurethane gel combine ample support without hindering tour-typical 85-100rpm cadences. Covers used to be a weak spot, particularly on the goo-filled breed where they could rupture during a spill (especially off road) leaving sticky, oozy remnants spattered across one’s finest Lycra.

Selle Royal has continued the unusual, ecologically friendly theme here too, fortifying the slightly rubberised texture with sustainably cultivated conifer wood flour. This latter ingredient seems to counteract irksome surfing, though has caused some thinner, super shiny Lycra to gather uncomfortably during the course of a ride and demands physically lifting (rather than shuffling) one’s derriere fore/aft.

On the flip side, it’s a boon when leaning back against the saddle, maintaining traction when negotiating long descents/looser surfaces. Curiously, the (164mm) athletic version only comes in male centric dimensions and on balance might’ve been optimal for said build. However, this experience serves to illustrate that not everything can be reduced to a series of formulas/calculations.

A recent spate of burglaries in this otherwise peaceful locale’ is a poignant reminder to review and bolster security. This needn’t involve colonies of CCTV but assessing things as a professional or opportunist thief might enables one to close certain avenues of potential attack.  

On some levels it’s ironic (given the prevalence of “community spirited curtain twitching”) that people’s behaviours are scrutinised with such intensity, yet these voyeurs mysteriously see and hear nothing during attempted/burglaries. (Don’t get me started on the omnipresent crescendo of barking dogs).

Naturally, these violations are met with eloquent choruses to the effect of “aint it awful”. Fear not, a neighbourhood watch group is coming into force, though again, I fear this says more about certain folks’ love of spearheading committees rather than pragmatic purpose.

Since time in memorial bikes have been thief magnets. I regularly introduce layers of complication be it a gamekeeper or upgraded/additional locking that will certainly slow their progress and hopefully deter. Simple measures like closing gates increases risks of thieves being seen/ heard/ disturbed, ditto laying pea-gravel/shingle or planting prickly foliage/trellis at strategic points.

Gates with solid centre panels might keep prying eyes out; though also provide those with low morals to "work" uninterrupted on the other side...

Datatag and similar hi-tech systems are another useful tool, though more in a stolen/recovered context. Slipping a piece of laminated card with name, date of birth, blood type and address inside handlebars and other contact points costs nothing-can be invaluable in this and accident contexts.

Cockpit Swaps & Brave New Worlds

Having acquired the necessary contact points, I returned from a much needed week of temping, determined to commence transplant surgery. Tubby tourer plucked from its slumber, I harvested fresh control cables, snips, tune-up stand, Allen keys and grease gun.

While hardly mechanically challenging, it’s time consuming nonetheless- unless you’ve gone the old school “Benotto” route, since even the best handlebar coverings become seemingly inseparable from their hosts given a few seasons. This two year old Cinelli EVA being no exception. However, firmly endeared to its combination of rugged materials and damping prowess, salvage was my preferred option. Twenty minutes hence, nimble fingers and perseverance saw both rolls free and intact.

Wholesale cable replacements were another hassle I sought to swerve. Previous estimation suggested a shorter stem would offset the Mungo’s more voluptuous curves, rendering this process unnecessary, so, brimming with optimism I slackened and slid the Microshift brifters free.

Unexpected complication awaited me elsewhere, courtesy of a headlock preload bolt system displaying early signs of galvanic corrosion. Full length mudguards and stout Teflon/ceramic greases give most things a sporting chance on daily drivers but the latter had vanished without trace.

Demon purged with assistance from Long T handled Allen key and maintenance spray; the Salsa/WTB combo was swiftly substituted for One23 and Mungos. Firmly focused, I introduced the Microshift Brifter, allowing sufficient slack for some minor, tool free manoeuvrings.

Cable length seemed operationally bang on (though may be trimmed in due course), confirmed by pumping the brakes and cruising fore and aft along the cassette a few times, while provocatively turning the bars. 

Alignment was pretty near too, verified with a spirit level and some tentative tweaking. Dynamo headlamp and other creature comforts, repatriated, narrow swift pattern saddle substituted in favour of Spa cycles broader Nidd (essentially a heavier duty B17 homage) transformation was almost complete.

I had some white Lizard skins DSP wrap doing something close to nothing but while extremely crisp and delightfully tactile, the black speckled Cinelli is infinitely more practical. Experience suggests better quality wraps tolerate several removal/fitments and Cinelli was no exception-I was even able to reuse the pre-existing electrical tape!

Formative impressions are extremely favourable, though care’s needed to avoid more pronounced brifters fouling brickwork, render and other abrasives when slipping through alleys and side entrances. Hence the Sugru end caps.  There’s also an element of “Hawthorne Effect”- any alteration either feels euphoric or alien for the first hundred miles or so…

Much has been made of Google’s new “driverless” vehicle, with business, innovation and skills secretary, Vince Cable and indeed many cycling forum participants calling for their widespread adoption. Superficially, removing driver error theoretically makes the roads safer but is this (or indeed, any technology) truly fool or tamper-proof and what of the wider, unspoken implications.

The early 1980s saw widespread embrace of robot spot welders in car factories, lowering labour requirements/costs, optimising efficiency and quality. Ah, but spot welding is a very simple, semi-skilled process and therefore easily programmed. Peugeot cycles adopted similar automated technologies on their mass produced HLE tubed framesets and OEM/factory built wheels are generally by machine too.

However, these automatons work to set tolerances. Artificial intelligence will doubtless render my comments (and workforces) redundant in the fullness of time but a good wheel builder or skilled welder will recognise optimum tension or weld penetration by feel/sight.  The same applies to vehicles-many driving instructors taught parking/manoeuvres by wrote-three turns to the right, one back etc. Once again, these have very limited horizons.

There is no doubt, this and other technology has been readily available in various forms for some time now, often transitioning from military applications (Collimator lenses used to guide lasers readily employed in modern lighting systems are prime examples). So therefore, vehicles could recognise motor/cyclists, pedestrians/other traffic and theoretically know (calculate) at what speed/distances to brake or pass from.

Longer term, this could literally change our economic landscape. Logistics firms would no longer need to recruit and retain skilled train, HGV and LGV drivers, couriers etc. Taxis could be similarly automated. Traditionally, there have been two voices to the argument around technological change. One suggests that people are liberated from hard, laborious and potentially dangerous jobs and will move into other spheres. Counter proposition points towards “dead trades”, wholesale redundancies with little opportunities for retraining.

Taking the car industry as an example, it was relatively easy for those from a craft/engineering grade to move sideways with relatively little retraining. A coachbuilder once said transition to CAD/CAM, programming roles, technical management fields was straightforward. Semi/unskilled track operatives faced a decidedly uncertain future. Traditionally a blue collar phenomenon, it has begun to impact upon the “professional” classes, who have found it harder to recover from this and previous economic downturns.

Talking of global economies is perhaps slightly contentious in an absolute sense, though politicians influence upon public life is dwindling and their tenure is likely to change from a full to part-time vocation. The 1990s witnessed many losses from the financial sector, some were quickly reabsorbed, others emigrated and retrained in completely different industries. This was something of a culture shock to many who viewed themselves recession and perhaps, future proof and may well prove a trend.

Muzzies, Mods & Movies...

I was meandering through Flickr the other evening when I happened upon a very fetching blue steel Marin Pine Mountain complete with moustache bars. Voluptuous; though not to extremes, its On-One Mungo stirred a yearning to revise the Univega’s cockpit. Generally endeared to the existing WTB/Salsa configuration that offers commendable rigidity and control in most contexts, said swooping revision might reduce fatigue on longer runs.

Cursory inspection suggests they may also demand a loftier, stubbier stem (35 or 40mm) and longer cables, since controls sit further forward. Hence, contact point popped in one’s virtual basket, I went foraging for a 35 degree 60cm version of their 3D stem but to no avail. Still, something’s bound to materialise when I’m least expecting it-watched inboxes and all that…    

While working on a winter-prep piece for a new, soon to launch publication, the Teenage 

Dream’s rear Miche dual pivot calliper developed an unexplained, intermittent binding habit. Short, liberal blasts of maintenance spray to the springs and inner housings failed to exorcise this demon, hence cable replacement and Sugru detailing, which has silenced irksome bottle chatter/tenure, especially across inclement surfaces. Incompetent, negligent people are one of my greatest bugbears, not least when they’re operating one ton plus of steel.

At approximately 11am on Tuesday (15^th July), I was negotiating a series of tight bends on the return leg of an hours’ blast when a cobalt blue Audi (BF12 XCV) swept past with inches to spare before wantonly swerving into our path. Water off the proverbial duck’s back in many respects but still decidedly unsettling. I am also fairly certain he was trying to provoke a response and that there was “just cause” for this behaviour- been laid off/ passed over for promotion/lost a bet/partner said “no”.

Two riders travelling in the opposite direction confirmed he appeared to point the vehicle squarely at them. Being wary of falling into the pop psychology trap, anecdotally it appears an increasing minority of drivers just seem to have psychotic tendencies and can largely behave as they please since road traffic legislation is extremely lenient and the authorities reticent to act. (“He was asking for it your honour, dressed in those tricolour (blue/white/black) bib shorts”)

Studies undertaken by the motor/cycling press some twenty odd years previously suggest there is something in the psyche of some drivers that regards “enthusiast” riders a challenge to be duelled with- put in their place perhaps?

You Tube hosts countless encounters and I can fully appreciate why. Well timed-explosive yells are an excellent release of tension, though red rag and bull spring to mind when some wronged riders advise said behaviour is being filmed and shortly uploaded to said medium. I miss not having a decent helmet camera-not for policing others behaviours but capturing rides in their full glory.

My last purchase was decidedly disappointing, not in terms of image but rather, build quality and manufacturer indifference. Essentially, I should’ve spent more, rather than invest in a discontinued line. Go Pro’s Hero is very much a benchmark and with good reason, though Garmin Virb Elite looks capable of delivering comparable performance for a few dollars less. Impulse buying is something I strive to avoid, although am apparently unable to resist silicone blinkies.

Bought these three from a Chinese supplier for £1.25 each, only to discover faulty switches-powering down necessitates battery removal. Thankfully, this new range of commuter lights from a well-known distributor based in derby has just arrived. Now to find an illustrator for my children’s stories and some models for another project…