Close Shaves

Bank holiday weekend arrived and with it the urge to be creative, yet address some smaller, irritating jobs which seem perpetually on the back burner. So, it was to a local dealer for a quick tension and very minor truing of the Univega’s front hoop and a new patch kit. The weather had been kind enough for many a fast paced early morning/evening blast on the Teenage Dream but being bank holiday, the forecast was indeed turning bandit, marking a return to the comfort of stout tyres and full-length mudguards (fenders).

Mercifully, the old school repair kit came complete with the supple, feathered edge type patches that sealed even the tricky holes running frustratingly close to the seams. However, we've since had another undignified front tyre flat several miles from home, suggesting either the rim-tape or tyre casing is at fault. For the meantime, the venerable On-One offering with small-flange hub has been reinstated meaning "Pissssphaaarp!" does not stop play (I'm loathe for rides to end on a sour note). Time has come to review the bottle mount situation on both Ninja Blue (That’s the Holdsworth for those of you not paying attention) and of course the Teenage Dream. With the blazing summer promised I’m going to need some commensurate refreshment, hence the quest for a decent quality, paint friendly clip-on cage and another set of Zefal’s Gizmos now gracing the latter's seat-tube..
Some of you will question why two sets weren't brazed on to coincide with refinishing. The short answer is because I didn’t want to spoil the integrity or originality of both frames knowing there were less invasive alternatives around. Admittedly, they’re not as plentiful as initially thought but rest assured there will be no stone, or indeed web-page left unturned. The best bet thus far, trumping the Zefal are from Rixen Kaul that entertain handlebar, frame and seatpost mounting but more about these another time.

Colour coordinated Genetic tug nuts have come my way for the Ilpompino along with some unexciting but extremely useful nylon rim-tape earmarked along with this super smooth Superstar sprocket for the Halo Aerorage wheelset. On the subject of Blazing, Messer Bydon & King (aka “The Blazing Saddles”) have said bon voyage to Blighty and begun their epic global adventure but not before Jamie managed to bend his alloy rack at the last minute, emailing yours truly asking if he could have this here Minoura. Naturally, I obliged, rushing it first class last Thursday morning in between taking photos of bargain basement but strangely alluring Muddy Fox mountain bike and trailer combo lashed to some very sturdy street furniture. The Minoura should survive pretty much anything bar the proverbial elephant hitching a ride and even then, being of a heavier gauge Cro-moly is of the sort easily repaired using rudimentary welding equipment. Long may their journey prove fruitful, full of stories to enthral the grandchildren and their beards rival those famously sported by ZZ Top.
Elsewhere, the mighty load-lugging beast of burden aka the Univega has had some quick transmission tweaks-most notably the pedals. A fit of bank holiday pique saw me swap the extremely sensible SPDs for these long in the tooth but much loved drum polished Look hailing from 1991. Bought in December that year for the Teenage Dream, the grey painted finish soon tired and so the princely sum of £8 saw them polished in the summer of '94. (Slightly ironic given the resin Lego type were acquired that same year for £10).
On the upside, stiffer shoes mean markedly better power transfer, most notable when sprinting for the lights or thundering along the lanes in the dead of night. However, for all their charm, I’m thinking something more versatile might be in order. Exustar offer a set of dual sided “Spinning” Pedals both Look and SPD compatible-basically meaning, despite an obvious weight penalty, you’ll never leave the house wearing the “wrong” shoes.
My sister, the most outwardly competitive and arguably personable of us has just won a “mountain bike” through a contest run by the local leisure centre. It was basically a challenge to see who could burn the most calories over a fortnight and she won-literally streets ahead of the other entrants and her next challenge is the London marathon-she's entered online this week so watch this space...
Decided to polish my pins for spring and moreover shorts. Fellas’ with smooth legs seem to excite women outside of the cycling fraternity-largely out of curiosity and sometimes from bewilderment. However, I found myself completely dumbfounded by the excitement generated from an old track pump. Little shocks or stops our mother in her tracks (Probably just as well given our assorted but unintentionally troublesome antics over the years) but we nearly fell off our chairs when she described the excitement said workshop inflator aroused in an office of young and indeed middle aged women. Much of it involved them inflating imaginary tyres to pressures that would blow a top flight tubular clean of the rim, whooping, cheering in a fashion more appropriate to a Go- Go’s concert. Suggesting that cycling shorts (or inserts in the case of baggies/courier knickers) should be worn sans panties/boxers proved surprisingly titillating and disappointingly immature from supposedly liberated and sophisticated folk. Perish the thought of dropping rubber solution or indeed the Obree position into the conversation…

Honey I shrunk the Tri Bars

On a mission to procure some of my favourite (and harder to find) organic cola, I happened upon this Holdsworth, which shows all the hallmarks of being from the same era as mine. Unable to contain my excitement I began taking a few select shots-albeit rather quickly so as not to attract unwelcome attention. It looks to be another Zephyr frameset complete with original, lived in livery and a hotchpotch of classic and modern parts suggesting it’s a much loved working bike and all the more beautiful for it. “Ninja Blue” is back in business courtesy of a new tube and compatible lock ring so we’ve been taking to the balmy spring roads-typically very early in the morning when the world and his wife are firmly tucked up in bed. Too stretched on the otherwise lovely aero bars, I’ve taken the decision to dial the reach in a bit. Cutting the protruding sections gives a sharper look to the cockpit while shaving a few grams into the bargain.
There’s a quaint English saying regarding busses-none for ages and then two come along at once. The same seems true of aero bars. Enter these Cinelli Sub 8 minis. As the name suggests they’re scaled down tri bars that look for all the world as if they’ve been shrunk in some 50’s mad scientist’s cartoon toy. However, for smaller riders and those like myself with proportionally shorter torsos they’re surprisingly comfortable. Objectively it’s disappointing to find an otherwise high end component is only compatible with standard diameter road bars (and fairly conservative designs at that) given oversized is increasingly the norm. Positioning them the optimum 150mm apart proved nigh on impossible thanks partially to the contours of the Salsa Bell-Lap that command the Teenage Dream and my own deceptively broad shoulder width. These factors demanded 180mm spacing, abandoning the polymer bridge in favour of traditional end plugs. As you’d expect at this end of the market, with comparable bars they contribute to a phenomenally rigid, dependable cockpit and the sandblasted finish provides adequate grip without recourse to tape-although this might be an option should the race day battle scars become too apparent. Another dandy piece of kit is this Altura bag. It affixes to the seat post courtesy of the legendary Rixen Kaul quick release bracket and swallows up to six litres and three kilos of stuff without flinching. The clever powder coated aluminium base keeps things rigid and means your minimalist road/track mount still handles as cleanly as it looks. Spare brackets mean it swaps between bikes in seconds but those of us nearer ninety kilos would be well advised to think twice about hauling anything close to the maximum payload. Although the stainless steel band is very nicely finished, put a slither of inner tube between bracket and post regardless-especially on carbon models.
Some of us run a fixed, often conversions as beasts of burden/hacks/working bikes whichever parlance you prefer and most of us will have encountered the anti bike contingent-they’re lurking around most office buildings and in my experience, there’s at least one in every firm. Regular readers will know I’ve no shame in looking like a refugee from the tour de France but my cycling wardrobe reflects a wider spectrum from the retro to the restrained and cycling kit that’s also wearable around town, for meeting clients, the bank manager or indeed friends after work without raising eyebrows or encouraging suspicious stares is worth it’s weight in gold.

The same applies to luggage. Most of the time, my waterproof expedition or smaller commuting panniers do just fine. However, sometimes you need something incognito for just the scenarios I’ve set here and in the main, this handy bike briefcase does just that. Again, those clever folk at Riken Kaul provide the fittings, angled in such a way as to give ample heel clearance. There’s a clever zip-flap concealing these off the bike too, which is a real bonus but I had some initial reservations fearing it might interfere with the spokes given it doesn’t completely detach. In practice this isn’t a problem and adds to the appeal. Elsewhere we've a removable padded 17 inch laptop insert, internal drawstring to keep everything bone dry in a downpour (although nothing’s 100% waterproof and I’m still of the opinion that laptops are better carried in messenger bags simply because they’re unaffected by vibration, poor roads and the general hurdy gurdy of urban riding). We’re nearing election time here in the UK and politicians of various ideological colours are trying to capture our imaginations and ultimately our votes. None particularly inspire me it has to be said but raised with a very strong belief that voting is something of a right and equally an obligation, I will exercise this democratic right come May 8th. None of the main parties have any particularly constructive or inspirational cycling policies and some of the more lunatic fringe make my blood collegiate. One such group (who shall remain nameless) are insisting cyclists would have to dismount at roundabouts and junctions by law.

Demonstrating an elephantine ignorance of the taxation system, they’ve made the assertion that cars have greater rights to the highway as their drivers pay for the upkeep through “road tax”. Hmmm. Winston Churchill abolished road tax in 1936 with expansion, repair and moreover upkeep of our highways and byways through direct taxation so car ownership is a red herring, an urban myth. Car excise duty is a completely separate tax and does not (much as some are happy to retain this confusion) contribute to the infrastructures' well-being. Now what better thing to be seen on than this 15lb titanium Burls? (Aside from a sub 15lb titanium Burls fixed of course.) The eagle eyed amongst you will not a semi sloping Colnago esque top-tube, aero down tube and the prevalence of KCNC components but being bespoke, you can have pretty much anything your little heart desires. Smitten? Get in touch with Justin (Justin@burls.com)

Imperfect Match

The long Easter weekend presented the ideal opportunity to do a little snagging, some of those irksome little jobs around the fleet that were relatively straightforward but required what might be termed "quiet time" to perfect and the Holdsworth was a case in point. Being a summer build with regular component revisions, the inevitable nicks had cropped up around the otherwise flawless "old boots tough" finish. Capable of resiting a hammer blow, powder coating forms a supple, protective skin around the metal. However, in high stress areas such as the seat tube, compression of the ears caused by tightening and tweaking of the binder bolt can result in flaking, betraying the protective silver chromate beneath.

5012 is not an uncommon colour but getting the exact shade proved tricky so I laboriously mixed a perfect match from these tins and applied it lovingly to the affected areas in the gentle April sunlight. While the first coat cured, the post arrived bang on cue with these fixed lock rings. However, my sunshine turned shady upon discovering neither would come close to breezing aboard the corresponding hubs. This was frustrating as I’d timed these little jobs to coordinate-especially since the house and time were unusually very much my own. Research confirmed encroaching suspicions that Miche require a dedicated type so I dropped Company Z, their UK importer a quick email to see if they could recommend, or better still, supply me with a compatible unit. No sooner had I powered up the PC and sent the email, the touch up enamel had dried sufficiently for a second application. Pedants will note the brush just caught the binder bolt but being chrome, any excess will lift clean off courtesy of a quick scratch from my fingernail. Half an hour in the temperate spring sun and the second coat was two parts cured so I hung the Holdsworth safely on its rightful hook in the workshop. Easter Sunday’s twenty mile morning blast certainly made best use of our seasonably changeable climate and saw me questioning not only my very brave colour scheme but more importantly, handlebar positioning. Upon returning home and reflecting in the kitchen with a cup of diesel strength coffee, I slackened the stem clamp and rotated the pursuit bars downward, in a more aggressive stance which also falls more naturally to hand. A fair bit of scouring (virtually and in person) suggests the ITM Olympus aero bars are obsolete to the point where spares are literally non-existent so I’ve pandered to my urges and secured these from the helpful folk at Greyville. Elementary and moreover, secure fitting coupled with easy adjustability wins them brownie points and even the computer still works perfectly, despite being moved and now somewhat askew of the sensor. I may well bind inner tube around the arms for greater comfort and further refine positioning but they could prove the fastest 500g I’ve added to said beast. The package arrved complete with reducing rubber shims meaning they can be migrated to the Teenage Dream or indeed any other machine with standard road bars should need arise.
Some would argue there are plenty of broadly similar and therefore, ITM compatible brackets lolling about thanks to badge engineering where two, or indeed more brands are identical, save for the decals. Now, I’m a real lover of experimentation and rummaging through the spares bin can reap great reward but as the lock-ring saga demonstrates, this can be rather akin to looking for a ruby in the proverbial mountain of rocks. Reverting to the arguably beautiful Nitto combo would make good use of the Race-Stick Spinacci copies but I upgraded the cockpit in the interests of shorter reach and improved rigidity for no-compromise hammering.
Spring snagging also tackled the Teenage Dream’s rear brake housing which has always been a fraction to short, resulting in the rear calliper binding when turning the bars sharply, carving into swooping descents etc. This also presented an ideal opportunity to upgrade the bar wrap. In fairness, there wasn’t much wrong with the entry level stuff that coincided with the New Year rebirth but the measure of good quality tape, aside from the obvious comfort, abrasion resistance and style is how often it can be peeled back and reaffixed. You get what you pay for and sadly, said budget brand tore despite being very gently peeled from the bars. It now sports some curious, if strangely tactile rubberised Lizard Skins wrap. This requires slightly higher levels of concentration to apply but promises unparalleled grip-even in torrential rain and I’m really looking forward to putting it to the test. Proof of the pudding is in the next few hundred miles…

Oh For The Want Of Taste, Lock-rings and Traditional Clubman’s Braces

Spring has indeed sprung and with it, much fettling of the fleet- new saddle for The Teenage Dream, lightweight aluminium sprocket and matching Pink Halo courier tyre aboard the Holdsworth's enviably smooth Miche rear wheel. Alas, we’re missing a lock ring so the full transformation (and a colour scheme guaranteed to question my masculinity) is on hold until I can acquire some cheap but very cheerfuls. However, we’ve reverted to the super smooth and aptly monikered EAI Superstar 16tooth sprocket seeing as the opportunity presented itself.

Joshua is steadily gaining confidence with his solo but it's just fractionally on the large side and I'm now certain, with a weekend's practice on a balance bike he'd have the basics well and truly licked. Seen a few nice ones but I'm reticent to purchase given the relatively short use-span so I'd be delighted to hear from any UK based readers willing to pass or loan one to me for a modest but fair price. One incident that certainly left little to the imagination occurred while testing these courier knickers-plusses by their more traditional, English name. They’re made from a fairly substantial cotton/nylon mix complete with double seat, soft elasticated leg-grippers with world champion detailing, rear pocket and elasticated waist. Fit is snug, not quite as chic say as the latest generation of ¾ lengths but completes the period look aboard a classic track/road bike, especially worn with the full retro ensemble- Merino wool jersey, shoes and of course, cap. They’re a little warm say for the height of summer-well, eighteen degrees plus at any rate and decent under shorts are a must for longer rides. However, the material repels water better than you’d expect, fleece lining keeps early season chill firmly at bay but whatever you do, invest in a set of braces. These have become as rare as the proverbial hens teeth with the dominance of Lycra bib tights/shorts and my last pair finally succumbed to both the dreaded sag and pitted chrome disease after eighteen years service.

Out for a blast along the lanes, periodically watching the asphalt as it blurred beneath me, I eased out of the saddle ready to conquer the climb (or so I’d have folk believe) when the elastic lost its embrace around my waist, leaving me flashing a lot more than a California smile. Mercifully the woman following in her Mondeo had a sense of humour! A pair of braces was purchased online before the close of business that afternoon. Saddles are another deeply personal matter and in my experience the distinction between road and mtb is often simply down to marketing. Selle Italia’s Flite is one such design classic transcending both genres and arguably a pioneer in the popularity of titanium as a mainstream saddle rail material. The Shiver is wider than my ideal and surprisingly that of the Rolls it replaces-at least on paper (300g does not set pulses racing in 2010) but low-weight and formula’s do not maketh the perfect perch (Sliding from the nose of a classic concor model and catching my fun-sacks squarely on the top tube of my converted Raleigh fixed back in the Summer of 1990 still induces watery eyes). Faux leather covers will appeal to strict vegetarians on an ethical level and being impervious to sweat/water won’t require periodic proofing to keep the hide supple. Manganese rails are worthy enough, siblings of the Cro-moly family oft confused with more exotic magnesium. Some commentators argue this is a deliberate ploy on the part of manufacturers but first impressions seem favourable. Making no secret of my relative disquiet when it comes to the long term health consequences of regular/prolonged exposure chemically brewed miracle cleaners, let alone their effect upon seals and other, more delicate finishes I am presently putting some of this Pedros “Green Fizz” through it’s paces. The foaming formula is claimed to clean all areas of the bike safely and on any surface or material-including carbon fibre. Early indicators are positive, gently removing a healthy layer of congealed marine grease and other light road spray from the Holdsworth’s rear hub and track sprockets. To date it seems gentle to most finishes, yet not quite as potent as some made from natural, citrus based ingredients. However, the next few weeks intensive testing will provide a more accurate measure of its capabilities, or indeed limitations.

Speaking of capability, a chance conversation with a friend has introduced another engineering firm who might be willing to undertake machining of seatposts- I've found a straight-cut, polished Campagnolo Victory which, in theory at least is easier to work on. Assuming said firm is happy to perform the surgery, I'll sell the Thomson and plough monies into another project. Watch this space.....

Missed Opportunities

Sunday morning brought with it a warm and temperate start-the sort I’d been clamouring for. Folding Vittoria freshly aboard the Ma2 wheelset, this was the ideal opportunity for enjoying the Teenage Dream. Setting off along the lane it became immediately obvious the computer’s head mount battery had died-a minor irritation given the sun's warm caress but with each passing mile, I longed to know some indication of speed as I churned along on the 53x12. Traffic was surprisingly busy for mother’s day but mercifully free flowing and relatively placid with ready precession of horse riders, runners and cyclists of various orientations. Mine was a brisk twenty-mile loop narrowly missing some grass roots local racing. Even more frustrating when my little compact Fuji accompanies me wherever I go, safely zipped away in a jersey pocket ready for precisely these occasions. Still, doubtless it'll be one of many as the spring calender gathers momentum. As a ready reckoner, hunkered down on the Spinacci, I had to be averaging a steady twenty, maybe more at a cadence around 90 but had no way of validating this. Life’s full of little disappointments and these quickly evaporated hammering toward home my mind focused on the ride, the machine’s sprightly nature willing me faster in the spirit of ’91-even if tractors were conspicuous by their absence. The shorter Woodman stem was a shrewd move, placing me just the right side of stretched sheltering on the Spinacci. Having witnessed some of the racing action with his grandmother, Joshua was hoping to hear tales of my own racing glory- he has a vague construct of my profession but then children often place their parents on lofty pedestals Ego firmly in check, I speak with some candour of my not-so-glorious racing career concentrating on the fun, the thrills and the odd spill. Tall tales can be riveting, told with a sense of timing, pace and context but gilding the lily isn’t big and it’s certainly not clever. Neither is losing an expensive and moreover, very nice aluminium pump- in this case a Zefal HPX light which bridges the gap between the traditional frame fit and mini type perfectly. Knowing it delivers a very respectable 115psi makes the loss-or hopefully, misplacement all the more frustrating since I’d spent Saturday morning tidying the workshop, purging it of old cardboard boxes and other useless clutter. Rifling through my bedside drawer produced a compatible three- volt replacement battery for the wireless unit. Alas, I had mislaid the wheel circumference in order to calibrate the unit properly with a 24mm tyre. Generic listings on websites are useful rules of thumb but where possible, a precision measurement is always nicer...just remember to note it down in a safe place for next time.
On the subject of measurement, I fear said machines Ti railed perch may be too broad for me across the base. Design classic or otherwise 150m is 7mm wider than my ideal and over longer periods, turning higher cadences is causing some uncomfortable chafing on my inner right thigh. However, this may have more in keeping with a missing insole, which corrects a slight inequality in leg length.

Selling some unwanted kit through various websites has brought out Ebay chancers in their droves. These are easily spotted going for keenly priced stuff, haggling over the price-even postage while insisting they’ll only trade through pay pal or by direct credit transfer- neither of which I am prepared to entertain.

Cheque or postal orders mean it’s harder for monies to go missing and protects the purchaser-it’s also my way of teasing out true intentions. I’ve nothing against people earning a living /additional income through Ebay but when I put goods up for sale, they’re intended for folk who genuinely want and will enjoy them not persons looking to make a quick buck.
Last week I mentioned Paul (Vincent) s latest creation and here’s a photo showing off the twin tube design in all its glory. Fashioned from fillet-brazed Cro-moly, the down and seat tubes are from ¾” T45 while the remainder is dependable 1” Dedaciai. Interested? Paul is based in the south west of England and can be contacted through me in the first instance.