Monday 12 December 2011

Out Of The Darkness And Into The Studio?...

We’ve now officially entered winter here in the UK (Canadian, Scandinavian and Eastern European audiences may now snigger freely). Up until recently it’s been unseasonably mild, the narrow winding lanes characterised by a glistening, greasy film of water channelled from the fields interwoven with layers of equine and bovine dung. Sticky under tread during the milder weather, this becomes a veritable skidpan when the mercury dips below zero-even 28mm section commuting rubber starts dancing the Samba. This largely explains why I’ve hardly moved from the Univega in several weeks- that and the fact I’ve been busily testing some dual-purpose on/off road kit.

The most exciting being Magicshine’s MJ816E- a retina ruinous front light capable of a whopping eighteen hundred lumens at full power, yet returning a consistent 105minutes from each three and a half hour mains fuel-up. Even allowing for the technological trickle-down, £135 for a system this powerful is remarkable. More surprising are the diminutive dimensions of both head unit and seat-post mounted battery (although if you were feeling flush and yearned for eight-hour playtimes, there’s always the option of a 17.4Ah bottle type). In real terms, there’s sufficient presence in flood setting for navigating rural backwaters at around 30mph, warning of ruts, holes and of course, excrement from around three hundred and fifty yards. Not impressed? Well, oncoming 4x4s dipped their beams from about four hundred yards and with all guns blazing; forest trails were easily tackled at 23mph.


Toggling between modes is child’s play courtesy of the clever handlebar mounted switch featuring an integral colour coordinated indicator, which automatically kicks down to conserve battery life- meaning you’ll always stand a sporting chance of getting home safely. However, careful positioning of the lamp is essential to prevent dazzling and potentially more serious injury to rabbits and other small mammals. The same rule follows through the suburbs and round town, dropping to the sidelights gives plenty of presence to at least 350 yards without being lost among the festive illuminations or causing undue distress to oncoming vehicles and pedestrians. Bonita (Sales@magicshineuk.co.uk) kindly supplied our sample but those of you living in a different corner of our globe might like to wander round to http://www.magicshine.com/ for a dealer closer to home. Winter also brings wet, smelly feet. Not everyone likes overshoes or indeed the bootie type road/mtb footwear. To address this particular affliction and therefore, potential social isolation, Stuffits have dropped their shoe-dryers on my doorstep. Basically,these foot-shaped inserts sit in the shoes overnight whereby the aromatic red cedar filling and dual wicking fabric outer suck the moisture out. This extends to the half a pint of sweat (probably more under strenuous riding) emanated by our tootsies, thus keeping odour at bay. Available in a choice of pink, red or black and in men and women specific sizes, early impressions seem favourable, supping away most of the moisture assumed in ninety minutes’ soggy riding in seven hours but I’ll add some more provocative elements to the mix before drawing final conclusions. If you can’t wait until then they’ll command a very reasonable £24.95.

Slipping into a seasonal lull isn’t an option for me and a lot of fellow freelancers seem sympathetic to this philosophy. Continued momentum and avoidance of creative paralysis induced by too much introspection is crucial. This might involve features planning and similarly familiar territory or something more grandiose. My late father wrote several books and without leaving myself open to overtly simplistic “A” level Freudian theory, I’d like to follow in his size nines. Potential collaborators have been only too keen to rally enthusiasm but to date haven’t delivered anything tangible so it may be a question of blazing the trail myself.
The other avenue I’m (cautiously) keen to pursue in an artistic/semi commercial context is fine art/model photography…Traditionally this has proved a minefield thanks to the falling prices of high quality camera equipment attracting the unfavourable “Guy With Camera” who has no other objective than to letch at women for his own personal and deeply sordid gratification. Stories concerning this particularly unsavoury genre of male are legend-the most poignant example being of a model looking to expand her fashion portfolio. Having answered an advert, she arrived at the address (A dingy back street flat) to discover she was expected to assume a wealth of “Glamour” poses (Despite expressing in no uncertain terms she was only prepared to do fully clothed catalogue assignments). When she refused to pose on all fours wearing nothing but a G-string, GWC showed his true, vile colours but thankfully she managed to make good her escape-unharmed.
Unfortunately, semi/professionals with proper credentials, location and a female chaperone to avoid compromised integrity are all too often tarred with this ruinously mucky brush. Running said risk, I would be interested in working with aspiring models on an images-for-portfolio basis in a UK studio setting. Models will need to verify they’re at least twenty-one years old (driving licence, passport or similar photo ID), bring a chaperone of their own and be prepared to sign a model release/consent form before shooting commences. Want to know more? Feel free to drop me an email: Roadpathtoenlightenment@gmail.com



















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