Death of a Wingman

Alas after a particularly spirited coastal ride atop my handlebars, an untimely, slow-speed spill saw my cutesy little camcorder friend choke seemingly to death, having ingested seawater. Despite concerted resuscitation efforts at the scene, he hasn’t so much as flickered since.

Now, I am culpable on two counts (sob) (a) having left his airtight polycarbonate house at home since I wasn’t planning on getting near the water’s edge or indeed anything more challenging than smooth singletrack. (b) I opened the casing in an attempt to avert disaster. Arguably the most effective means of voiding warranties perhaps but nonetheless I approached Delkin Europe, volunteering this information with a view to repair (at cost to yours truly).

Cynics will be rolling their eyes but in my experience, shaggy dog stories quickly become apparent and their purveyors treated with palpable contempt…Hmm yes, TIG welded 4130 mountain bike framesets failing catastrophically while “Just riding along”, rear mechs that suddenly fail after a fortnight. So that ten-foot drop-off hadn’t a hand in things…Bottom line, pros of any description aren’t silly, quickly spot tell-tale signs of abuse/neglect/tampering and are justly unappreciative of having their intelligence insulted.

A few polite emails later reveals these units are literally factory fit n’ forget, thus cannot be repaired in the event of impact or water damage. Ultimately, we couldn’t reach a mutually agreeable arrangement regarding a replacement  so with no hard feelings, I’ll put it down to experience and keep my eyes peeled for a comparable alternative. By contrast, that VDO X1DW literally hasn’t missed a beat these past few weeks and is much easier to install/calibrate than the plethora of cable ties might suggest. Solid, reliable technology and eleven functions provide plenty of useful data for generic training without feeling overly complex.

While busy, the display stops short of overcrowded-it took several outings before I noticed the little pacer arrow that sets an encouraging as removed from nagging tone. Unlike speed sensors, wireless cadence units still tend to be reliable by varying degrees, reliant upon magnets passing a hair’s breadth from their metaphorical mother ship. Attaching the former to differing profiles of crank arm seems to be another chore since zip ties show a tendency for slippage with subsequent loses of connectivity. Fear not, the VDO is very quick to announce this fact courtesy of a flashing zero tucked adjacent to current speed, though thankfully this vanishes after ninety seconds or so, thus not distracting rider attention, or spoiling an otherwise satisfying ride.

Creature of the night, I consider backlights invaluable and its omission a slightly disappointing oversight but one I’m prepared to overlook when build quality and asking price are factored into the equation. Elsewhere, the book venture has been gathering further momentum-managed to fit in another 3,000 words, which doesn’t sound particularly notable but little and often is markedly better than bouts of sporadic intensity. 

A pronounced silence from traditional publishers draws me ever closer to the world of electronic e-book type, something of a dent to my fragile male ego perhaps but having it languishing in hard drives and memory sticks isn’t an option. I laid down a personal challenge to get a book to publishable state before hitting forty-a milestone thing that would draw a positive line under the previous decade. Talking of which, having left theatre following corrective surgery to my crushed digit, a woman working in a quasi-nursing/patient liaison role blundered into the side room where I was decanting gowns in favour of street togs and seemed determined to probe. Like most people, I have some minor insecurity body-wise - scarring from welding and others acquired from cycling/motorcycling specifically.

For the most part I don’t give them a second thought, though she seemed oblivious to the verbal cues indicating that I wanted a few moments privacy to button my shirt. Had she asked if it were permissible to converse with me while I finished dressing, I could’ve gently asked her to leave but instead she continued to pry, focusing upon my age, what I was planning to do for my fortieth birthday etc. I’m also a little sensitive about my age these days but only in relation to attainment. Introspection of this kind was extremely unwelcome, however well-intentioned… 

Long steady evening saunters on the fixer have resumed, restoring my confidence accordingly. Much to my surprise, Purple Harry dry lube is also proving pretty competitive, returning 160 miles from a single helping. Unlike the Finish Line Ceramic Wax, it employs a plant based ethylene thickener, which remains pretty flammable, though has lesser environmental impact than boron nitride and similar petrochemical agents. Assuming you’ve introduced as per instructions, left curing for sixty minutes or so before heading off; staying power is surprisingly good. In common with other emulsion types a slightly grimy patina proliferates the links given thirty miles, whereupon it steadily flakes away, leaving behind a seemingly invisible PTFE coating yet no hint of that familiar metallic tinkling.

Contrary to some other markedly similar formulas it also works wonders on other interfaces, namely cleats, jockey wheels and even control cables without recourse to unexpected water displacer surgery on account of them gumming up given a week or so. Soggier conditions take their toll on outright longevity, dipping to sixty-five miles between top-ups when negotiating soft singletrack but reapplications in most other contexts can be direct sans chain bath/ scrubbing. These attributes shouldn’t be overlooked in a touring context either, though be prepared to reapply more frequently in damp and indeed humid conditions. Speaking of touring, you’ll have to excuse me; this here Raleigh Sojourn’s a calling…

Fixed (Almost Claims) Finger

This is one of those urban myth turns disturbingly real moments on a par with the infamous worn shoe cleat incident back in 2008. Having reverted to some 25mm thick slicks and given the Ilpompino a quick blow over with this here Purple Harry bike wash, I was cleansing the transmission with a cloth dipped in Shell’s finest when a moment’s distraction saw my index fingers sandwiched between revolving 1/8^th half-link track chain and razor sharp EAI sprocket.

Those initial seconds of panic suggested partially severed digit but ten hours in accident and emergency revealed “severe crush injuries”-fractured fingertip, badly damaged nail bed and related complications. To their credit, the empathy and professionalism shown by surgical and nursing staff was truly phenomenal and serves to illustrate how fortunate we in the UK are to have a national health service of this calibre. However, successive administrations have been eroding this precious resource, or undermining its credibility with frightening stealth.

Subsequent visit meant seven hours wait, thirty-five minutes under local anaesthetic as the surgeon skilfully flush the wounded area with saline and disinfectant before removing the nail bed, suturing damaged tissues. Since then I’ve partaken in a cathartic “hair of the dog” ritual, drizzling fresh lube into each and every link in much he same fashion as we might hop back on following a spill to prevent aversion/irrational fear taking hold. Having repatriated bike, workstand and assorted potions to their rightful place in the garage, it occurs to me that for the most part magic bike wash formulas are variations upon a relatively similar theme.

More aggressive types contain greater intensities of ionic surfactants, commonly found in domestic detergents, which while effective, can ultimately lead to streaking and in some cases corrosion around eyelets, sometimes plated/polished sections too. That said, this is easily countered with periodic furniture polish/polymer wax treatments. Gentler formulas are kinder, albeit higher maintenance-especially when witches’ brews of road specific grime’s involved.   

So, what have we learned from this particular tale of woe? Always use a long handled brush and turn the wheel, as apposed to cranks cautiously when fettling chains-that goes for single-speeds too- you have been warned. Hope this episode hasn’t spooked Joshua since he’s been revelling in two-wheeled freedom these past few weeks.

Incident aside, the majority of that week was spent aboard the Teenage Dream, which is as rewarding as ever to ride once I’d cured the Regina screw on block’s protesting pawl springs with a few drops of winter weight Weldtite wet lube and substituted the Prolite Cles for this droop snoot Selle SMP strike plus cutaway. The otherwise technically superlative grey polymer bar wrap has started looking decidedly jaded-hence will be superseded by these rather ravishing Ritchey reels but that’s about the extent of modification. Oldie but goodie, we dropped two macho boys who drew alongside with a competitive stance while said twenty something and I whizzed serenely through the twisties. Regular Thursday nighter’s who’ve shown laden Univega and I a clean set of hoops on several occasions, they seemed more than a little surprised when I cruised past, giving considerably greater clearance than they typically afford me.

 One clung to my rear wheel in a desperate attempt to save face (overtaken by a fella riding a friction shift-oh the shame!) but rapidly relented as tempo and gradients increased. I’m all for a bit of friendly competition but don’t take kindly to etiquette that belongs in bunch sprints, not sleepy backwaters. 

Overtake so as not to almost nudge bars, or causing the “slower” rider to brake sharply to avoid collision. Shame I wasn’t wearing the wingman that evening- would’ve made good footage. Speak of the devil, slightly wibble prone handlebar bracket and irksome micro (as opposed to fully fledged) SD card aside, I’m really chuffed by the little camera, which delivers audio/visual feedback on par with Go Pro’s hero and has as many mounts as one could possibly crave.

Will try and upload some evidence in the coming weeks once a 32gb card arrives and my braking hand has healed satisfactorily. Continuing this disciplined theme comes the book’s resurrection with a provisional Christmas completion date. Approaches to established publishers have reaped relatively little reward, historically and currently so I may succumb to the lure of Amazon’s e-book platform, if only to ensure its tangible existence.  

Lotions, Potions & Forward Motions

So there I was having a furtive wander round cyberspace following a hunch about badge engineered high power lighting systems when Delkin’s wingman should slip under my radar. A marque better known for electronic data storage, 8mpxle still camera mode, full 1080hd, waterproof casing and compliment of mounts merited closer inspection. 

Build quality and maiden voyages with it strapped to my bonce n’ bars appear promising but the next few weeks will determine its worth as a documentary film-making tool.

Generally speaking, I’ve got along very cheerfully with Finish line’s range of lubes n’ potions and their ceramic wax is no exception. As the name suggests, it’s one of the super runny genre designed to keep transmissions silent and spotlessly clean.

In keeping with several broadly comparable formulas, we’ve a set of petrochemicals that traffic fluro polymer lubricant deep within the links, while Boron nitride serves as a thickener preventing it being washed away come the first puddle. Ceramics, regardless of incarnation seem to require a two stage curing process.

Having performed the usual chain cleaning routine; drizzle it on while holding an old rag/kitchen paper beneath to catch any overspill, thus avoiding wastage and side-stepping domestic disharmony. Allow fifteen minutes (overnight when the mercury drops) for the solvent to evaporate and hope your neighbour doesn’t choose this moment to toss the dying embers of his/her roll/up/joint/ Cuban cigar over the fence-like the sticker says, its flammable with a capital F.

Performance is reassuringly impressive, from the first few pedal strokes, the drivetrain feels notably slicker and I’ve managed 170 road miles between reapplications. This obviously takes a dip when things turn torrentially soggy but nonetheless there’s no ruinously sludgy grinding paste to deal with and top-ups simply require cursory wiping of the sideplates and where appropriate jockey wheels. In common with White lightning’s epic ride, it can be used on other metal on metal surfaces, including cleat release mechanisms but steer clear of cables, or prepare for water displacer surgery.

Speaking of which, I’m always excited when I see home grown products and Lancashire based Brite ride are a small but dedicated brand seeking to improve on existing products. They’ve sent me their foaming bike wash and some maintenance spray. Bike shops are literally groaning under the weight of these and it’s a wonder sometimes we’re not swept under and avalanche every time we nip across their thresholds.

 However, these were crafted to their specification in an attempt to create something road specific. Green oil’s citrus based blend remains my all-time favourite but that aside, I’ve found the majority are justly aimed at mountain bike audiences, who are subjected to a different sort of gloop.

Road salt and other tarmac borne contaminant usually requires more intensive tickling before finally flaking away from rippling TIG welds, fork crowns and chainstays. Brite ride seem to have cracked this particular conundrum with a more intense foaming solution, accentuated by a clever stimulant trigger nozzle. 

The maintenance spray is suspiciously close to a household name- these are basically designed with a light Teflon blend that lubricates, polishes and protects, thus popular for post wash blow-overs and seasonal hibernations but the thin protective layer still attracts thin films of grime.              

Madison, finish line’s UK importers have also sent Shimano’s dual sided A530, which feature a SPD mechanism on one side and on the flip side, a beefy (93x78mm) anodised aluminium platform. Less aggressive than their M230 mountain bike siblings, the ridged and slightly concave surface loses out in terms of cornering prowess-especially making quick turns in tediously slow town centre traffic but is great for quick dab-downs and entertains street shoes should need/preference arise.

Weather sealed cup and cone bearings bode well for longevity and puts them a nose ahead of equally worthy pattern models for longer touring/ in remote regions since genuine Shimano spares are much easier to come by.Talk of simplicity-their cleats shed gloop remarkably expediently for road biased versions while exposed tension screws make adjustments a breeze using stubby 3mm multi-tool bits. 

Their arrival signalled a few early (22^nd) birthday treats for the Teenage Dream. Gone are the venerable magnesium Genetix keo patterns; replaced by the A520, entertaining recessed cleats and better agility sans bike. For  now, the Prolite Cles’ saddle sits pride of place atop the exquisitely machined layback Thompson post, though I’m tempted to transplant in favour of Spa cycles classic Aire. Ditto the bar wrap, although with a generous shampooing with Green Oil bike wash, the grey Lizard Skins DSP has rejuvenated handsomely. 

Undeniably quaint by modern standards (22 years old in August), it remains a firm favourite with me. Time for some summer evening back road scratching and at the other extreme, to cast a critical eye over few balance bikes…

       

Weapons Of Mass Distraction & Managed Expectations

Justin Burls has been branching out into titanium components, specifically forks, headsets, seatposts and collars. Suffice to say all are beautifully executed to his exacting standards and once again, I find myself using sound economic rationales to quell urges compelling me to upgrade the Univega’s front end.

Said tourer has recently received this nicely nickel plated, albeit comparatively hefty 12-25 Sun Race cassette and KMC’s imaginatively monikered X393 chain, replacing the venerable BBB and heavily galvanised KMC unit that finally succumbed to a heady mix of high mileages and last winter’s particularly vengeful salt monster.

The latter (designed for 6,7 and 8speed transmissions) features an interesting nickel/brown finish, which is presumably a cost cutting exercise, since its loftier 99 boasts full nickel plating. Theoretically bushingless designs counteract accelerated wear, ensuring comprehensive free-flow lubricant on the one hand, while flushing salt, grit, sand and similar contaminant out in due course. In practice this seems to depend on prep quality and riders observing good standards of drivetrain hygiene

I’m leaving ours dressed in the factory drizzle for now to see how it behaves but have forgone the seemingly obligatory “magic” link joining system that irrespective of brand, seems blessed only with an uncanny ability to self destruct fifteen miles from the nearest chain tool.

Print as opposed to web titles have longer lead times, hence Moore Large www.todayscyclist.co.uk were kind enough to send over Knog’s new blinder family of blinkies and at the other extreme, some of their house band ballistic models boasting a combined firepower of 3000 lumens. The single lamp seems breathtakingly similar to Magicshine’s MJ808E right down to beam patterns and minor shortcomings but these pale into relative insignificance when you consider it gives change from £80 and adds a modest 335g to proceedings.

Producing 2000, its sibling is remarkably compact, although twice the output demands a more powerful fuel source-6.4amh compared with 4.4. Knog stuff is always interesting, if only from a funky design perspective but the past few seasons have seen the Australian brand twist the quality control knob a few notches higher. Big daddy of the blinder clan, the front reminded me of an old school twin lamp night sun unit that had been passed through a matter shrinking device by some batty boffin.

 Living up to their name, beam purity throughout the eight settings is certainly attention grabbing, though unleashing the stated two hundred does horrendous things to run times but crosses over into see with territory in suburban and less challenging semi rural contexts.

Traditionally USB rechargeable models were water resistant by middling degrees but a clever flip out pod combined with high quality silicone/ polycarbonate and aluminium construction enables easy connectivity with portable devices, while ensuring Mother Nature stays firmly outside.

Repeated five minute attacks using a high-pressure garden hose and salt water immersion testing failed to make any impression.  Some would reason this a little extreme but I reason if a manufacturer claims something is genuinely waterproof within prescribed tolerances, a diligent tester will always call their bluff and often as with bikes, this can take time. I run winter/audax models in particular for at least three, sometimes four hundred miles in a variety of weathers/contexts to see how they behave and to properly evaluate facets such as handling, build/finish quality.

Winter steeds and daily drivers lead harder lives by definition, regardless of rider compassion so those under my scrutiny are left under said slimy cocktail until their rightful owners send couriers to repatriate them. Most manufacturers/distributors are welcoming of this and I always supply photographs of their mucky states to substantiate my findings.

Suppliers and wider audiences are fully entitled to challenge opinions but should never be in a position to question factual stuff. Every so often I get PR companies expectant that I will take delivery of something one day and submit a glowing report the next. Conclusions can be reached within different timescales and these days, bad products are notable by their exception. However, I’m not prepared to consign my, or a publication’s credibility to the nearest skip by submitting rehashed press releases. At the other extreme, there are people wilfully determined to break stuff, taking belt sanders to pro quality bib shorts with the misguided view this somehow replicates the abrasive forces experienced in a typical tarmac slide, thus indicating levels of rider protection (!)

Hmm… any kindred editorial spirits needing a helping hand with their virtual, or indeed print titles are very welcome to approach me by email in the first instance.

Time I stripped the Teenage Dream’s chain of mothballing agent and drizzled some  Finish Line ceramic wax into its links. Think I’ll swap some components around and treat the front hoop to a quick tweak while I’m about it. 

Entitlement

People’s sense of entitlement, the automatic right to things by default never ceases to amaze me- none more so, than on the public highway. For many years now there’s been an overwhelming notion that driving a car is a right as distinct from privilege and moreover one that substitutes skill and empathy with elephantine ignorance. 

Just the other day I was piloting the Ka along a heavily trafficked section of provincial town and behind an elderly man on his bicycle. Unable to pass safely without endangering he, I or indeed oncoming traffic, this slightly serene procession was rudely interrupted by the high pitched, impatient sounding of the horn emanating from a middle aged woman sporting ridiculously oversized sunglasses, clearly too beautiful to be inconvenienced.

 It’s the sort of myopia oft lamented by journalist, campaigner and author of several best selling cycling books. I am of course referring to Richard Ballantine; a tremendously   influential figure who sadly lost his battle with cancer on May 29^th aged 72. Aside from an authoritative, captivating written style, he also supported me in my formative, teenage steps towards a career in journalism proper, so news of his death proved particularly sad.

He could polarise opinion, some regarding his stance toward rogue drivers as being a little over the top but while at an academic level there might’ve been some pop psychology at play now and then, his observations proved frighteningly accurate nonetheless.

I988 saw the arrival of Richard’s New Bicycle Book, in which he remarks (p240)  “ Often when cyclists signal a turn at night, their arm is lifted above the range of dipped car headlights and absorbed by the general ink of night. The signal is literally invisible” a sentiment clearly shared by Scute design who have sent me these mitts with inbuilt LEDs, switch gear and rechargeable li-on cell.

“Safety” tagging aside, their quality of construction and padding density seem remarkably good for long, steadily three seasons miles, ruling out the dreaded tingling, the extensive terry thumb wipe located for intuitive, split second taming of runny noses.

However, I’ve ideological reservations concerning this sort of technology since it implies, to me at least, that cyclists are somehow problems who need singling out. Mass rides aimed at capturing Jo and Joanna public always depict participants wearing hi-viz jackets. Again, I’m often seen wearing day-glow on overcast winter days but suggestion that we are somehow “asking for it” sans said attire seems to absolve bad, or woefully incompetent drivers from a duty of care in the same fashion “biological urges” are often cited by defence barristers in cases of rape/sexual assault.

Focusing upon my test bench, there’s been another wealth of interesting kit arriving for my attention. First up come these beautiful leather goodies courtesy of Spa cycles in Harrogate www.spacycles.co.uk. Constructed from ultra supple, high quality cowhide and half the price of established marques, their handlebar wrap comes in three classic colours-black brown or this luxurious honey.

Seamless construction won’t detract from the aesthetic, is stronger and moreover more comfortable than stitched varieties-especially in liner type gloves. Sources suggested rolls weren’t overly generous but in practice this only seems applicable when dressing oversized flared varieties. Coverage wasn’t an issue with these 25.4 midge, enabling double ups for additional cushioning in selected areas.

Talking of which, while very tenacious, the adhesive has proven very forgiving of perfectionist un/windings, so cable replacement/ introduction of cyclo cross style interrupter levers is unlikely to present any problems-especially if sealed in situ with quality electrical tape.  Early impressions suggest six weekly rub overs with a lint free cloth dipped in proofide/similar preserve will, all things being equal, retain its youthful lustre.

As for the clips, well these are fashioned from mirror polished stainless steel dressed in cowhide toe boxes protecting smart street shoes on short commutes and affording additional refinement on longer outings. Dual layer straps are refreshingly maulable, snaking effortlessly through Campagnolo record pattern cages, although the chromium plated buckles benefited from a quick shot of PTFE based spray sparing blushes when track standing isn’t practical.  Joshua remains inquisitive about racing, so we’ve been planning a new build and explored genres in more detail.

Seemingly mean and rueful of derailleur gears, we reckon the next built will be based around a small 4130 or 6061 mountain bike frameset with sliding dropouts, rigid fork and 135mm spacing, thus enabling relatively easy transition from single speed to variable gearing, whether hub or indeed derailleur as appropriate. Talking of which, harsh winter and lots of miles sees the Univega cruising another chain/cassette into retirement.

Still plenty of mid range options out there, so it’ll be a while before I contemplate adding another sprocket. Temptation travels back and forth between Titanium and similarly exotic fork options but I’m not overly fussed and moreover, there’s nothing wrong with the triple butted Cro-moly offering, especially since while pretty, said beast remains a working bike with emphasis upon reliability. 

Hairs' Breadth

Tyres have been at the forefront of my mind these past couple of weeks, what with the Schwalbe Kojak suffering some rather gruesome lesions courtesy of broken glass and my Ford Ka’s front pair suddenly splitting where it wasn’t obvious, leading to some very curious motorway handling as I cruised home from another day’s temping. Then we’ve these Schwalbe Marathon plus, which are the best road-orientated commu-winter/touring rubber I’ve used to date. Rolling resistance is refreshingly low too given their relative girth, deep tread and maximum 85psi operating pressure.

Seemingly invulnerable to the usual suspects, Kevlar is superseded by a soft, maulable sub section, which forces potential invaders out, as opposed to in with every rotation, which holds obvious appeal for dead of night riding, four seasons’ commuting and of course, laden touring. However, while our 35mm sections shared more than passing affinity with reality, shipping them aboard standard section ‘cross hoops saw rapid development of embarrassing hand muscles. 

I knew I was pushing my luck somewhat given the Ilpompino’s wishbone rear triangle is reckoned to manage 35mm tops-sans guards. No surprise then to discover their residual rubber whiskers tickling the undersides but given a hundred miles or so, these wore smooth, although clearance is strictly fag paper territory!

Said experience saw expedient purchase of this Cyclo workshop tyre fitter. Essentially a Godzilla lever, it works on the simple principle of leverage-slip the hoped end aboard the axle and rotate clockwise to persuade stubborn beads on/off in seconds. Hardly a novel concept perhaps but aluminium construction with high quality composites bodes well for longevity, even in commercial settings and better still, Cyclo are a UK brand.

Despite cataclysmic industrial decline these past four decades; the UK remains a hotbed of invention. Take these Santo Velo arm warmers.  Brainchild of midlands based Guy Stanton, one time moto-crosser turned sportive specialist who has devised protective models following a nasty spill that left him nervous about riding with extensive gravel rash. Unable to find a commercial product, he experimented with various materials before ultimately settling upon antibacterial EVPA- a rubberised elastomer more commonly employed in flat roofing contexts.

Initial impressions are very favourable, rugged fleece lined Lycra is extremely tactile and does an excellent job of retaining warmth, while the padded fillets offer excellent damping from road shock and general fatigue when hunkered low on the tri bars for longer periods. Fordist black with retro reflective detailing is quite nifty on nocturnal runs and compliments this Primal Wear Tattooed print jersey handsomely. Primal have been spicing up race jerseys/accessories since 1992 and this sports a medley of classic and contemporary designs ranging from Chinese tigers/90’s tribal stuff to Celtic crosses and themes from an era when ink was strictly the preserve of service folk and “undesirables”. 

Cut is extremely flattering, though while Primal make much of their  “Pro sensor Advanced Moisture Transfer”; essentially it’s just a plaited two layer polyester weave. Fibres against the skin absorb wetness, while the second uses existing body heat to spirit it away, thus banishing odour and chill. 

Unfortunately it doesn’t seem so effective at warding off little darlings who believe twelve-year-old bangers with big cans and thumping base are suitable substitutes for driver competency…Staying retro, this SKS triangle bag is the 80’s shoulder holder repackaged for a new audience. Made in cooperation with deuter, there’s a more tour friendly persona-hence less pronounced padding but Bontrager has also reintroduced the classic holster design with a distinctly pure, Mountain bike flavour.

Nonetheless, It swept me back to 1989 and geography classes spent ogling triple butted, rigid cross country Cro-moly fare with bio-pace cranksets, Tioga farmer John tyres, Girvin flex stems, Power grips and a host of similarly iconic stuff that proliferated the era’s cycling press. Not a good example for subsequent generations perhaps but infinitely more appealing than listening to a hirsute middle aged man prattling on about his gap year adventures across the Sahara desert aboard a melon truck with his old Etonian friend!

Correctly tensioned Velcro and slimline profiles eliminate annoying, thigh-brushing sway while the rip-stop nylon fabric seems pretty waterproof, aided in no small part by its sheltered location between seat and top tubes. Hmm, Ridgeback S, Muddy Fox Courier, Fisher Hoo-Koo-Ecoo, Saracen Kili Flyer anybody?

In the saddle, back on the game

Since my last entry, I’ve  secured another temp gig and therefore some fiscal liquidity, plugging the gaps between retainers and other, less consistent editorial payments. Managing sheltered housing schemes is familiar territory for me and not unpleasant work, although nowadays I associate it with the classic, slightly kitsch but brilliant piece of social commentary that is “Pearls Café’”.

For the uninitiated, it’s an old Specials’ track dating back to 1980, seemingly about a deranged old lady in a café, lamenting her life. However, the final verse the narrator suddenly has an epiphany; that his present girlfriend is cold, shallow and unfeeling  “ When I first met you, I really thought you were a wet dream come true. Now I know that you don’t care about somebody else’s nightmare”.

Having lured Joshua back to his BMX courtesy of this spatter deflecting SKS X blade clip on mudguard, there’s been a resurrection of competitive ambition on his part, expressing a desire to try racing first hand and wanting to accompany me on evening meanders. Given woefully inadequate standards of driver etiquette/skill seem supplanted by ever greater aggression, I’m of the opinion that cross country mountain biking is the most obvious and accessible outlet, with a view to cyclo cross when he’s twelve or thirteen and suitably prepared for long, steady road outings.

The nice folk at Zyro (www.zyro.co.uk)  dropped Minoura’s VC100 bracket over for me to play with. Beautifully made from CNC machined, silver anodised aluminium, it essentially converts the bike to a mobile tripod and camera spec allowing; ensures capture of impressive video footage-whether carving through deserted back roads or hustling through congested city centres. This is largely attributable to a combination of rigidity and broad, shock absorbing rubberised cork platform.

Obviously, it cannot compete with the 180degre peripheral capture of a helmet cam and 350g magnesium bodied super zoom compacts are pretty much its limit. Some of you will baulk at fifteen quid but while the backyard specials brewed using an old reflector bracket and similar oddments from the spares box are phenomenally satisfying to make, should it fail at tour typical speeds, cameras run the risk of becoming bin fodder.

Spring may well be in full bloom but manufacturers are keen to showcase their new season’s lighting and I require little persuasion to try them Silva, a marque more commonly associated with compasses, torches and similar generic outdoor apparel have been expanding their bike range.

In stark contrast to their road specific see with Pave’ comes this quirky looking “Commute”, which given cursory inspection looks indistinguishable from a sea of similarly competent contingency units, perfect for extended summer playtimes on the best bike or as dynamo companion/backup.

On paper 45 lumens lags behind the latest generation of bobby dodgers but the collimator lens delivers a very pure beam, devoid of halos with reassuring peripheral prowess. Tool-free silicone wrap over mounts are a welcome revolution, offering secure purchase, yet slipping off in seconds when locking in the street. This one is unremarkable other than to say it sweeps anaconda fashion around the full panacea of handlebar diameters without indigestion.   

Reassuringly stout composites bode well for longevity, shrugging at the inevitable everyday carelessness and Silva boast that it’s unaffected by temperatures as low as minus 20. A rubberised, centre mounted switch is easily operated in gloved hands and on the fly, although not the sort prone to accidentally engage when hibernating in jersey pockets/panniers. USB rechargeable li-on cells have almost become default but while in many respects a blessing, AAA are readily available pretty much anywhere and offer tour practical run times-I’ve managed eighteen odd (max) and an Uber frugal ninety eight in flashing using premium grades. All the more impressive since it gives change from £20. www.silva.se.

Another unexpected pleasure is this beautifully crafted saddlebag complete with Camera insert made by Emily O’ Brien. Hailing from Medford Massachusetts, she’s a mile munching, limerick loving music teacher and lifelong fettler who manufactures a handmade range of luggage/accessories capable of passing her own rigorous testing regime. Initial impressions are extremely favourable and its one of the most exciting bits of luggage I’ve had the privilege of testing to date. http://www.dillpicklegear.com/