Tales of The Unexpected

As promised I have swapped to the magnesium bodied keo type Genetic courtesy of pattern cleats with a whopping nine degrees of knee-friendly float. Not the most obvious companions for a tubby tourer perhaps but they're something different for the summer months. On our first late evening saunter I stood mesmerised by this majestic sunset when the screech of brakes and splintering of wood tore through our serenity. A group of kids had over cooked the bend in their ageing Peugeot with the obvious consequences.Given the occupants' hasty exit and camouflaging of said vehicle(lack of insurance or similar documents being the obvious motivations) calling for assistance was pointless and frankly, I was just glad to be observing from a safe seventy yards. Darkness is now arriving with little warning, so I've been taking this opportunity to put some LED systems through their paces. Arguably a steady evolution but USB rechargeable models pretty much dominate the market, boasting commendable outputs and run times. Ideally suited to desk bound commuters and freelancers like me, dry cell models boasting thirty plus hour run times from single Cr2032 or AA batteries retain the trump card when touring and/or on long haul audax duties but with prices tumbling and technology improving at a comparable rate, who knows what we'll see in the coming twelve months.

Competition, most notably from China has driven quality to the point it's genuinely difficult to find bad models and these Revolution flash silicone LED lights are prime examples. Commanding £9.99 a piece and boasting a prodigious ten lumens (max) at the front; six the rear, build quality rivals, if not shames designer brands. Monocoque construction offers a genuinely superior grasp of oversized bars and seatposts with visibility nearing three hundred and fifty yards on a clear night without being lost in the neon confusion that characterises our urban landscape. Ultimately, finite five hundred charge life cycles might deter some but with run times close to eleven hours in economy settings, they'll still return two years faithful, service.
However, the charge cables are hopelessly short, especially for those of us refuelling at towers, (as opposed to laptop/notebook) but otherwise I'm genuinely smitten.
Some equally fetching computers from Raleigh's RSP brand have fallen into my eager mitts recently, the most notable being this wireless computer/HRM combo complete with crystal clear display and pretty much every function aside from cadence and tea making. Accuracy seems bang on, buttons are user friendly in gloved hands. My one minor gripe concerns the Heath Robinson handlebar mount. Arguably very secure in situ, installation proved fiddly in the first instance and a few spare cable ties would've been welcome too. Mother Nature's effortless transition toward autumn sees me washing Gore Tex and similar technical apparel in preparation for the cooler, changeable yet deeply enticing sepia season. Riders seeking to beat the early morning chill without resorting to winter weights training gloves should look no further than these BBB Race shield. Polyamide/Polyurethane mixes are hardly exotic but wash well and keep windchill firmly at bay. Extensive reflectives make all the difference when signalling while the rubberised palm and digits ensure excellent all weather control. Dexterity is sufficient to allow roadside adjustments, pannier rummaging and even unhindered photography.

Speaking of fettling, the Feedback sports chain gauge has presented the Univega's hard working Gusset chain with a clean bill of health. A mere .2mm wear in twelve hundred unforgiving miles is testament to their build quality, although good transmission hygiene shouldn't be overlooked. Predominantly fed on a diet of wax lubes, I'm confident of reaching 2,500 before .8mm signals retirement, although 0.06 will hail the ordering of a successor to keep the drivetrain healthy.
So then to our fetching Klein road frameset. I had hoped to bring you a full photo love-story makeover but alas, the edited highlights will have to suffice. Given a thorough vapour blasting, the owner elected an equally enticing blue, complete with sparkle lacquer topcoat. Since the star fangled nut remained lodged in the steerer, it was feared the intense curing temperatures would cause havoc, thus calling for two-pac. However, closer inspection revealed it was metal and so a false alarm. Aluminium isn't the easiest of materials to re/paint since the non ferrous tubes can generate imperfections in the final curing stage but this jewel-like effect is genuinely flawless.

Another customer opted for "Kawasaki" green with sparkle topcoat, both finishes illustrating the quantum leaps in powder coating since the early days of basic primary colours.

Riot & Revolution

Unless you've been living in some muddy backwater, starved of Internet or similar modern communications, most will be aware of the "rioting" which spread like wildfire across the UK's major cities. Debate rages along two overtly simplistic models-"system" (instigated by poverty and neglect) or mindless criminality induced by morally bankrupt "youth". In reality, academic/moral arguments are overridden by devastation on unprecedented levels for many people. Cyclists and cycle retailers were sadly, if perhaps predictably targeted because of high and easy resale values. Participants in the frenzied chaos could simply hop aboard and sprint away into the night with no thought to the feelings of their rightful owners but then thieves lack the basic values of mercy, empathy and compassion. Rioting in response to colossal injustice(s) is one thing, wanton aggression and consumerist looting are quite another. The loss of stock, spiraling insurance premiums and cost of re-fitting can be ruinous-especially for already squeezed small businesses. While left and right of the political spectrum spout rhetoric, supporting your local bike shop and refusing to buy those suspiciously cheap Cannondale touted on eBay/street corner lock ups are small, simple but positive steps we can all take.

Gone are the days when budget shoes meant patent leather uppers that roasted feet within an inch of their lives and parted company with the sole at the first enthusiastic yank on the upstroke. Memories of mid-ride rest stops, being ushered through to the beer garden with our bikes by landladies only too happy to fetch washing up bowels of cold, refreshing water in which to soak our feet once we'd ordered a hearty meal and promised not to interact with families and similarly respectable patrons... Time RXT might retain the faux hides but sport plentiful mesh for consistent, cooling airflow while acres of Scotchlite detailing are perfect for extended summer playtimes or soldiering on through a dry December's gloom. Thermoformed footbeds are marketing speak for insoles that mould to the rider's feet but in fairness do so in a matter of rides and while hardly exotic, reinforced nylon soles promote excellent power transfer without painful hot spots and seem genuinely hospitable to most standard Look/SPDR pattern road cleats. Mesh is a double edged sword though and overshoes are a must in anything heavier than a passing shower. Twenty minutes and they're saturated, demanding eight hours at room temperature to resume an arid and wearable state.Continuing this theme of misty-eyed nostalgia come these rather fetching handlebar and stem from Genetic. Beautifully finished and modestly priced, they're supplied here in the UK by ison distribution and perfect for older road and touring bikes. Common to most contemporary quill types length is limited to either 80 or 100mm but meets the needs of most riders sitting either side of average. Standard (26.0) clamp diameters make sense but riders unable to part with their favourite 25.4s can use one of Nitto's high quality shims. Will Meister has some (http://www.hubjub.co.uk/)

So to something home grown-but definitely not herbal. This here's a titanium brake bolt designed so older framesets can enjoy the pleasures of dual pivot braking without the pain of drilling fork crowns and seat stay bridges. Made in Bristol from 6A14V (an alloy of titanium, aluminium and vanadium) it measures 73mm long and is cut to Shimano RX100, R450 &R650 patterns but also entertains some Tektro and Miche. Fitting is simply a matter of removing the OEM bolt and slotting the aftermarket model in place, remembering liberal licks of Ti paste to prevent galvanic corrosion-especially on daily drivers. Contrary to claims from clubroom oracles, excessive "whip" has been a moot point and I've not so much as lain tools to it in three weeks and 280 miles.

Elsewhere, the otherwise dependable Veloset computer seemed unduly affected by electrical interference.Replacing both head and sensor batteries restored reliable and consistent readings. The eagle eyed will note the return of my once grey Look pedals from 1991. This was in the interests of putting those Time RXT through their paces and rewarded with higher cadences, more efficient power transfer not to mention red faces as we hurtled past some dyed in the wool types despite hauling several kilos of kit in the mighty Knog Dry Dog pannier. However, just as soon as some Keo pattern cleats arrive, I'll opt for these Magnesium bodied Genetic, shaving a few grams and improving ground clearance into the bargain. Much as I like the cleanliness of wax type lubes, I'm running perilously low on White Lightning's Clean Ride but remain convinced there's a few similar types languishing somewhere in the garage. What they lose to wet types in staying power, self cleansing types won't turn to a cannibalistic grinding paste when things turn gloopy.

In amongst a wealth of tatty exotica arriving at Maldon Shotblasting and Powder Coating came this surprisingly sound Klein road frameset. Aside from some unavoidable little scrapes its original "Angry Custard" yellow livery seems remarkably well preserved. Not sure what the Klein's new clothes will be just yet but hopefully I'll return with a photo love story in the coming weeks...

Flight of the Condor

This week Graham at Maldon Shotblasting & Powder coating brings the 80's Condor back to life in French blue.

Three minutes in the blast cabinet and it's bare, ready to receive the chromate...
Chromate applied, ready for the first oven baking.

Curing alongside a Fuji Mtb frame and swing arm

Here comes the French blue, on with the show- good health to you!

The final bake....

Baggy Trousers & Blasting Frames

No, nothing to do with Madness, the 80's Ska inspired pop band-we're talking messenger knickers/three quarter lengths (delete as your road/mtb heritage dictates). Lycra remains a firm favourite for fast blasts on the Holdsworth and Teenage Dream but there's much to be said in favour of stylish modesty as my thirties thunder by. The one downside to this genre of respectable leg-wear is the attention it draws to furry pins-hence my endearing love affair with Veet!

Missing teeth aren't particularly fetching either...Despite a varied and reasonably balanced diet, my cola consumption was on par with Dennis Hopper's appetite for liquor during the 1970s. The loss of a prominent and very expensive dental crown has ended a twenty year dependency upon this evil mistress.

Polaris Transition bear remarkable similarity to Protective Washingtons, although they're fashioned from water repellent rip-stop polyester which has a distinctly "technical" feel compared with the German marque's brushed fabric. Pockets are the bog standard hip for change, keys and stuffing the hands when mooching around town while the positively cavernous cargo type gobble everything from larger compact cameras, wallets and smart phones through to road maps- er, that's retro GPS for the uninitiated. Stretch panels minimise bunching even-fully laden and hammering along at ninety-plus rpm while the rip-stop lives up to it's reputation, shrugging at brambles and other feisty foliage. They're as chic, civilian and water resistant as you'll need in the urban jungle, although the Protective have the edge for more formal meets. Sizing is a major consideration though and in their infinite wisdom, Polaris have done something very strange for the men-folk. My thirty-two inch waist, thirty-three leg isn't particularly outlandish and I've always managed a medium...I squeezed into our sample sans unsightly muffin top and given a few longish outings, the fabric relaxes. Measurements seem more consistent for the ladies but nonetheless try before parting with your hard-earned.

Diesel strength coffee and regular visits to Maldon Shotblasting & Powder Coating have been keeping the soda scourge firmly in check. In amongst a flurry of rusty motorcycle frames, panels and tanks sat this weary looking '80s Condor road frameset ready for a "French Blue" rebirth.Construction and attention to detail are to a standard "Johnny come artisan" can only dream of. Note the accuracy of brazing- no runs or drips here (more than can be said for the Teenage Deam-at least around the original fork crown). My inclination would be to reconfigure the top-tube cable routing but then perhaps the owner wants to retain its originality and besides, identikit machines/increasingly identikit people are equally undesirable.

The same is true of dirty/squeaky transmissions and I'm pleased to report we've been returning around two hundred miles from White Lightning's "Clean Ride" through the drier months. Maintenance has been little more than a light drizzle on every link and periodically wiping any sludge from the outer plates. However, I'm edging closer to the bottle's end and must make a decision whether to continue, or substitute for a more tenacious gloopy offering for the darker months that creep nearer.

Elsewhere, Knog's mighty dry dog remains a near permanent feature aboard the Univega's beefy cro-moly rack. Summer cloudburst, river crossings and the general hurdy gurdy of rough-stuff touring have made no impression on the fabric or moreover, contents. Its thirteen inch sibling has the edge when it comes to the cut and thrust of commuting since it slips through gaps that bit easier and doesn't foul the floor when wheeling the bike through tight apartment corridors but bigger brother is bang on for weekend touring.

Right, well a kindly editor has bestowed a lovely box of goodies for testing and the wide blue yonder is calling me.

Water Sports.....

No, look elsewhere if you're after the sort involving bodily fluids. We've been hit by a band of low pressure, bestowing monsoon rainfall of the type more commonly associated with epic melodramas. Harbingers of doom proclaim the end of summer but these are perfect conditions for real-world conditions for product tests.

The good folk at Moore Large (http://www.todayscyclist.co.uk/) have left me Knog's Dry Dog to play with. Our seventeen inch version is big enough to hop inside and on the strength of recent long, steady rides-completely waterproof (even submerged during river crossings) thanks to the sonically welded 1200 denier PU fabric. Acres of bold, reflective detailing ensures 180 degree visibility, which is an absolute godsend whether chasing along country lanes in the dead of night or tackling the usual town centre malaise. Similarly, Rixen Kaul click-fix systems inspire confidence over the roughest roads and trails, accommodating most gauges of rack with a deft flick of the Phillips screws. Asymmetrical design allows it to ride either side and this extends to the webbed shoulder strap which shares a similar profile to the pig-dog. A splash of cartoon nudity is the only thing likely to divide opinion and for my part, I'm indifferent but some office/environments might not be so liberal.

Having discovered the Univega's Kenda Ultralite tube mysteriously perished at the valve stem, it now lives on as a top-tube protector, which ironically coincided with the purchase of another patch kit. Mean and rueful of the glue-less breed, finding they either don't adhere at all, or slowly peel away, I'll stick with that little tube of vulcanising solution. Leaning bikes by their top-tubes is something I avoid wherever possible but on those occasions calling for intimate relations with street furniture, the old inner tube trick protects paintwork and thin-walled tubing from unnecessary nicks, scrapes and dings.

Freedom to choose (or at least make genuine choices) should never be undervalued. I've been exercising my right to ride sans lid these past few weeks and it has raised a number of interesting points. Firstly, other riders seem more inclined to acknowledge me-regardless of genre or tribe while drivers pass with greater caution and distance. Having worn helmets for the best part of twenty-three years, going totally bareheaded doesn't come naturally-hence the traditional clubman's cap, providing protection from the sun's glare and wind-chill. However, the lid has been resurrected to coincide with these rather tasty new lights from Moon. The creatively monikered X500 is a five hundred lumen, five mode, high power commuting lamp designed for either handlebar of helmet fitting.

Early impressions suggest commendable build quality and output relative to competitor brands, although I have some reservations concerning the lack of peripheral illumination-a moot point perhaps when used as a secondary system but otherwise a consideration when emerging from unlit side-roads, junctions etc . This aside, a choice of wall or USB charging is particularly welcome, although run times in the upper modes don't favour extended nocturnal playtime. Several weeks' thorough testing will reveal all. Elsewhere we've the five LED Mask with detachable covers for perfect colour contrast/coordination and its sixty lumen Shield sibling. Perfect on paper for desk-bound commuters I'm looking forward to putting these through their paces. Our samples were supplied by Raleigh UK (http://www.raleigh.co.uk/) should you fancy a more detailed run down before I return with a more detailed evaluation complete with "Beam" shots.

"I reject your reality and substitute it for my own" is an undeniably witty retort and I am fully aware that stupidity cannot be legislated against. However, there are people who cannot see the correlation between Russian roulette and overtaking on a blind bend. The photograph here depicts the aftermath of a head-on collision between an MG sports car and Ford Mondeo, resulting in critical injuries, necessitating three hour road closure. I realised the gravity of the situation upon spotting a lone stretcher and two police officers gesticulating in between periods of protracted discussion. Nineteen years previously, a cyclist in his early twenties was killed having struck a postal van. Talk focused upon the rider's helmet omission and according to eye-witness reports, the stationary vehicle wasn't badly parked-a genuinely tragic accident resultant from a momentary lapse in concentration.

There prevails a curious myth that simply passing the car test (along with examinations per se) qualifies individuals as competent drivers when in fact it merely proves they were assessed as being suitably safe to be allowed to operate a vehicle on public roads without supervision. There are no shortcuts to road craft as the proliferation of fatalities amongst thirty-somethings who acquire motorcycle licences via intensive course and on large capacity (typically 750cc) machines. By contrast cyclists and motorcyclists who adopt cars as another mode of transport generally "read" the road to a better standard, showing greater empathy for others.

Sermon over and since it's pouring with rain, I'll go testing.

Burls Next The Sea....

Took a break from the monotony of chasing invoices and writer's block to pop in on Justin Burls. He's recently relocated, albeit only by a mile or so to more spacious premises complete with centrally heated indoor workshop. Arguably still relevant as a frame material, steel has been eclipsed by unprecedented demand for his bespoke titanium range/complete bike builds. However, it was this ferrous fixer that captured my imagination Built in the late 90s using Columbus tubes, it's quaintessentially a road frameset with track ends. All Justin's work is one-off and made to measure but we live in times of extensive badge engineering whereby, often the only features distinguishing one volume produced frame from another are the groupset, livery and decals. Taking the pragmatic, market forces approach, this has kept things ultra competitive in the consumers favour. Ten years ago, road bikes boasting 6061 aluminium tubes, carbon fork and a low-mid range groupset would command £1500 whereas £550 buys the same specification today. Given a few miles and some gradual component replacement, said machines arguably evolve so long as the owner hasn't slavishly replaced like for like. Without falling into the over simplistic and hackneyed "Extension of the persona" cliche'; Justin is very matter of-fact about the build, suggesting it was conceived from whatever was lying around or available cheaply. Take a closer look at these Campagnolo track cranks which were found along with the seatpost unloved and under a covering of tar in someone's outbuilding.Judicious use of the grit blaster, coupled with a new ring restored them to their original glory- living proof that very fetching bikes are possible with imagination, skill and very modest outlay. Stopping is courtesy of this entry level, yet aesthetically pleasing Campagnolo Mirage calliper and New Old Stock Shimano Exage levers, whereas the cockpit is classic road territory-Cinelli quill stem and 44cm drops dressed in cork wrap. A wired Cat-Eye might offend his clean lines ethic but offers unrivaled accuracy without corruption from external currents.
Old faithful is the embodiment of those characterful winter hacks and a machine I would gladly re home and er, partially rebuild. The drivetrain has succumbed to the salt monster but otherwise nothing a good bath, hard paste waxing and some waxoyl sloshing around the tubes wouldn't sort. A mid range Microshift groupset would complete the transformation perfectly...Ahem, Thou shalt not covet another man's bike....

Tea flowed against a backdrop of gentle burbles and bleeps from his bread maker interrupted only by sporadic telephone calls concerned with the evening's competitive road run. Conversation otherwise revolved around the irony of skilled artisans earning a living from teaching/materials (DVDs, Training manuals etc) rather than commercial practice. Casual observation suggests these "Black Arts" have become fashionable pass-times amongst a well-heeled professional class seeking a romanticised distraction from virtual stocks, shares and bonds.

Having confirmed the precise location of the evening's run, Justin reasoned there was sufficient time for an enthused swim in the North Sea. Partaking in this ocean's dubious charms had as much appeal as immersing my testicles in acid so I remained on Terra-firma and clicked away at ISO 100....

F is for frustration...Oh and fetish!

The onset of warmer weather rekindles my desire to press onward with the Holdsworth's rebirth. Repair to the shell, bottle mounts and of course, new finish. I'm leaning toward a chrome effect powder base-coat with a two pac 5012 top coat to give the impression of a plated triangle but without the harmful processes. However, while I'm renown for creative solutions and lateral thought, some things require capital investment and the behaviours of one small-scale publisher is testing my patience to the absolute limit. This came to a head last week when a second copy of the current issue dropped through my letterbox sans cheque! In stark contrast, Moore Large have sent these butyl tubes gratis since they couldn't supply me with the thorn resistant Kenda on time. Being Knog's UK distributor, they've also left me this veritable hum vee of a bag to play with...

Knog never cease to amuse with their bizarre but oh so clever marketing and that promoting their Pig Dog 15.5 messenger bag is no exception. The blurb suggests the PR boys and girls have been enjoying too many rides on the magic roundabout but if you can wear the hefty £96 price tag, it could prove the perfect urbane companion for riders seeking a stylish, waterproof town satchel on and sans bike but without messenger pretensions. Made from hand stitched, hard wearing 1200 denier cotton duck, full to bursting capacity is an eye-popping twenty-four litres. Being a social chameleon, it can be taken anywhere, especially through airport security with the minimum of fuss which is more than can be said of an otherwise fine example made from hemp with that oh so distinctive aroma....

Polar opposite in their marketing strategy, BBB Ultra tech bib shorts are the embodiment of professional with twelve panel construction, flat seams, silicone grippers gracing every contour perfectly for maximum comfort and unrestricted movement. Inserts can make or break a short. Common to similarly priced designs, it's gender specific, mapped out with the full compliment of supportive/pressure relieving grooves. two layer construction consists of a moisture wicking top-sheet that retains a cool, dry inner climate while the " Silver protection" combats bacterial build up, maintaining good hygiene and odour control. Music to my derriere these past few weeks and six hundred miles, the two tone livery might not be every one's cuppa and some reinforcement would be welcomed around the seat but they're a shrewd option for long days in the saddle without the boutique pricing. Beset by occasional but unnerving bouts of writer's block, I've been seeking inspiration from all manner of places and with Joshua at a loose end, we headed to Maldon Shotblasting & powder coating too see what was on offer. Nestling amongst the rows of freshly TIG welded go-cart chassis awaiting blasting and painting was this Trek. Determining the year of build was tricky since it's made from Cro-moly, the rear stays have an early 90's heritage and curiously the well finished vertical ends sported a disc mount....

Further intrigue came courtesy of Justin Burls and this frameset made for two...I'll arrange to come and visit him at his new premises and if I ask nicely perhaps he'll fill me in. In the meantime should you fancy something bespoke from the finest grade Russian titanium then have a look at his site: http://www.burls.co.uk/

Ending on a surreal note, SKS airchamp pro is a very fine way of raising a flaccid road tyre to 110psi in eight seconds. A clever thumb switch enables controlled release, as opposed to jettisoning an entire cylinder which might not seem ideal when trying to rejoin the peleton but comes into it's own, out with the chain gang. With hydraulic arms you've cajoled eighty-five psi from the hand-pump but it's locked out and that race rubber's begging for 125. Plug on the airchamp and top-up (checking periodically with your tyre gauge to avoid blowing it from the rim!) There's even a safety catch to prevent unintentional discharge...So, there was I bowling along the lanes when whooooooooooooooooosh- the cartridge engaged in my messenger knickers, refreshing the parts Co2 inflators weren't intended for and at £2.50 a hit, this won't develop into a fetish!