No, nothing to do with Madness, the 80's Ska inspired pop band-we're talking messenger knickers/three quarter lengths (delete as your road/mtb heritage dictates). Lycra remains a firm favourite for fast blasts on the Holdsworth and Teenage Dream but there's much to be said in favour of stylish modesty as my thirties thunder by. The one downside to this genre of respectable leg-wear is the attention it draws to furry pins-hence my endearing love affair with Veet! 
Missing teeth aren't particularly fetching either...Despite a varied and reasonably balanced diet, my cola consumption was on par with Dennis Hopper's appetite for liquor during the 1970s. The loss of a prominent and very expensive dental crown has ended a twenty year dependency upon this evil mistress.
Polaris Transition bear remarkable similarity to Protective Washingtons, although they're fashioned from water repellent rip-stop polyester which has a distinctly "technical" feel compared with the German marque's brushed fabric. Pockets are the bog standard hip for change, keys and stuffing the hands when mooching around town while the positively cavernous cargo type gobble everything from larger compact cameras, wallets and smart phones through to road maps- er, that's retro GPS for the uninitiated. Stretch panels minimise bunching even-fully laden and hammering along at ninety-plus rpm while the rip-stop lives up to it's reputation, shrugging at brambles and other feisty foliage.
They're as chic, civilian and water resistant as you'll need in the urban jungle, although the Protective have the edge for more formal meets. Sizing is a major consideration though and in their infinite wisdom, Polaris have done something very strange for the men-folk. My thirty-two inch waist, thirty-three leg isn't particularly outlandish and I've always managed a medium...I squeezed into our sample sans unsightly muffin top and given a few longish outings, the fabric relaxes. Measurements seem more consistent for the ladies but nonetheless try before parting with your hard-earned.
They're as chic, civilian and water resistant as you'll need in the urban jungle, although the Protective have the edge for more formal meets. Sizing is a major consideration though and in their infinite wisdom, Polaris have done something very strange for the men-folk. My thirty-two inch waist, thirty-three leg isn't particularly outlandish and I've always managed a medium...I squeezed into our sample sans unsightly muffin top and given a few longish outings, the fabric relaxes. Measurements seem more consistent for the ladies but nonetheless try before parting with your hard-earned.
Diesel strength coffee and regular visits to Maldon Shotblasting & Powder Coating have been keeping the soda scourge firmly in check. In amongst a flurry of rusty motorcycle frames, panels and tanks sat this weary looking '80s Condor road frameset ready for a "French Blue" rebirth.
Construction and attention to detail are to a standard "Johnny come artisan" can only dream of. Note the accuracy of brazing- no runs or drips here (more than can be said for the Teenage Deam-at least around the original fork crown). My inclination would be to reconfigure the top-tube cable routing but then perhaps the owner wants to retain its originality and besides, identikit machines/increasingly identikit people are equally undesirable.
The same is true of dirty/squeaky transmissions and I'm pleased to report we've been returning around two hundred miles from White Lightning's "Clean Ride" through the drier months. Maintenance has been little more than a light drizzle on every link and periodically wiping any sludge from the outer plates. However, I'm edging closer to the bottle's end and must make a decision whether to continue, or substitute for a more tenacious gloopy offering for the darker months that creep nearer.
Elsewhere, Knog's mighty dry dog remains a near permanent feature aboard the Univega's beefy cro-moly rack. Summer cloudburst, river crossings and the general hurdy gurdy of rough-stuff touring have made no impression on the fabric or moreover, contents. Its thirteen inch sibling has the edge when it comes to the cut and thrust of commuting since it slips through gaps that bit easier and doesn't foul the floor when wheeling the bike through tight apartment corridors but bigger brother is bang on for weekend touring.
Right, well a kindly editor has bestowed a lovely box of goodies for testing and the wide blue yonder is calling me.
