Toil n’ Trouble: Eight Inches from Disaster

Having reached the stage in our collaboration, where progress now remains in the hands of a third party, I’ve been immersing myself in testing new, seasonal kit and other distractions. 

Some folks consider full length mudguards (fenders) an affront to their street cred but aside from serving ‘cross or mountain bikes, there’s nothing cool about that filthy racoon stripe along your back (or the bike’s most intricate regions saturated with corrosive silt).

Axiom Road Runner LX reflex enjoy some genuinely innovative features that make installation to less conventional configurations refreshingly easy. Designed with ample coverage for 35-38mm tyres; these will suit the latest generation of civilian cross builds doubling as weekend tourers, trainers/club bikes during the off-season.

Assuming you didn’t want to take the zip-tie route, fitting to framesets with mtb inspired wishbone rear triangles, such as On-One’s earlier Ilpompino and Planet X's Kaffenback series demands drilling the chrome plastics, negating time-saving convenience of pre-fitted stays.

Doing so also voids the lifetime warrantee, although a moot point given their quality and since I also like mounting dynamo/battery lamps here too.   

Other modifications will include 3M reflective stickers given the lack of pin-striping that makes a surprising difference to nocturnal safety-especially combined with reflective tyre walls. However, this is all minor stuff-the guards themselves have lovely profiles and should retain their looks several years’ down the line.

Stainless steel hardware might be expected these days, though quality still varies. These seem similarly top-notch, responding positively to gentle manipulation and shouldn’t succumb to the salt monster’s first lick.   

Autumn and winter calls for different lubes and I’ve been sent plenty of lovely chain lotions in the past few weeks. All seem pretty impressive in terms of economy, drivetrain efficiency, cleanliness and longevity.

However, I’ve found myself particularly endeared to Carbon Pro’s composite friendly, biodegradable range based on highly sophisticated vegetable fats. Admittedly, there’s a price tag differential that some riders may find difficult to swallow, given the astounding value that some mineral oil/ PTFE blends offer.

Less of an issue for tarmac warriors perhaps but the latter aren’t particularly kind to waterways and aquatic life, which is a consideration sans asphalt. “Environmentally friendly” is no longer synonymous with below par performance and thus far, I’m gobsmacked by their cleanliness and staying power compared with petrochemical competition. 

Sustainable sources are an obvious choice for the eco-system but alternatives to fossil based fuels has the potential to diffuse (though not eliminate) the perpetual clamouring and conflicts arising from control/ownership of crude oil reserves.   

After some deliberation, I plumped for mounting the Geonaute atop, rather than to the side, which would leave it more vulnerable to crash damage, especially along slippery carpets of mulched leaves.

This delivers decent, shake-free footage when angled correctly, although makes selecting  functions on the fly a little tricky and explains why Go-Pro have taken the touch screen route on their Hero4 .

Ironically, the Geonaute’s li-on cell depleted just as an elderly woman cut the corner of a junction, on my side of the carriageway…

Everything unfolded in slow motion, I felt a powerless bystander as the silver “A” class Mercedes seemed unable to stop, or change course. Tyres rasped against the wet tarmac and collision averted by a matter of eight inches. Cocooned within shock, I allowed her to pass and was subjected to her indignant rant about “looking where I was going!!!”

Staying with cameras, I took the opportunity to acquire some more equipment during another visit to Britain’s former industrial heartlands. I’d been resisting temptation on the “want, not need” basis despite temping very close to several camera dealerships.

I’d been hunting a Sony Alpha (Minolta) mount wildlife lens for some time, though couldn’t justify the lion’s share of £1,000 for a showroom fresh example. In swept serendipity and this 400mm Tokina.

Contrary to popular misconception, lenses are generally very durable, lasting many years with basic care/sensible storage. Bodies manage eighteen months before collecting their pensions in commercial contexts.

Telephotos of this focal length aren’t an everyday item either, thus buying used makes better business sense. Fancy a favourably priced 55-200mm example for my NEX5 too, expanding its street and sports potential in situations where SLRs are just too intrusive/unwieldy. Then again, this very much hinges on other developments…   

Mods n' Ends aka beating the shot bolt & temp job blues

So there I was belting along the dusky back roads, putting another days’ temp job frustration into perspective and seeing the bigger picture. This heady mix of serenity and pragmatism was rudely interrupted by the sound of metal bouncing across asphalt… Thankfully not the handlebar cam mount, rather this largely likeable Lucas king of the road front light.

Aesthetically pleasing, I’ve never really been convinced by the ornate clasp’s durability and found the knurled bolt uniting its resin bracket unnecessarily fiddly. The lamp itself is another commuter plus model that produces 565lumens in top, with navigational clout through sticksville to around 25mph and 2.5 hours from a full charge.

An easily accessible li-on cell and inexpensive replacements allow extended playtimes with minimal bulk. However, just entering dusk, mine was sipping reserves in flashing…

Meanwhile back at the roadside, I’d leant the Ilpompino against a gate and began foraging through overgrown verges, hoping to find said fastener gleaming in the fading sun. Several minutes hence, I resigned myself to its loss, popped lamp ensemble in my wedge pack and resumed a brisk cadence-mentally scouring Perspex boxes for suitable substitute.    

This materialised as a stray stainless fender eyelet bolt, which aside from improving tenure, makes the bracket harder to swipe. I also discovered another (!) helmet strap complete with Go-Pro mount, so have bolted the Knog pattern atop. These will be tethered to a lid and trialled over the coming weeks.

I’d deliberately allowed the Ilpompino to cultivate a grimy patina during this time to test the effectiveness of some eagerly awaited bike washes, foaming chain cleaners and lubricants of varying viscosity. Air temperatures are still holding around the 20c mark, thus sludgy black frame preserve continues to leach stubbornly from my fleet’s breathe holes and bottom bracket shells.

Ideal conditions for basting the KA’s underside and chassis with my medieval medicine…Previous coats have remained firmly ensconced; albeit slightly weathered, thus bi-annual top-ups stop anything nasty getting a foothold.   

Most cleaners are now designed with composites in mind, eliminating risk of solvent damage. Genuinely effective on light to middleweight summer lubes, filmy residual road spatter and organic stuff; heavy duty wet potions demand three, sometimes four helpings and concerted coaxing from medium firm bristle plots.

Freelancing is synonymous with competence-if you’re not, you don’t last. Very occasionally, we might receive a stiff, though constructive editorial rebuke. Critically evaluate, raise your game and avoid repeat offences.

By contrast, incompetence is one of my biggest bugbears. Present temp role mirrors that this time two years ago, though I’m channelling frustrations into creative endeavours, while assuming an economically pragmatic, means-to-end focus. Stressing the positive, I’m off to play with some rather exciting chain lubes, check progress with my collaborators and work on some drafts before Monday’s 5.30 awakening.

  

Reportage!

The 32gb Micro SD card’s arrival coincided with my own, somewhat reluctant return from the marvellous midlands…

K-Edge and modified Delkin Brackets seem to be doing their thing handsomely, although given the levels of distortion, I’m now convinced resin handlebar tidies/extension beams aren’t ideal platforms. Thankfully the padded leather bar wrap proves a better host. In any case, I picked up a model specific helmet kit while mooching around Decathlon on Friday evening.

This present spec would bring the total cost to around £150, though includes the biggest card possible, some lateral thought and experimentation. Like the idea of a plug in LCD screen but this is a luxury for another time-if at all.

I

mage and build quality continue to impress and functions are intuitive, allowing easy operation, even when hurtling into hairpin descents. However, I need to resolve low-level vibration before its true potential is realised, or anything serious committed to you tube.

Talking of tubes, the resin end of my uber long workshop tyre fitting wand mysteriously fractured, so I contacted Cyclo’s distributors, seeking to purchase a replacement directly.

Despite being a couple of months outside of warrantee, Weldtite kindly sent me another free of charge along with some other “taster” products. A lovely gesture and means I can resume effortless tyre (or indeed, tire) swapping.  www.weldtite.co.uk

Elsewhere, we’re reaching the penultimate stages in our collaboration, so hopefully herculean effort will translate into tangible reward very, very shortly.   

       

Back to the Bodge Box

Well, after all that fuss n’ fanfare, the K-Edge & Geonaute polycarbonate shell combo proved decidedly disappointing. Specifically, persistent low-level road vibrations induced perpetual and distinctly infuriating slippage. Clearly struck by a Eureka moment, I returned from an early evening’s backwater blast and began rifling through a series of clear Perspex boxes.

By this point, frustration was such that I was thinking of helmet mounting when ten minutes later-Bingo! The Wingman’s resin bar bracket materialised, proving fully compatible with case and oversized bulge diameters, though I had to forgo the standard bolt in favour of a super stocky UV resistant zip-tie.

Successive dry runs along the lane confirmed rock solid, blur-free tenure, inducing a tremendous sense of achievement (not to mention uncharacteristically large grin).

Knog’s Qudos action video light materialised at the tail end of last week, which is similarly pleasing. Coming from a design company, I wasn’t surprised (though suitably impressed) by the sleek metal box and foam packaging which keeps everything safe and secure in storage/transit. Foraging inside revealed a beautifully executed light, slightly reminiscent of their Blinder Road2 lamp fed a steroid diet.

Ours was anodised black, though silver is no less alluring and will arguably age more gracefully. Now, somewhat sensibly, the mounting bracket is a Go-Pro pattern, so I’d anticipated some compatibility challenges with the G-Eye.

First and foremost insufficient spacing meant the two were literally butting heads, especially with the cameras’ polycarbonate housing in situ. After much head scratching/trial n’ error, I overcame this obstacle by resurrecting the Wingman and K-Edge brackets before reintroducing said gizmos as separates.

Knog also include a cold shoe tripod mount designed compatible with DSLR convergence work (another area of image making that has slowly but surely pricked my consciousness) in mind. Indeed, the Qudos is another example of the Australian marque’s consistently improving build quality.

Aluminium is an obvious choice for headlamp housings-rugged and lightweight it also displaces heat more efficiently than cheaper resins, so those three Cree diodes and circuitry stand a sporting chance of enjoying old age. Its’ also water resistant to 40 metres-130ft or so, giving potential for scuba and other submergible action. 

Now, 400lumens sounds impressive and in bike lighting terms is good enough for sprightly canters in semi-rural contexts.However, despite the Sports Action tag; I have suspicions this will require support from an uber lumen handlebar amp for capturing moonlit blasts, let alone trail antics. 

Those looking for more subtle illumination will be pleased to note its 70 lumen setting is claimed to sip the fully loaded 1,000 m AH lithium polymer cell for four hours, whereas the former is reckoned good for 40odd minutes.

That said; batteries are available separately and I’m thinking there’s some scope for emergency bike lighting, should your mains system flake out in sticksville.  Well, I’ll leave it here for now and will report back once a bigger micro SD card arrives…

The staying prowess of Btwin Teflon lube continues to astound me. We cruised through the 1100mile barrier on a single application and though about due replenishment, my fixer’s stainless steel chain still sported a protective film and minimal contaminant. 

Let’s see what the season of falling leaves, rich colours and damper roads reveals. Talking of which; I must crawl beneath the KA and give its underside and sills a routine basting of home brewed corrosion inhibitor before too long.

Candid Camera

Helmet cams have always stirred mixed emotions in me. For the most part positive-the quest to document rides in their full 1080HD glory. GO PRO’s various generations have become pretty much the standard by which all are judged and I was really impressed by the Hero2 a couple of years back. 

However, choppy financial waters precluded purchase and last year’s end of line Delkin Wingman indulgence proved false economy.

Thirteen months hence and I’m eager to avoid throwing good money after bad, yet enticed by a sub £100 Geonaute boasting 1080HD, 5mpxl stills and user-friendly design... 

Now, direct comparisons with GO-Pro’s Hero series are perhaps inevitable, although misleading-rather akin to comparing entry level and enthusiast CSC cameras. Image quality is very good, though not in giant killing territory, colours aren’t quite so accurate and vignetting’s apparent in certain lights. Build seems reassuringly sturdy- I’d rather pay extra for a bolt-on LCD playback screen and protective casing than see corners cut structurally.  

Minoura Le Korde proved a delightful handlebar host for dry weather reportage but the G-Eye escape’s centre mounted lens is incompatible with Hero and Wingman polycarbonate shells alike, so you’ll need to invest in a model specific unit.

Supposedly water resistant to 60metres, it seals completely tight, precluding attachment to mini bar pods…Experimenting with some redundant (though complete) blinky brackets came close, yet ultimately unsatisfactory thus I resigned myself to shelling out a further (and final!) £20 on this nicely machined K-edge “Go big” aluminium unit.

Much better than watching my new companion expire in a series of R2D2 esque bleeps come the first hint of drizzle or exploding on contact with terra firma. Alas, I must confess these optical investments were borne from a series of near misses and “Punishment Passes” yet I’m hopeful engaging reportage stuff will prove its staple diet. Knog are due to launch an LED lighting companion for nocturnal filmmaking this autumn-something I was quick to register interest in-hopefully I’ll get chance to put one through its paces very soon.  

To the uninitiated, “punishment passing” is an act of intimidation used by some drivers to communicate their contempt for cyclists. This takes several forms, though usually involves overtaking with, or swinging back prematurely, leaving inches, sometimes less to spare.

The latest encounter involved a long wheelbase Mercedes Sprinter van emblazoned with tarmac supplier’s livery passing a hairs’ breadth from my handlebars (along a series of tight bends no less). Happy to give them and others some free publicity here; or via you-tube.  

Staying with commercial vehicles a moment, I found myself equally confounded by a communication informing me that a “global logistics company” who regularly drive by and occasionally deliver to my house, cannot find me and need directions! Hmm, no-one else, let alone the larger, established firms have any trouble whatsoever. While generally a constructive, pragmatic soul, I won’t entertain incompetence-especially on a professional level. 

Summer doesn’t officially end until October 31^st, yet it’s beginning to feel peri autumnal here; temperatures and daylight dip quite suddenly past 20.00, turning one’s mind to lighting. I recently completed a long term test of this One23 Extreme bright 1000 for a new publication and it’s yet another illustration of how competent, yet affordable contemporary high power systems are.

Once burdened with hefty, temperature sensitive lead acid cells that returned 2, maybe 3hrs from a full eight hour mains charge. These days £80 buys bijous li-ons capable of fuelling 1000 lumen lamps for nigh on four hours and 15 in the lower, which is capable enough for speedy semi-rural navigation, let alone cross town commuting.

Cheaper lens and reflector components mean some compromises where beam purity’s concerned and a few £150 plus 650 lumen models produce higher quality light, thus it wouldn’t be my first choice off-road. However, there’s ample clout for spooky unlit lanes to around 28mph.

Some will argue this is relatively expensive in the global age. Yes, you can get lucky, acquiring outwardly identical designs for considerably less. However, quality of output varies and electricals/charging equipment won’t necessarily meet domestic standards either. Official imports are easily replaced or repaired under warrantee and provided you’ve proof of purchase, competent local bike shops/distributors will handle any warrantee woes.

Attending the capital to watch one of Kate Bush’s live theatrical masterpieces persuaded me to bring my less desirable travel compact along. This was remarkably liberating since it still takes decent images yet is old and (relatively) inexpensive not to instil the same theft anxiety associated with CSCs. 

Alas, the enigmatic performer stipulated no unofficial image-taking (stills or otherwise) I was still able to sneak eighty odd photographs of well and poorly laden/ secured machines within an hour to illustrate further, forthcoming features. 

Good Vibrations

Two weeks’ continuous service cemented my suspicions, namely that adopting a shorter stem and moustache bars would transform comfort and handling in most contexts. Sharper steering keeps things the right sort of interesting, without becoming a handful when haring along hairpin descents with beloved Revolution Cargo full to its thirty five kilo brim.

Spotted another one tethered to an equally hard working GT (note Magura HS33 raceline brakeset) while on a quick supermarket mission this week. Thought the shot would come in handy for book and related projects that are on the cusp of fruition.

Back to those Mungo then…Loftier backswept contours improve one’s view of conditions ahead, yet still affording commendable relief from headwinds and other biblical stuff.

Conversely, they do place more weight on the ulnar region, low-level vibration becoming intrusive after two hours or so, provoking me to explore some additional insulation. 

I’ve reviewed countless commercial “underlays” in recent years and in fairness, most seem to work, though some are definitely better than others.Binding redundant butyl inner tube around the bars before dressing them is another useful (not to mention, thrifty) homely remedy. Ah, but disturbing the several times repatriated Cinelli and asking it’s weathered adhesive to bond convincingly with butyl was pushing our luck somewhat. 

Hence I’ve adopted a popular Audax trick, leaving it in situ and weaving that crisp, white Lizard Skins DSP strategically atop. Thrice mummified around the curves, it appears to optimise protection with a slightly funky, as distinct from frumpy aesthetic.

Contact points are by definition exceedingly personal and something I’m predisposed to tinkering with. Superficially I wasn’t remotely “taken” by this SR Becoz moderate men’s saddle-183mm at its widest point-forty millimetres wider than “ideal” for my sit bones. However, such dogma breeds its own kinds of myopia. Less aggressive configurations influence rider spine angle, in turn placing proportionately greater weight upon the saddle.

This would explain why Spa cycle’s buxom (168mm) B17 homage proved so compatible.  The Becoz is literally bursting with cutting edge, recycled/organic technologies. Steep, relatively tall steel rails won’t set anyone’s Lycra ablaze but are extremely well finished and those additional millimetres seem to have corrected a minor imperfection height-wise.

These are coupled to a clever set of supple, yet progressive elastomers absorbing minor road/trail buzz while the internal blend of polyurethane gel combine ample support without hindering tour-typical 85-100rpm cadences. Covers used to be a weak spot, particularly on the goo-filled breed where they could rupture during a spill (especially off road) leaving sticky, oozy remnants spattered across one’s finest Lycra.

Selle Royal has continued the unusual, ecologically friendly theme here too, fortifying the slightly rubberised texture with sustainably cultivated conifer wood flour. This latter ingredient seems to counteract irksome surfing, though has caused some thinner, super shiny Lycra to gather uncomfortably during the course of a ride and demands physically lifting (rather than shuffling) one’s derriere fore/aft.

On the flip side, it’s a boon when leaning back against the saddle, maintaining traction when negotiating long descents/looser surfaces. Curiously, the (164mm) athletic version only comes in male centric dimensions and on balance might’ve been optimal for said build. However, this experience serves to illustrate that not everything can be reduced to a series of formulas/calculations.

A recent spate of burglaries in this otherwise peaceful locale’ is a poignant reminder to review and bolster security. This needn’t involve colonies of CCTV but assessing things as a professional or opportunist thief might enables one to close certain avenues of potential attack.  

On some levels it’s ironic (given the prevalence of “community spirited curtain twitching”) that people’s behaviours are scrutinised with such intensity, yet these voyeurs mysteriously see and hear nothing during attempted/burglaries. (Don’t get me started on the omnipresent crescendo of barking dogs).

Naturally, these violations are met with eloquent choruses to the effect of “aint it awful”. Fear not, a neighbourhood watch group is coming into force, though again, I fear this says more about certain folks’ love of spearheading committees rather than pragmatic purpose.

Since time in memorial bikes have been thief magnets. I regularly introduce layers of complication be it a gamekeeper or upgraded/additional locking that will certainly slow their progress and hopefully deter. Simple measures like closing gates increases risks of thieves being seen/ heard/ disturbed, ditto laying pea-gravel/shingle or planting prickly foliage/trellis at strategic points.

Gates with solid centre panels might keep prying eyes out; though also provide those with low morals to "work" uninterrupted on the other side...

Datatag and similar hi-tech systems are another useful tool, though more in a stolen/recovered context. Slipping a piece of laminated card with name, date of birth, blood type and address inside handlebars and other contact points costs nothing-can be invaluable in this and accident contexts.

Cockpit Swaps & Brave New Worlds

Having acquired the necessary contact points, I returned from a much needed week of temping, determined to commence transplant surgery. Tubby tourer plucked from its slumber, I harvested fresh control cables, snips, tune-up stand, Allen keys and grease gun.

While hardly mechanically challenging, it’s time consuming nonetheless- unless you’ve gone the old school “Benotto” route, since even the best handlebar coverings become seemingly inseparable from their hosts given a few seasons. This two year old Cinelli EVA being no exception. However, firmly endeared to its combination of rugged materials and damping prowess, salvage was my preferred option. Twenty minutes hence, nimble fingers and perseverance saw both rolls free and intact.

Wholesale cable replacements were another hassle I sought to swerve. Previous estimation suggested a shorter stem would offset the Mungo’s more voluptuous curves, rendering this process unnecessary, so, brimming with optimism I slackened and slid the Microshift brifters free.

Unexpected complication awaited me elsewhere, courtesy of a headlock preload bolt system displaying early signs of galvanic corrosion. Full length mudguards and stout Teflon/ceramic greases give most things a sporting chance on daily drivers but the latter had vanished without trace.

Demon purged with assistance from Long T handled Allen key and maintenance spray; the Salsa/WTB combo was swiftly substituted for One23 and Mungos. Firmly focused, I introduced the Microshift Brifter, allowing sufficient slack for some minor, tool free manoeuvrings.

Cable length seemed operationally bang on (though may be trimmed in due course), confirmed by pumping the brakes and cruising fore and aft along the cassette a few times, while provocatively turning the bars. 

Alignment was pretty near too, verified with a spirit level and some tentative tweaking. Dynamo headlamp and other creature comforts, repatriated, narrow swift pattern saddle substituted in favour of Spa cycles broader Nidd (essentially a heavier duty B17 homage) transformation was almost complete.

I had some white Lizard skins DSP wrap doing something close to nothing but while extremely crisp and delightfully tactile, the black speckled Cinelli is infinitely more practical. Experience suggests better quality wraps tolerate several removal/fitments and Cinelli was no exception-I was even able to reuse the pre-existing electrical tape!

Formative impressions are extremely favourable, though care’s needed to avoid more pronounced brifters fouling brickwork, render and other abrasives when slipping through alleys and side entrances. Hence the Sugru end caps.  There’s also an element of “Hawthorne Effect”- any alteration either feels euphoric or alien for the first hundred miles or so…

Much has been made of Google’s new “driverless” vehicle, with business, innovation and skills secretary, Vince Cable and indeed many cycling forum participants calling for their widespread adoption. Superficially, removing driver error theoretically makes the roads safer but is this (or indeed, any technology) truly fool or tamper-proof and what of the wider, unspoken implications.

The early 1980s saw widespread embrace of robot spot welders in car factories, lowering labour requirements/costs, optimising efficiency and quality. Ah, but spot welding is a very simple, semi-skilled process and therefore easily programmed. Peugeot cycles adopted similar automated technologies on their mass produced HLE tubed framesets and OEM/factory built wheels are generally by machine too.

However, these automatons work to set tolerances. Artificial intelligence will doubtless render my comments (and workforces) redundant in the fullness of time but a good wheel builder or skilled welder will recognise optimum tension or weld penetration by feel/sight.  The same applies to vehicles-many driving instructors taught parking/manoeuvres by wrote-three turns to the right, one back etc. Once again, these have very limited horizons.

There is no doubt, this and other technology has been readily available in various forms for some time now, often transitioning from military applications (Collimator lenses used to guide lasers readily employed in modern lighting systems are prime examples). So therefore, vehicles could recognise motor/cyclists, pedestrians/other traffic and theoretically know (calculate) at what speed/distances to brake or pass from.

Longer term, this could literally change our economic landscape. Logistics firms would no longer need to recruit and retain skilled train, HGV and LGV drivers, couriers etc. Taxis could be similarly automated. Traditionally, there have been two voices to the argument around technological change. One suggests that people are liberated from hard, laborious and potentially dangerous jobs and will move into other spheres. Counter proposition points towards “dead trades”, wholesale redundancies with little opportunities for retraining.

Taking the car industry as an example, it was relatively easy for those from a craft/engineering grade to move sideways with relatively little retraining. A coachbuilder once said transition to CAD/CAM, programming roles, technical management fields was straightforward. Semi/unskilled track operatives faced a decidedly uncertain future. Traditionally a blue collar phenomenon, it has begun to impact upon the “professional” classes, who have found it harder to recover from this and previous economic downturns.

Talking of global economies is perhaps slightly contentious in an absolute sense, though politicians influence upon public life is dwindling and their tenure is likely to change from a full to part-time vocation. The 1990s witnessed many losses from the financial sector, some were quickly reabsorbed, others emigrated and retrained in completely different industries. This was something of a culture shock to many who viewed themselves recession and perhaps, future proof and may well prove a trend.