Coming Together

The kind folks at Ison distribution www.ison-distribution.com generously dropped me two of these lovely Genetic (Campag homage) seat post binder bolts yesterday (19 and 22mm just in case). Seizing the moment, I gently manipulated the frame’s ears, applied some composite friendly grease to bolt and post before introducing said components at their correct nm. Some folk still regard torque wrenches as a new-fangled luxury but in my book, lying prone in A&E while an overworked and undervalued nurse plucks shards from one’s buttocks is extremely undignified and totally unnecessary. Emblazoning my moniker along its top tube, fiddly bits are finished and with freshly herded goodies, my ferrous friend can resume secure hibernation until spring while I address pressing business matters and chart long, slippery outings aboard suitably dressed Ilpompino and Univega.

The deskilling debate has been hotly contested in many quarters with equally compelling contradiction. Traditionally this has referred to the labour market, primarily in relation to automation and manual labour. However, it appears increasingly prevalent in other spheres. I was somewhat gobsmacked to hear a police (traffic) officer remark that once someone has successfully passed their driving test; they are by default competent and capable users of the public highway (!) This contradicts widespread driving instructor/examiner conviction that such assessments are simply to ascertain someone is safe to be allowed to operate said vehicle(s) unaccompanied.

London’s seamier districts have always been awash with the unlicensed/uninsured and otherwise illegal drivers. However, toward the end of my twelve years spent navigating the capital on two-wheels, standards of PSV (Public Service Vehicles) operation had become obviously dilute to counteract declining numbers. This new breed of operator often substituted skill and courtesy with a deadly cocktail of elephantine ignorance and aggression toward smaller craft. I even recall the story of one, high on cocaine and deciding his passengers would benefit from a more scenic commute through suburban Kingston-Upon Thames (!)

Far from engaging “Victim” mode, I’m advocating for the re-establishment of “Road craft” whereby we have a collective responsibility to adopt a sense of greater humility, while continuously developing our skills and shedding this corrosive them/us tribalism. Aside from the (very real) fear of their driveway resembling a motorcycle salvage yard, my parents weren’t the least bit hysterical about a strange and irrational interest in middleweight motorcycles running in parallel with that of lightweight bicycles. Rather, they preferred to stress the importance of having a car licence-if for no other reason than to appreciate driver perspective and therefore, perceive potential hazards before they arose. Bottom line, I’m pro cycles but only have a pronounced allergy to stupid/ignorant/myopic humans, whether they be commanding car/van/bus/truck/horse/yak or indeed motor/cycle.

Against this backdrop, I am slightly perturbed by the notion of the UK’s sixteen year olds being able to drive unaccompanied on public roads, albeit behind the wheel of a heavily restricted vehicle. Now (before I’m mown down by an entourage of irate parents defending the civil liberties of their offspring) this has always been possible here under P class-trikes powered by engines no larger than 50cc. I can also appreciate why these micro-vehicles would seem preferable to little darlings terrorising commuter towns/estates astride sports mopeds, bereft of exhaust baffles (in the misguided notion such unleashes extra dobbins!) However, these do teach observation/road craft, contributing to an elevation of driver standards.

The Netherlands and to a lesser extent, Denmark are hailed as pinnacles of achievement when it comes to systems of integrated transport but in common with other social phenomenon, notions of being able to prune and re-pot in the UK is extremely naïve, failing to recognise the pronounced differences in public psyche.

Now, time I was charging some high power commuter lights and replenishing tired AAA cells, lest I fall foul of the fuzz, or worse still, become a statistic on tonight’s moonlit meander.    

Pre Festive Foraging

Seeking solace from keyboard slavery, I headed to the workshop and unearthed these Halo Aero track wheels that had been enjoying extended hibernation. A quick tickling with a soft brush dunked in sudsy bike wash restored their powder coated neon lustre within a matter of minutes. Further rummaging in various stash points retrieved fresh rim tape, two compatible tubes with giraffe-esque valve stems and some 23mm section Specialized tyres.

Folders, especially those bound tightly for any time can prove fiendishly tricky to mount, though these were swept aboard in thirty seconds courtesy that prodigious Cyclo wand type lever. Five minutes sprocket-bobbing later rewarded with two- one Cro-moly, the other ti, both fifteen teeth and sped home on a bed of space age grease so they’ll fit snug but will budge without copious helpings of penetrant spray. On a roll, I happened upon another of the pressure fit SKS cage adaptors so popped that in situ while watching some instantly forgettable late night “chewing gum” television.

These are by far the best of this genre. Paint friendly yet phenomenally tenacious-I’ve carried 25lb old school cyclo crosser by said composite mount without slippage or cataclysmic failure. That said; riders of smaller frames looking to mount symmetrical pairings on seat/down tubes are better served by side-entry cages given the bracket’s greater girth but a moot point on 58/60cm horizontal configurations.   

Had an interesting email from Dani at Foffa bikes (photo credit Tyson Sadlo) inviting me to test their latest hub geared urban scoot, which looks rather fetching from this picture, though suggests clearances might be a bit tight for full length mudguards (fenders) .I’m due to take delivery early January so will reserve judgement until then. Recent years have seen a welcome explosion in wallet friendly, ultra practical everyday bikes but despite being well catered for in terms of trailers, I’m yet to find a bicycle sidecar system that works without being brutally unsympathetic to their hosts-even plain gauge gas pipe tube sets have been known to fracture under such duties. That said; many motorcycle chassis (V-twin Moto Guzzi in particular) suffer similar fates when coupled to outfits.

Critics would argue these belong firmly in museums given the pace of modern traffic but such has tremendous potential during winter when remaining upright takes priority.  Speaking of which, Joshua and I have both succumbed to a spot of tyre slide on separate occasions this week. Experience meant I kept Univega in check across a greasy manhole cover while turning right, whereas he wasn’t so lucky- nothing more serious than a twisted saddle and dented pride mind.

Talking of rubber, since roads are slimy as opposed to snowy for the foreseeable weeks, I’m off astride the Ilpompino to see how these 29mm Halo twin rail courier Berlin and my modified fibre flare mount behave. Said fixer’s sportier configuration means the mono stay now doubles as a nifty mount for this literally brilliant GLO blinker4 http://www.bicyclelightshop.com/collections/rear-led-lights/products/rear-bike-light-led-big-blinker. Hopefully the dreaded “hiss” will remain firmly the preserve of pantomime, especially since fresh supplies of 18-25mm tubes and patch kits haven’t arrived yet.   

Parts & Pragmatism

Frustration with a small, print focused publishing house continues to ruminate, though I’ve reached a state of dispassionate pragmatism, choosing to divert creative energies into book projects and related business opportunities. Sample chapters have been submitted to a respected US publisher for consideration, which will determine whether I assume this traditional (preferred) path, or self-publish via online platform. Either way, such endeavours cannot be left languishing on hard drives/portable storage.

Elsewhere, the Holdsworth’s reincarnation prompted investment in another Czech made headset press, saving time and upheaval, though the Labyrinth nature of said steed’s Woodman Saturn unit proved something of a puzzle with few clues online. Woodman’s website was the first and arguably obvious starting point- PDFs simpered enticingly but several attempts at downloading proved fruitless. Mercifully, this exploded diagram materialised on my desktop’s hard-drive while trawling for some equally elusive photographs.

Twenty minutes and a liberal slathering of ceramic grease later saw front end reinstated with this exquisite Torus titanium stem leading the charge. Further foraging unearthed contact points and transmission components but its chrome plated, Campagnolo pattern seatpost binder bolt still eludes me.

Thankfully, these remain readily available and cheap as the proverbial portion of chips.  I’ve earmarked a set of rather fetching, deep section Halo hoops with powder coated rims and large flange hubs for their solid, yet sprightly charms. This and tyre choice will be contemplated further during that strange limbo land between festive Cyclo Cross meets and New Year.  

Temping was never intended as an economic staple (arguably the same sentiments have been ushered by countless numbers of people entering car/similar assembly lines) and while lacking the same degree of mind-numbing monotony, has nonetheless lead me down some distinctly dead-ends. Having acknowledged this and a desire to acquire a separate, skilled second/tertiary income stream to support scribing of various genres, I’ve decided to reinvestigate vocational qualifications in holistic therapies.

Massage is fascinating; although difficult to practice with any commercial continuity given my gender. However, I was recently invited to explore reflexology and believe this may well prove fruitful. Cost implications seem pretty reasonable too. Progression will depend upon my perceived suitability-standards of education certainly fulfil one set of criteria but those with directly related skills/qualification/experience are undoubtedly at an advantage.

Having spent several years experimenting with varying genres of photography, I’ve decided my commercial focus lies with industrial, product and portraiture. The latter seems a touch woolly/over-subscribed but I have a very specific target audience in mind. Knowing one’s market is the difference between success and obscurity. Swapping the Univega’s headset spacers has indeed cured the sloppy steerer bearing blues, so I’m off to ponder strategies from its saddle.    

Transformation Complete

Having left Kushi KA for servicing/MOT testing, Meg the magic (Nissan) Micra spirited us to Maldon Shot blasting & Powder coating for the grand finale’. Upon arrival, Chris had already tended the affected areas with Metafil-an aluminium based filler that seems much sleeker than thermal putties, although care is needed to avoid generating air bubbles since these can bleed through during the final curing phase.

Perhaps unsurprisingly given its age, there’s trace, corrosion induced pitting along the inner, drive-side chainstay, thankfully long dormant and before my adoption. This superficial scarring won’t present in the final colour coat, nonetheless, Chris leaves nothing to chance and gives said section a final, precautionary tickling in the glass bead cabinet.

Three minutes later, we’re ready for masking and that all-important zinc phosphate primer. Pedants might advocate chromates but the former is much kinder to personnel and planet while performance differentials are negligible. Indeed this brand cures with phenomenal, seemingly elastic tenacity given ten minutes at 200 degrees whereupon Chris graciously offers to create an exotic two-tone effect with no cost implication. However, accepting such would be tantamount to bladder milking, so we commence with RAL5024-pastel (sometimes called “French”) blue.

Being an electrostatic process, there’s no wastage and he achieves comprehensive, even coverage in five minutes, lovingly hanging it in their walk in oven for a further ten. At this juncture decals can be applied and sealed under a two-pack lacquer but I prefer a quiet, mysterious air. Speaking of which, there’s no need to clear coat-a finish of this calibre will look resplendent for many years. However, an acrylic was applied since opportunity presented itself.

Unlike polyesters, there’s no risk of crazing but acrylics cannot be sprayed to warm surfaces; hence said chassis sits patiently for twenty minutes beforehand. Lacquers appear white for sprayer convenience but form a glossy invisible barrier within the oven. Job done, we are reunited and homeward bound. Once again, I’d like to thank Lee Cooper (www.leecoopercycles.webs.com) and MSBC (http://ctc-powder-coating.co.uk/) for their remarkable generosity of spirit and obviously, taking such good care of my beloved frame.  

In the days since, I’ve reinstated the sealed square taper bottom bracket and am reflecting on headsets while doing some post (successful pass) MOT sill surgery- Kushi’s are sound, though demanded sanding and marine primer TLC to halt the silent killer’s relentless advances during the grottier months. Now, off to play with some 700x29 tyres!

  

With A Little Help From My Friends

Having returned from the midlands, I wasted no time in dropping the Holdsworth at Maldon Shot Blasting & powder Coating. Despite considerable demand for their services, Chris made concerted efforts to commence work on Wednesday morning, submerging it within their slightly sinister looking chloride tank, which softens the existing finish in a matter of minutes. Satisfied of even saturation, my ferrous friend is plucked free and placed within the iron oxide cabinet ready for blasting. Starting at the bottom bracket shell, these finer particles are projected at lower pressure, yet dismisses the beleaguered blue livery with remarkable efficiency, leaving behind a clean, lightly sanded texture perfect for receiving the new primer and topcoats.

Obviously, this chemical romance consumes filler too, so pre-existing superficial dents around the top and head tube will be given fresh helpings of Thermabond putty beforehand. Job-lot finishers would go straight to paint, attempting to mask these imperfections with heavier powder but this always bleeds though and looks second rate. Traditional fillers are porous, so will blow, ruining the finish as it oven cures, so the only other option would involve filling the affected with brass and smoothing it flat.    

Elsewhere, Uncle Benny came to my rescue on the coldest night thus far. Swooping serenely past his house on the newly fettled Ilpompino, our zen-like mood was rudely interrupted by the rear tyre’s sudden loss of pressure. Carrying said steed sixty odd metres to his welcoming (not to mention well-lit) veranda, I was extracting the rear wheel when he opened the door, inviting me and stricken spherical into the warm.

Boiling kettles muffled impolite curses upon discovering both tyre levers crumbling under moderate strain and several small but troublesome lesions in the previously invulnerable 24mm Halo rubber (which ironically had superseded 25mm thick slicks that succumbed to similar fate twenty three hours earlier). 

Having filled this with Bostick’s finest while slurping piping hot diesel strength beverage, I introduced a fresh tube only to find my ultra-efficient SKS hand-pump had also blown its last…Luckily enough, I’d a fully loaded CO2 dispenser en tow-110psi reinstated in a matter of seconds. Beverages consumed, pump binned and wheel repatriated, we were home in twelve minutes. Naturally I’ve since added two replacement tubes, levers, canister and mini pump to proceedings.

Despite forecaster predictions, artic winds have brought freezing rain as opposed to snowfall, thus Univega has retained those semi-slick Panaracer RIBMO for time being. Aheadset bearings have continued to slacken every forty odd miles, leading me to repatriate the spacer below the stem. Theoretically this configuration will increase the load exerted by its heavy duty headlock (as distinct from star fangled nut) cancelling out further outbreaks of unwanted play.

Experiencing creative fatigue, I noticed the rear derailleur cable run from lever to first guide seemed a little strained so re-routed and replaced its inner wire before drizzling some clever looking Muc-Off C3 ceramic dry lube into each and every chain link. “Alien” green upon contact, it cures clear and supposedly offers similar tenacity to a wet lube but with much slicker, cleaner running. Seems delightful thus far, making easy transition to cleat/similar mechanisms, doubling as a decent assembly paste on mudguard/carrier bolts too.

Most potions tend to consist of two parts-a super invasive polymer lubricant and boron nitride stopper/thickening agent that prevents dismissal come the first puddle. There’s even a UV torch included, supposedly ensuring comprehensive, unabridged coverage but while certainly different, in practice it doesn’t seem to offer any real benefit since green is pretty difficult to miss! Still, the next few hundred road miles will reveal this particular formula’s foibles.

   

Blink n' You'll Miss It

Recent weeks have literally passed with electrifying pace and being the season of ever encroaching darkness, I’ve been happily putting blinkies of varying fire-power and orientations through their paces. As with anything, there are some remarkably tall, not to mention endearing myths about power outputs. Raw figures can be very misleading. However; suggestion that 300 lumens represent sufficient navigational clout for unlit rural stuff beyond 12mph induces hyena-esque laughter from yours truly.

500 upwards is my benchmark, though while 1000+ is absolutely superb, greater sensitivity and deft dipping is required to avoid diplomatic incidents. Speaking of focus, I’m always amazed by the power of deadlines to motivate remarkable achievement. This gyroscopic effect has also resulted in progression with book chapters and other project management, which can be overlooked given competing, everyday professional/personal priorities.

Lee Cooper (http://leecoopercycles.webs.com/) dropped me an email advising the Holdsworth’s structural repair was complete- timely since I was heading to Birmingham on Friday the 15^th to see Soul II Soul perform at the Town Hall. So I arranged to head up on the Thursday and leave it in a dry, locked and moreover secure location while this and photographic projects were pursued with commensurate vigour. Maldon Shot blasting & Powder Coating were generous enough to advise they had RAL 5024 in stock, inviting me to drop by with the Holdsworth when a convenient moment presented itself.

Once this stage and front end are reunited, I’ll reassemble, tweaking its original line up with alternatives hibernating in my spares bin. This can be done at my leisure (probably during the Christmas/New Year corridor) as we slide into the salty, slimier season. Judging by recent forecasts, the Univega might be sporting those spiked Schwalbe faster than originally anticipated.

Pleased to report said tubby tourer’s present configuration pleases me immensely, giving a really secure, planted feel, perfect for pacey winter reflections without feeling ponderous. Have experienced some minor slackening of the steerer bearings though-easily tackled with one’s trusty multi tool but might indicate the existing top cap/spacer arrangement needs slight revision.

Taking a totally different tack, while perfectly capable of being loquacious and building constructive professional partnerships, my personality type is one of positive introversion. Far from being constrained or shy, I am thoughtful and deploy these energies constructively wherever possible and do not suffer fools gladly. No shortage of graduates seemingly unable to string a coherent sentence together and I’m yet to meet a construction worker who couldn’t box-though fail miserably when pitted against an amateur fighter of similar weight.

Easy then, to appreciate time-trialling’s allure over massed start racing. Having originally conceived the Holdsworth with precisely this intention, I’ve been somewhat perturbed by recent proposals from Britain’s national governing body (CTT) to outlaw everything non-standard, this includes obsolete parts/frames(!) Presently it’s unclear quite how these rules might be interpreted/ enforced but this doesn’t bode well for our particular ambitions. 

For me, TTs aren’t so much about ego or glory but rather another constructive, disciplined outlet, converting negative energies into something infinitely more empowering. Right, that Chinese titanium seatpost has just arrived, heralding the Ilpompino’s imminent reconfiguration and the Univega’s tyre swap while I’m at it.  

Gout Begins At Forty....

  

Not something commonly associated with seventy odd kilo tea total vegetarians perhaps but I appear to have been bequeathed this excruciatingly painful affliction by my late father. Once thought to be the consequence of a lavish/indulgent lifestyle, received wisdom suggests gout arises from over production of uric acid, leading to joint inflammation.

In this instance we’re talking Podagra-a variant specifically affecting the big toe, which induces sporadic yelps and agricultural utterances when donning snug fitting road/Audax slippers. Anti-inflammatory drugs appear the medical profession’s default option, though research suggests that antioxidants, concentrated vitamin C and upping good (as distinct from junk) fluid intake play a central role in exorcising said demon. Frankly, the mere thought of pharmaceutical cocktails induces palpable resentment, so I’ll seek guidance from sympathetic practitioners and explore naturally occurring alternatives.

Thankfully since riding elevates my mood, I’ve been chasing through the lanes, battling some seriously stormy conditions, hoping improved toxin flushing blood flow will reciprocate. Other casualties included the chain pin function of this long serving Specialized EMT, finally succumbing to fatigue after five years and countless road, trail and indeed, workshop service. No danger of retirement mind, since everything else remains absolutely A1-testament to tooling quality.

On a happier note, spent several fun days in the midlands, which included seeing Jamie Cullen and support perform live at Birmingham Symphony Hall. Lee Cooper has extracted the Holdsworth’s fractured shell and is in the process of cleaning the tubes before introducing its replacement. Temptation to add braze-on bottle bosses creeps in every so often but rebuffed on the grounds of structural integrity-even the most skilfully applied heat causes some very minor weakness, which is unnecessary given sturdy, paint friendly adaptors are plentiful these days. Nonetheless, this has prompted me to rethink livery-there’s no doubting RAL5012 is an extremely alluring colour, only something like RAL 5014 or 5024 signifies a fresh start/new chapter without “specialist” cost implication.

Speaking of which, my titanium fetish continues to blossom courtesy of this Swift-esque “Aire” saddle from Harrogate based SPA cycles.  http://www.spacycles.co.uk/products.php?plid=m2b0s204p2863. Saving 171g on its ferrous sibling adds £35 to the ticket price, though even with regular feeding I’m banking on six hundred miles before my derriere’s completely smitten. While harvesting used Alpha compatible Minolta lenses, studio backdrops and Christmas presents online, an editorial cheque fluttering through my letterbox induced spontaneous investment in a 400mm ti post, which will play a lead role in the Ilpompino’s friskier makeover.