Snow White, the Salt Monster & Sexy Bottle Cages

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the one’s we used to know-ah yes, those halcyon days where jealous siblings unburdened themselves into their rival’s new “Action Man” tank sometime between the first guests arriving and the queen’s speech…Mercifully I appear to be avoiding my  seasonal slump little by little...

Rory Hitchens at Upgrade was kind enough to let me play with his stunning Kinesis Pro 6 build. Race whippet first and foremost, well conceived civilising features (fenders, four point carrier fixings, two bottle bosses and chain pip) coupled with tyre swap makes effortless transformation to frisky sportive demon, winter plaything or indeed weekend tourer.

£2400 buys some beautiful kit and I’ve been particularly smitten with TRP’s Paradox  brakeset, which is essentially a hybrid design incorporating a unique stem mounted junction box (aka the parabox) that translates standard cable pull into hydraulic force. In common with Shimano and Magura, the hydraulic components run on mineral, not DOT fluids. Using the latter will cannibalise hoses and olives irreparably fast but in any case leakages/damage should be firmly in blue moon territory.

Being an open design means pads automatically adjust closer to the rotors as they wear, which can be the difference between Santa safely stopping his Bob Yak and the lever bottoming uselessly against his handlebars.  Despite being completely under its spell, I was somewhat relieved when the courier came to collect, since having a machine that valuable residing in my garage this time of year (let alone one that didn't belong to me) meant my inane grin was increasingly giving way to creeping paranoia.

This repatriation prompted a fleet rotation, Izzie Ilpompino being the obvious choice since fixed gives much better feedback and control, as the roads turn increasingly wintry. Cyclo cross geometry inspires a suitably engaging, yet stable passage over slimy asphalt, although the sudden plunge in temperatures induced a gritting frenzy of the sort requiring fastidious applications of bike wash, rinsed off in cold water so as to avoid hastening the corrosive, chemical reaction.

An evenings' saunter through minus five left me dangerously cold, despite winter weight gloves, bib tights, base layers, long sleeved jersey, training jacket, thermal hat and water proof socks-hence my faithful companion was popped away in the garage still wearing covering of said caustic brew...Within twenty four hours, it had already sunk its teeth into the paint, a chip or two incurred during earlier rides already succumbing to the dreaded brown taint. 

Easily cured with a rub back and retouch perhaps but illustrates the horrifying haste at which the salt monster attacks anything remotely exposed. Really, really cold conditions can also do interesting things to synthetic lubes and accidental over application of this otherwise superb Fenwick’s' stealth (easily the cleanest, yet most tenacious road prep gracing my chains to date) saw it become a sludgy mess within sixty miles. Unleaded petrol proved the best stripping medicine and I allowed the Stealth to thin in a bowl of very warm water for twenty minutes before delicately applying a trace amount deep into every link via its pipette style dropper.

On a happier note, another temp role presented itself and there's been no shortage of Gizmos such as this literally all singing and dancing USB charging Mio computer/GPS/HRM system. Ultra comprehensive, set up and calibration are surprising straightforward, although calls for a methodical approach- its the sort you set up on a wet Saturday afternoon, not twenty minutes before a group ride.

Aside from some initial communication problems between sensor and magnet (solved by replacing the latter with one hibernating in the spares drawer) we’ve been bonding surprising well given it does pretty much everything bar make the tea, although there’s probably a downloadable app for that too!  

Speaking of tipples, Lezyne flow SL might be just the ticket if you've bought a small semi/compact geometry frameset and are finding the main triangle a wee bit on the bijous side for two trade bottles. Made from a composite matrix (blend of sophisticated plastics to you n’ me) and 48g, it can't quite muster the same bragging rights as carbon but I'm really endeared to the left/right handed options that arguably add that final personalised touch-especially to a bespoke build.  

Right then, back to those pre Christmas deadlines…

Stay Away From The Fog...

With deeply unrewarding temp role coming to an expedient end, relief was quickly superseded by a sense of economic alarm. Still, I’m retaining a sense of stoical pragmatism and enjoying the steady precession of test goodies coupled with the odd 150 saunter up country to the marvellous midlands, widely recognised as Britain’s industrial heartland. Twenty odd miles south of Birmingham sits Coventry’s transport museum. Entry is free but donations keep those rooms brimming with old scooters, motorcycles, and cars and not forgetting examples of fine cycle manufacture in fine fettle.

Damp and perpetually gloomy November weather seems ideal testing ground for the unsung heroes-lubes, greases, polishes for our bikes, waterproof socks, gloves and of course beanies to keep us churning away in relative comfort. However, my tempo along the lanes is dictated by an advancing black dog called D. Depression is an overused term but in its real forms, a genuinely horrible, debilitating condition that I am determined to avoid. Right now I am very low and see this as the body’s way of communicating a need to confront some fairly fundamental stuff festering unchecked for some time.

A major component of this is professional frustration. My journalism/photography brings immense satisfaction and defines me on so many levels. Contrast this with an incessant tide of nondescript temporary roles in unrelated fields with people whom I share little, or no common ground. Therefore, strident efforts are being made to secure a relevant vocational opportunity that would have deeply empowering effect upon my outlook right now…Hmm, I’ve got a great face for radio…Anyone need a slot filling?  

Meanwhile, back at the test bench... Motorex bike shine is a spray formula designed to keep winter’s silt, slurry and spatter from clinging to polished, painted, plated and even plastic surfaces. However, steer clear of contact points and braking surfaces, for reasons, which should be obvious… I was surprised to learn it’s actually silicone based since while these usually deliver a protective showroom shine fine for bikes in seasonal hibernation, they generally attract, rather than repel dirt.

Talk of the devil; its solvent carrier gobbles dilute spatter and similarly light road grime on contact but salt encrusted winter hacks and muddy crossers will need a good old fashioned bucket wash n’ dry first (cold in the first context since hot only serves to accelerate the chemically corrosive reaction). From here, it’s simply a question of spraying short bursts into a clean lint-free cloth and buffing to a jewelled effect. Previous blends have been really handy for my cyclo crosser, although several tins of beeswax furniture polish can e had for the same money and do broadly the same thing, although admittedly require more frequent application. 

    

Their dry lube is another curiosity, not least since it’s actually a hybrid, supposedly offering the cleanliness of dry and wets tenacity. Since the brand specialises in petrochemical products, I expected it to perform well but hadn’t bargained for the speed at which the chain and to a lesser extent, cassette looked grubby. 

Having cleaned the chain thoroughly to rule out cross contamination, simply twist the spout and apply, holding some more clean rag or kitchen towel beneath since it literally races into every link. Initial impressions are favourable- slick, silent and very tenacious but side plates are demanding weekly wiping. This sounds ideal for Joshua, since he’s suddenly spread wings and begun riding to school, although I’ve discovered he’s be sneaking out sans lights-hence these Torch/One23 have found themselves tethered to handlebars and helmet.

Soggy feet are another unwelcome winter experience. Overshoes are the obvious solution since they also protect expensive race slippers from the salt monster. However, I find them cumbersome at the best of times so was suitably cheered by the arrival of these thin, calf length Seal Skinz Socks. Fully waterproof when immersed to the elasticated cuff, they’re incredibly comfortable worn with all genres of riding footwear and an obvious choice for mountain biking and cross antics. Odour control seems generally good but washing’s no more complicated than popping them on a cool, machine cycle.

Tempered Frustrations

With the arrival of my thirty-ninth year swept some serious introspection and longing for greater professional achievement, while still grounded in the reality that temping remains a necessary, albeit sometimes deeply dissatisfying part of my economic diet. Petty frustrations have been eroding my resolve and self-indulgent as this sounds, the prospect of having to attend an organisation awash with consultants and managerial competence broadly on terms with the long defunct British Leyland certainly isn’t helping.

This is tempered by economic pragmatism and softened with the steady stream of very fetching kit gracing my doorstep in recent weeks. Leather saddles and accessories such as this Derwent from Harrogate based SPA cycles; commuter plus lighting from Blackburn, Cat-Eye, Electron, Knog and Lezyne have all been keeping the Univega and I churning through the lonesome lanes. Some divine force must’ve been looking upon me favourably the other evening since I’d left said tubby tourer outside all night (!) but thankfully found it still resting by the garage door come the morning…Things could’ve been so different and I can’t think how I’d forgotten to tuck my two wheeled friend safely away. 

Commuter plus rechargeable lighting designed for suburban saunters by day and faster paced road outings come the evening have been a notable growth market in recent years, with ever more lumens and sleeker styling to boot. Tipping the scales at 183g (including li-on battery) this Swedish Silva Pave’ lamp belts out 550 lumens in top for back road scratching, yet has a standard and flashing settings ideally suited to sub/urban contexts. Intelligent light is another term that’s been banded about for a few seasons too.

We’ve commonly understood this to mean a system that automatically kicks down to conserve power, thus greatly reducing incidents of unexpected failure. However, in this context, it refers to the deployment of both flood and spot beams simultaneously. Despite some initial scepticism, it’s pretty close to being best of both worlds and works particularly well atop a lid. Slightly underpowered as a main lamp for singletrack duties, it’s bang on for the sticks and offers decent economy between five-hour mains charging.  Continued, positive feedback in relation to my interviews and similar magazine development is another positive facet that bolsters my mood.

Joshua is presently contributing to this earlier sense of anxiety, having disengaged from the school curriculum and seemingly entering a parallel, Lego derived universe (similar in nature to my legendary teenage two wheeled classroom escapes). Prolonged but generally constructive discourse with his class and head teachers confirms they too are acutely aware of his academic potential but cannot fathom this particular set of behaviours either.

   

Mathematics seems to be a major mental block and in my view, the catalyst but I’m at a loss how to help him overcome his sense of panic aside from encouraging him to talk to me on the one hand, while incorporating very small components of applied numerecy in everyday and sometimes cycling contexts. Having indulged in some new camera equipment, I’ve passed an old Fuji to him-there’s plenty of creative scope and he’s certainly engaging with it for sustained periods-mostly in semi automatic P setting.

This leads me nicely to these Mac Wet sports gloves, not cycling specific but highly suited to the great outdoors, they’re increasingly developing a strong following amongst the photographic community thanks to their wind and water repellent fabrics. The latter, known as Aquatec also ensures leach like grip when conditions turn distinctly soggy but mercifully also breathes; thus avoiding clammy digits. Padding is virtually non-existent so not ideal for long outings over inclement road surfaces, although double as neat liners for breathable winter gloves. Right I’m off to chase the blues away, put some more miles on the Nidd and lights through their paces.

Wagons Roll!

Life's as much about working smart as it is hard and old adages in reference to busy folk getting things done seem very colloquial at present. Falling leaves of radiant colours signal the end of trade shows and the steady procession of fresh samples wind their way to my door.

Had a wonderful email from Gary Rothera advising his order book has gone into orbit and thanking me for interviewing him for a UK title. Consequently, he’s sending me some fresh lines to play with and should temping maintain consistent cadence, I’ll pop along to Lee Cooper with the Holdsworth and have him perform replacement bottom bracket shell surgery as a Christmas pressie to myself. Obviously, “Ninja Blue” will need new livery but I’ll leave that in the capable hands of Maldon Shot blasting & powder coating. 

Every so often, I get fanciful ideas about upgrading the Univega’s front end in favour of a carbon fork, disc braked configuration but monies are better invested elsewhere-last year it was replenishing tiring camera bodies/lenses and this season a laptop’s looking likely.

On the consumerables front, a sudden spike in tube munching amongst the fleet (Valve stem failure, rather than belted tyre casings not doing their stuff) has necessitated buying in of fresh stock and I might go the bulk purchase bargain route should opportunity present itself. Afterall, is there such a thing as too many when it comes to the humble butyl inner tube?

Speaking of which, replacing its ailing UN52 signalled time for a good wash and hard paste car waxing to purge grime and spray that, despite full length, portly mudguards never fails to accumulate around the fork blades, seat and chainstays. Cursory inspection also revealed a dragging cantilever arm and fraying cable. But both demons were swiftly defeated with a quick squirt of water displacer, tweaking of cable tension and of course, some superglue.     

Dwindling daylight has revealed the limitations of the more powerful commuter plus 200lumen lamps with integral rechargeable li-on cells. Sure, they’ll keep pace with the suburbs and are perfectly adequate in the “being seen” sense but don’t cajole oncoming drivers into dipping their main beams.  Ergo the Magicshine and its previous, quirkier incarnation will become regular features, even if they sit on the lower 450 lumen setting, delivering Audax friendly six hour run times from a single charge.

Hold the front page! I've just landed this Exposure Revo dynamo headlamp. Designed as an integrated system with the UK marque's range of hubs and rear plug in lamps, it belts out a phenomenal eight hundred lumens with nominal effort.

Ours has behaved impeccably with an Ultegra dynohub, delivering the sort of crisp, flicker free illumination perfect for navigating unlit rural backwaters at thirty and less challenging singletrack to around twenty. Oncoming SUVs dip their headlamps at around three hundred and fifty metres and some drivers even stop!

Stand light technology means the lamp remains lit for up to ten minutes when stationary coming back on stream with a quick nudge of the front wheel. Suffice to say I'm completely smitten! 

Coupling this with my previous commentary on the importance of effective rider-specific illumination has me researching suitable options for the trailer.

Just when I was about to launch into rocking horse/hens’ teeth analogies, along comes Fibre Flare with their range, which looks to offer the perfect blend of surface area, output and rubberised mounting hardware.

They’re offering two mini front models designed to bolster peripheral prowess and I’m visualising three originals lain horizontally at the rear and shotgun on the side rails with two miniature white models positioned vertically at the front, thus completing the flight path runway/grotto effect handsomely.

UK law only prescribes a single, rear light but in my view, it’s insufficient and inviting a SMIDSY moment when leaving junctions. Most drivers will not be factoring in a coupling, especially those piloting lowered Saxo with thumping base and big can announcing their distinct lack of virility …

  

Nothing came of approaching that local publisher with my series of short children’s fiction but undeterred, preliminary discussions with another small scale company looks a little more promising, albeit tempered with a level spoonful of realism. Afterall, feedback of all kinds, not just the pretty stuff is how we progress, develop and improve-if we really want to.     

Get some nuts, temp work and install a new bottom bracket while you’re at it!

You at the back, stop guffawing! I’m referring to the track variety and more specifically these electroplated beauties from the good folk at Edinburgh Bicycle. These are designed so their sadly defunct Cargo trailer can couple with fixed, or indeed other steeds using solid axles. Might need to revise that eighty-one inch gear though…Time will tell. Falling leaves also signalled the boxing up and return of their Audax bike-its been a very welcome, albeit temporary addition to the fleet and I’ll confess to shedding a farewell tear as I drew the gaffer tape taught around the box. However, akin to ET, it didn’t belong in my world/workshop indefinitely.

Experience suggests there’s a fine line between complimentary, dare I say comforting clutter and that countering creative flow. A healthy sense of organised chaos permeates my workspace and on a day-to day basis, this works just fine. However, a post features/testing binge calls for cathartic cleansing of papers and where appropriate, repatriation of equipment. In common with most teenagers, I had dreams of professional recognition as a successful author-name in lights stuff. Fundamentally nothing has changed and these remain a central focus or paraphrasing Tom Simpson, “Something to aim at”.

Both book projects continue with a gentle, lapping tide of progression. However, a sense of pragmatism dictates that freelancers adopt other flexible income streams. While something of a frustration, it is impossible to remain relentlessly creative, nay productive on a 24/7 basis

Many, myself included have a notion that if we’re not locked away in our studios or  ivory towers; then by definition we are not working. Creative forums can serve as useful  springboards but all too often descend into habitual and moreover dis empowering grumble fests sapping morale and moreover ingenuity. Thankfully a temp opportunity arose which helps with short- term liquidity while allowing investment in other areas.

Speaking of which, I’ve discovered Green Oil can supply their chain degreaser in workshop quantities (forms the basis of their miraculous citrus based bike wash when diluted) so I’ll be investing in some. They’ve also sent some second generation “White” clean lube. Devoid of petrochemicals, the original was good (at least while it lasted-we were averaging a mere forty road miles per application) so it’ll be interesting to see how the new formula compares.  

Dressed in black patent leather, I feel so much better…as the weather starts becoming more inclement and nightfall descends around 19.30, I’ve resurrected these Bontrager twin bolt commu-tour types. Low “ deft lick of the Jey cloth” maintenance, grippy soles and neutral colours compliment both ends of the wardrobe, although their footbeds were firmly in wallpaper stripping territory given a few season’s service! A fresh set of cleats completes the makeover and the design is just narrow enough to accommodate traditional overshoes should things turn decidedly damp…Shame they’re no longer current-although online retailers seem to have healthy stocks at generous discounts…

A penny shy of £70 this rather fetching Dhb EQ 2.5 jacket continues my black theme. It’s an affordable weatherproof model with a sportier than average, tailored cut that still entertains the time honoured base layer and race jersey combo. Red/black or grey/green are the similarly subtle alternatives, which may not be to everyone’s taste in murky weather and a few moonlit miles saw me don a Sam Browne belt or reflective tabard for enhanced road presence. On the flip side, the darker colours and Teflon coating slows the advance of grimy patinas in between low temperature machine washes.

Moisture management is pretty much on par with competitor models, keeping pace with my own at steady cadences and to around 20mph. Upping the tempo closer to chain gang speeds sees it struggle, especially when the mercury creeps into double figures but its available in gender specific cuts and seems ideally suited to winter proper (November-March).

 Much is made of China's status as an economic powerhouse and its implications for the West. Schools in particular have been quick to leap on a dogmatic bandwagon of teaching Mandarin. However, thanks to an ageing population and one child policy, the numbers of economically active adults fuelling its corporate engine will be greatly reduced with crippling implications.

Arguably next in line are India and Brazil, so Punjabi or Portuguese might be more prudent. Some within the cycle industry are suggesting the rising costs of imports from the Far East may be fuelling a slow but steady return to large- scale domestic production of lightweight frames…

Right, I’ll leave you all to ponder this while I whip out my big 13-½ inch (33.5cm) Lezyne CNC rod and replace the Univega’s cartridge bottom bracket. 

Different Perspectives, Wider Horizons

Autumn has arrived with a vengeance, damp and dewy by sunrise and dark come 7pm. A veritable clotheshorse by my own admission, I’ve cycling attire for pretty much every occasion but hadn’t bargained on how quickly daylight would succumb to dusk and therefore darkness.  This led me to conclude that accessories are just as significant as high power lighting systems when it comes to being acknowledged by drivers. Donning day glow de feet gloves, reflective helmet band and vest along with dynamo and assorted blinkeys have proved more effective than clusters of bike mounted lighting more befitting a Mods’ scooter.

Talk of the devil and with “Mod” chic once more en vogue, it was ironic that Joshua and I should find us at the dvlc scooter rally. Mirroring cycling club meets, these are nothing like you’ll see at the movies. Iconic machines of every description from unrestored series II Lambretta to contemporary Piaggio passed in majestic convoy or sat patiently in the sidings while owners congregated for a convivial chinwag.  I nearly bought a restored LD150 back in 1992 for £450. My late grandfather had two, an LD and later a Li 125. Painstakingly executed custom airbrushed artwork has long been a sub cultural norm, often exceeding the two-stroke’s book price but to date, this Vespa T5 is the only example I’ve seen with a cycling theme.  

They bid me come out how could I say no, they said meet us at eight, round at our place you know…A recent business trip took me to the Midlands and indeed, a barbecue on one evening. As both coals and conversation warmed, a guest happened to let slip that he’d worked the line at Peugeot, welding door sections for nigh on a decade before seizing escape in the form of early redundancy and higher education. The significance of this being that I am also researching a book abut the lives of those who’d worked in the car industry and the impact of its collapse upon the host communities. The media tends only to focus upon assembly line “operatives” in the context of tragedy-suicide, bankruptcy or indeed both.

Reductionist theories suggesting the semi-skilled either fell into the mire or simply became taxi drivers are at best ludicrously simplistic. As this guest illustrates, for some it will have been the opportunity to pursue infinitely wider horizons, others may have “owed nothing to no-one” and taken retirement, some may have moved to other assembly line work or retrained… And the conversation changed as the sun went down... 

Sharing an affinity for cycling, talk quickly evolved along the lines of gain/gear ratios, the joy of fixed and his late 1980s/early 90s Nigel Dean road bike. Clearly equipped with the ability to join metal together, I recommended since business was relatively slow, he seek out a week’s hands on “take home what you built” course still run by some of the old (and not so) masters.  

Roast Dawes Galaxy wasn’t on the menu that evening but this rich yellow example is an innovative take on the mummification technique to draw attention from a bike’s true value. Sure, more learned types with ready access to a biro would tell from the calibre of components, chrome plastics, Brooks saddle and dynamo that it was valuable but from a distance and coupled with the old-fashioned quill stem, the disguise certainly works, encouraging nay’r do wells to look for easier pickings such as this mtb inspired commuter.  

Accidents of any kind always raise the issue of cyclists and third party insurance. In principle I am in favour, not through any endearment to the insurance industry but simply for self-preservation. Such policies offered through affiliation to the Cyclists Touring Club (CTC) and London Cycling Campaign will certainly help in the context of legal costs, injury/accident or indeed being sued by another party. Such also reaffirms  cyclists are traffic with the same entitlements to the public highway.

More than can be said of the red 3-series BMW that indulged in a very painful tango with me along Streatham high rd on the 16^th December 2001. Not that the local constabulary were remotely interested, or compassionate for that matter. Cuts, bruises and bent mech/hanger the only real casualties.     

No one can doubt the excitement and dare we say feel-good factor induced by Britain’s Olympic successes and most notably, the Paralympics. However, it would be exceedingly naïve to believe this has induced a longer- term sea change in social attitudes towards disability and opportunities for disabled people per se, not just athletes.

The present administration has been basking in the paralympian triumphs as if they were a product of Whitehall, while introducing sweeping welfare reforms, which will have the effect of muting future sporting success, in turn threatening both the social model of disability and the very underpinnings of meritocracy.  

There is a lot of evidence to suggest the contemporary political elite is something of a homogenous group with their own broadly similar backgrounds and ideals. Moving away from the philosophy of inhuman institutional care was one of the more positive contributions. However, “Care in the community”  based not upon philosophical, but economic reasoning. Aside from breeding grounds for unspeakable cruelty and experimentation, asylums and long stay hospitals were prohibitively expensive to run.

It doesn’t take a business degree to realise a minister’s developer friend could make a small fortune from buying the land and converting said buildings into flats. Sure, we’re twenty odd years on from there but rather akin to “care in the community” which dumped people in one bed flats, often in the more deprived areas with nominal skilled support, vulnerable people are still seen as a problem- expected to forgo access to opportunities and basic everyday living we take for granted. Accident, medical condition and indeed age all have the potential to leave us dependant and with severe, life changing impairments.

Fait accompli

  

With several hundred miles under my derrière, the Spa cycles Aire saddle is finally moulding to my shape, almost to the stage where we can churn away agreeably for several hours in succession. This particular feat of endurance not only boasts a very personal outcome but is strangely satisfying too. Admittedly on some levels, resurrecting the Dia Tech Gran Compe and slipping it between the Ilpompino’s post cradle was a cosmetic exercise since it compliments the fixer’s slightly faded handlebar wrap.

This also proved a timely opportunity to dress them in proofide, nourishing the hide while locking the elements out. Suspicion suggests the saddles were separated at birth-both have an untreated surface and began assuming my profile at 350 miles…I’m one of those riders puncturing infrequently for months and miles on end before being hit with a glut.

Perhaps the Ilpompino was indulging in some attention seeking behaviour but both its thorn-resistant Kenda had inexplicably, not to mention irreparably sheared around the valve stem. Mercifully, while on another mission involving 4 stroke lawn mowers, I uncovered a couple hiding away in unusual places…

Sticking with seating, I toyed with putting an old Turbo that had been doing something close to nothing on ebay but Uncle Benny let slip he wanted something more forgiving to his posterior than the OEM Velo gracing his road bike.

A more befitting 90mm Woodman stem with 17degree rise and a seven speed freewheel (yes, a screw-on!) followed suit; the latter a very fetching nickel plated Sun Race replacing an old Shimano with ailing pawl springs. Talk of the devil, he’s been here all week, replacing my twenty-five year old heating system before winter arrived-it was literally running on goodwill and held together with corrosion!

  

Talking of the devil, changing seasons-not heating engineers, these Lezyne micro/macro drive lights arrived on my desk as a timely reminder perhaps of summer’s swansong and autumn’s advance. True to Lezyne law, they look and perform beautifully.

Non- replaceable li-on cells were a little disappointing but their power to size ratio and intelligent sensors that kick down to conserve power are definite plusses. Diminutive dimensions won’t cramp fixers’ clean lines, there’s sufficient oomph for out of town commutes and as dynamo companions on Audax all-nighters. 

Clutter-phobes are arguably best served by the croquet shaped micro drives that charge directly from the USB but both employ sophisticated diodes, optics and beautifully machined alloy bodies. Lumens; rather akin to camera megapixels sells lights and might earn bragging rights amongst the chain gang but lens quality is what makes ‘em useable.

Both are adequate for navigating poorly lit roads at around 20mph and in the macro’s context at least, oncoming traffic pays heed to around 400 metres on a clear night.  There will always be exceptions to this of course-the most obvious being those who recklessly endanger the lives of others by texting, or indeed watching pornography on their smart phones.

Pre season fleet fettling also meant replacing the Univega’s final outer brake cable run-it’d been cut too short previously and thus inducing some unwelcome binding. The rear hoopl also needed a quick tweak on the wheel builder’s jig but we’re talking £7.50 nuisance value rather than samba dancing. More disconcerting was the cassette’s reluctance to budge, even using Pedro’s vise whip and a long-handled Shimano pattern tool.

A firm lunge finally won the day, freeing the lock-ring whose threads turned out to be profoundly bereft of grease. I can only assume this is the result of harsh solvent cleansers rather than sloppy installation on my part. Nonetheless, I popped the cluster in a redundant ice cream container and administered a liberal blast of WD40 Specialist Fast Acting Degreaser. Residual lube and congealed gunge receded almost immediately, leaving a rather artistic imprint behind. Alas, its solvent component also gobbled the receptacle!

Decay/abandonment, urban and otherwise has long been a passion of mine, hence I popped over to an exhibition of photography taken inside an old; dare we say notorious institution that has been earmarked for housing since its closure in 1997. While admiring the haunting imagery, often taken at very long exposures, I noted a local publisher of children’s fiction looking to hire a freelance illustrator. Not my trade but akin to the old asylum, my hard drive plays host to a series of long forgotten stories so I’ve made some enquiries…Nothing ventured, nothing gained.