Sometimes, enforced leave's the best way to remain focused and moreover productive. Bang up to date with immediate deadlines and other planned works, I took a few days away from the keyboard to photograph petty women against gritty backdrops of urban and coastal decay. Had to do a fair bit of bobby dodging since police and private security firms are very prone to overzealous and dare I say, aggressive misinterpretation of anti terror legislation. On the flip side, there are those who do not help themselves, gaining access to buildings under the misconception that trespass is as serious as things will get, when in fact breaking and entering or indeed, criminal damage is more probable.
Sites of medical/industrial origin present other hazards including asbestos, pigeon faeces, biological/chemical pollution. Depending on their location, squatting and all that it attracts can prove a very dangerous cocktail. Some years ago, I happened upon an abandoned house in one of London’s most deprived districts. A trail of scorched silver foil blowing about this particular tenement was a clear indicator of what awaited me as I zipped through an adjoining alley leading to what remained of the back door…A couple, probably in their early twenties were desperately chasing another hit of heroin-it was to be their last. I took three shots through a 50-200mm lens before slipping into the high rd.
Having prepped the Univega prior my departure, I noted a few fresh chips in its somewhat delicate flamboyant red enamel. Mercifully, a quick scout around Superdrug uncovered the perfect touch up stick-yep; nail varnish to the rest of us. Aside from pillar-box or Coca Cola, first-rate retouching of reds, especially those of the metallic persuasion is notoriously difficult. This particular brand dries in sixty seconds but I’ve applied two or three thin coats before allowing them to cure overnight.
On the subject of refinishing, the otherwise tough satin powder coat finish adorning the beefy expedition rack is beginning to tire slightly where panniers and other luggage sit so I’m toying with having it blasted clean and given a colour-coordinated rebirth. The other alternative is a phenomenally resilient industrial treatment known as plasti-coat. Applied in the same fashion as powder its commonly used on wrought ironwork and similar ferrous metals left in the most challenging environments. Given its notorious difficult removal –even with extensive chemical assistance, the faintest trace on threaded sections spells disaster so you’d never apply it to a frameset… Were I to take this route, I’d also ask if they’d mind passing this simple tune up stand through at the same time since the existing paint is firmly in dip n’ hope territory.
In the meantime, Rory at Upgrade has been kind enough to send me a bundle of goodies including Lezyne’s power rack elite-a beautifully executed TIG welded aluminium affair complete with 25 kilo maximum payload, this rather fetching, long handled pedal rod and Microshift Sti brifters. The latter are nine, as opposed to eight-speed, short reach examples heralding the Ultegra bar cons’ retirement and more or less completing the tubby tourer’s road biased, yet trail friendly evolution. Despite sporting an extra click, these index perfectly with eight while rivalling Tiagra in performance stakes. Elsewhere, a garage gremlin appears to have gobbled all my open ended ten millimetre wrenches-the sort perfect for nipping old school cantilever brake pads snug. Thankfully, much rummaging unearthed one of those awful but will- do- in- a- pinch giveaway types.
Product testing forms a major part of my work and these days it’s genuinely rare to find bad ones per se. Sure the odd howler, or rogue model crops up from time to time, sometimes with hilarious consequences. Most recently and falling into the latter camp was this otherwise super cheery house branded waterproof day pannier, ideally suited to quick release, post mounted racks. Swooping through the deserted backwaters with only a gentle breeze, moonlight and furtive scurrying emanating from the hedgerows for company, I was compiling a mental list of priorities when a blood-curdling rip as the pannier’s mounting hardware parted company with the weatherproof fabric tore through my serenity!
A modest cargo consisting of armoured cable lock, tyre levers, patch kit, spare tube, multi tool, pump, Co2 inflator, cable ties and compact camera hardly constitutes overloading but thankfully, the humble plastic ties were up to the job of lashing everything together, allowing me to complete the ride, albeit with one ear attune to further, untimely demise.
Naturally, I reported this to the distributor who are determining whether its an isolated fluke or symptomatic of a sub standard batch. Then came a trio of track pumps, which Joshua helpfully proclaimed looked like detonators, doubtless intensifying neighbourly suspicion. Lest I forget to seat a 700x23 tyre and tube properly, resulting in an ear shattering din otherwise those poor darlings will scatter beneath dining room tables, some hands on heads, others with the home office on speed dial…



















Many cold war installations, thought to be dormant and abandoned were anything but… Further afield, Poland and neighbouring countries are dotted with mysterious ex military bases, which I’
Cantering up to 25mph, we rejoiced in the near empty lanes and chill, spring sunshine. Dyed in the wool traditionalists will justly remark that the S link and comparable half-link brethren are notably heavier than the
Elsewhere it seems there are infidels in the postal service with items taking some considerable time to arrive. Any organisation of this magnitude is likely to attract a small rogue element and the majority of postal workers are as honest as the day is long. However, things are likely to worsen thanks to widespread use of email, fax and courier services and the apparent inevitability of privatisation. Raleigh have sent me a delightful book celebrating the marques 125-year history. Some have said the brand lost out to sexier marketing but their specialist division produced some iconic top-drawer mounts through the 70s, 80’s and 90s.
Only the front
Joshua and I took the opportunity to drop by on Justin Burls and take a sneak peak at those lovely fillet brazed prototype

My own fleet continues to evolve, courtesy the
Now, the latter are built to order from aerospace grade titanium by Atomic 22- a small-scale manufacturer based in
Early impressions are good, although I’
However, it’s no substitute for a decent lock, insurance and similarly sensible precautions since a truly frustrated Neanderthal could wrap your pride and joy around some street furniture…
A happier re-homing came for my faithful Specialized Air Tool track pump; this now resides with my mother and her partner’s bikes. I had a choice of two replacements, including this super sturdy twin barrel
Back in the saddle and there’s been lots to play with. That BBB chain and cassette seem to be wonderful bedfellows with the
We’
The most recent dig in the ribs came courtesy of the Sun Race chain’s unexpected breakage. Thoughtfully (In common with recently documented punctures) it had the good grace to expire at journey’s end, some hundred metres from my front door-not the back of beyond. Much soul searching gave way to opportunity. Time to strip, replace and perhaps reconfigure the tubby tourer’s drivetrain. 
My MTB based crosser cum working bike was initially conceived with Modolo Morphus units that were tuneable for either Shimano or Campagnolo seven/eight speed configurations. Bought as a bundle (bars, levers & wrap) for sixty odd quid, modulation and feel were excellent, although shifts clunky by modern standards even with an LX mech STX crankset and 11-19 straight through block. Brifters have the obvious vulnerabilities in the event of a nasty tumble but since my purebred crosser manages just fine I’m looking forward to introducing a set of suitable Microshift. In common with similar emergent brands, performance and pricing are ear- to- ear grin impressive on a scale reminiscent of Kawasaki and Honda’s impact upon the all but defunct British motorcycle industry back in the mid1970s.
There’s two variants-double and triple and I’m wondering how the left lever will cope with the 42, 32,22 Alivio rings since Microshift recommends 52,42,30. In practice and with a smattering of blind faith I’m hoping some divine influence will look kindly upon this here world-weary journo and a’la Carte drivetrain. Enforced leave from variable gears, coupled with the picture postcard spring weather presented the ideal opportunity for long, steady, reflective outings aboard the Ilpompino. I could pontificate ad pretentious nauseam about the Zen-like qualities of fixed and its ability to lift one into a meditative state but this is all deeply passĂ©’ hipster-speak and there’s been no requirement on my part to appease this particular mindset, whether it be cycling or unrelated politic. ClichĂ©’ might be truth in a processed and deeply over-simplistic form but its an irritant and something to be avoided at all costs.
Inspecting the
At face value, there’s little distinguishing the Sun Race from a glut of similar nickel-plated eight-speed designs-aside from the side-plates. 200kg per foot is pretty much on par with
That said; frugality can be stretched beyond the point of practicality. Yes, cheap washing powder and redundant toothbrushes remove corrosion/tarnish from polished and plated surfaces with consummate ease but other homely remedies are firmly tongue in cheek. Several years ago, I was doing some income recovery/credit control for a classic motorcycle/salvage yard when a man in his late sixties drew up, remarking that his BSA was suffering from an unexplained misfire. Remaining straight faced, I quipped “Flush it through with cold black tea Sir”. After a brief, convivial exchange, he was gone and I attended to a pile of outstanding invoices. Two weeks later he returned, extolling the virtues of said cold tea flush! My jaw dropped and recoiled cartoon fashion-I never for one moment thought he’d be so literal in his interpretation.
That’s all for now folks, I’m off to interview Gary