Twaaang! Aka Way of the Exploding Cable Hanger

Yes indeed, having returned from another head-clearing blast along the back roads, I was gently sweeping my Ilpompino back inside the garage when serenity was rudely interrupted by the faintest sound of binding…

We hadn’t encountered any holes or similar rim worrying phenomenon, so I presumed it was just a sticky inner wire. Pumping the left Tektro lever saw induced a faint tinkling as the tiny little pressed steel cable hanger expired, blowing itself into oblivion and inducing that sudden, monumental loss of cable tension.

Stunned silence was replaced by mild irritation-fettling aside; I’d literally engaged its rear stopper three, maybe four times in the last eight years. Initial thoughts leaned toward buying another Surly “braker” unit (as fitted to my Univega) but since the law only requires fixed builds to run a single, lever operated brake, I decided this presented the ideal opportunity to forgo it completely. Not so the braze-on posts. Some folks love nothing better than taking a hacksaw to their framesets but I like the option of reintroducing stuff should need, or fancy take me. They might also make brilliant blinky mounts...

A quick rummage in the spares drawer resurrected this resin Tektro stoker/dummy lever, some grey primer and my long T handled 5mm Allen key. Despite being well maintained, I was surprised at how arthritic the wide arm cantilever’s stainless mounting screws had become and momentarily envisioned strip-city. Having bypassed this grim narrative with a timely shot of release spray and severed the inner cable, things breezed together pretty smoothly.

Despite being previously repatriated and increasingly weathered, the Spa cycles leather handlebar wrap rewound sans protest and having wiped the bosses clear of residual grease, it was a question of either applying a thin, protective layer of polymer lube or, in this instance a thin coat of grey primer topped off with some of this Sugru “form & fix”.  

For the uninitiated, these are thin sachets of self-setting, flexible rubber that, until cured have a texture broadly similar to play dough/plastercine and can be moulded in much the same way.

Achieving smooth, even effects takes literally forty seconds or so, though seems to require a few hours unmolested to cure fully. Paint protectors are an obvious use, though ours has also been employed as replacements for mudguard (fender) stay caps, resealing electrical cables/dynamo wire etc.

Having double checked lever symmetry, reinstated and sealed the cowhide wrap, taking this opportunity to substitute the fetching but only moderately secure wooden plugs with some tap-in composites On the home straight, reinstating those canti-bolts with some Teflon prep the back door sprung open. It was Joshua who, to my astonishment proceeded to tell me this Dualco unit must be a “vacuum primed” design. 

Upon my affirmation, he then explained the mechanical principles behind them-correctly (!) Somewhat fond of deviating from the stock strip when it comes to degreasers and similar grime busting potions, I’ve just taken delivery of this three-litre dilute to taste concentrate from chemicals direct.

Hmm, familiar orange hue, “safe on all surfaces”, not for human consumption etc, interesting aroma too…I’ve a few sneaking suspicions about its potential hostility towards delicate anodised and indeed, flamboyant wet-spray finishes but let’s see how it behaves in various strengths and contexts before passing judgement. 

Baring All aka “The Baboon”

Here now comes the cautionary tale of becoming overly attached to aging Lycra- you know, those old faithfuls plucked from a shop’s sales bin for £10 or less that have soldiered on stoically for a decade or so. Slowly but surely the buttock region has become progressively thinner, there’s some obvious tell-tale fraying around the insert but otherwise, they’re socially acceptable...

Crashes aside, the humble polyester/elastane mix has few natural enemies and literally recedes by stealth. Thundering along the lanes late one night, headful of ideas turning me every which way but loose, I was suddenly conscious of an unusually ambient air coursing around the buttock region. Far from uncomfortable, this agreeable cooling sensation coincided with traffic gliding past serenely at a greater distance than usual for this locale.

Catching sight of one’s derriere’, the reason for this newfound curiosity became brutally apparent- those fibres had worn perilously thin, leaving little to the imagination. Mercifully, bricklaying gangs had left their lintels earlier; otherwise the procession of hoots, jeers and Dagenham smiles would’ve made matters all the more difficult to ignore. Conversely, I was disappointed not to encounter “Colnago man”; a relatively local rider who refuses to acknowledge others, even by way of a discrete nod. 

While relatively courteous, I’m not the most welcoming of figures and don’t generally appreciate folk cruising alongside uninvited for a chat but wilfully ignoring someone who has bid you good morning/afternoon/evening is pretty ignorant. 

The politics of pleasantries have become increasingly complex too if forums are any barometer. Some folks taking great offence (an affront to their masculinity perhaps) at being overtaken by a faster rider unleashing a cheery “Hello”; Personally, I’m only mildly irked if someone has cut me up, or done so to make a point/for effect. Often I’ll whizz past on the following climbs, or laugh hard as a tandem blows them into those proverbial weeds, showing clean heels n’ chrome plastics. 

More changeable conditions i.e. pelted with hail stones the size of sugar cubes ricocheting from my Ilpompino’s top tube certainly brings waterproof jackets to the fore. However, until recently and with the exception of some eVent models, choice was between three seasons’ training models or the classic “Condom” cape synonymous with late 80’s massed start road racing. Admittedly these offered some protection from biblical stuff but left one feeling decidedly boiled-in the-bag after twenty minutes or so.

Micro types which fold much smaller and whose technical fibres facilitate a reasonably comfortable, hygienic inner climate have become increasingly affordable. Dhb Cosmo is a case in point. Subtle (rather than dull or wall-flowerish) colour schemes, gender specific cuts and rugged, “racing snakes” polyamide fabric has come to my rescue on several recent outings. These have been spent evaluating the durability and cleanliness of several different 

chain preps, not to mention some very fancy material specific cleaners and polishes.

The latter supposedly locks in a blemish-free lustre for several weeks following a single application. So far, so good on titanium/carbon composites, though I’m very curious to discover more of their precise chemical makeup. Better quality polymer based, composite friendly waxes promise similar performance and thus, the coming weeks could present some unexpected findings.     

Now…Can anyone guess the identity of this frameset that’s just arrived at the doors of Maldon Shot Blasting & Powder Coating?

Purple Haze & Teenage Dreams

Having agreed the graphics, title, marketing strategy and other definitive stuff, our collaboration is hurtling ever closer to fruition. Self-belief, realistic deadlines, effective time management and the ability to juggle competing priorities are fundamental to the success of any venture. Rest and play must also be factored into this equation if one is to avoid flying over the cuckoos’ nest or becoming the proverbial dull boy/girl. 

Sunny skies have roused the Teenage dream from its long winter hibernation for some seriously spirited back road fun. Little remains of its original incarnation but while there are firm, sentimental attachments to its 1982 Campagnolo Victory derailleurs, other components held more negative personal connotations, so were easily upgraded and sold on without remorse.

Once a benchmark, Reynolds 531 has long been superseded in competition terms by more exotic blends, though this was largely influenced by modern volume production methods, which favours fusion welding’s speed over fillet brazing-enter 525 and 631. 

However, not all flavours were resounding successes. The thin wall competition variant still delivers considerable grin inducing zing within those formative pedal strokes. Just resist any seat tube reaming or electroplating urges and have a little corrosion inhibiting preserve sloshing around inside-there’s a reason why it’s 27.0, not 27.2!

Once the Teenage Dream’s Regina screw on freewheel rumbles on up to the great bike shop in the sky, I’ll commence wholesale modernisation with this here Sun Race NRX group. Its OEM external cup bottom bracket will be substituted for something stiffer to compensate for the lugged and brazed frameset’s greater lateral flex but this is my only intentional deviation.     

Obviously such updating will necessitate professional resetting of its rear triangle to130mm-Lee Cooper (http://leecoopercycles.webs.com/) has very kindly offered his services and hence, said evolution will hopefully coincide with mid-winter’s wrath.

Deeply intrigued by and attracted to older framesets, component groups, cameras, motorcycles and even some cars, I’m no purist. Those actively living within a romanticised, rose-tinted view of the past will never move forward. I have comparatively contact with anyone I studied at polytechnic with-there are a few carried forward and held dear, obviously. The same applies to others within my previous professional “lives” but from a strictly personal perspective, yesterday is only significant in terms of what we’ve learned from it since.

Conversely there’s memorabilia retained from this era-a Motorola team jersey bought for my eighteenth birthday-something that immediately spirits me to Plaistow and E.G Bates cycles on the Barking Road. (long gone along with any East End connections). 

Raised in a rural parish, I marvelled at West Ham E15- an area characterised by abandoned and often derelict factories, depots and cars in 1992, its grey, grimy patina captured perfectly in Kodak’s Tri-X black n’ white 35mm film. One afternoon in 1994, I snuck past a loose section of corrugated iron and into the rotting hulk of Lesney’s former toy factory having visited a friend at Homerton’s decidedly foreboding RN RU.

Abandoned since 1983, the main track and apparatus were still evident with little evidence of metal theft or mindless vandalism. Extensive redevelopment and gentrification means these areas are almost unrecognisable and therefore unprepossessing.     

I ran an Indian built Enfield Bullet for a short spell towards the decade’s end. Beautiful lines, delightful to polish, sipped petrol but even blessed with upgraded 12 volt electrics and a single front disc brake, contemporary urban traffic conditions proved a test of our resolve, let alone an earlier “genuine” Royal Enfield.

This is entirely different phenomenon from the recent and in my view, very welcome reintroduction of some older concepts-merino jerseys, dyno lighting, internal gears, properly sealed and moderately priced fixed hubs, child/utility trailers to name but a few examples that have been resurrected using modern materials.  

Concrete jungle aside, riding is fertile ground for contemplation. With the benefit of hindsight, there are situations and events and indeed some people I would’ve approached very differently but regrets and “what ifs” are futile.

Good, bad or plain indifferent, these experiences have shaped my identity, world view. Lessons learned form the basis for better decision making and relationships, whether these are business or of a more intimate nature.   

Greases, Gloves & the Perils of Parabens

Been working on a piece about lubricants, which logically led to a paragraph or two’s discussion of de-greasing, health n’ safety and hand washes. Parabens might not be the first thought entering our heads when scooping up some dirt purging gloop but their widespread prevalence in cosmetics, toiletries, personal (read sexual if you must) gels is cause for thought and for me at least concern, afterall, ubiquitous doesn’t necessarily mean harmless.

Used as a preservative/biocide, extending a products shelf-life, there’s an increasingly convincing body of research linking para-hydroxybenzoic acids with cancers, hormonal abnormalities, immune, neurological and reproductive toxicity.  

Indeed, there appears an increased presence of these oestrogen mimicking particles within the tissues of breast cancer patients, nearest the underarm region. Playing Devil’s advocate, it may be (like Aspartame, the somewhat controversial artificial sweetener) that there are safe limits within which such complications do not arise…

Bottom line, I’m in favour of minimising contact with anything potentially carcinogenic, whether used motor-oils, contaminated greases, even the supposedly super clean space-age polymers. Thin, washable gloves seem infinitely preferable to absorbing further, potential toxins through my skin. Elsewhere, those nice folk at Moore Large (www.todayscyclist.co.uk) have sent me a stainless steel KMC Z1 (inox).

Nudging 442g, it’s something of a behemoth but seemingly bombproof and positively serene. Now, stainless seem an obvious candidate for winter bikes and daily drivers but nonetheless, low should never be interpreted as zero maintenance, thus I’ve a hunch the pins might succumb to some red freckling.

Admittedly there’s no substitute for long miles, along wet, salty roads but in their seasonal absence I’m trying a similar experiment, leaving a discarded section marinating in a tub of fresh water laced with table salt and left drying in coastal climes.

Ours remains dressed in the factory drizzle, which appears pretty corrosion repellent but in any case, only a minority of us will be whizzing round on truly parched chains for any period. Not that this should be a problem given my present arsenal has been joined by some store brand “wet weather” and “Teflon based” lubricants passed my way for critical evaluation.

Superficially it’s tempting to say they’re dead ringers for a wealth of similar formulas, which will lead doubting Thomas/Theresa’s suggesting this illustrates the prevalence of badge-engineering. Healthy scepticism is essential but so is keeping an open mind. Two products can look decidedly similar and in some instances comprise of identical ingredients.

However, that’s not to say tracks one and two were putting different labels on the same products-weights and measures can vary, hence why some marques will stay put longer, attract more/less contaminant, or in the bad old days, leave a streaky finish, do nasty things to rubberised components and indeed, beneath our skin.

Elsewhere, in the name of frugality, gracious donation of this elderly but worthy tower means I have a reliable desktop once more and my collaboration continues to gallop towards the tangible entity we’d envisaged but near, yet so far springs to mind.

Several weeks on and those Btwin Automatic (SPDR) homages continue to delight, even on the fixed thanks to a subtle weighting that allows easy location/flipping when trickling along. As expected, their softer aluminium bodies sport more battle scars than premium fare but nothing outlandish and I love the convenience of being able to walk gracefully without ravaging best linoleum. Whisper it but I’m not regretting the Ilpompino’s regression to square tapers either; though a stiffer ring would be welcomed…

Lateral Thinking & A Saunter Through The Spares Bin

Bank holidays are a great opportunity to relax, reflect and therefore be more productive as a consequence. That said; self-employment in any capacity/context requires long hours, forward planning and oodles of self- motivation- I’ve seldom seen bed before 1am these past few months. Presently I’m working on my collaboration and specifically cover designs, which is a different but extremely rewarding challenge with intense flashes of inspiration.

Further investigation revealed the Ilpompino’s GXP cranks and cups had become sitting tenants, though three timely blasts of penetrant spray and gentle persuasion from this ACOR wrench accelerated a tidy eviction.

Obviously closed cup pro grade designs hold the winning cards when it comes to absolute precision, though open type enable loosening of the non-drive side, facilitating release of reticent two-piece Truvativ without recourse to more forceful techniques.

Much to my surprise, several salt strewn winters had infiltrated the chain-ring bolts, leaving their threads unexpectedly brittle. Hence I’ve introduced an understated but worthy sealed square taper bottom bracket and low mileage Stronglight 55 crankset for the short to medium term until such time the latter’s non-detachable ring becomes bin fodder, or I acquire something more glamorous.

110mm long axles might sound another curious choice for fixed gear builds but the chain line’s bang-on, those extra few millimetres breathing space prevents arms fouling cadence sensors and similar electrical gizmos.

Dropping a couple of teeth has lowered the gearing slightly (from 81 to 77.6 inches), lessening joint strain on more intense climbs and improving acceleration without hampering cruising tempo or inducing quasi comedic spin-out during long descents.

Such moments had me thinking about chain life. Derailleur set ups ascend the stairway to heaven between 800 and 1100 miles depending on rider sensitivity, standards of maintenance, lube and riding conditions but things seem considerably less prescriptive with single speeds. Obviously the former variables, not to mention chainline are significant players.

However, theoretically at least (given the additional loading associated with braking, track standing and explosive acceleration) one would reasonably expect this to be level pegging with their variable cousins.

I’ve had a brown 3/32 Sedis expire somewhat fatally nigh on 25 years ago while hurtling along at 42mph, inducing unwelcome mirth and interesting rider antics. Aside from last year’s infamous crush injury, there’s never been a spiteful moment or sense of impending expiry using 1/8^th track fare. 

The Ilpompino's  KMC is starting to shed its purple finish in places and I keep a generous length of links lest disaster strike miles from home but we’re well into three thousand miles. My preference is for half-links since they allow more precise pruning, especially on conversions where tensioning can prove tricky (vertical dropouts being a case in point) and some whisper 10,000 miles plus is readily attainable.

Galvanised coatings according to others are show-stopping must-haves, particularly but while taint resistance is pretty good, those I’ve used have lacked finesse unless fed a wet lube diet and eventually the zinc layer flakes away, leaving links exposed and therefore equally vulnerable to Joe n’ Joanna rot. Perhaps Inox is the answer to these particular prayers…    

Bottom Brackets Are Like Busses...

The Easter bunny bounded into Stenningrad with some deliciously tempting (read rapidly devoured) chocolate eggs, self-extracting crank bolts and a squidgy carton of Muc-off concentrate. For some time, I’ve been reflecting that standard bike wash formulas are a touch insipid, though there’s a fine line between gobbling grime and damaging delicate lacquered, painted/plated surfaces.

250ml diluted with tap/rainwater translates as 1 litre of stock iconic pink cleanser, adding a further 50ml packs a mightier punch, leaving plenty for subsequent refills plus neat gel for tackling congealed gunk typically harboured by rings and cassettes.

The ability to brew bespoke certainly wins brownie points from me but whether Nano tech actually leaves surfaces with a protective, invisible shield remains to be seen. Either way, I’ve reduced marinating times by thirty per cent and rinse thoroughly to avoid any risk of streaking, dulling or indeed, tarnish. Having tamed some pressing deadlines, I turned my attentions to a morning’s reflection, which culminated in a burning desire to upgrade the Ilpompino’s OEM Truvativ GXP external cup bottom bracket system.

Much to my surprise, both have soldiered stoically, not to mention smoothly through sunshine and slush for many thousand miles but my inner fettler told me I had a couple of high end units with super durable ceramic bearings, holidaying somewhere within my low-rise arrangement of Perspex storage boxes…

Nimble focused fingers found two- a superlight composite and an infinitely more enticing titanium model. Now, I’ve never had cause to touch a GXP unit bar occasional tightening of the left 8mm securing bolt, though received wisdom suggests these require some form of conversion kit to play nicely with anyone else’s assembly…

Could be incredibly straightforward or hassle laden, so I may investigate other, uber stiff external cup alternatives, or even the humble sealed square taper…Whatever route I assume, rest assured, it’ll involve lashings of high quality synthetic grease during installation. Interestingly enough, the latest generation of On-One’s Ilpompino is now a frameset only package, offered in a rather fetching grey… 

Another whoop coincided with the resurrection of these second skin close, Specialized BG pro mitts ready for those long spring evening saunters. Joshua insisted he must have my lowlier BG sport for his own use-well, refusal would've been churlish!

While extremely positive, my present collaboration is requiring considerable focus, an intensity mirroring that of my penultimate months as an A level student and undergraduate. Thankfully this time round, breaking tasks down to their component parts and tackling accordingly ensures pressure remains a positive, driving rather than destructive, angst laden force.

Talking of which, Zyro www.zyro.co.uk sent me the aluminium alloy version of their Tortec Epic carrier saving a few quid and 200g on its inox stable mate, while still enjoying a five year warrantee (against defects/workmanship, not abuse!) and thirty kilo maximum payload.

This by the way, is pretty close to that of low-slung mono-wheel touring trailers while retaining manoeuvrability in tight spaces/congested traffic. Urban myth suggests that steels can be “blasted together with heat by roadside Yodas. Such sweeping statements are usually touted by those with little; or no comprehension of metallurgy.

Experience suggests that fatigue induced failures are very infrequent but refraining from leaning one’s steed down on its luggage is one simple practice that will give aluminium alloy models the best possible chance of retiring at a good age. Effective repairs of any carrier is highly dependent upon the metals alloyed, thus “stainless” is a much trickier customer than mild steel.

To date, I’ve only ever had one rack “pop” and while welding of heat treated non-ferrous stuff is a non-starter, often broken joints can be pinned back together with an assortment of nuts n’ bolts until such time you can reach civilisation and acquire  suitable replacement.                  

Bearing Up

It was only a matter of time before the Univega’s UN52 finally succumbed to slop. Mercifully its swansong commenced at the close of a fifty mile saunter, some sixty metres from Stenningrad.

Largely superseded by external cup designs, 8,000 miles plus isn’t outlandish from these venerable square tapers so long as jet-washing and similarly destructive habits are avoided. 

However, as component designs evolve, or indeed fall from vogue; supplies of older mid-range stuff often dwindle, leaving the market polarised between bargain basement and top drawer.     

Within two minutes of powering up the laptop and entering “68x113 square taper” into Google’s search bar, we’d scored a brand new, unboxed UN55 for the princely sum of £12.50 including postage! I’d been fishing for an XT grade UN72 but these have become rarer than hens’ teeth and I didn’t fancy playing the ebay lottery.

Without taking a grinder to their shells, aluminium alloy cups and hollow axles separate the 50s, saving a few grams without sacrificing strength; though avoid lithium based greases when speeding them inside ferrous frames, or risk the joy of seizures many miles hence.

Less than 48 hours after adding to cart, transplant surgery proved very straightforward given the existing unit was introduced with lashings of stout ceramic prep, complimented by copious quantities of home brewed corrosion inhibitor. Curiously enough, the UN55 has also reduced the Q-factor slightly but this is pretty academic on a tubby tourer. Now for some self-extracting M8 crank bolts methinks…