Stuff ‘em in your Sack

The arrival of these understated Louis Garneau Lathi gloves prompted me to reflect on the contrasting approaches of two riders when it came to condition specific illumination. I’m not calling for legislation compelling us to don day-glow and engage lights during daylight hours since this serves to perpetuate perceptions that cycling and the great outdoors are hazardous by default. Compelling motorcyclists in Scandinavian countries to do just this had a very short-lived effect before they once again became "invisible" to swathes of much larger traffic. Proponents of these and similarly ridiculous measures are myopic to the fact most cyclists are also car owners/drivers, sometimes motorcyclists and truckers too!
The rider pictured blazing a trail through the 4pm December murk couldn’t be more conspicuous (In fact, temptation urged me to draw alongside and ask what systems he was using but didn’t, since in his cleats I’d construe such behaviour as driver harassment). Driving back from assorted quick stop-offs during the sleepy corridor that leads us to the New Year; I was horrified to encounter an arguably more seasoned Cannondale rider with literally zero illumination. Any of us can (and probably have) been caught out by a snagged dynamo wire, expiring lead-acid battery or similar act of god but to find him bereft of even the thinnest slither of Scotchlite, let alone contingency blinkies at half-past dusk stops short of reckless. Most micro LEDs are visible from around two hundred and fifty yards, often more but driving at 40mph in 60mph zone and with unhampered vision, I only noticed him at forty yards. What if my approach had been more cavalier or my reactions/senses hampered in some way?

Cyclists and similarly “minority” traffic take disproportionate “stick” from various lobby groups as it is and the majority of us keep our houses very much in order but these incidents are precisely what gives credence to buck passing us n’ them pressure groups’ cries for greater anti cyclist legislation. Unfortunately too many careless, uninsured and sometimes unlicensed/inebriated vehicle operatives walk away from court with a few casual nods of remorse to the judge. The mighty little blinky cost next to nothing, doesn’t detract from the sleekest steed and may be the difference between a warm soak in the tub with the rides’ highs lows swooping through your consciousness or a cold, clinical mortuary slab. Stuff ‘em in your sack.

Happy New Year!

Fifteen Days Later...

The past ten days could've been plucked straight from a George A Romero zombie flick as endless precession of automatic SUVs converged on out of town supermarkets, stocking up for the seasonal famine. Reasoning retail giants were closing indefinitely, armies of the undead lined the aisles, oft sporting iPods and shunting wire baskets along the floor with the Instep of their UGG boots. Flailing arms scattered goods from the shelves to monotonous, piped seasonal in-store music as generations of these poor creatures converged upon the checkouts . Undeterred, I nimbly dodged the malaise, snatching vital supplies of instant coffee to stimulate body and soul. Three precious jars scanned at the automatic teller, I shovelled coins into the slot before fleeing through the automatic doors.

Having made good my escape in the little Ka, this Alpinestars Cro-Mega complete with elevated chainstays and curved seat-tube awaited me at Maldon Shotblasting & Powder Coating. An interesting concept now consigned to the archives, it was thought to overcome the ruinous spectres of chain-slap/suck while a curved seat-tube shortened the wheelbase for gazelle-like climbing prowess.

Underneath its weary lick-and-a-promise grey enamel, the Tange tubeset was remarkably well preserved. A small dent in the top-tube was filled using a combination of weld and Thermabond3 to ensure a really flattering effect but obviously demanded a second trip through the blast cabinet to remove any subsequent imperrfections capable of tainting the fetching orange top coat. Its straight blade Cro-Moly forks were finished in satin black for a classy, timeless contrast. I recall lusting after these and similar concepts of this era while a callow A-level student but as with the Kirk magnesium framesets, wouldn’t pay anything approaching classic or collector prices now. The song remains the same when it comes to several other marques. I’d like a Barry Hoban road frameset from the mid to late 1980s. For the uninitiated Hoban was a Welsh star from the 1960s who later married Tom Simpson’s widow and launched a series of frames bearing his name. To my knowledge these were built from 531Cs tubing at the Falcon factory, who by then had assimilated many top brands including Coventry Eagle, Holdsworth and Claud Butler. British Eagle’s Touristique-a rival to Dawes’ seminal mile munching Galaxy from the same era would be another welcome addition to my fleet. Sadly, the brand is now little more than a decal on sub £100 gas-pipe rubbish.

I managed a decent twenty-five mile daily circuit up until December 25th when contamination struck…Not the retail plague but a severe case of sabre tooth man-flu while tweaking the Univega’s cockpit! The eagle-eyed amongst you will notice the rather striking (and frankly fantastic) two-tone Lizard Skins DSP wrap has been replaced in favour of this Arundel Gecko grip.With a super sticky polymer base and EVA foam backing, this works to the same principle but lacked the DSP's outright refinement, making achieving those graceful, flowing overlaps that little bit more time consuming (forty-five minutes) but the final effect was worth the wait… Time will tell as to their performance, not least since I’ve been refraining from further outings until this particularly serious lurgi has been banished with a regime of red bush tea. The gecko is also available in blue, red, white and yellow if black offends your sensibilities. Knog is something of a not-so guilty secret of mine. From a personal and design perspective, I really love the brand and am sufficiently assured of my own masculinity to parade my fuchsia test samples pride of place on those WTB drops! However, objectively and as a journalist, I accept said charm sometimes exceeds their technical merit and function. This, fine coffee and steadily alternating between test/copy deadlines has thus far fended off the seasonal slump. Those other projects touched upon in my earlier entry have also shown some early signs of fruition so while the somewhat raucous, rowdy interlopers to this here domicile recount strange (albeit highly amusing) drunken tales from the lounge, I’ve been making pressure-free progress from the study, nipping out for periodic socialising, soaps, coffee, mince pies, trifle and more nutritious fuel for body n’ soul to suit. Such is my love of coffee and decay that I’ve even been gifted some of this body wash as part of my Christmas bundle!

Out Of The Darkness And Into The Studio?...

We’ve now officially entered winter here in the UK (Canadian, Scandinavian and Eastern European audiences may now snigger freely). Up until recently it’s been unseasonably mild, the narrow winding lanes characterised by a glistening, greasy film of water channelled from the fields interwoven with layers of equine and bovine dung. Sticky under tread during the milder weather, this becomes a veritable skidpan when the mercury dips below zero-even 28mm section commuting rubber starts dancing the Samba. This largely explains why I’ve hardly moved from the Univega in several weeks- that and the fact I’ve been busily testing some dual-purpose on/off road kit.

The most exciting being Magicshine’s MJ816E- a retina ruinous front light capable of a whopping eighteen hundred lumens at full power, yet returning a consistent 105minutes from each three and a half hour mains fuel-up. Even allowing for the technological trickle-down, £135 for a system this powerful is remarkable. More surprising are the diminutive dimensions of both head unit and seat-post mounted battery (although if you were feeling flush and yearned for eight-hour playtimes, there’s always the option of a 17.4Ah bottle type). In real terms, there’s sufficient presence in flood setting for navigating rural backwaters at around 30mph, warning of ruts, holes and of course, excrement from around three hundred and fifty yards. Not impressed? Well, oncoming 4x4s dipped their beams from about four hundred yards and with all guns blazing; forest trails were easily tackled at 23mph.

Toggling between modes is child’s play courtesy of the clever handlebar mounted switch featuring an integral colour coordinated indicator, which automatically kicks down to conserve battery life- meaning you’ll always stand a sporting chance of getting home safely. However, careful positioning of the lamp is essential to prevent dazzling and potentially more serious injury to rabbits and other small mammals. The same rule follows through the suburbs and round town, dropping to the sidelights gives plenty of presence to at least 350 yards without being lost among the festive illuminations or causing undue distress to oncoming vehicles and pedestrians. Bonita (Sales@magicshineuk.co.uk) kindly supplied our sample but those of you living in a different corner of our globe might like to wander round to http://www.magicshine.com/ for a dealer closer to home. Winter also brings wet, smelly feet. Not everyone likes overshoes or indeed the bootie type road/mtb footwear. To address this particular affliction and therefore, potential social isolation, Stuffits have dropped their shoe-dryers on my doorstep. Basically,these foot-shaped inserts sit in the shoes overnight whereby the aromatic red cedar filling and dual wicking fabric outer suck the moisture out. This extends to the half a pint of sweat (probably more under strenuous riding) emanated by our tootsies, thus keeping odour at bay. Available in a choice of pink, red or black and in men and women specific sizes, early impressions seem favourable, supping away most of the moisture assumed in ninety minutes’ soggy riding in seven hours but I’ll add some more provocative elements to the mix before drawing final conclusions. If you can’t wait until then they’ll command a very reasonable £24.95.

Slipping into a seasonal lull isn’t an option for me and a lot of fellow freelancers seem sympathetic to this philosophy. Continued momentum and avoidance of creative paralysis induced by too much introspection is crucial. This might involve features planning and similarly familiar territory or something more grandiose. My late father wrote several books and without leaving myself open to overtly simplistic “A” level Freudian theory, I’d like to follow in his size nines. Potential collaborators have been only too keen to rally enthusiasm but to date haven’t delivered anything tangible so it may be a question of blazing the trail myself.
The other avenue I’m (cautiously) keen to pursue in an artistic/semi commercial context is fine art/model photography…Traditionally this has proved a minefield thanks to the falling prices of high quality camera equipment attracting the unfavourable “Guy With Camera” who has no other objective than to letch at women for his own personal and deeply sordid gratification. Stories concerning this particularly unsavoury genre of male are legend-the most poignant example being of a model looking to expand her fashion portfolio. Having answered an advert, she arrived at the address (A dingy back street flat) to discover she was expected to assume a wealth of “Glamour” poses (Despite expressing in no uncertain terms she was only prepared to do fully clothed catalogue assignments). When she refused to pose on all fours wearing nothing but a G-string, GWC showed his true, vile colours but thankfully she managed to make good her escape-unharmed.
Unfortunately, semi/professionals with proper credentials, location and a female chaperone to avoid compromised integrity are all too often tarred with this ruinously mucky brush. Running said risk, I would be interested in working with aspiring models on an images-for-portfolio basis in a UK studio setting. Models will need to verify they’re at least twenty-one years old (driving licence, passport or similar photo ID), bring a chaperone of their own and be prepared to sign a model release/consent form before shooting commences. Want to know more? Feel free to drop me an email: Roadpathtoenlightenment@gmail.com

Cometh December, Cometh The Dayglow

Drifting through to December brings with it the joys of day-glow. Prime examples to land at my door are these Proviz gloves and Altura night vision socks. At a whisker below £25, the former boast a windproof and water repellent laminated polyester exterior and micro fibre palm proliferated with silicone dots for a superlative, all conditions grip. The ubiquitous gel/foam ulnar padding is relatively low density, which works better for me, since the pronounced types are prone to inducing precisely the discomfort they were intended to alleviate. Thinner, wind blocking fabric makes for nimble fingers, enabling photo opportunities and less glamorous roadside puncture purges without necessitating removal. Speaking of which, they’ll resist heavy rain to the tune of thirty, maybe forty minutes-depending on how we’re defining cloudburst but mercifully, things stay toasty inside and there’s no danger of extracting a limp, soggy liner come the ed of an inclement training run. For the feet, Altura have taken their night vision concept to the logical, if slightly quirky conclusion. Available in warm orange (my preference) or the acid trip neon yellow, they’re made of common or garden Coolmax and do most things very well, albeit not on the same terms as Merino wool. However, the safety aspect works best with 3/4lengths which might not be everyone’s first choice in the depths of winter-although again, this is highly dependant on where you are in the world…
Those two frames have emerged from the curing ovens with new red and blue liveries. I’m still none the wiser as to their heritage but the suspected Holdsworth was badly nibbled, especially along the chain and seat stays, disguised by a thicker coat of powder since the customer was reluctant to foot the bill for more extensive filler-based preparation. Graham noticed some imperfections in the final colour coat induced by the seepage of residual oils languishing within the tubes. Fearing another trip through the blast cabinet would induce structural damage (even left softening in the stripping tank overnight) he addressed this by rubbing flat and introducing further, light coats, passing through the oven once more. John Doe’s chrome plate rear triangle and forks were of the lick and promise variety, vanishing with the introduction of gentle aluminium oxide particles. This was a moot point since the customer wasn’t looking to replicate the original effect and the parent metal gives a much better key for the colour coats.

A quick look around their holding bay gives an insight into the country’s wider mood. More and more people are having basic children’s frames refinished and passed to younger siblings. This is indicative of a very different mood that has replaced the buy new ethos for may working families frightened for their futures, economic and otherwise.

Elsewhere, I’ve been revisiting my series of children’s stories penned some years ago and aside from strengthening the characterisation, I’m hoping to generate sufficient publisher interest. Having seen my late father successfully publish several academic titles during the 1980s I am acutely aware of publisher resistance to “unproven” or previously unpublished authors but this is just a phenomenon I will have accept and ultimately overcome.

Getting Some (Carbon) Fibre in Your Diet

It seems you can’t move for the once precious composite these days, although in stark contrast, budget/unbranded ‘cross forks have become rarer than the proverbial rocking horse dropping. Imagine my joy having uncovered this ITM Visa. Languishing in storage for a few years, some telltale tarnish was evident around the bosses but easily purged with a gentle tickling from the wire brush so they’ll be adorning the Ilpompino come the first available opportunity. Detailing is generally to a better standard than the OEM type, especially the polished alloy ends, although I’ve no doubt these emerged from the same factory in the far east simply dressed in different decals. Transplant surgery will be performed by Riverside Cycle Centre come the New Year since I have more pressing matters at hand and he has the full compliment of headset tools… Elsewhere on the carbon front comes Blackburn Airstik SL. Weighing a ridiculously svelte 57g (including bracket), it sports the marques legendary build quality and lifetime warranty, so the perfect stocking filler for bikes/riders on calorie controlled diets that puncture infrequently. Blackburn claim 160psi is possible and I quite believe them, although I collapsed in a heap after 120psi and five minutes sustained, rhythmic effort. Speaking of which, rain, sleet and snow present all manner of hazards, not least greatly impaired visibility and this is true whether you wear prescription or standard, polycarbonate three-lens systems. The old lick of washing up liquid around the rims of goggles, glasses and visors is a great homely remedy that goes a long way to curing annoying and potentially dangerous fogging but this high tech Sal Clear TTX hydrophobic spray leaves behind a glossy, water repellent barrier that sees rain-water, mud and spray slide from prescription lenses, generic sports eye wear and even camera lenses. Since it works on gravity, not speed utility riders have as much to gain from its’ properties as first category road racers. Safe on polycarbonates and similar plastics, it’ll buff a helmet to a water repellent, showroom shine in a matter of minutes and works a treat on mirrors and humble bar mounted computers too. Longevity is in piece of string territory since it will depend where you and your bike live and a host of similar environmental factors but I’m still cruising around on the first application-three weeks and three hundred or so miles on

Meanwhile, back in the spray shop, Maldon Shot blasting & Powder Coating have had a procession of interesting frames through the door recently, most notably a classic Raleigh steel chassis and this contemporary Specialized fixer-both undergoing a satin black rebirth.Every so often a beater catches my imagination and this sorry looking John Doe with tarnished electroplate rear triangle is a prime example. There’s no obvious clue as to its heritage and the forks may/not be original…Destined to be reborn in 5012 “Ninja” Blue, I suspect the existing electroplate will be stripped to the parent steel and painted accordingly…

Arguably of better pedigree and possibly hailing from the late 1950s is this battle weary red frameset. I’m not sure since surface corrosion around the bottom bracket shell obscures any numbers but it could even be a Holdsworth of similar vintage to my Zephyr …Watch this space.

The Big Squeeze

Well, if you weren’t hunting down a quick discourse on compression/less housings and their significance in bicycle control cables then chances are you’re a first year economics undergraduate seeking some inspiration or possibly salacious carnal misinformation. Let’s be clear, I have nothing whatsoever against higher education or indeed the seemingly unlimited powers of the Internet, which has revolutionised the way in which we communicate, research and approach life. However, before I examine a bevy of beautiful blinkeys (not to mention more potent see-by systems) in greater detail these Jagwire Hyper brake cables induced a sudden, slightly surreal flashback to 1993. Low compression improves modulation and feel by a good notch or two. However, brakes require some degree of compression at the cable for proper function. This is not the case with derailleurs, so you can appreciate the dangers of mixing and matching them. Recovered from his strange delusion that stripping Cro-moly framesets of paint would save weight without detrimental effect upon corrosion resistance-especially in a cross-country mountain biking context, a friendly acquaintance at Polytechnic justly decided wholesale cable replenishment was in order due to weathered, kinked housings and frayed ends having a pronounced and unwelcome effect upon braking and shifting. With that all too precious grant cheque a couple of weeks over yonder, imagine his excitement having acquired several metres of outers and a bundle of inner wires…gratis.

Owning a decent set of wire snips, it wasn’t long before he beat a path to my front door asking me to cut inners and outers at strategic points. Nothing particularly significant there, nor the intermittent discussion around component choices, build projects and other incidental gossip common to those afternoons. Job done and cud chewed he shot off home to perform the operation, only to discover a distinct lack of feel from the lever upon engaging the brakes at a busy junction…
As the clocks chime the onset of winter, it is timely that I should receive a bountiful supply of lights for testing. Rest assured, I didn’t hit the lanes all guns blazing, ensemble on full beam (Although one poor soul thought he was entering the Twilight zone... Just breathe into this bag for me sir...) These here Genetic road bars boast lights for most tastes and purposes. Suffice to say I’ve been suitably impressed relative to their design brief, from cutesy Knog Boomer rechargeables with their 50 lumen outputs to the super-commuter types from Cat-Eye and Lezyne belting out a whopping 200 and 450 respectively in exchange for £100 and a full USB fuel-up.
Time was when this sort of technology commanded several hundred pounds and required hefty bottle/frame mounted battery packs. Run times between charges are middling, although three to five or so hours is quite feasible if you were prepared to toggle to a lower setting (My preference, at least with the Lezyne would be to procure a second, fully charged battery in my jersey pocket and swap over for extended playtimes). With great power comes great responsibility…don’t mount either of these to helmets-on their highest settings at least since you will blind oncoming drivers. Some might, in your minds-eye deserve this sort of rebuke courtesy of a pronounced inability to dip beams or otherwise display anything resembling road-craft. This latter construct isn’t concerned with passing the basic test(s) for the vehicles you operate but the ability to use them with care, skill and consideration for others.
I have seen too many drunk, incompetent, careless drivers who kill with seemingly casual indifference go about their lives without prosecution or consequence. Now, I understand the legal rationale and concepts of public interest but it seems to me that a driver who ploughs into a cyclist, phones a friend to come and collect her, leaving the rider to die in agony and without reporting the accident to the police was treated with phenomenal leniency on the grounds she was pregnant. I accept the judges’ reasoning that the unborn child was an innocent in all this and therefore, didn’t deserve to be born into a prison environment but still feel such casual indifference needs to be tackled on a collective level and with very stiff penalties for those who treat others with such blatant contempt. Sadly, if government plans to make the MOT inspection bi annual reach fruition, the death rate is likely to rise quite dramatically when un-roadworthy vehicles and drivers come into the equation…
Polaris has introduced a hi-viz collection dubbed RBS (Really Bright Stuff) to their range of high quality attire. I’ve been playing with this incarnation of their classic Hoolie glove and am suitably impressed. Not by the retina ruinous road-worker yellow and black livery so much, although this is a godsend on really gloomy November days but because of superior gel padding designed to protect the vulnerable Ulnar nerve from tingling and more serious carpel tunnel injury.

Deceptively flat, the gel offers commendable comfort over long distances and variable terrain, while the wind and water resistant polyester/nylon shell offers excellent protection from the elements without feeling bulky or remote at the controls. That said, dexterity’s not quite up to addressing punctures or similar roadside mechanicals and some suggested Scotchlite detailing should extend along the finger tips but frankly, in practice this has been a moot point with my hand signals perfectly visible to the majority of traffic.

Friends Reunited

No, not the infamous and now defunct social networking site, I am of course referring to the return of Izzie, my beloved Ilpompino. Basically a cyclo-cross bike with track ends and plentiful braze-ons, it has a geared sibling known as the Kaffenback; which differed only in terms of livery and frame-ends. Some will sneer and mutter TIG welded, Taiwanese 4130 in house tubing. However, folk forget that several decades of outsourcing to the Far East has given rise to a new manufacturing order and one that isn’t likely to be reversed in our lifetime. Johnny and Joanna come lately wannabe artisans have yet to grasp what skilled craftsmen and women have long known; that there will always be demand for bespoke steel framesets and frame repair but businesses do not survive on romanticism alone.

While it’s true that steel is relatively easy to repair and refinish, contrary to clubroom oracles, many builders will not retrofit fixed ends to fusion-welded chassis due to the extensive prep time. Silver soldered and brazed types can simply heated until the donor metals soften and the ends removed. Fusion welded joints demands more involved and time-consuming surgery…
Izzie sports some owner specific quirks including these dual sided (SPD/Look) spinning pedals. These emerged from storage with a few tiny spots of corrosion on the nickel-plating but nothing that won’t vanish with a few rides. Similarly, the Brooks leather wrap absorbs road shock and has a timeless quality but requires periodic feeding to retain its supple lustre. Arguably the quirkiest of features is this Selle SMP droop snoot saddle, which delivers armchair comfort to those sensitive areas without compromising pedalling efficiency. There’s sufficient clearance for 700x38 sans guards so I could whip studded snow tyres aboard should we experience another adverse winter. Speaking of tyres, these Freedom Urban thick slicks arrived on my doorstep this week and early impressions are favourable. 25mm wide, they slip aboard the rims without tools or blood oozing from the cuticles and run at a relatively modest 110psi. Don’t be rueful of the unfamiliar name, they’re made by WTB and reckoned to be the most dependable of the genre characterised by ultra thick casings and a puncture preventative belt.With both wheels removed, it seemed the ideal opportunity to purge the hub cones and surrounding areas of congealed gloop that’s drawn to wet-lubes courtesy of Purple Harry’s bike floss. Made here in Blighty, these pipe cleaners on steroids get right into those intricate areas other brushes cannot reach. That said; they collect and can redistribute filth so inspect and replace regularly while taking care around paintwork. There’s a softer, carbon specific sibling and bigger brands are getting in on the act too… Watch this space and the Univega’s cassette cluster as winter creeps that little bit closer.
Contrary to my wet lube rule, I’ve cleaned Izzie’s Miche chain and treated it to some super dependable Squirt dry lube. Devoid of nasty petrochemicals and solvent carriers, it’s closer in consistency to an emulsion than the traditional Wax types.
Start by running the chain through the solvent bath and drying with a clean rag. Give the squirt a brief shake before drizzling it on. Common to ceramic types, it initially requires two coats, leaving five minutes in between. Don’t panic if you’ve gone a little OTT, since the excess will congeal and flake off as you ride. The first ninety-odd derailleur miles suggest it’s the most stubborn of the dry types and should be hardy enough for single-speed/fixer set ups too. Rumour suggests its quite good on control cables too… Decided to treat the Univega to a new set of Jockey wheels, these from Hawk racing to be precise. Made from 7075 series aluminium and boasting stainless steel bearings (as removed from the seemingly mandatory ceramic type) they seem to work rather nicely with the tubby tourer’s slightly quirky eight-speed configuration.

Fitting is simply a question of splitting the chain and removing the existing OEM models from the mech-keep the retaining bolts since being aftermarket, the Hawk don’t come with any. While you’re at it, put a slither of grease on the threaded sections and slot the hawk into position with the lazer etched detailing facing the hub side. Snug everything down, reinstate the chain, checking everything clicks up and down smoothly and you’re ready for the road. They’ve certainly brought the otherwise dependable shifting along several notches with a really swift, dependable change under load. Seeing as you can buy a replacement Deore Lx for around £50, these are arguably most cost efficient on the Dura Ace and Sram forces of this world.



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