Stems n' Scorched Grass

Sometimes it seems, doing less actually achieves more and I’ve had a few days recently where fruit has materialised with little; or no tree shaking on my part. 

More detailed measurement/calculations confirmed the Salsa stem would’ve been fractionally too long n’ low for comfort-hence attempting transplant surgery would’ve been a frustrating fools’ mission. Salvation materialised in the guise of this 35degree, 70mm long 6061 One23 unit. Standards of finish and machining seem pretty good throughout and four bolt face designs offer a vice like grip, although it’s imperative that all fasteners are tightened to identical tolerances to prevent bars succumbing to potential stress fracture over time.

Wider bars offer excellent control on or indeed sans asphalt and increased leverage should prove a boon when hauling trailers along wintery roads, enhanced further by a more upright stance. On the flip side, this will mute traffic jamming prowess but hardly a concern since said four seasons’ workhorse earns its keep on open roads, rural backwaters and green lanes.

I had toyed with the idea of passing these 25.4 On-One Midge and corresponding stem on via ebay but decided they’d prove handy revisions for my cross inspired mtb hybrid. This might also present a few challenges shifter wise.

Top mounting seems like a good idea, yet demands splaying the clamp to accommodate road bars larger overall (not just bulge) diameter and precludes shifting when hunkered low on the drops; hence I will opt for mounting another STX 8spd pod inboard of the end. Shorter cable runs are also conduits for crisp, snappy changes. An 11-19 straight through block sounds an odd choice too but adequate (when paired to a 32 tooth ring) for tackling moderate woodland/green lanes to around 17mph without spinning out on the road.

Joshua has been testing boundaries in a positive sense, expressing renewed interest in longer road outings with yours truly-something I’m obviously keen to encourage. Rides of this duration are best tackled on his 14/24 mountain bike, shod with slick, or higher end dual purpose rubber-a machine he’s fought shy of thus far and should fit him nicely by now.

Talking of gearing, resistance seems attributable to derailleurs-while competent with the Frog 62’s 7 speed revoshift, he’s never completely embraced them and a triple served only to accentuate this. Maybe this wanderlust will nurture acceptance by stealth…

Now, pretty much all bike washes/degreasers are touted as being biodegradable, bunny loving etc. these days. However, I recall mechanics saying some eat seals in their parts washers and despite liberal rinsing with garden hose, a very effective, highly tuneable concentrate that really impressed me recently hasn’t shown my lawn much compassion. Thankfully frame and component finishes remain in rude health but illustrates why standing times shouldn’t be exceeded.

Elsewhere, invitation to an Indian wedding in the midlands presented ideal opportunity to extend my photographic horizons-I’ve been particularly keen to find a foothold and built positive repute within this genre for several years now.

Everyone is a wedding photographer these days; some are extremely capable, imaginative professionals, others anything but. Look through any trade journal/website and you’ll find copious lament about “weekend warriors” damaging the trade’s repute and there’s much to agree with.

Urban myth suggests photographic skill only existed in the days of darkrooms. The advent of digital removed any skill-point, shoot and hey presto (and acquiring a mortgage means owning a house outright!!!). Counter argument suggests knowing one’s market, carving a niche and leaving others to theirs. Street corners are littered with folks offering to perform oil changes for a fiver, of course they’ll have public liability cover and decades of workshop experience under their belts should something go wrong…

Muzzies, Mods & Movies...

I was meandering through Flickr the other evening when I happened upon a very fetching blue steel Marin Pine Mountain complete with moustache bars. Voluptuous; though not to extremes, its On-One Mungo stirred a yearning to revise the Univega’s cockpit. Generally endeared to the existing WTB/Salsa configuration that offers commendable rigidity and control in most contexts, said swooping revision might reduce fatigue on longer runs.

Cursory inspection suggests they may also demand a loftier, stubbier stem (35 or 40mm) and longer cables, since controls sit further forward. Hence, contact point popped in one’s virtual basket, I went foraging for a 35 degree 60cm version of their 3D stem but to no avail. Still, something’s bound to materialise when I’m least expecting it-watched inboxes and all that…    

While working on a winter-prep piece for a new, soon to launch publication, the Teenage 

Dream’s rear Miche dual pivot calliper developed an unexplained, intermittent binding habit. Short, liberal blasts of maintenance spray to the springs and inner housings failed to exorcise this demon, hence cable replacement and Sugru detailing, which has silenced irksome bottle chatter/tenure, especially across inclement surfaces. Incompetent, negligent people are one of my greatest bugbears, not least when they’re operating one ton plus of steel.

At approximately 11am on Tuesday (15^th July), I was negotiating a series of tight bends on the return leg of an hours’ blast when a cobalt blue Audi (BF12 XCV) swept past with inches to spare before wantonly swerving into our path. Water off the proverbial duck’s back in many respects but still decidedly unsettling. I am also fairly certain he was trying to provoke a response and that there was “just cause” for this behaviour- been laid off/ passed over for promotion/lost a bet/partner said “no”.

Two riders travelling in the opposite direction confirmed he appeared to point the vehicle squarely at them. Being wary of falling into the pop psychology trap, anecdotally it appears an increasing minority of drivers just seem to have psychotic tendencies and can largely behave as they please since road traffic legislation is extremely lenient and the authorities reticent to act. (“He was asking for it your honour, dressed in those tricolour (blue/white/black) bib shorts”)

Studies undertaken by the motor/cycling press some twenty odd years previously suggest there is something in the psyche of some drivers that regards “enthusiast” riders a challenge to be duelled with- put in their place perhaps?

You Tube hosts countless encounters and I can fully appreciate why. Well timed-explosive yells are an excellent release of tension, though red rag and bull spring to mind when some wronged riders advise said behaviour is being filmed and shortly uploaded to said medium. I miss not having a decent helmet camera-not for policing others behaviours but capturing rides in their full glory.

My last purchase was decidedly disappointing, not in terms of image but rather, build quality and manufacturer indifference. Essentially, I should’ve spent more, rather than invest in a discontinued line. Go Pro’s Hero is very much a benchmark and with good reason, though Garmin Virb Elite looks capable of delivering comparable performance for a few dollars less. Impulse buying is something I strive to avoid, although am apparently unable to resist silicone blinkies.

Bought these three from a Chinese supplier for £1.25 each, only to discover faulty switches-powering down necessitates battery removal. Thankfully, this new range of commuter lights from a well-known distributor based in derby has just arrived. Now to find an illustrator for my children’s stories and some models for another project…  

    

Hot Air

Perhaps I’m in a minority but despite having preferential telephone listings that theoretically prevents invasive cold-call telesales; I am pretty much guaranteed to experience cognitive interruptus while someone reading from a script and on commission-only contract unleashes their sales patter- double glazing, loft insulation, kitchen scrappage (or whatever laxative scheme the present administration can inject into a merely flatulent UK economy).

Thrust from academia back in the mid-1990s into a landscape of immediate starts and media sales, it seems eerily familiar two decades on. Having been one of those battery-grads cruising through a printed call-list, supervisor over one’s shoulder checking to ensure everyone is rigidly conforming to company schpeel; I’m generally compassionate in my decline.

Hard sell artists on the other hand engage my subversive streak, especially as I’ve since discovered there’s a commonly used database linking my landline with an unrelated property several miles away. Often I have sent cocky sales monkeys on fool’s missions in the hope a seamless procession of unwelcome vans bearing solar panels, “installation engineers” and “surveyors” descending on their doorstep might see the penny drop.

Inner tubes tend to be forgotten until we’re assaulted by a heavily patched butyl octopus when sweeping into the garage, or serenaded with the dreaded hiss miles from civilisation, only to discover spares didn’t come along for the ride.  It’s amazing how many will spend good money on a top-flight wheelset for whatever purpose, yet bung in the cheapest, wafer thin, poorly moulded fare with excruciatingly vulnerable valve stems.

Twenty eight years back, Latex tubes were revered by time trialists/road racers (who weren’t necessarily die hard tubular devotees) on account of their low weight and rolling resistance when paired with the best clinchers. Abrasion and therefore, puncture resistance was another feature manufacturers were quick to promote in the era’s cycling press. Not without merit either; since the material tolerates considerable deformity and it’s precisely this fluidity that resists pinch and penetration flatting.

However, since Latex is porous, received wisdom suggested daily (rather than weekly) inflation with narrower, high pressure tyres experiencing greatest losses of pressure. Specialist sealants lining their interior walls supposedly counteract this without blunting performance advantages but then of course, said material has no blocking property so degrades really quickly exposed to extremes of temperature, UV light oils and indeed heat induced during braking. Hmm, seems glaringly obvious why these haven’t become universally adopted.

Goo-filled models certainly fired public imagination, or should I say faith, which is no bad thing if it encourages people to ride more generally. However, green gloop enjoys a lifespan of around six, possibly nine months before losing mobility, or in some instances leaking through the valve stems, leaving trails of mysterious spatter marks.

Admittedly; they’ll owe you nothing if you’ve enjoyed trouble free commutes during this time but very messy should a particularly vindictive sharp burrow home. In common with patch kits, qualities vary and sometimes it boils down to faith/other decidedly “unscientific” stuff.

Whatever your preference, track pumps are probably the most cost and labour saving acquisitions for newbies-enabling optimum pressures with nominal effort, greatly extending tyre life, reducing punctures, improving ride quality/comfort and damage associated with potholes, ruts and similarly destructive surface imperfections.

My first was a Silca unit-all steel with bright orange barrel and lozenge shaped handle. Pressure gauges bore only passing affinity with reality but these were easily and inexpensively rebuilt (mine finally expired after eleven years’ relentless service).

Actually, I part exchanged it with a then local dealer/friend, in favour of a deluxe version sporting longer barrel, smoother piston and wooden handle.  More than adequate for most contexts perhaps but designs have come along immeasurably since with greater refinements, not to mention improved accuracy.

I’ve always run higher end metal models alongside a cheap, yet cheerful composite (back up-more convenient consuming less car space when attending race meets, a week’s cottage based touring escape etc).

However, the trend for loftier designs has been a godsend for efficiency-requiring notably fewer strokes, while overcoming the discomfort of being stooped. Arguably this latter point’s a moot one in two bike households but those with bigger fleets, or taller riders serving as race-service/club mechanics.

Loftier desingns, especially those exceeding 68cm can be a little unstable-so look for a nice, sturdy base. Oh and in these times of terrorist anxiety, be wary about using them on the drive since ignorant passers-by may believe you are preparing to detonate explosives. Absurd-perhaps but alas I’ve already been on the receiving end of such hysteria once this week! Now going to educate myself regarding platforms and other digital/e book structures….       

Sorting Shot Bearings

Amid the chaos of wholly unnecessary central heating oil tank replacement (resultant from a neighbour’s vitriolic refusal to accept two independent, qualified reports that the old unit was completely sound and fit for purpose); one's freelance canoe has been paddled with renewed vigour and seemingly positive results. Aside from the usual projects/collaborations, I’ve been weaving through the web's many strands of opportunity, albeit slightly undecided about some.

Anything with the “homeworking” tag targeted specifically at women sets my senses on red alert. For decades this was a euphemism for sweated, piece rate labour that often cost participants more money to acquire the raw materials than they actually made-£5 per thousand envelopes being one of the most commonly advertised lures that springs to mind. 

This appears to have crossed into creative, skilled vocations in recent years- $5 for 1,000 word feature ring any bells among fellow freelancers? Frankly, anyone foolish enough to plunder these depths i.e. willingly compete in such races to the bottom will find precious little sympathy from this corner.  

While shifting half a tonne of new central heating receptacle through the side gate and to its newly set concrete plinth, “Uncle” Benny happened to mention one of his bike’s fit n’ forget square taper bottom brackets had finally turned sloppy, so I agreed to supply and fit a cheap but fairly cheerful Shimano replacement. In this instance we settled upon the Japanese giant's basic UN26 complete with composite sleeves and solid steel axle-£7 inc postage. Removing the resident "Power pro" unit proved less taxing than I thought given a brief blast of penetrant spray inside the seat tube and using sheer leverage from Lezyne's CNC rod.

Despite giving the incoming unit’s threaded sections a liberal slathering of ceramic polymer grease and using precision tooling, these components are decidedly soft and very easily stripped-overcome by applying gentle pulses of super invasive penetrant spray while surreptitiously winding it fully home in gentle bursts.   

No sooner had we everything reinstated and double checked, it became apparent that his entry level road bike’s unit had succumbed to the same fate despite only a handful of rides! Given our experience with the UN26, he’s requested I supply and fit the UN55, whose superior bearings, seals and hollow axle should amass much higher mileages before singing that familiar swansong.

Staying with square tapers, this rather fetching System EX crankset has replaced the cheap but decidedly charming Stronglight ST55. 44 teeth maintain the road sensible 77 inch gearing, eliminating risk of spinning out on the flat or straining on moderate climbs.46/48t are the preserve of track or pancake flat TTs, though supply of 130 BCD fare is reasonable should wear or whim dictate.

At a glance 669g is fairly beefy-less than some super stiff hot forged track models but in keeping with other sub £60 fare and 170mm arms will suit production fixers, conversions or indeed some single/hub gear builds with lower bottom bracket heights since there’s less risk of grounding out when cornering hard.  

Mirror polished finishes are vastly superior to paint and this one should resist the salt monster’s advances for several seasons-longer fed periodic helpings of decent quality polymer car polish. In common with others in this class , detailing's a little workman-like around the inner spider but this isn’t glaringly obvious/likely to prove a deal breaker on trainers/club builds. 

Initial impressions are extremely favourable with excellent power transfer and nominal whip under sprinting or climbing efforts. However, we’re only 50 in to a 300mile plus evaluation for a new consumer focused title, so said remarks must be regarded as formative at this stage.

Rummaging through my spares drawer resurrected these low-profile, dual-sided shop branded Ritchey WCS homages for more convenient getaways and further improved ground clearance.They’re actually rather well made by FTP-another Taiwanese marque, boasting nicely machined, powder coated aluminium bodies, super reliable Cro-moly axles turning on remarkably smooth cartridge bearings. 

Ironically (and this seems true of other patterns) while perfectly accommodating of genuine Shimano cleats, they seem happiest with VP, Wellgo, Btwin and indeed Exustar! On that note, I’m off to pedal my wares and invest further energies into matters marketing/promotional.         

  

Future Proofing

Arguably there’s no such thing, everything must evolve to stand any chance of survival and those, no matter how “intelligent” who refuse to acknowledge and evolve will find themselves obsolete. Change is difficult for us to accept, it challenges our sense of certainty, presenting a new sense of vulnerabilities.

For many decades there prevailed a myth through Dagenham (a town built around the Ford motor company) that educational attainment was completely irrelevant since said motor giant would always grant local people (comparatively) well-paid, semi/unskilled work on their assembly line.

By 1995, according to schools liaison officers the average Dagenham school leaver “Stood a cat’s chance in hell” of being considered for the line’s most rudimentary jobs. Engineering has continued to make a low key return here and in other regions of the UK but levels of remuneration are incomparable with previous decades.

Those of a technical grade, with “valuable” transferable skills will move sideways into other industries/roles, those without face a decidedly uncertain future, forgotten by political administrations-regardless of their ideological “convictions”. 

Many people purport to understand social media but until recently, I’d been an operator, as distinct from mechanic. Rather akin to being stranded by the roadside with an elderly car haemorrhaging litres of coolant, oil and similarly vital fluids, grappling with the running gear is proving a steep but empowering and arguably essential learning curve.

Suspension systems are another perpetual evolution, though have never really fired the imaginations of road riders or at least enjoyed sustained commercial success. Two decades back, Steve Bauer’s Eddy Merrcx Paris Roubaix bike (sometimes sporting Rock Shox front boingers) looked loosely contemporary, though hasn’t aged well-its profile and seating position more reminiscent of Harley homage cruiser motorcycles.  Ditto Bianchi’s curious celeste dual road sussers from 1996 that resemble bicycle shaped objects flogged on petrol station forecourts.   

Weight and added complication have been the traditional lines of resistance. Carbon fibre and titanium  has long been the zing of choice-justly so in most contexts, though I must confess to a soft spot for Girvin’s Flexstem and AMP research’s simple forks-both now rapidly gaining anorak status, having vanished from production at least fifteen years ago with very modest spares availability.

Seatposts have been another mixed bag, from simple yet serviceable elastomer types slipping under £25 to ultra-smooth units employing a heady mix of nitrogen gas cartridge and coil sprung technology. Shorter travel designs have always nudged my consciousness for rough-stuff touring, cyclo cross and tandem stoker applications with Cane Creek’s Thudbuster proving one of the more enduring designs I’d not had the opportunity to test until now….

For the uninitiated, there’s two versions-LT (long Travel) aimed primarily at the enduro /cross country mountain bike audiences whereas its’ ST (short travel) counterpart is for lighter trail/cross/tandem stoker antics. Nudging 454g for the standard 350mm version, it’s offered in a refreshingly comprehensive range of sizes.

Other diameters are accommodated via a series of long shims. Back in the 1990s, several manufacturers of “trick” sub 200g CNC machined exotica produced a single size, supplied with the corresponding shims. Thing was, these were decidedly minimalist, often shallower than penicillin tablets, resulting in seat tube stress fractures. Thus some very prominent brands wouldn’t honour frame warrantees when paired to such.

Popular culture, though TV in particular seems central in engendering an “us n’ them” vehicular tribalism, which misses the point and isn’t remotely conducive to forming intelligent, cohesive integrated transport systems. 

Cycling plays a big part in Joshua’s continued quest for greater autonomy, requiring carefully reasoned, rational risk management. Knee jerk “cotton wool” protectionism is perhaps understandable but disastrously counterproductive, hence why I instilled the basics of road craft and an awareness of the increasingly maddening crowd who substitute skill for varying levels of aggression during his formative tagalong tenure.

Instrumental in this slackening of parental reins are his phone and this bar mounted waterproof Aquapac mobile phone bag. Some would advocate tracking apps and other surveillance but to me, this is decidedly Orwellian and recognising he’s not easily distracted, I’m happy knowing he will ride within his limits, can be contacted and communicate with me should circumstances arise.    

Twaaang! Aka Way of the Exploding Cable Hanger

Yes indeed, having returned from another head-clearing blast along the back roads, I was gently sweeping my Ilpompino back inside the garage when serenity was rudely interrupted by the faintest sound of binding…

We hadn’t encountered any holes or similar rim worrying phenomenon, so I presumed it was just a sticky inner wire. Pumping the left Tektro lever saw induced a faint tinkling as the tiny little pressed steel cable hanger expired, blowing itself into oblivion and inducing that sudden, monumental loss of cable tension.

Stunned silence was replaced by mild irritation-fettling aside; I’d literally engaged its rear stopper three, maybe four times in the last eight years. Initial thoughts leaned toward buying another Surly “braker” unit (as fitted to my Univega) but since the law only requires fixed builds to run a single, lever operated brake, I decided this presented the ideal opportunity to forgo it completely. Not so the braze-on posts. Some folks love nothing better than taking a hacksaw to their framesets but I like the option of reintroducing stuff should need, or fancy take me. They might also make brilliant blinky mounts...

A quick rummage in the spares drawer resurrected this resin Tektro stoker/dummy lever, some grey primer and my long T handled 5mm Allen key. Despite being well maintained, I was surprised at how arthritic the wide arm cantilever’s stainless mounting screws had become and momentarily envisioned strip-city. Having bypassed this grim narrative with a timely shot of release spray and severed the inner cable, things breezed together pretty smoothly.

Despite being previously repatriated and increasingly weathered, the Spa cycles leather handlebar wrap rewound sans protest and having wiped the bosses clear of residual grease, it was a question of either applying a thin, protective layer of polymer lube or, in this instance a thin coat of grey primer topped off with some of this Sugru “form & fix”.  

For the uninitiated, these are thin sachets of self-setting, flexible rubber that, until cured have a texture broadly similar to play dough/plastercine and can be moulded in much the same way.

Achieving smooth, even effects takes literally forty seconds or so, though seems to require a few hours unmolested to cure fully. Paint protectors are an obvious use, though ours has also been employed as replacements for mudguard (fender) stay caps, resealing electrical cables/dynamo wire etc.

Having double checked lever symmetry, reinstated and sealed the cowhide wrap, taking this opportunity to substitute the fetching but only moderately secure wooden plugs with some tap-in composites On the home straight, reinstating those canti-bolts with some Teflon prep the back door sprung open. It was Joshua who, to my astonishment proceeded to tell me this Dualco unit must be a “vacuum primed” design. 

Upon my affirmation, he then explained the mechanical principles behind them-correctly (!) Somewhat fond of deviating from the stock strip when it comes to degreasers and similar grime busting potions, I’ve just taken delivery of this three-litre dilute to taste concentrate from chemicals direct.

Hmm, familiar orange hue, “safe on all surfaces”, not for human consumption etc, interesting aroma too…I’ve a few sneaking suspicions about its potential hostility towards delicate anodised and indeed, flamboyant wet-spray finishes but let’s see how it behaves in various strengths and contexts before passing judgement. 

Baring All aka “The Baboon”

Here now comes the cautionary tale of becoming overly attached to aging Lycra- you know, those old faithfuls plucked from a shop’s sales bin for £10 or less that have soldiered on stoically for a decade or so. Slowly but surely the buttock region has become progressively thinner, there’s some obvious tell-tale fraying around the insert but otherwise, they’re socially acceptable...

Crashes aside, the humble polyester/elastane mix has few natural enemies and literally recedes by stealth. Thundering along the lanes late one night, headful of ideas turning me every which way but loose, I was suddenly conscious of an unusually ambient air coursing around the buttock region. Far from uncomfortable, this agreeable cooling sensation coincided with traffic gliding past serenely at a greater distance than usual for this locale.

Catching sight of one’s derriere’, the reason for this newfound curiosity became brutally apparent- those fibres had worn perilously thin, leaving little to the imagination. Mercifully, bricklaying gangs had left their lintels earlier; otherwise the procession of hoots, jeers and Dagenham smiles would’ve made matters all the more difficult to ignore. Conversely, I was disappointed not to encounter “Colnago man”; a relatively local rider who refuses to acknowledge others, even by way of a discrete nod. 

While relatively courteous, I’m not the most welcoming of figures and don’t generally appreciate folk cruising alongside uninvited for a chat but wilfully ignoring someone who has bid you good morning/afternoon/evening is pretty ignorant. 

The politics of pleasantries have become increasingly complex too if forums are any barometer. Some folks taking great offence (an affront to their masculinity perhaps) at being overtaken by a faster rider unleashing a cheery “Hello”; Personally, I’m only mildly irked if someone has cut me up, or done so to make a point/for effect. Often I’ll whizz past on the following climbs, or laugh hard as a tandem blows them into those proverbial weeds, showing clean heels n’ chrome plastics. 

More changeable conditions i.e. pelted with hail stones the size of sugar cubes ricocheting from my Ilpompino’s top tube certainly brings waterproof jackets to the fore. However, until recently and with the exception of some eVent models, choice was between three seasons’ training models or the classic “Condom” cape synonymous with late 80’s massed start road racing. Admittedly these offered some protection from biblical stuff but left one feeling decidedly boiled-in the-bag after twenty minutes or so.

Micro types which fold much smaller and whose technical fibres facilitate a reasonably comfortable, hygienic inner climate have become increasingly affordable. Dhb Cosmo is a case in point. Subtle (rather than dull or wall-flowerish) colour schemes, gender specific cuts and rugged, “racing snakes” polyamide fabric has come to my rescue on several recent outings. These have been spent evaluating the durability and cleanliness of several different 

chain preps, not to mention some very fancy material specific cleaners and polishes.

The latter supposedly locks in a blemish-free lustre for several weeks following a single application. So far, so good on titanium/carbon composites, though I’m very curious to discover more of their precise chemical makeup. Better quality polymer based, composite friendly waxes promise similar performance and thus, the coming weeks could present some unexpected findings.     

Now…Can anyone guess the identity of this frameset that’s just arrived at the doors of Maldon Shot Blasting & Powder Coating?